IS there likely one true way of being British?

What it means to be British surely depends on who you ask, where they live, what social class they belong to, etc, etc. Britishness is hardly going to have one meaning.

Most interesting when you talked about York and Edinburgh vis a vis London. Were these places more ethnically monolithic than London? What seemed provincial or peculiar about them? Try to push beyond the commonplace.

?

what are you basing this view on?

meaning?

obvious?

can you really deduce the latter from the former? Most people work an 8 hour day.

clarify. What are these?

This is a sweeping statement. What's your evidence? Many people in Britain would say that Brexit has massively polarized the nation.

you need to build in transitions between ideas/sentences. What has a tube system got to do with being 'kind and accepting'?

meaning?

Notice that you have slipped from being British to being a Londoner.

Interesting, but you need to acknowledge your sources. Did you come across Amy Johnson at the IWM? Weren't there other female pilots in non-combat roles during WWII?

unheard

she died in 1910 before WWI

days

confusing

Thorough and well-researched paper, even if the actual writing is rather rough in places.

source?

wrong word. Reclaim?

The poem explains...

How? Taking the marbles may have been wrong, but how was it horrific?

Explain the realtionship between the British and Ottoman empires. Were they rivals? Allies?

awkward

This is an important point that you need to introduce earlier.

Did Britain 'decide' or Lord Elgin? Was he acting on behalf of the British gov? These sorts of questions really matter.

What role did Britain have in governing Greece at this time?

What do you know about Greece in 1801? Was it the Greece we know today? Had it been taken over by another empire?

What time period? The museum was opened this century.

Violence against women is everywhere in the media and in entertainment. There are plenty of shows about men who murder women. Are the people who make them just as culpable as the owners of the Ripper Museum?

While I applaud your stance, I want to see more evidence-based argument than just assertions. Even if you didn't visit in person, you can still go to the website and read online reviews from supporters and critics.

unclear

this

In what way does the museum praise the Ripper?

wrong word

again you need evidence to make this point stick

Unclear. Are you suggesting the museum is illegal? How do you know it 'honors' Jack the Ripper? Did you go inside? If so, give details.

When did the murders take place? Are there any relatives of the victims still alive? Again, some research required.

tourist

fewer

who are 'they'?

Tell us about the history of the change. Who owned the property? Who were the investors? I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find this information out.

awkward

unclear

clumsy sentence

I thought it was originally meant to be a Women's History Museum.

Do you have any actual evidence for your claim that Eton and Oxford are still dominated by elite, monied families? Both institutions make a big deal about an anonymous selection process that only takes account of the child's personality, abilities, and promise. Does this seem to be working?

A question worth asking is why don't more kids from schools like St Paul's end up attending places like Eton and Oxford if the primary school, as you say, is actually doing a very good job?

you use the word 'quality' several times in the essay (three times in this final para alone) without spelling out what makes the school special. It's not a very helpful adjective.

Perhaps, in so far as wealthy students make for wealthy alums and wealthy donors. But Oxford is supposed to admit students on academic merit alone.

'm not sure this is true. St Paul's school was for the most part mono-cultural--made up of kids from predominantly Bangaladshi backgrounds. Eton on the other hand may well have a majority of white students, but it also has students from many different countries, races, and ethnic groups.

clarify

what do you mean by this?

The paper is okay, but could be more interesting if you had developed some sort of a focused argument. Rather than simply saying there are similarities and differences between the 2 systems, perhaps set up an argument about how the English primary system is superior to the US system, but higher ed in the US has many advantages over its UK counterpart. Another approach might be to think more carefully about the role of religion in the two systems. It seems odd that the US supposedly upholds the separation of Church and State yet requires all students to recite a pledge that mentions God. In the UK, on the other hand, the three institutions you visited were all established with explicitly religious missions yet today religion plays a very different role in each of them.

Who is 'they'?

slang. Is this emphasis on higher ed in the US a middle- class phenomenon or does it include all social groups?

But surely students in some American High Schools get to study different religious traditions in courses like Social Studies? I'm not sure the differences are as stark as you present them. You also have to ask whether St Paul's school is typical in adopting this curriculum.

be more specific: what religions are you thinking of? What evidence do you have for religious intolerance? Cite examples. Back up assertions with evidence.

but do you see any disadvantages? The 6th form system requires students to specialize at a much earlier stage than in the US.

This was the exam I had to take c.1971. For the most part, it has now been phased out

the monarch is only the head of the ruling class or aristocracy

there are a few that come close. For example, Phillips Academy in Andover, MA, and other expensive and prestigious Prep schools.

as well as several prime ministers and many important figures in the nation's political, intellectual, artistic, and sporting life

its

some images would be nice. The whole point of Scalar is that it's multi-media!

A more interesting way of framing the paper would be to argue that in terms of early childhood education Britain leads the way, but in terms of higher ed the US system is better (more inclusive and flexible).

interesting. Can you relate health education to the school's mission of educating the whole person: mind, body, and spirit?

These are faith schools that teach you that their particular religion is the Truth. They aren't educating kids in a scholarly, neutral way about different religious traditions.

Be more specific. What age groups are being taught what exactly? And how are they being taught about religion? When do they start learning foreign languages?

sounds like kids have actual compasses implanted in their brains!

and visited

was the one in which we toured

Are you saying that Jewish pupils have to attend Protestant services for example?

Aren't world religions covered in social studies or other kinds of classes in American schools?

you make some intriguing points, but they could be organized and presented more effectively. Make it clear at the outset that your topic is the religious basis of the British educational system. Perhaps start with Eton and Oxford, their foundation as religiously inspired institutions, and the continuing role that religion plays. Then turn to St Paul's as an example of an originally C of E school that now handles religion in a very different way.

interesting section with helpful facts and details

confusing

wrong word

what's this?

educated about and understood other religious traditions...

was this actually a class?

wrong word

The queen is in no sense the 'ruler of the UK.' Her official title is: 'Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of her other realms and territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.'

You have some interesting insights, but you overlook the role of religion in 'everyday British life,' which is what you propose to discuss at the beginning.

I agree that British monarchy is an intrinsically religious institution. But surely it would make more sense to compare British prime ministers with American presidents in terms of religion. Historically, British politicians have always been far less willing to talk about their faith than American politicians. Ironically, even though America is the country theoretically committed to the separation of church and state, American political discourse is informed far more by religious ideas and appeals than is the British equivalent.

or even a non-religious or openly atheist president.

But the monarch has no real power any more. What's more, she rarely makes religious statements, and when she does they tend to embrace all religious faiths.

awkward

of what?

Is the coronation of the monarch part of "everyday society" (the term you use in your first sentence)?

Shouldn't you point out that the American constitution is founded on the separation of church and state?

was the presence of religion ...

Your essay is a collection of rather scattered and random thoughts about Oxford. I wonder if you could find a more interesting way of organizing your observations around a central point? Maybe something along the lines of: Oxford is a unique blend of British tradition and British innovation; or, Oxford brought together many of the course themes because the city has played such a central role in the nation's history.

Did you visit the museum and, if not, did you read up about it? It's unclear what sources and evidence you are basing your analysis on. It's hard to justify a controversial institution unless you have a basic understanding of its nature and function.

again, a confusing sentence.

you need to PROOF READ carefully to avoid basic writing errors.

interesting, but where is this cafe in relation to the ripper museum?

source?

East

Who said this? What sources and evidence do you have?

confusing sentence. Words missing?

intended to be (it was never actually founded)

evidence? Are you saying that tabloid media developed in response to the murders?

Interesting. You seem reluctant to take a stand at the end of the essay. Finally, where do you come down on the question? What would you do?

what do you mean by this?

was Elgin acting on behalf of the government or as a private individual?

explain

who is 'they'? clarify.

when? How old are they?

wrong word

there

Quite interesting, Matt. It would help if you could give some more context at the outset about the school and its neighborhood. Do you think it's a problem that the school is mostly made up of kids from one ethnic group? What could be done about this? I agree that the school is exemplary and perhaps unusual in the way it tries to develop the whole person--intellectually, physically, and emotionally. And it also understands that a child's problems in school are often connected to family life. Hence teachers' efforts to educate parents as well as children. It's a very holistic approach to education.

where in London? Tell us about the neighborhood and its history.

good point

can you give examples of others?

confusing sentence

clarify.

cultural

teach more controversial subjects

cultural

A well conceived paper, Lauren. It might be worth pointing out that when women do get represented it is often as objects of illicit male sexual desire. Are the leering sailors at one end of a spectrum that has Jack the Ripper at the other extreme?

readers?

good, but can you make a better connection between your new discussion and the discussion of the painting?

Good point. Any ideas about why Pidding did this?

coat of shame

tense: 'have literally been painted over'

in unflattering ways.

Are you thinking about the representation of women in painting, or in various media? Clarify.

most?

woman. PROOF READ!!!

They

women weren't needed to vote. They wanted or demanded to vote. Women were needed to work in munitions factories etc.

you seem to change focus in the middle of the essay. You'd be better off in a short essay making it clear from the outset that your focus is on the impact of the two world wars on the position of women in British society.

So didn't women's status change in the US as a result of the wars?

that's a big jump from women in the wartime labor force to Thatcher becoming PM

unclear where the quotation begins and ends

which war are you talking about?

our

families

which one?

?

Images?

only WWI is the Great War

I think what you are really talking about is religion in society rather than just in government.<br> Also, isn't your definition of religion rather narrow? Why mention only Anglicans in Britain. What about Catholics, Jews, Muslims etc? You point out this diversity in America after all.

Not clear what role religion is playing in this decision. Were his parents arguing for continuing support on religious grounds? Were the doctors influenced by their own religious beliefs in making the decision they did? It's complicated.

Perhaps; but remember that you point out above that 1000s of people have been killed in the name of God and that religious societies can also be persecuting ones.

what's your evidence for this? You give statistics for US, but not equivalent ones for the UK.

How does Protestant align with Anglican?

to society as a whole

explain what this term means

can you expand this point? Give us more historical context. You learned how a state Church of England was forged in the Reformation with Henry VIII as its head, and how, until the nineteenth century, it dominated most parts of British life.

Well done Maggie. The essay is beautifully focused and does a splendid job integrating the two poems into the analysis. I also like the way you communicate your honest ambivalence about the repatriation question.

perhaps mention the Turkish occupation earlier in the essay

or pagan religion?

good detail

an

can you give a few more details about Elgin's motives and the context of the marbles' removal.

see

Do all Britons share the same view on the marbles? Or are you talking about the view of successive British governments?

I admire your stance Brynn! Could you add more specifics though. Did you visit the Ripper museum? What kind of story does it tell? How are his victims presented?

Which women were to be included in the original museum? Even if you can't find this out you might still suggest some women you learned about on the trip who you think are worthy of inclusion. It's a bit ironic that in a paper dedicated to the need to recognize women's many and diverse achievements you don't mention a single woman by name.

who are/were they? Let's have some names and more context about the museum that never was.

could you give a sense of the numbers of women who protested and for how long?

you need to rewrite the sentence for it to make sense. But more to the point, surely people were upset. You have just told us as much. Are you wondering why more people weren't upset?

in what sense did you hear the museum?

or indeed anywhere in London

whose

Interesting essay, Bailey. Were there any aspects of the British system that you think the US could learn from? Also I wasn't clear on how Eton fit into your analysis. I suspect that Eton students encounter a wider range of subjects and disciplines and are thus able to make more informed decisions about what path to take in uni.

how do they know what these are until they have explored the full range?

specialization only really takes place the last two years before university

can you make a better connection between this new section and the last?

educated

discipline

this is just for the last two years known as Sixth Form (lower sixth and upper sixth)

middle school as such does not exist in UK

unlike universities in the UK

Do you mean Sixth Form College? i.e., the last two years of High School

A well-conceived and nicely-written essay Delaney. I really like the way you use the poem to make a point about contemporary representations. A pleasure to read.

explain further

refers to

or woman?

need a quote and further comment here

I notice you have switched from talking about being British to being English. Is this significant? Would your new friends identify as English or British?

what about the history of beating and bullying at Oxford?

I think you mean the lack of flexibility in the British system and the emphasis on specializing early on.

what do you mean by this? A meritocracy?

class-based

wrong word

give us details about the school: name, location etc.

surely education is more than helping kids make informed decisions! Isn't it about instilling knowledge, encouraging intellectual curiosity, and developing the full potential of individuals?

WW

This seems to oversimplify the situation. Certainly, many recruits to the armed forces were driven by a sense of national pride, but the realities of life at sea and in the colonies was often harsh. Surely the painting captures this tension between noble ideals--the wide eyed young recruit--and the difficult realities of the imperial project.

I can see the excitement in the painting, but I think the overall composition is more complex than you allow. Surely the wife and mother are trying to prevent him from signing up? The wife is physically interposing herself between the naval recruiter and her husband. Furthermore, who is the young man at the center of the scene? What are his qualifications to serve in the navy?

Not sure what you mean by this.

are imperialism and colonialism one and the same? Or did one begin before another in the British context?

motives?