7 Matching Annotations
  1. May 2018
    1. By cutting herself off from the known, she forces herself to explore the unknown and adapt so that she can survive communicating in a foreign language. Then, instead of focusing on the strict grammatical concepts that guide one in learning Italian, Lahiri went in without the guide of grammar, losing herself in Italian and writing freely in her Italian diary. This forced her to explore and learn, not just about the Italian language, but about herself. Through this trial by fire, she changed who she was as a person and as a writer.

      This piece was one of my first “To a Question” responses for the class, in response to an article Jhumpa Lahiri wrote about learning Italian. In my unrevised version, I spent most of my writing focusing on the idea of exile and how she embraced it in order to be successful in her learning of Italian. Yet I felt like my writing lacked original and thought-provoking ideas; many of my thoughts simply mirrored Lahiri’s and failed to go further. I felt that there was a lot of potential in going beyond the exile, but also exploring where this exile must have brought Lahiri before she finally learned Italian. I found that it connected closely with the idea of getting lost, so I added in a couple thoughts about Lahiri’s losing herself in language.

    2. However, her use of the word exile is a strange choice. Generally, exile is used to describe the barring of a person from his/her native country, but in this case, Lahiri is the one barring herself from English and “exiling” herself to Italian. Without the constriction of having a language to fall back on, an opportunity to be easily found in language, Lahiri then completely loses herself in her learning of Italian.

      In my unrevised version, I spent a lot of time focusing on how the exile was Lahiri’s choice, but in my revisions, I thought it would be better to be more concise and direct in my description of her exile. In order to better connect it to my ideas about getting lost, I made sure to note the relation of exile to place, which connects to my discussion of being lost because I compare the new language to unfamiliar territory for Lahiri. This helped make the work more cohesive and united than it was at first and allowed me to go deeper into a point that was more focused.

    1. And while I agree with his viewpoint that animals feel emotion and that there is something wrong about killing them, I’m not a vegetarian either, and I don’t feel too remorseful about it. When I am eating my turkey sandwich or devouring a chicken cutlet, I don’t feel guilt for the turkey or chicken that had to die for me to be enjoying my meal; I just think of how tasty it is. And I am hardly alone

      In my rough draft, I was encouraged by peers to insert myself more prominently in the paper, something I had done really sparingly not just in this paper, but most of my writing. However, I realized that in order to better convey my point of view on the issue, it would be good to make clear what my feelings were about animals. By delving more into my apathetic feelings towards human treatment of animals in my final draft, I help to justify the idea of convenience that I introduced in the previous paragraph, strengthening my ideas through my own experience.

    2. The real reason most people are inclined to find Descartes argument sound is more likely convenience. Descartes’ reasoning is convenient in that it justifies generations of human mistreatment of animals and makes our present lives easier. If we considered animals to be conscious creatures with a moral value akin to our own, we would have to reevaluate how we live our lives: what we eat, where we live, and how we treat animals in general. It’s so much easier just to agree with Descartes’ claims and not have to think critically about the implications the actions in our everyday lives have on animals, which is why people are inclined to agree with Descartes, even when science points otherwise.

      Without a doubt, this paragraph, whose ideas weren’t even considered in my rough draft, best illustrates my growth as a writer. After going through all of the sources and ideologies on the issue, I realized that there was something missing from the argument about why humans were superior to animals, something that no source would say. I explored these thoughts in my head, losing myself in thought as I considered the issue in detail. Through my thought, I was able to put my own spin on the sources in my essay, inserting my opinion in a way that builds off of my sources but also goes beyond them, making for original, thought-provoking writing.

    3. In the past decade or so, there has been a growing awareness surrounding the emotions that animals feel. In fact, Carl Safina wrote a book about this very subject, titled Beyond Words: How Animals Think and Feel. In an interview with Simon Worrall of National Geographic titled “Yes, Animals Think and Feel. Here’s How We Know,” Safina laid out his argument for why he believes animals have a consciousness and are capable of feeling emotion. “If you watch mammals or even birds, you will see how they respond to the world. They play. They act frightened when there’s danger. They relax when things are good” Safina said, “It seems illogical for us to think that animals might not be having a conscious mental experience of play, sleep, fear or love” (Safina, in Worrall). By connecting numerous observations of behaviorisms that animals had in common with humans, Safina concluded that there had to be more going on in their heads than mere mechanized reactions. An example Safina uses of elephants guarding a lost old woman from a pack of hyenas seems to indicate that they must feel some kind of emotion. Another example Safina used was a humpback whale pulling a seal out of the water to save it from killer whales (Worrall). If animals were really all just mechanical robots, they wouldn’t show this concern for their fellow creatures, meaning there must be some form of consciousness, some emotions there. According to the article “Animal emotions: Do fruit flies feel fear?”, by Joseph Dussault, some sort emotion was even found in fruit flies in a study conducted by biology Professor David Anderson. “For us, that’s a big step beyond just casually intuiting that a fly fleeing a visual threat must be ‘afraid,’ based on our anthropomorphic assumptions,” Anderson said. “It suggests that the flies’ response to the threat is richer and more complicated than a robotic-like avoidance reflex” (Anderson, in Dussault). Clearly, these advances and scientific observation and studies show that animals as seemingly simple as fruit flies are more than machines, yet for some reason, we are still inclined to see them that way.

      Originally, this paragraph didn’t exist at all. In my rough draft, I structured my paper with an intro paragraph, a background paragraph, three reasons why people feel superior to animals and a conclusion. However, following the feedback I received and my own close reading of the paper, I came to realize that my third reason, the current state of animal studies, didn’t really have any interesting qualities. As a result, I decided to scrap my mechanical three-reason template and instead follow an idea which I hadn’t explored in my rough draft, whether animals can feel emotion. This flowed a lot better because it connected to both Descartes’ ideas in the previous paragraph and my own in the following paragraph.

    4. After all, we have an inability to speak or communicate intelligently with non-humans, so there is no way of knowing that these animals are anything more than machines. However, since we are human, we know that we have a consciousness and feelings because we experience it. Following this line of thought, animals would then be mere objects, devoid of moral value, and humans, because we have a consciousness and emotions, have intrinsic value. In this way, Descartes’ line of thinking characterizes animals in the same category as a printer or a chainsaw, an object with mechanized reactions based off of a command. I feel like I am speaking for most people when I say that I would certainly value myself above a printer, and by Descartes’ reasoning, it should be no different with animals.

      In my rough draft, my writing on Descartes was bare bones. I didn’t really move beyond my sources, which said that Descartes denied thoughts and feelings to animals. Since Descartes thoughts on the issue were very complex by nature, my description of them came off as confusing and dull. In my revision, I spent much more time explaining how I perceived the logic behind Descartes theory. When I thought of the word “machine”, my thoughts carried me to a mechanized machine such as a printer, so I chose to write in the passage about the printer in order to exhibit how this consciousness gives us more value than animals, something Descartes doesn’t address.

    5. However, due to variation in traditions of different humans, there are no traits that span all humans that would make them superior to animals. For example, humans know for sure that we are the only species on this planet that can communicate with other humans through speech. Other animals lack the ability to speak (beyond merely repeating phrases like a parrot). Yet, according to the World Federation for the Deaf, there are 70 million people in the world who are deaf, many of whom can’t speak (“Home Page”). By a distinction such as language, these people lacking the ability to speak would be considered animals. Surely this cannot be the case; they are obviously human, so language can’t be a distinction.

      This passage, an add-in after the rough draft of my paper, represents how I learned to interact with my sources and think more critically about what they are saying. Originally, when discussing what Day meant by “playing it safe,” I failed to properly explain the idea that Day was conveying, instead just using the same hypothetical Day did. However, after being urged to put in more of my own ideas in workshop, I decided to genuinely consider if there were any traits that would apply to only humans. I came up with the trait of speech, and using a source to back up my ideas, exhibited this point my own way.