Adam Grant said something along the lines of that your identity is a not what you believe but what you value. That makes a lot of sense. We can have values that influence how we believe things should be done. That doesn’t always mean that they need to be done in that way but it can help us see that deep down our values are what influence those things.

I found it interesting when they talked about how a scientist is trying to find the truth, not spread it. In comparison to a pastor who has the truth and is trying to spread it.

A healthy relationship is when people understand that great minds do NOT think alike. We are taught that great minds think alike but this challenges that thought. I think it’s true, when we are able to disagree we admit that there is more than one way to look at things.

The more we invest in a relationship the more we build it.

If we don’t challenge each other on the small things we will never be able to challenge the big things. It is all about learning how to disagree peacefully. We don’t have to change our minds, but if we are at least open to acknowledging that we may be wrong that will give us more intellectual freedom.

When they discussed that parents who had more arguments raised more creative children I at first was confused. But, with an argument it opens the door to other perspectives and possibilities which would naturally increase the creativity. Again I think it depends on the way we argue, if we are doing it just to spite someone that probably won’t teach creativity or maybe it will. I’m still figuring out what this exactly looks like.

Willpower is motivation not self-control

People will attach to a group. They think that the group is a part of who they are. It is so crazy how attached we can get to groups, we think that they define us but they really don’t.

I really liked when Adam Grant said something along the lines of, “I don’t need you to think I’m right, I just need you to recognize that you might be wrong.” That is such powerful thinking. We don’t always have to be right. Sometimes us recognizing that we might be wrong is the right thing for us to be able to become more open-minded.

I also really liked when Adam Grant said “Character is not how you treat people when things are going your way, it’s how you show up on a hard day.” If everything were sunshine and rainbows in our lives then yes, obviously it’s going to be easier to be kind to someone but when we have a hard day but still choose to be kind that’s what really shows our character.

I am going to ponder the last question they asked, “What do you do when your values are tested?” This is a really good question to ask myself especially before going into our big research paper.