As gentle as a cow she was, and with a cow’s dopey, almost lovesick expression on her face
The mindless and unthreatening speed and nature of the sea turtle reflect that of a cow. When you see a cow you don't think "I wonder what that thing is capable of doing" you just think (if youre like me) "I wonder how close I can get to it without it noticing or caring"
an Olympic medal for sitting on your ass
Humor. Irony. TeeHee
tossing white hair like a Pentateuchal prophet.
Not only does the hairstyle imply age but his use of Pentateuchal provides a biblical reference to prophets that lived over 100 years.
vaulting mode.
Imagery of acceleration along with elevation and excitement.
feeling squeezed in the form
shows how he was forced to write in a certain way at The New Yorker Imagery of discomfort
eliminating apocrypha
Biblical reference here. Pretty clever
That is no way to start a writing project, let me tell you. You begin with a subject, gather material, and work your way to structure from there. You pile up volumes of notes and then figure out what you are going to do with them, not the other way around
He uses a personal anecdote about his writing experience to provide personal insight
the busty Swede they expected turned into a short and bearded man.
The verbiage in this portion also adds to the humor as the use of 'turned into' is unconventional
the busty Swede
Colloquial and keeps with the humorous writing already prevalent in the intro
they didn’t give sex.
Spontaneousness adds to the humor and is a creative way to begin to talk about such a subject.
They massaged everything from college football players to arthritic ancients
The use of everything instead of everyone dehumanizes their patients, both football players and arthritic ancients. Also, it adds humor to the statement in being so unconventional.
documents.
documents