My original piece was a lot shorter that this new revision. My thoughts were underdeveloped, and my sentences were confusing because I didn't completely know what I was trying to say. In this revision, I went deeper into my examples, being more detailed so that I could figure out what was going through my head and so that my audience could as well.

This piece originated from a freewrite we did on the first day of class where we were asked give our opinions on the phrase, "it's about the journey, not the destination." I chose this piece to work on for several reasons, one being that it was the first piece I ever wrote for this class and I thought it's be interesting to see how I can improve upon something I wrote in the beginning for the end. However, I mostly chose this piece because it is something that I've been thinking a lot about lately, and I felt that I could delve deeper into it than I initially had.

I went through a huge revision process for this paper. Originally, the whole paper was supposed to specifically be about implicit racial bias and its impact on politics. After my workshop, conferences, and interviewing Professor Himes, I realized my paper was becoming more about implicit bias and its effect on politics and people as a whole, not just racial bias. I moved paragraphs and ideas around and added a lot more of my own thoughts on implicit bias to alter my focus.

In the previous draft, there was a paragraph here that talked about the election of Barack Obama. I completely omitted it because the paragraph had no meaning to it. There was no evidence or reasoning, just a claim that was driven by a source and I couldn't back it up. It was also irrelevant to the rest of the paper so it was not needed.

In my first draft, I put in this example of me taking my own IAT later on in the paper. I started with this example to explain what an IAT is because just explaining what an IAT was difficult to follow, an example was needed so people could connect it to other examples of Implicit Association Tests. The way I explained my results were also very difficult to follow so I reworded my results.

This example of the man on the bus was not in my first draft of the Inquiry. The distinction between implicit and explicit bias was confusing, and this paragraph did not have a clear purpose, even though I wanted the main idea of this paragraph to be explaining the difference between implicit and explicit biases. Because of this, I moved the quick explanation of IAT to a later paragraph and just focused on implicit and explicit biases in this one.

In my initial draft, the final sentence of this first paragraph came out of nowhere. The paragraph talked about Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I wrote, "One concept that especially intrigued me was the potential effect of implicit racial bias on the election." I changed the wording of the previous sentence to make the transition of ideas more smooth and I added the question as a follow up to something that made me curious.