7 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2021
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    Malins - Draft 1.pdf
    7
    1. darcy.le 01 Apr 2021
      By striving to experience and understand each form of non-linguistic communication, stronger relationships will be formed through greater empathy and understanding

      honestly I think you already have a pretty good essay so I'm really sorry if there is too little annotation! I marked some places that you can expand on by quoting the detail from the original text to increase the word count for the second draft so u can consider it. overall the flow of your essay is very enjoyable and logical, the argument is convincing and insightful. goodjob!!

    2. darcy.le 01 Apr 2021
      Additionally, her increased attention to her neighbors throughout the novel demonstrates the positive effect these observations have in her relationshipsand the understanding of herself.

      this is another place where you can expand on a bit with the detail from the original story, to increase the word count/

    3. darcy.le 01 Apr 2021
      While I agree with this sentiment, I think it is especially important to look at the non-linguistic elements of translation. Although words are the most direct form of communication, they often do not tell the full story and are even used for the purpose of deception. Non-linguistic elements, however, often give insight into the true motives and feelings of an individual.

      I just have an idea that you can consider comparing this point with the idea of Benjamin that you explain in the following paragraph because it's similar in general topic but quite different in details.

    4. darcy.le 01 Apr 2021
      It is at this moment where Özdamar realizes her father’s relationship with the telephone,saying, “Now I understood my father’s pain and restlessness” (6).

      you can add more detail on this, like the story about the father's relationship with the telephone. it's just a way to make your essay a bit longer

    6. darcy.le 01 Apr 2021
      Each day,Özdamarnotes his sounds, movements and mannerisms.

      I think you can quote some sentences about this from the original text, it would be nice to read and add some additional words as well

    7. darcy.le 01 Apr 2021
      It is only when Özdamar is experiencing firsthand sensations in her courtyard that she is able to form a meaningful understanding of the lives of her neighbors, and an understanding of her own.

      Your opening passage is very logical and each sentence supports other very well! I'm just wondering if it might be better that you combine one thesis sentence that includes both of your idea about the sensation and the telephone.

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