Thus, when parental divorce impacts negatively the quality of parent-child relationships, which it frequently does, their children’s attachment styles become more insecure than secure.

I don't think that it would be just to say that divorce negatively impacts the child- it's the unhealthy relationship that exists between the parents that is the culpable. In many cases, divorce would actually be a better solution than staying in an abusive household.

In both passion and infatuation, people tend to fall in love with their own projections and idealizations, that is, with qualities that would make them more admirable or complete.

I actually believe that this statement is true especially when people first develop crushes on people they are not that close to hence they fall in love with the idea of what they could be rather than who they actually are.

And like an addiction, it can be viewed as highly desirable and difficult to control.

I don't really believe that juxtaposing love with addiction is a healthy way of describing love because it gives it negative connotations and would, to a certain extent, justify people staying in unhealthy relationships just because it is "difficult to control".

romantic love is a motivational state as fundamental as hunger and thirst

I don't think that it would be reasonable to compare romantic love with other basic need such as hunger and thirst because alluding to this would entail that a person who does not pursue this would not survive. I also believe that it strips a person from their agency because it assumes we would need to depend on another person for our survival. Even if we take Maslow's hierarchy of needs as an example, we would see that biological needs (thirst and needs) exist at a very different level than feelings of love and belonging hence could not be compared to it. Maslow's theory does not also specifically specify romantic love as a need.

For the adult who grew up in a divorced or dysfunctional family, the un-certainty about what constitutes love is even more profound than for those growing up in intact families because of the contradictions and disparities regularly experienced in family life regarding love.

I believe that this statement holds a certain truth to it because I think that we learn what love is- and what to expect from it- by observing our parents; hence it is reasonable that people who grew up in dysfunctional families would tend to be more "insecure" about love- and the one thing that would always be on their minds would be to avoid being in a similar situation as their parents. While it is not unusual at all for them to be in healthy relationships, whilst growing up they would be more uncertain about what love actually is and whether it really exists or not.

It gets all mixed up. I mean, you can love one person in one way and another person in another way.

I think this concept could be better understood through identifying which of the three components (intimacy, passion, commitment) of love you feel towards one person. Once we get to identify this, we can then better comprehend how our love towards one person differs from another. And while I do believe that love can be manifested differently- for instance loving your parents is different than loving your romantic partner which is also different from loving your friend- I don't actually wholeheartedly agree with the statement that it can get mixed up because if you truly do feel love towards someone, I don't think that you can deny this feeling or confuse it once you know.

Claire Shady