In my one pager I described the paragraph that these quotes came from. The words she chose struck me because I never would have thought of the shore as a "fairy world." Later in the passage, she talks about little aspects of the shore that made me feel that I was on a tour. I felt that I visited rocks, sea caves, passageways, shells, pools, and even wharf piling. I felt like I was at the shore and in my head I pictured Bethany Beach, where I go every summer. I decided to focus more on my feelings of the shore at Bethany Beach in particular and why I also found it to be a constant. As Carson sees the shore as a meeting place of the land and sea, I see the shore as a meeting place for my family.

Originally, the prompt for the one pager on Carson's essay was to note a descriptive passage. However, I decided to go a different direction. I took how she thought about the shore and explored how I had similar feelings. I agreed that there is a consistency with the shore.

Originally, I was vague here and merely said "you may find remarkable things around you." In order to explain what I meant I had to think about what my observations reveal about the Chocolate Bar. In my conference Brian said that it was a microcosm and that was exactly the word I was looking for. What was remarkable about the Chocolate Bar was all that one could see around them when just sitting there. I decided to explain that one can notice the remarkable microcosm that is the Chocolate Bar to clarify my point.

In this section I had to restrain myself from rambling on about the ebbs and flows of students coming into the Chocolate Bar. When I was making my observations, I noticed how there are lulls during class times and rushes in between. However, I needed to focus on only a few aspects of the Chocolate Bar. Talking with Brian, I came to the decision to mention this instead of analyzing it. It was not the most important observation to mediate on.

I was interested in how people use the Chocolate Bar. Some people come to study, others to chat with friends, and some for interviews. However, in the first draft I described too many uses of this place. I went into detail about a group of students at a table, another person alone studying, and an interview. There were too many observations listed and I needed to focus it, so in this paragraph I was able to condense it into the main idea that people use the space differently. This is a perfect example of how I can put in too many points and not enough analysis.

In used this section to tie back to the beginning idea of a "stereotypical college location." I also described why I found this place significant: I can see a little of everything. It is another part of the Chocolate Bar that I found intriguing besides small talk. I added in this paragraph to bring in a larger theme of examining student life that I dive into in the next two paragraphs. It helped smooth the transition into the larger question.

The idea of small talk was only mentioned briefly in my first draft. During my conference, Brian suggested that I could explore this topic more. I find small talk weird, so I thought I could examine how this social phenomenon occurs in the Chocolate Bar and also analyze what small talk is in general. I thought I was able to clearly describe both how I felt about it.

Originally I did not explain what I meant by a "stereotypical college location." It was a vague claim with no explanation of what a stereotypical college location is or why I consider the Chocolate Bar to be one of them. To me, the Chocolate Bar was a place where you could see a little of everything that one can do in college--which is why tour groups take a stop there. One of my issues when I write is being too vague. Talking to Brian has allowed me to pinpoint confusing moments that I need to clarify and expand upon, this section being one of them.

Isn't this conversation unique.