- Feb 2023
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sites.google.com sites.google.com
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At last
the longing tone of "at last" and the drawn-out prolonged vowels contain her intense yearning to find true love, as well the long duration of time she has waited!
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- Mar 2022
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fdmannotates.wixsite.com fdmannotates.wixsite.com
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the distant pain
"distant" here refers to also the pain from the past, not just the pain from beyond the medication
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persisted
the police's persistence shows that the welfare of black people is treated seriously in the present
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Who then
the question of "Who" implies that in the present, justice is delivered to black people and their attackers are rooted out, unlike in the past where anyone could be their assailant (and it would not be addressed)
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Not Kevin
"Not Kevin" is a repeated motif throughout the novel: Kevin is not like the other white people
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shook my head weakly
despite her pain and exhaustion, Dana exerts herself to express her protectiveness of Kevin
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realized that these men were trying to blame Kevin for "hurting" my arm
Kevin, a white man in the present, is now placed in the position of the oppressed, treated and "blame(d)" the way white people used to treat slaves
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"Accident," I heard myself whisper. "It was an accident."
Dana refers to her injury as an accident; an allusion to how Rufus also suffers many "accidents"
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Didn't they think I knew it was gone?
Dana's indignation at being treated like an idiot; defending her intelligence and agency
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Hurt. As though I'd scratched my arm
her indignation at the low word intensity of "hurt" conveys that she considers her injury grievous and traumatic, perhaps even impossible to heal from unlike a "scratch"
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Who hurt you?
in the present, the police are focused on addressing the harm done to a black woman (Dana), contrasting with the past where it is accepted that black women may suffer pain
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I had to struggle to understand
Dana is in a state of complete confusion
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shadows
connoting darkness, suggesting that perhaps the police in the modern day are black people (thus implying equality: the powerless become the enforcers of law)
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I had to convince the police that he did not belong in jail
an inversion of how black people lack liberty in the past in the present, black people have the power to report white people to the police, and white people can be prosecuted
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he came to the hospital and stayed with me so that I would know I hadn't lost him too
Kevin is a loving and devoted husband, a contrast / foil to Rufus: where Rufus takes security from Dana, Kevin restores it to her
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the comfort and security I had not valued
she no longer feels safe, after her experiences in the past
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- Feb 2022
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about a year of my life
literal meaning: she has lost a year spent in the past figuratively: she has lost a year of her life due to stress and fear
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My left arm.
implying that Dana will now never be complete or whole again; half of her remains in the past
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I lost an arm
implying a grievous and serious loss and injury
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last trip home
Dana is going between the past and present; it is unclear whether she is referring to the past or present as "home", suggesting she is equally familiar with both
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convince the police that he did not belong in jail
the inversion of power: in the present, Dana has the power to place a white man in jail
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so that I would know I hadn't lost him too
indicating the fragility of their relationship, yet the love between them
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comfort and security I had not valued until it was gone
her time in the past has permanently scarred her
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a year of my life
both literally (in the past for a long time) and figuratively (the stress / fear)
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left arm.
suggesting the severity of the loss - half of her is stuck in the past
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my last trip home
Dana has travelled to both the past and present - which is the "home" she refers to here? Could be either past or present, indicating she is torn between both
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- Nov 2021
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y is inclin
test
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- Sep 2021
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There was nothing more to say.
Conor is filled with grief at the finality of his mother's death
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“I wish I had a hundred years,” she said, very quietly. “A hundred years I could give to you.”
the hyperbole of "hundred years" conveys the mother's deep and lasting love for Conor, as she wishes to spend an entire lifetime with her beloved son
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administered painkillers so strong she was never able to stay awake after she took them
tells us that the pain Conor's mother feels is so intense that the painkillers knock her out
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bent in two, like he was being torn right through his middle.
Conor feels agony at his mother's impending demise
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ou feel bad for being so angry, if you feel bad for being so angry at me that you couldn’t even speak to me,
she understands Conor's feelings and forgives him for all of them
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“You be as angry as you need to be,” she said. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Not your grandma, not your dad, no one. And if you need to break things, then by God, you break them good and hard.”
his mother tells him to express his feelings freely, showing that she loves Conor and wants the best for him
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so weak, so weak
repetition of "so weak" conveys Conor's increasing fear at how her strength is draining away
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pretty angry, too
conveys her resentment at not being able to stay longer with her son
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It’s okay that you’re angry, sweetheart,” she said. “It really, really is.
she allows and encourages Conor to express his feelings, even if they are unkind to her, showing her deep love for him
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It’s probably what’s kept me here so long, Conor. Believing it so you would
Conor's mother makes it clear that she has stayed alive all this while ("kept me here so long") simply out of love for Conor
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“You lied,” Conor said, looking back up at her. “You’ve been lying this whole time.”
Conor feels betrayed and hurt, still wanting to believe that things will get better
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even though she kept up her smile
she tries to smile to comfort Conor, despite her deep grief, conveying her love for him
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“I’ve never been more sorry about anything in my life.”
Conor's mother deeply regrets her early death and feels guilty about leaving Conor early
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“There aren’t any more treatments.”
Conor is forced to accept the finality of his mother's death
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Conor frowned. “How can it not be working?”
Conor refuses to accept that his mother may not recover
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deep breath to speak, which set her off into a terrible, heavy-sounding coughing fit.
Conor's mother is struggling to speak, which also conveys the tremendous sacrifice she makes to communicate her feelings to Conor
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He knew he was asking a question. He knew she knew it, too.
Conor feels a sense of tension and fear, worried about what may happen
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both turned to look at Conor
sense of suspense and worry for what may happen to Conor
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“Lily–” he started to say,
Conor reaches out to Lily to mend their friendship
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had to swallow before he could speak
Conor is so touched that he feels like crying, and thus cannot speak
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She saw him, really saw him
Conor begins to trust that Lily really does care for him and value him
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Looked him right in the eye.
Lily is honest and courageous with Conor
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she was blushing furiously
the imagery of "blushing furiously" tells us Lily feels shy and embarrassed, because the note reveals her deep personal feelings
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read it again. And again.
Conor reads it "again" because he is in disbelief, but also deeply moved
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I underlined about a hundred times
Lily emphasises repeatedly she cherishes Conor, emphasising that regardless of how others treat him, she will always "see" him and care for him - suggests Lily is a loyal friend
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I see you
Lily understands that Conor feels invisible - shows how well she knows him.
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Are you okay?
Lily expresses concern for Conor's wellbeing
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miss being your friend
the tone is lonely and sad; implies that Lily dearly cherishes Conor and wishes to be close to him again
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I’m sorry for telling everyone about your mum, read the first line.
Lily has accepted her mistake - her first act is to apologise for hurting Conor, suggesting that she has matured enough to accept responsibility
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and the world went quiet
"quiet" implies that Conor is solely focusing on Lily's note to him, conveying how touched he is by the letter.
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folded what seemed like a couple of hundred times
Lily put in effort into folding the note, showing her sincerity and affection for Conor
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Conor reached across the aisle and took the note
Conor accepts her effort - a change from earlier on when he rejected her
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“Take it,” she whispered out of the side of her mouth
Lily repeatedly tries to reach out to Conor - moving that she tries to re-establish their friendship
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for Conor.
emphasising that it is uniquely a gift for Conor, intended for him alone, thus making him feel special and valued
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where she’d sat throughout all the years they’d been in school together
sense of familiarity with Lily's position in class; the physical nearness and familiarity emphasise how close they usually were and thus, how far apart they now are
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this time more insistent.
Lily is determined in trying to reach out to Conor and hence keeps trying!
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Making fun of him no doubt. Look at Conor O’Malley, just sitting there like a lump. What a freak.
Conor expects mockery now; he has become pessimistic and hopeless, expecting others to mistreat him
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everyone who had a life, anyway
Conor feels isolated; unlike others who have "a life", he is alone and feeling depressed / insignificant
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