I think these two sentences are very similar and could be combined in order to be less redundant.

This concept is called ethnocentrism!

Maybe say "most people" or something like that, as not literally every single person in the world wants wealth. It would be a logical claim that's easier to support.

delete

Is this your thesis? If so, it would benefit from being specified further. What issues surrounding labor forces will you be discussing in this essay? It is such a huge issue, it can't all possibly be discussed in one essay, so inform the reader of exactly what topics you will be covering.

Yes!! Maybe bring this into your thesis?

Try to avoid first person POV in academic writing, unless absolutely necessary!

If you substantiate your claims with evidence, you don't need to state that there is evidence to support your claims. Show the reader, don't tell!

How could you rephrase this to be less awkward/wordy?

In what way? Another big claim.

Is this the first thing that comes to your mind? If so, make that clear. If you are referring to people as a whole, it is unsubstantiated to make a sweeping claim about the inner thoughts of a large group of people.

Is our economy really like no other? Evidence? How is it different from other economies, specifically other capitalist economies?

Evidence?

one word

Cite

Citation?