"After years of research, our engineers have created a revolution in social media technology: a Twitter clone on Instagram that offers the absolute worst of both worlds," said a VR headset-wearing Zuckerberg in an address to dozens of friends in the Metaverse. "At long last, you can read caustic hot takes written by talentless idiots, while still enjoying oppressive censorship and sepia-toned thirst traps from yoga pants models with obnoxious lip injections. You're welcome!"