8,270 Matching Annotations
  1. Oct 2019
    1. It  provides us a little background about what the letter is for and to whom

      Are there any other clues that King is mindful of his audience (reference to the Bible, for example?)

    2. The audience for this

      transition?

    3. Kings writing

      King's

    4. What is the writer trying to achieve? Are they trying to send a message?

      Can you be more precise? Purpose and message are not the same, right?

    5. whenever you

      why the shift to "you"?

    6. their messages sent to their audience.

      no post write?

    7. Martin Luther King Jrs Letter from Birmingham Jail https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf Gloria Anzalduas book How to Tame a Wild Tongue  https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf Billy Collins commencement address https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commenceme

      not quite MLA format

    8. Sources:

      Works Cited

    1. this makes it clear that he is speaking to a group of education school graduates.

      exactly

    2. The genre of “Lift Off” is a speech, this is the best choice of genre for this piece, because it is meant to be read aloud at a graduation

      note comma splice: using comma like period Also I wonder if you can be more precise: this is a spoken word poem, right?

    3. the purpose of his writing is to motivate, and inspire

      good point

    4. Billy Collins uses genre, audience, and purpose effectively in his Commencement Address at Colorado College.

      good topic sentence

    5. as does Billy Collins in his Commencement Address at Colorado College.

      I appreciate the effort at transition

    6. King discusses the purpose of direct action,

      yet you are to focus on the purpose. of the letter and not on direct action, right? See the difference?

    7. Also, to explain and justify his civilly disobedient actions, in hopes that they will realize as religious leaders, they should be fighting for equality.

      seems to be a fragment

    8. The purpose of King’s writing

      transition?

    9. However, King uses a religious reference to change the minds of the clergymen, “But as I continued to think about the matter, I gradually gained a bit of satisfaction from being considered an extremist. Was not Jesus an extremist in love? — “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you.” Was not Amos an extremist for justice? — “Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.” Was not Paul an extremist for the gospel of Jesus Christ? — “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.””

      good use of text in support

    10. bible

      Bible

    11. MLK uses many techniques in his writing to appeal to the audience.

      transition needed?

    12. First off, it would make sense to use a letter because he was responding to criticism he received. Writing a letter allows him to directly address, and respond to the people that sent him the letter.

      good point

    13. The genre of this piece is a letter, although

      note that you are using a comma instead of a period

    14. Genre, audience, and purpose are clearly incorporated into the works: “Letter from Birmingham Jail” by Martin Luther King, Jr., Billy Collins’ Commencement Address at Colorado College, Donovan Livingston’s “Lift Off”. 

      This introductory paragraph is helpful.

    15. there are two different types of purpose: general, and specific.

      elaborate?

    16. your work

      why the shift to "you"?

    17. King, Martin Luther. “Letter from Birmingham Jail” . The Atlantic Monthly, “Lift Off.”  https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf.   Harvard Graduate School of Education, https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/16/05/lift.

      You seem to have merged your sources and need to follow MLA format

    18. Blau, Susan, and Kathryn Burak. Writing in the Works. Wadsworth/Cengage Learning, 2017.

      close but needing place of publication?

    19. I have never written a rhetorical analysi

      good to know

    1. Well, now college is the past. What happened? It’s a mystery. Even with a Time Machine, the future you may visit immediately becomes your new Present” (Collins Colorado College). Collins speaks to the audience telling them that future is insignificant and that they should think about the present. This idea in a simpler form is thinking like, what do I do now? At this moment? “Carpe diem” is used in this piece to represent the theme of the address as seize the day.

      you seem to lose focus in this paragraph, no?

    2. (Collins Colorado College)

      the author's last name for citation will be enough

    3. Collins shows use of audience in a very effective way. He directly tells the audience that he knows they don’t want to hear the speech but he continues, “ It is well-known in the world of public speaking that there is no pleasure you can give an audience that compares to the pleasure they get when it is over, so you can look forward to experiencing that pleasure 13 minutes from now” (Collins Colorado College). Collins is familiar with his audience as he connects by acknowledging that the graduates do not want to sit through 13 minutes of the speech. In the big picture he utilizes this strategy to make the audience more comfortable from the use of comedic effects.

      I think this paragraph has a good, sharp focus

    4. This address pushes the boundaries of the genre because he notes that time is insignificant and that the only way to move forward in to live in the present.

      not sure I follow your logic: what does the usual commencement speech do?

    5. To finalize Livingston’s address

      transition doesn't quite work, I think

    6. “I am a strange fruit who grew too ripe for the popular tree” (

      I don't see how this quotation shows audience awareness? Find another example. Name the audience as educators, okay? That might help.

    7. Livingston shows that he pushes boundaries to set an example for the graduates and to inspire them to do the same.

      okay: good. Please explain and demonstrate with evidence?

    8. Donovan Livingston is a poet who delivered a speech at a commencement for graduating Harvard students.

      Can you revise the topic sentence to include one of the key terms?

    9. “There is a more excellent way, of love and nonviolent protest. I’m grateful to God that, through the Negro church, the dimension of nonviolence entered our struggle”

      I'm not sure that this quotation shows purpose. Can yo find another and show explicitly how it expresses King's purpose?

    10. the term purpose is shown as a use of successful writing

      again, try to be a bit more precise and informative: "King has a clear sense of purpose."

    11. Also, King represents the term of audience in “Letter From Birmingham Jail” through a specific example.

      I wonder if you might be clearer in this topic sentence: "King shows a good understanding of his audience, who happen to be eight, white clergymen". Then I'd like you to show evidence that King is mindful of his audience. I think you have the quotation that might work here.

    12. King shows understanding of successful writing throughout the whole letter to the clergymen.

      do you want to use the word "genre" in this topic sentence?

    13. Luther

      King

    14. In these pieces, the writers showed an understanding of successful writing by using genre, audience, and purpose throughout multiple examples to create effective literature.

      You might end the sentence after the word "purpose."

    15. astly, purpose is why someone is writing/what the writer is trying to say

      try to be more precise: these are not the same, right?

    16. These terms are the importance towards interesting and successful writing, as writing would be bland without.

      not sure what this sentence adds

    17. Collins, Billy. Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. King, Martin Luther. Letter From Birmingham Jail, 1963, https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf. Livingston, Donovan. Donovan Livingston’s Harvard Graduate School Student Speech, 2016, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XGUpKITeJM.  

      pretty good form Remember to include date when you last visited the site

    18. ffective literature

      I don't see a post write

    1. Gloria

      please use her last name only when referencing the author

    2. This is a speech he gives to the graduating class at Colorado College. His speech gives advice to live in the present, that people tend to worry to much about the future. He states ” When your time is done, you will be remembered for what you did, not for what you never got around to doing”(Collins). Billy Collins is a poet, but the words written is to motivate with realism. He states how it’s perfectly fine to not succeed the first time you do something, but to try again before you consider yourself a failure.

      This is fairly clear but I'd like to see more analysis and less summary. Please discuss the genre, the intended audience, and the purpose--and show evidence from the source in support, okay?

    3. I will begin with a commencement speech by Billy Collins

      I wonder if in your next draft you can use a topic sentence that begins to focus. your paragraph's meaning

    4. Billy Collins Commence ad

      edit for mechanics: Billy Collins' Commencement Address Capitalization and punctuation matter

    5. There is three topics

      There are Try to be precise, okay: these are not "topics" but sources, right?

    6. Three in which I found interesting and inspiring.

      sentence fragment

    7. Genre, to me a particular style in music, movies or writing’s

      sentence fragment

    8. you will come

      why the shift to "you"?

    9. Cited Sources:

      Works Cited

      The list seems to conform to MLA--good

    10. Livingston’s,

      typo?

    11. and to inspire others to be proud of where they came from.

      no post write?

    1. they able

      typo

    2. The 3 sources

      three

    3. Donovan Livingston like Billy Collins uses a commencement speech for the genre

      again, good transition and potential topic sentence but you seem to lose focus later in the paragraph in talking about audience/purpose

    4. is aiming his letter at the 8 religious white leaders.

      yes--good Can you provide evidence from the letter that shows king mindful of his audience. Not sure your quotation does that

    5. While Martin Luther King was a well-known speaker who could motivate others using speeches, he is able to reach his audience by using a letter.

      yes--good But why choose the letter genre? Please explain?

    6. While Billy Collins is trying to inspire, MLK uses a letter to incite change.

      not a bad transition, although you might also include our key terms?

    7. He is motivating the class of 2008 to stay in the moment and enjoy each day to the fullest

      okay: perhaps you can put the idea of motivation earlier in the paragraph about purpose?

    8. Billy Collins is speaking to the graduating class of 2008, at Colorado College

      could use a topic sentence to help focus the paragraph

    9. In Billy Collins writing he uses a commencement speech as his genre.

      If this is your topic sentence the whole paragraph would focus on genre, right? And yet I am seeing audience and tone mentioned. I'm not saying that they can't be connected but you haven't made the connection. The paragraph could use a sharper focus, I believe.

    10. The three sources, Billy Collins commencement speech at Colorado college, Letter from Birmingham Jail by Martin Luther King Jr. and the spoken word commencement address at Harvard by Donovan Livingston all do a great job using genre, reaching the audience and achieving the purpose in their writing.

      good, clear statement.

      Perhaps you might condense the first part of your introduction?

    11. Whenever you

      why the shift to "you"?

    12. Major Assignment #1 Draft 1

      Draft 2?

    13. Work Cited Collins, Billy. “Graduation Wisdom.” Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 2 Oct. 2013, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. Accessed 26 Sept. 2019. King Jr., Martin Luther. “Letter From Birmingham Jail.” Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, Aug. 1963, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. Accessed 26 Sept. 2019. Livingston, Donovan. “Lift Off” Donovan Livingston’s Harvard Graduate School of Education Student Speech. YouTube, YouTube, 25 May 2016, www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XGUpKITeJM. Accessed 26 Sept. 2019.

      Pretty good MLA form

    1. Collins 2008

      year not needed her in MLA

    2. his particular commencement address was given at Colorado College in May of 2008. These types of speeches given at graduations are meant to be persuasive and motivating. Collins tries to get the audience’s attention and wants to get them to think. His advice is to live in the present and not focus on the future or dwell on the past. This genre of writing is persuasive. Billy Collins is trying to persuade his audience to think the way he believes.

      not sure what the focus of this paragraph is

    3. Billy Collins is an American poet who gave multiple commencement speeches at different Universities.

      please provide transition and topic sentence

    4. group of soon to be new educators.

      good--please provide evidence from the speech

    5. into a poem

      please draw evidence of poetry from the speech in support

    6. meant to be motivational persuasive.

      belongs in the paragraph focusing on purpose?

    7. Donovan Livingston gave a commencement speech at the Harvard Graduate School of Education in 2016

      Can you provide a transition/topic sentence here?

    8. The purpose of this writing was to defend King’s actions and persuade them that civil activism was not meant to be dangerous and segregation was wrong.

      good, clear focused topic sentence Evidence from the letter would help

    9. e was trying to convince these clergymen that his actions were justified. I

      this goes to purpose--does it belong in a paragraph about genre choice, if that is the focus of this paragraph?

    10. his letter is a famous piece of writing that can be read and used as a learning tool even today. It can teach about the difficult struggle in history during the segregation period.

      not sure how this fits the paragraph's focus on . . . audience? If the focus is on audience please provide evidence from the letter to show how King is mindful of his audience?

    11. Martin Luther King Jr was a civil rights activist in the 1950’s until the 1960’s

      helpful info but could you provide a topic sentence that will focus this paragraph?

    12. Three examples of strong writing come from Martin Luther King Jr, Donovan Livingston, and Billy Collins. Three pieces of work that are notable are “Letter from Birmingham Jail” by Martin Luther King Jr, Donovan Livingston’s Spoken Word Commencement, and the Commencement Address at Colorado College by Billy Collins. Each individual wrote persuasively and tried to convey their message to their audience.

      this paragraph is helpful but I wonder if you "flip" the paragraph so that you begin by defining the terms and then introduce the sources?

    13. Sources:  Billy Collins, Commencement Address at Colorado College Martin Luther King Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail” Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement Address at Harvard “Writing in the Works” Textbook.

      not in MLA format

    1. Donovan Livingston tells his audience that individuality is perfectly fine, in fact it makes the world more diverse and beautiful. This speech has this message of personal liberties and freedoms, that will in the long run just make you a happier person. Because in all honesty, diversity is such a powerful thing and we need to embrace our individuality. He co

      this seems more summary than analysis

    2. In 2016, Donovan Livingston presented as the commencement speaker to the graduates of Harvard and it included a poem call “Lift Off”

      please revise topic sentence to include key terms

    3. “Birmingham is probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States. Its ugly record of police brutality is known in every section of this country. Its unjust treatment of Negroes in the courts is a notorious reality. There have been more unsolved bombings of Negro homes and churches in Birmingham than in any other city in this nation. These are the hard, brutal, and unbelievable facts. On the basis of them, Negro leaders sought to negotiate with the city fathers. But the political leaders consistently refused to engage in good-faith negotiation.” (King Jr.)

      please comment further on what this long passage tells us. that is relevant to your point

    4. His audience included eight white religious leaders of the South that warranted his response to the discrimination and segregation of the African American men and women

      okay--good. Now I would like you to draw evidence from the letter to show how King is mindful of his audience

    5. In August 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. composed Letter from Birmingham Jail.

      please use this opportunity to insert a topic sentence that will focus the paragraph

    6. “I remember being caught speaking Spanish at recess – that was good for three licks on the knuckles with a sharp ruler. I remember being sent to the comer of the classroom for “talking back” to the Anglo teacher when all I was trying to do was tell her how to pronounce my name. “If you want to be American, speak ‘American’. If you don’t like it, go back to Mexico where you belong.” (Anzaldua)

      I'm not sure what these quitted passages are doing here: please integrate within your own commentary

    7. speaks discrimination on the basis of language and identity within the latino/latina community bordering the United States and Mexico. In this autobiographical essay, she tells stories of being a young woman breaking down linguistic and cultural borders to make acceptance the new societal norm.

      please revise topic sentence so that it will include the terms genre, audiences nd purpose and help focus your paragraph

    8. decent,

      spelling

    9. In How to Tame a Wild Tongue, an essay by Gloria Anzaldua she

      edit for comma use: ". . . Tame a Wild Tongue," an essay . . .

    10. Each time we are handed any piece of literature, we are given a story made up of different features. This may include elements like genre, audience, and purpose. Genre provides the reader with an idea about what will happen as they read. It will also provide some sort of background, timeline, and even give into the storyline just on the basis of what the author has chosen the genre of their piece to be. There are many different types of genre including romance, mystery, and even thriller. The audience is the group of people that the author is trying to convey their message to, or in general just the people who they want to reach. The message is specific to the audience and I think genre plays a part in who your audience will be. If you’re writing a fantasy novel, those who enjoy reading fantasy will be more likely to read it. However, if you’re writing a non-fiction piece, your audience will most likely be different. And the list continues, as many people enjoy reading different types of literature. So as I mentioned, genre and even purpose may play a role in who your audience will be, but the message is what exactly and who exactly will make up your “audience”. Purpose is the point you are trying to make, it is one’s way of expression and or presentation of information. This is the author’s way of communicating with their audience.

      I wonder if you can streamline this long opening

    11. The next three pieces of literature How to Tame a Wild Tongue by Gloria Anzaldua, Letter from Birmingham Jail by Martin Luther King Jr., and Donovan Livingston’s Commencement Address at Harvard all portray what it means to include a specific genre that serves a purpose, for an intended audience.

      good, clear, informative sentence.

    12. Did this assignment remind you of any writing that you’ve done previously?  Please describe that work. What was new about this assignment?  Please be precise. What kinds of knowledge/writing skills did you draw on to produce this draft?  Please begin to use some of the key terms that have begun to form the basis of your theory of writing.  For example,  did you draw upon your understanding of audience awareness or genre?  How so? When drafting and revising, what choices did you make? Please explain. What questions do you have for readers about the piece?

      no need to copy unless you answer each question right beneath the question itself

    13. Sources for Study: Martin Luther King Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail” Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement Address at Harvard Gloria Anzaldua, “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”

      not in MLA format

    14. Sources for Study: Billy Collins, Commencement Address at Colorado College Martin Luther King Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail” Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement Address at Harvard Gloria Anzaldua, “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” Required Reading: “The Rhetorical Situation,” Writing in the Works. 2-21 “The Writer’s Process” in Writing in the Works, 22-43 Writers make all kinds of choices and judgements based on what our textbook calls the “rhetorical situation”:  they select a  genre in which to compose, they aim to reach a particular audience, and they write with a particular purpose in mind, among other choices (Blau and Burak 3). For this assignment, you will write a  source-based essay of at least 3-4 pages (750 words), go beyond summarizing to identify and analyze writers’ choices of genre, audience, and purpose, make connections among the concepts of genre, audience, and purpose: how do they relate to one another? from those connections, begin to develop a theory of writing:  in other words, using these concepts, what makes successful writing? document your use of these sources in the Modern Language Association format (see pp. 429-457 in Blau and Burak). You will choose three of the Sources for Study (which represent a variety of genres) listed above, from which you will incorporate evidence to support your ideas about these key concepts and reflect on a possible theory of writing. Elements: Define the key terms audience, genre, and purpose Identify the genre, audience, and purpose of each source Analyze how each author uses genre, achieves a purpose, and reaches an audience Quote from each source to back up your claims Use the concepts of genre, audience, and purpose, begin to develop a theory of writing Cite and list your three sources in MLA format.

      please remove from draft, okay? no need to copy instructions

    1. type of writing or setup the writer sets up for the audience.

      I don't see a post write?

      Note the sentence fragment, by the way

    2. In Gloria’s How to Tame a Wild Tongue her main audience is for people who speak foreign languages. “Who is to say that robbing a people of its language is less violent than war”. (Page. 34) Gloria’s main purpose is to explain that many people get discriminated for the language that they speak and how that language is one’s culture and is special and unique and should never be made fun of.

      as in the previous paragraph, I can't be sure of your focus: you seem to say something about audience and purpose? what about genre?

    3. who speak foreign languages

      please be more precise and accurate

    4. he audience that Martin Luther King is writing to is the “eight white religious leaders of the south”

      good. Now show in the letter how we know that King is mindful of this particular group

    5. In Martin Luther King’s letter to Birmingham Jail goes over a lot of key topics.

      Please provide a clear and purposeful topic sentence

    6. Genre: in literature genre is , music, or movie that is characterized into different categories like, horror, comedy, speeches, poems, short stories, etc.…. For example in Gloria’s How To Tame a Wild Tongue the genre is written as an essay.  Audience: “Audience” is very important in writing because the author needs to consider their audience and who read it. “Audience” is a lot of things, it can be writing style, poem, speech or even a topic like politics. In Donovan Livingston Commencement Address his main “audience” is the graduates of Harvard. In his spoken poem he explains how your voice can change your life, and tells how to keep aiming higher to the stars because everyone can reach great things. Purpose: is the main idea or topic that the writer wants the reader point out. For example in Martin Luther King Jr Letter from Birmingham Jail the main “Purpose” of the letter was for the religious leaders to read about Martin Luther King efforts for peaceful protest and equal civil rights for African Americans.  

      These are useful, if somewhat imprecise, definitions of the terms (remember that purpose is not a topic of writing) but these are not paragraphs per se but rather bulleted lists. I'd like to see an introductory paragraph

    7. Livingston, Donovan. Spoken Word Commencement Address “Lift Off “, Harvard Graduate School of Education, May 26, 2014 Anzaldua, Gloria. How To Tame a Wild Tongue, Borderlands/La Frotera, 1987.   King, Martin Luther, Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” 16 Apr. 1963. Web. 22 Sept. 2012.

      close to MLA. please alphabetize and use web addresses with dates of access

    1. Did you know there’s a poetry competition every year in Barcelona? “Third prize is a rose made of silver, the second prize is a golden rose, and the first prize: a rose. A real rose. The flower itself. Think of that the next time the term “priorities” comes up.” ( Collins p2)

      I'm not sure what this quotation is doing. Please integrate it within your own commentary

    2. helps you

      why the shift to "you"?

    3. enre is a like a topic or brand name it’s how you want to deliver your message

      note that you are merging two sentences here (fused sentence). Please edit for punctuation.

    4. Works Cited Collins, Billy. Commencement Address, Colorado College, 2008. Livingston, Donovan. Spoken Word Commencement Address “Lift Off”, Harvard Graduate School of Education, May 26,2014  2014https://youtu.be/9XGUpKITeJM  Anzaldua, Gloria. How To Tame a Wild Tongue, Borderlands/La Frotera, 1987.

      not quite MLA format

    5. When left to your own devices, you make the choice of genre by analyzing the rhetorical situation. Each of the elements- Genre , purpose, audience, voice,

      please make sure not to hit the return key moving to a new line: the lines are hard to read! Fromatting is a problem

    1. That brings me to my conclusion about these wonderful writers. All of there pieces were powerful in there own way. How about Martin Luther King’s letter and how he was fighting for the rights for blacks in Birmingham Alabama, or how Donavan Livingston was fighting for education in the school system, and finally how Billy Collins tells you wait a minute slow down and don’t forget about your goals life’s to short.

      Can you describe your Theory of Writing using the three terms?

    2. So that makes me think of another great commencement speaker whos name is Billy Collins

      revise topic sentence and transition?

    3. He gave a great commencement speech/poem called “Lift Off” and what it felt like to be an African American at Harvard. Donovan Livingston gave one of the most memorable commencement speeches in 2016 to the Harvard graduate school of education and to try to inspire the class of 2016 to use their roles as future educators to help other students realize their full potential.

      you have a lot going on in this sentence. Can you begin with a clearer topic sentence and begin to use your key terms to help focus your analysis? And you will need to quote in support of that analysis, right?

    4. Frustrated and wanting everyone to have equal rights and because of his situation, he states “Beyond this, I am in Birmingham because injustice is here” (King 1), and you can see in this quote that he was fed up with the south. Down south had a lot of racism at the time. During this era, the black community were being treated horribly and needed to stand up for themselves “There have been more unsolved bombings of Negro homes and churches in Birmingham than in any other city in this nation. These are the hard, brutal, and unbelievable facts. On the basis of them, Negro leaders sought to negotiate with the city fathers. But the political leaders consistently refused to engage in good-faith negotiation”(King 1). They clearly weren’t getting the results they needed and as humble as Martin Luther King was, he and the civil rights movement had to stand up for their rights.

      you seem to have lost your focus and are summarizing, no?

    5. community were

      was being

    6. you can

      why the shift to "you"/

    7. Martin Luther King was an American Baptist minister and activist who led the civil rights movement in 1955 until he was assassinated in 1968.

      This is useful information but I believe your topic sentence should be more focused on your analysis of the source, right? you need to insert the three terms into this topic sentence,

    8. there writing.

      their

      Can you be more precise? You will be analyzing how each writer demonstrates an understanding genre, audience, and purpose

    9. there specific

      their

    10. tion which is genre, audience and purpose, and talking about three different writers that are my sources of study they are Martin

      please edit for punctuation: I see missing comma and missing period

    11. Assignmet

      typo

    12. Source: © 1963, Martin Luther King, Jr. All rights reserved. The Atlantic Monthly; August 1963; The Negro Is Your Brother; Volume 212, No. 2; pages 78 – 88. Source: https://singjupost.com/full-transcript-donovan-livingstons-harvard-graduate-school-of-education-student-speech/ Source: http://www2.coloradocollege.edu/commencement/BillyCollins.asp Posted on: 10/02/13

      not in MLA format

    13. Hariot Tubman was and added another quote to describe what Donavan

      please edit for spelling

    1. Livingston’s,

      Livingston

    2. Sources:

      Works Cited

      pretty good MLA form

    3. In conclusion, I explained the audience, genre and purpose in three sources of writing and explained how important these contexts are and how they relate to their audiences.

      can you make this into a statement rather than a question?

    4. The audience that she is reaching out to is other Spanish speakers.

      can you be more precise? Chicanos?

    5. passage is a lecture

      you mean memoir? autobiography?

    6. carpe diem

      place words in quotation marks?

    7. He begins to read a poem of his own about gratitude in his speech

      at the end?

    8. a speech

      commencement speech?

    9. Next, I am going to be talking about another Commencement Address by Billy Collins

      can you revise this transition to be more informative? adding the key terms?

    10. I stand here, a manifestation of love and pain, with veins pumping revolution”(Livingston). This is an example of poetry in his speech because he uses a metapho

      good analysis

    11. The purpose of his speech is t

      okay: I see that you are covering each term but might you separate these into paragraphs or work on transitions? The jump seems abrupt to me

    12. your voices

      their students

    13. First, I would like to talk about The Spoken Word Commencement by Donovan Livingston,

      can you revise this topic sentence so that it predicts more clearly what is to follow: that is, put the words "genre, audience, and purpose" in the sentence?

    14. The first is the Spoken word Commencement Address at Harvard by Donovan Livingston, the second one is a Commencement Address at Colorado College by Billy Collins and third, “How to Tame a wild Tongue” by Gloria Anzaldua.

      okay: this is a useful introduction. I suspect that you might be able to streamline the definitions but the paragraph is helpful

    15. you read

      why the shift to "you"?

    1. was suppose to

      was supposed

    2. This is not what a graduation speech typically contains so his work can not be restrained to one category.

      true_--can you give evidence of the poetry?

    3. pushes boundaries with his speech as he uses humor to express his purpose and he does so while only “[speaking] for 13 minutes.

      pur in genre paragraph?

    4. He is fully aware of the expectation that is created by the audience

      good but can you provide evidence from the speech?

    5. he is presenting a graduation speech. Knowing that this work is a graduation speech allows the reader to know what to expect.

      agree: but can you say something about how Collins plays against the genre: shows an awareness of what the genre normally does?

    6. Address is falls

      typo?

    7. his letter was not intended to be read publicly, it

      note use of comma like period

    8. The letter is introduced with King saying “I know you are men of genuine good will and your criticisms are sincerely set forth…” (King 1).  By complimenting them and addressing their positive intentions, King shows his audience that he respects them. T

      excellent observation and use of source

    9. Although knowing the genre of King’s writing is important, it is essential to know who he is writing to.

      I appreciate the effort at transition here

    10. The fact that King had hand written the lengthy, persuasive letter shows his passion and dedication for this topic which engages the reader.

      indeed--good point What other aspects of the letter genre likely influenced King to write in it?

    11. The works “Letter from Birmingham Jail” by Martin Luther King, Billy Collins Commencement Speech, and “Spoken Word Commencement Address” by Donovan Livingston all use genre, audience, and purpose to create an effective piece of writing.

      good, clear end to a helpful introduction

    12. Billy Collins Commencement

      Billy Collins' Commencement

    13. The targeted audience can affect the characteristics of the writing such had word choice, dialect, and tone.

      good point

    14. of literature

      just literature?

    15. element of the story

      of the writing?

    16. for this poem?

      essay?

    17. Sources: Billy Collins, Commencement Address at Colorado College Martin Luther King Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail” Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement Address at Harvard Gloria Anzaldua, “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”

      not in MLA format

    1. Anzaldua, Gloria. “‘How to Tame a Wild Tongue’ by Gloria Anzaldua, English Homework Help.” Best Custom Writing Services | Best Paper Writing Service | My Research Paper Help, October 1, 2019, www.myresearchpaperhelp.com/how-to-tame-a-wild-tongue-by-gloria-anzaldua-english-homework-help/.

      fairly close to MLA but please include title as given and include date of publication and date of access. Double check the url as well

    2. you

      why the shift to "you"?

    3. Livingstons speech

      Livingston's speech

    4. was a speech

      asp a spoken word poem?

    5. The purpose of Anzaldua writing this was to show everyone how unfair she was treated and how she dealt with it.

      evidence?

    6. ased it more towards a variety of men and women of all cultures, nations, and classes

      Can you be more precise and go to the source for evidence?

    7. The genre of this article would be considered an auto biography

      good. Please provide evidence from the source in support

    8. Next, I will be talking

      can you provide a more helpful transition?

    9. address everyon

      can you be more precise? Who exactly? and can you provide evidence in support of his awareness of his audience?

    10. The genre of this speech is a letter

      okay good: can you say more about why he chose this genre before moving on to another topic/term? Slow down, okay?

    11. within his speech

      speech or letter? I'm confused

    12. audience is the people

      is the group of people

    13. Keeping genre, audience, and purpose in mind is a key concept whilst writing

      I really like the clarity and usefulness of this first sentence.

    1. Post Write

      I don't see a list of Works Cited

    2. You

      why the shift to you?

    3. his writing differs from King’s because it’s addressed to people who relate to her, r

      is the focus here on audience? can you be more precise in identifying that audience early on?

    4. Gloria Anzaldua’s approach for a memoir makes the message more engaging because story t

      are you focusing on genre here? it's not clear to me

    5. These two quotes are examples of Rev. Dr. King being aware of his audience

      okay--nice. Want to introduce the idea of audience in your topic sentence?

    6. Throughout the text he decides to refer to the Holy Bible as analogy to support his message and purpose, that a “just law is a manmade code that squares with the moral law, or the law of God

      can you revise this topic sentence so that awareness of audience is emphasized?

    7. King’s purpose in his writing is clear. After being jailed for his public misconduct and inciting violence, he found it necessary to clarify his mission for the people who didn’t quite understand,

      good opening, topic sentence

    8. Paul Brandeish Raushenbush).  

      last name only here but rest in list of Works Cited?

    9. Revamping the genre of an ordinary commencement speech to a spoken word poem engaged the crowd, but also gave Livingston the opportunity to use metaphors that emphasize the power of education and the potential we all have as celestial beings. “We were born to be comets/Darting across space and time —Leaving our mark as we crash into everything… Wake up every child so they know of their celestial potential… Together, we can inspire galaxies of greatness/For generations to come (Livingston, l.58, 75, 80).” These powerful statements are inspiring and can be considered at any age.

      nicely done but note how the rest of the paragraph loses focus, sifting away from genre to message

    10. Livingston testifies his first time truly feeling as though he had potential was in 7th grade when his teacher told him that his energy could be put to good use.

      topic sentence?

    11. This quote represents his awareness for his audience by explaining the influence these graduates will have with their future pupils

      Thank you for this: I appreciate the thoughtful use of source and your relevant comment.

    12. Recalling personal experience helps the audience have a connection to the writer while assisting his purpose of encouraging the graduates to use their platform as educators to eliminate inequality and unrealistic expectations we have for kids. 

      I see what you are trying to do: connect purpose with audience. But I wonder if your focus can be sharper.

    13. His purpose is to inspire these future educators to use their platform as a method of improving the education system and the generations of children that come after us, by reminding us that everyone has a ‘spark.

      is this a transition? Or can it serve as a topic sentence for the next paragraph?

    14. It’s difficult to keep a room of fatigued adults engaged in a speech that is one step in between them and their final stride towards their careers

      I'm not exactly sure what your topic sentence is saying here. Is this paragraph to focus on audience? Genre? I'm not sure. Refocus?

    15. People have a tendency of listening to sad music when they’re feeling down. You’d figure it’s counterproductive, but it ultimately affects the listener positively simply because of the connection the audience makes with the writers of the music. Negative emotions are of course, not the only way to relate to one another. Different genres of writings satisfy a variety of moods. A genre is a specific type of writing that require different rhetoric (Blau, Burak, Writing in the Works), or ways of writing. Music ranges from opera to pop; movies, from comedy to horror; books, from science fiction to mystery. These writings also require different audiences, which are the people the writing is addressed to, to dictate the writer’s reason—or purpose. Whether it be a child’s book or a research paper, being aware of who the writing is addressing, in the end determines a writer’s rhetorical situation; what the genre and purpose will be

      While I like the thoughtfulness of this opening, it strikes me as slowing things down rather than efficiently preparing your reader. I'm not exactly sure what your key point is or your purpose. Why not begin more simply by stating the importance of the key terms and then introducing the sources you will use to analyze?

    16. Blau, Burak, Writing in the Works)

      last names will suffice here, with page number

    17. You’d figure

      why shift to "you"?

    18. Connection: Engaging Your Audience 

      I appreciate the helpful title

    1. Since this concludes everything about key terms and how the writing makes an impact, I suggest future writers include the same skills as mentioned.

      once more I have a hard time seeing your point: revise topic sentence and paragraph?

    2. Whenever I use essential terms such as genre, audience, and purpose, I’ll find out what pieces on any document I can consider as successful writing

      again not sure of your point: please revise topic sentence?

    3. If there’s a connection with these sources regarding perks of writing towards your genre, best priority would be sharing that writing with a group of individuals and getting their opinion. The selection of a genre is to be written as a pretentious speech which became the appropriate format for sending a message or delivering a commencement address. The audiences are entirely different from this, but included, in terms of role and diversity, but they will always take every statement very seriously and listen. Then, it leads to generating a purpose which is nowhere the same, but it is meant to get the reader to understand and agree on the matter that’s stated.  

      Sorry: I really don't know what you are trying to say here? remove?

    4. the Englanders. 

      not sure what this means

    5. engaging an audience

      of future educators?

    6. some inspiration of receiving a good education.

      not sure what the last part of this means: clarify?

    7. When you are writing

      why the shift to "you"?

    8. etter engages many citizens

      it's initial audience: eight white clergymen

    9. hat you can do

      so that they can do great things

    10. I will be finding each genre from every source possible.

      okay: good. This paragraph focuses on genre choice for each writer

    11. but its only purpose of the message is to defend the strategy of nonviolent resistance to racism.

      why shift from genre to purpose, unless you have a reason?

    12. As a threshold, I would like to incorporate all the texts that I’ve chosen to make the essay easier to understand. The best texts of my choice come from three crucial writers who are Billy Collins, Martin Luther King Jr, and Gloria Anzaldua.

      This seems clear as a topic sentence but, to be honest, I'm not sure what the rest of the paragraphs is doing: summarizing? quoting (seems like mixture of yours and authors' words). Why not keep things simple and state, In this paper, I will be analyzing. . . ."

    13. Billy’s

      please use last name or both first and last name for the author

    14. Collins, Billy. “Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliant Witty Commencement Speech Address At Colorado College 2008. Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliant and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 19 May 2008, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm.

      fairly close to MLA form. Remember to alphabetize by author's last name?

    15. Sources:  

      rename Works Cited?