p 114 I find it interesting that the author repeats that word twice, "me". He mentions above that he is a killer just not of mammals, which is in itself intriguing (he finds himself unsure and scared when he has to kill a mammal but not when he kills insects or reptiles(the snake). One would think that it is because the goat in its size and amount of blood and organs and organism as a whole is way closer to a human than mosquitoes for example but then the narrator also mentions fights between people where death is highly likely and the ones beating up others are ready to kill. They become murderers the moment they attacked with no regard of how much they hurt the other person. As we know, the narrator has been in fights before (if he is the same narrator as in "House of Hunger" where he fought Harry, for example). Therefore, just as he claims that life is meaningless, so is his reluctance and his claims that he is not a killer, not a "man" in the sense that he is capable of taking a life.) Here, he emphasizes the difference between himself and soldiers and querrillas. He lists them just before these two sentences and then makes the claim that he is not them, he is not a part of war, he is no way obliged to, nor inclined to murder in the name of any cause. The simple sentence "It's me." he wants his sister to think about it from his perspective, summon all her memories and knowledge and find him indeed incapable of murder. The repetition is what turns his argument into a plea. he is begging her to please understand him. He is sincerely scared even if he points out himself that his reservations are illogical. This repetition in the midst of all his thoughts is what brings the readers back to the scene of his sister and him conversing. That is where his feelings come through even if what we read are his thoughts and words.

the narrator's madness has spread to the rest of them

Protista is the "a kingdom or large grouping that comprises mostly single-celled organisms such as the protozoa, simple algae and fungi, slime moulds, and (formerly) the bacteria. They are now divided among up to thirty phyla, and some have both plant and animal characteristics." ~ google

p 121 I find this simile peculiar. People often compare things with wine but never with new wine. It is always old wine, aged, refined, expensive. The older it is, the better. Whenever a person is "like fine wine" they are well mannered and beautiful or in come other way superior to others. Most often however, they are in some way intelligent. They are good at manipulating others' emotions or thoughts and opinions. They "have class" as some say. The reason they are compared to wine is because rich people drink wine, rich and civilized. New wine would then be the exact opposite. However, the phrase used in the text continues:"healthy and supremely fit". This is not the opposite of smart or intelligent or refined or anything of the sort. The opposite would be dumb or dim-witted or mundane. The word "new" also draws attention to the idea of being young, naive, inexperienced and therefore, less knowledgeable (hence, stupid) in comparison to others. And that is precisely what I think the author tried to convey. The character is experiencing blackouts, periods where he does things but doesn't remember them. He is new to this situation but he is also innocent, naive, not in control. He is experiencing a new start in his life, the beginning of something not yet explored. In that sense, he is in a situation where all the words that would describe him are related to his helplessness and confusion, lack of knowledge as to what to do. The author however did not list any of these things but instead used a simile so short yet so full of meaning.

p100 I find it hard to imagine someone kicking something out out of joy. Harry is clearly pleased that he was able to arrange a meeting with Nestar's daughter but more than that, because he will be able to learn something from her. I have seen in comics, in movies and in real life people swing a fist at thin air to express overflowing happiness but it is still entirely different from kicking something. In fact, people commonly kick something in frustration and anger. When they feel like they were kicked by fate or injustice or something so they do the same to something else. Luckily, to inanimate objects. In the book however when someone was angry, they let it out on people. It was a reoccurring action - beating someone up because they angered the character in question (Harry, the narrator's brother and father and even mother, the students, etc.). It is a shift in what would be "civilised" and "normal" and what the society of the House of Hunger are really like. In turn, the way they express joy has take the place of frustration. In other words, Harry is violent even when he is pleased.

p106: I find it peculiar how the narrator (who I will assume is the same as in House of Hunger, as he is neither Harry in this story despite the title) is compliant with others' wishes. He can't make other people do anything unlike characters like Harry or Philip or Julia who exert some kind of control over the people around them. It seems to be a sort of survival mechanism or maybe a lack of willpower. Whatever the case, this is a major difference between him and the aforementioned characters that is very obviously connected to another difference - the worldviews of each character. The narrator seems to be very loyal to the House of Hunger, to his country and nation, etc. even though he is very much aware of all the pain his people are in, all their hardships which are his own as well. Harry on the other hand, views the world as if in black and white -- failure and success, evil and good, as mentioned above. There isn't much we know about Philip but about Julia we do -- she is a predator and the narrator is (as I already mentioned) prey. He is weaker, falls in her hands. He is weaker than his own brother, than his father, etc. The combination of the two major characteristics of each character that I talked about outlines a different aspect of the way in which corruption has befallen this people when they were overtaken by the colonists.

p 82. I think this is another aspect of the House of Hunger we have discussed so much. It is a metaphor for the whole country and its state at that time. The fact that it is outlined by blood (and filled with it) is a way of effectively portraying all the bloodshed. The fact that the stain there has nothing to do with (at least directly) politics also shows that the suffering is caused by the people of the country to others in it (it is an internal cycle of violence and pain). That aspect of it is what I think the House of Hunger is -- the misery and hardship caused by people who have been wronged by others. Additionally, the way Edmund stays in that pool of blood, not getting up (unable to), the House of Hunger has a tight and relentless grasp on its inhabitants. A grasp they are cannot escape.

a pig

p 78 Bosch is a Dutch painter from Brabant (wikipedia), known for his illustrations which are mainly of religious concepts or stories. I find this to be particularly interesting but not surprising as a large portion of the more effective descriptions of people's lives in the House of Hunger or of the narrator's reality in general, include in some way a mention of the divine and of God. Many of Bosch's paintings (like "Hell" and "The Last Judgement") are arguably grotesque, showing much suffering of numerous naked figures. It resembled, to me, the House of Hunger, a depiction of suffering individuals who are unable to escape as they have been put in that position by a powerful being.

p77 Gogol was a novelist, short story writer and playwright of Ukrainian origin (wikipedia). He is best known for " the grotesque and fantastic elements fit in with the realistic matrix of events" (Kornelije Kvas). The specific work later mentioned (p78) satirises political corruption in Imperial Russia. It also focuses on greed and stupidity in a series of errors, made to be a comedic work. The characters represent either irresponsibility, light-mindedness, or absence of measure, among other things. It would appear Edmund is fond of the author because there are no sympathetic characters in the play. I believe this to be so because of the past of this character and the photo description. It is closest to him.

unhappily, a word for an extremely bad mood

p. 76 He says it without conviction which means he both does and doesn't believe it. I think when he says in the previous line "make any sense", it is a synonym for "have meaning"/"have logic an reason in it that's worth remembering". He doesn't believe that because all of his non-physical suffering was because he had ideals, hope, friendship, etc. that the world around him (the harsh reality he lives in and must survive in) has crushed. Nevertheless, those had meaning, made sense, were reasonable. On the other hand though, they didn't last. Especially after being beaten up as badly as was described in the last few pages, he is now apathetic, in a way; numb. None of his successes (whether in academics or relationship-wise or his maturity or any of his realisations) have in any way helped him to avoid the pain. Looking back and thinking about Philip's long speech, all seems chaotic and temporary.

This inexplicable excess, it seems, anger is not unconnected to what he initially stated to be a frustration with nature's independence of him. Here, the storm has him scared.

An allusion to the Bible (one of many). The original story had demons exorcised into pigs who beg Jesus to leave them there at least. Afterwards, the animals drown themselves into the near lake, which makes their owners angry and they ask Jesus to leave their town. Here, the four figures which taunted the narrator aren't simply called demons both implicitly and explicitly, the metaphor suggests the narrator is once again stating he is an atheist. That, in turn serves to contrast the numerous mentions of the divine which ties back to the conflict between English and Shona in his mind - the fact that he doesn't belong to either world. (He is neither the pigs, nor the demons, nor is he a Christian--he is "completely alone").

A continuation of my observations regarding nature and the narrator's view toward it. His anger toward it, expressed in the very beginning is here expressed in another nuance that is not only the frustration of not having control over something but the frustration of being oppressed by something. Here, the elements which are on these walls which are a metaphor for his mind that is being surrounded by walls. As previously the people around him and their anger and actions had been compared to natural phenomena, it is plausible that this description is a way of expressing how his life and the people in it have confined him and are restricting his growth; are robbing him if freedom.

Sadza means soot. The very blackness he claims they have "hit him squarely in the face". The conflict only strengthens his viewpoints and beliefs and the fight that is now described is a smaller-scale version of what is really happening in this society and others like it. It expresses a temporary win that makes things worse eventually.

There is a paradox between the ice and the fact that it "singed" his thoughts. It not only adds to the confusion he is feeling but also expresses how grave his condition is. The way something that is way too cold can be mistakenly perceived as burning upon touch, he is confusing his own state of mind, his identity even.

This metaphor where the narrator is a volcano (and later when the fury of the other boy is compared to a hailstorm) are a throwback to the beginning where the narrator expressed his anger toward the natural phenomena that never changed and that wasn't a part of him. Here, they are the people in the sense that there is nothing that hasn't been engulfed by their way of life.

A follow-up of my other comment that Biblical allusions seem to come up very often

This paragraph is a grotesque picture of what the reality in which the narrator lives is. The combination of divinity and what is considered repulsive seems to be a recurring theme. On page 14 at the bottom there is another similar description of the lives of the people in this House of Hunger which is filled with similarly themed analogies.

The cat's physical pain - parallels with the narrator's situation

Another word for cannabis.

venereal disease: "a contagious disease (as gonorrhea or syphilis) that is typically acquired in sexual intercourse" Mirriam Webster