76 Matching Annotations
  1. Oct 2019
    1. I walked passed the dining room table and sitting there were menorah candles for Hanukkah. My blood began to boil, the dirty jews were somewhere hiding inside the house. I continued up the stairs, each one creaked with every step I took. I had walked passed a series of bedrooms, all of which seemed to be empty. When finally I reached the end of the hallway where the bathroom was, I had seen the shower curtain move. As I moved closer I heard a gasp from the bathtub. I opened the curtain to find two small girls holding hands with a young boy just a little older than them. I immediately shut the curtain, I did not have the heart to bring them downstairs. I walked out of the bathroom and a comrade had just reached the bathroom door. He asked me what I had found in the tub that made me shut the curtain so quick. Before I knew it he walked passed and flung open the curtain. He grabbed the two little girls by the collars of their sweaters and demanded that I grab the boy too. I followed him downstairs, and outside to the backyard of the house. He had told the commander I planned on leaving the children upstairs. The commander told me that I was an embarrassment, and insisted that I must shoot the children. I knew that if I denied his order, then it would be me instead of them. So I did it, and at that moment I could not believe what I had done.

      I found it extremely difficult to write this. I tried to leave hints that it was a Jewish household, but wasn't sure exactly how to do so. I found it hard to try and find a reason to make him change. What better way to put two little girls, similar to his own young sisters, and a small boy maybe himself.

    2. Claiming all of the great things he will do for our country as the Führer, and how much better off we will be when we don’t have to worry about any minorities. No more handicapped ruining our genetics, no more gypsies stealing our land, no more homosexuals ruining society, and especially no more Jews taking our jobs. “A new Germany is underway, and you German boys will be the bright future of our prosperous Germany.” I liked the idea of the new Germany through the eyes of our new leader, the idea that one day we would again be prosperous, maybe in my lifetime.

      I believe this small anecdote from schools shows how outside influences admire hate. He did not hear this at home, rather in school from a professor. I added in the groups that were targeted by the nazis to increase historic accuracy, and the amount of hate in their hearts. https://www.socialstudies.org/sites/default/files/publications/se/5906/590606.html

    3. The parade was like nothing I had ever experienced before, it seemed as if all of Germany was united ready to fight and give what it takes to achieve Volksgemeinschaft. A community where everyone would be permanently prepared for war and that everyone would unwillingly accept the discipline that this required.

      I decided to add in the word volksgemeinschaft, because this was the ideal world for what Hitler wanted to create. Attempting to unify all of Germany with one common purpose, making Germany great again. https://www.britannica.com/topic/fascism/Volksgemeinschaft#ref742146

    4. I too was born into the protestant neighborhood of Oberammergau in the south of Germany

      Rural areas of Germany were specifically targeted for propaganda, they were the people who needed someone to believe in, in order to have a bright future. Targeting the protestant farmers because they were already semi-unified along side the party. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/central-european-history/article/nazi-partys-rural-propaganda-before-1928/B34317139B35A3B365298F38D67C403A

    5. protestant farmers living in our small neighborhood in Oberammergau, Germany.

      the south of Germany in the 1930's was a prime location for protestant farmers to live and make a living from farming. The Nazi's had focused most of their propaganda towards the working class, in hopes they too would be fired up for a better future. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/central-european-history/article/nazi-partys-rural-propaganda-before-1928/B34317139B35A3B365298F38D67C403A www.gsi.uni-muenchen.de/lehreinheiten/le_policy_analysis/dokumente/agricultural_structure.pdf.

    6. he Nazi state had appointed a state commissioner to oversee the Churches throughout Germany. This specific state commissioner tried to seize control of these two Churches to further eliminate threats to the Nazi party. However, our strong-headed bishops had refused. They said that they would stay in control of their Churches, and would not let anyone remove their power. The two bishops were then put under house arrest, not allowing them to leave their homes. My father Louis, along with many members of our congregation, and members of our community were all apart of the Bavarian Farmers' Party at the time, which was a political party of about 90,000 member farmers throughout Bavaria that supported the uprise of equality for the working class, and better working conditions for farmers. The Bavarian Farmers’ Party marched in Munich outside of the bishops home demanding to the Nazi state commissioner of Bavaria: “If you do not free our bishop, all of our members are going to leave the Nazi Party.” And that made the state back down, and our bishops were released. The church had regained control, however radical extremes were just underway.

      I used the Bavarian Farmer's party and the small anecdote about the bishop to make my story more accurate and specific. Giving his father the important role of leading his sons idealisms. https://www.facinghistory.org/resource-library/video/confessing-church-early-german-protestant-responses-national-socialism

    1. My final photograph reached me, very early on, I thought of how to represent the connection between place and mind. Barthes said “In this glum desert, suddenly a specific photograph reaches me; it animates me, and I animate it.” (20) I am outside my house looking into my room, showing just how simple my room is compared to how I think of it. Looking inside my house I see how boring my room really looks like. B

      i feel this is a very interesting conclusion, it makes me continue to think about who you ar. your connection to barthe is spot on

    2. ge. Barthes wrote “Very often the Punctum is a "detail," i.e., a partial object. Hence, to give examples of punctum is, in a certain fashion, to give myself” (43) The computer is the punctum of the photograph, or the main focus I am trying to show. Be

      i really enjoy your specific example of punctum, and how it specifically effects your piece

    3. the dark to signify my amount of knowledge about the outside world, be it people or my education

      i really like your symbolism throughout your piece. your photos are very nice and deep representations of what you want to portray

    4. arance. I angled the photo to make it look awkward to the viewer like how it looks to me. Roland Barthes’ Camera Lucida manifests the meaning of a photograph, showing us the punctum and stadium. Barthes wrote “ Ultimately, Photography is subversive nor when it frightens, rebels, or even stigmatizes,

      i love your connection to rolande barthe, really pulls the piece together. maybe give a quick sentence to describe who he is and why he wrote the piece

    5. tering a new school made me want to stay inside, and to not want to leave my safe space. My first image is taken from the inside looking out, I look outside whenever I am bored. I see

      i like how you describe why you choose this specific angle to take the photo, to represent the feelings you used to have

    6. I never cared to be at my house because all of my friends never wanted to be there. My parents and brother are cigarette smokers and my house has always been labeled as such

      interesting anecdote, made me feel for you, and relate where you are coming from.

    7. ooking for a familiar place to photograph is like trying to find something you lost, you know where it is but dont. These locations you pass though a thousand times but have you ever stopped to think about them? You get a whiff of a familiar scent or see something that shows you where you are. The location of this photograph may show how you were raised or where.

      interesting intro, i like how you proposed a question forcing me to think as well and connect to you

    1. Often Rj will wear a mask to the public but once you can get a glimpse of him in his natural setting, he can become one of the most laid-back people in the room

      i enjoy how you explain how hes different around other peope

    2. “The mind is a powerful tool. In both instances you have to be able to think for yourself and what the other person is thinking of”.

      i really like this quote and how it connects, however who said it?

    3. Rj is more than just your average printing press worker

      this should be the opening sentence of the paragraph, then you should go on to what a typical press worker is like, and then continue to how he is superior

    4. being 14 hours on the road heading to Florida, five people jammed into a Toyota Corolla, and Rj denying his shift to drive.

      restructure your sentence.. It was nothing short of exaughsting.. maybe it was the fourteen hour drive, 5 people jammed in the car, or rj refusing to take his turn driving. just a little confusing to read

  2. Sep 2019
    1. My mom has always been there for us, she has helped me a lot in the past, and even though we don't always get along, I love her. She always loves taking us out and going to events and that's when I feel we have the most fun."

      maybe make this a paragraph. go into your moms personality, passions, describe what she looks like, who she really is

    2. She always had a lot that she had to handle but that’s one of my moms best abilities, she can move on with her life and try to do her best even when her environment around her is crazy or hostile.

      it always nice to change the cycle, its a hard thing to do. good for her

    3. Helping people always seemed to be my mom's calling, and as she grew up and went to college she noticed how good she was at this profession and with some motivation from teachers and others in her life she decided to pursue this career. This career that she has chosen makes my mom "feel good, and it truly does make me feel like I have made a difference."

      this is a really good two sentences. However, you put the same thing in different wrods at the beginning it was a bit repetitive. maybe put this instead

    4. I became the person that always brought everyone together and as everybody evolved, and went to school or went away I was the one who brought everyone together and I remained a balance in my family.

      maybe give a little anecdote, like she has everyne over for xmas or easter or new years, give an example

    5. Which fits in very well in my life, I think even as a kid the role that I played in my family was that I was the mediator for everything, so if there was ever a problem in my family I always tried to fix that.

      this is very interesting, it makes me able to relate to her, and knoow how hard her job is, and how nice she is for working so hard

    1. ne of Mike’s pet peeves is getting interrupted, which of course is really frustrating. Another pet peeve is when he asks someone a question and they go “huh?” and then not even a second later they answer his question. Funny thing is, he’s guilty of doing that.

      ironic, i do the same thing. I dont like some of the things that other people do, yet i do them myself unconsciously

    2. He can only play the different stringed instruments like the bass guitar, acoustic guitar, and the ukulele. He also sings.

      little tip, dont say only i feel like it puts a limit on his abilities as an artisit

    3. just to be there as a shoulder to cry on. He is also a pretty funny guy. There are a lot of “dad jokes” told when you’re around him or some puns. Most of the time the jokes are so dumb or pointless that they become hilarious.

      says alot about him, allows me to infer he's very funny and bubbly.

    4. Michael Ryan is a 19 year old that lives in Palos Hills, Illinois. I met Mike about 4 years ago, but we didn’t get close until roughly a year ago. We met through one of my best friends named Lorelei. Ever since then, we’ve gotten a lot closer as friends but I never got to get to know him that well until this interview. It was a really nice experience to just relax in the car and talk.

      cute intro, I like how you include how you met him, and then gradually became friends.

    1. His mom is a wonderful person who fully supports David’s weird but fancy fashion sense, besides telling many stories about the outfits she’s made him shirts such as the one that says “All My Pants Are Fancy. Some are sassy, too” and she also bought him a full kilt set in Scotland.

      says alot about his relationship with his mother. its always nice to have someone especially a mother who supports you in everything you do

    2. The place was Hostel called the Generator. The Generator was hell on Earth for him for several reasons. First, off the time they stayed there happened to coincide with the hottest days in London for 20 years and the Generator had no air conditioning and since warm air rises and his room was on the 3rd floor so he was overheating along with his roommates. Secondly, his room was too small for the number of people in his room, with the three beds and the three suitcases there was no room to walk. Third, the room stunk as it does when there are three teen boys sharing a room. Fourthly the Generator had an open bar until 3 am so random drunks would be walking the halls so going the communal bathrooms at night was always risky. Fifthly he once got locked out of his room in nothing but a towel for 10 minutes since he forgot his key-card when he went to shower

      this small anecdote allows me to know a little more about him. very interesting

    3. Mary Poppins, Les Miserables and You Can’t Take It With You are just a few examples of shows he’s been in. I

      i like the examples of what he likes, however because they are titles of great works of art, they should be underlined or italicized, not sure which but google can help

    4. a “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” character.

      i hope everyone else reading this gets the reference, very funny comparison of the way he dresses. good for imagery, it allows me to imagine him.

    5. hen you meet David what should you think of first? Dungeons and Dragons? An amazing actor with a great singing voice? A positive attitude? A fashion sense with no equal? You should think about all of these things and more.

      I believe this is a very strong opening, very interesting on how you opened up with the things that he is

    1. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday because I loved the costumes and decorations. My mom when I was little always called herself the wicked witch of the west and inspired in me the love of fictional things. Also because of this love for Halloween I love scary things as well as other unusual things, for example I think the number 13 is lucky and I wanted a black cat as a pet.

      i also love halloween adn everything fall due to my mom as well.

    2. Anyone can pretend to be something they aren’t in a photo.

      very good point, but expand go further into explanation, then continue to prove how you are different.

    1. I am a bunch of broken pieces that were glued back together using some Elmer’s glue. Once the glue dried up it turned clear. Then I used some paint and colored myself so that I don’t look broken anymore. I am constantly in hiding.

      this is a beautiful metaphor

    2. I’ll try to text people with whatever problem I have and sometimes they’ll attempt to help me. Some of them take hours to reply to each text. Some of them give me replies like “damn”, “oh i’m sorry”, and my favorite, “oh shit” because usually my problems reach that level of “what the hell do I reply to this?”. Some of them use the classic one liner: “well it could be worse”

      honestly, if you ever have any problems, big or small, no matter what, I know you dont know me well. but you can always text me, and ill try to help as best as my abilities allow me to.

    3. I am unlovingly loved by others. Weird right? Here’s my best way of explaining it. I am always there for everyone. It doesn’t matter if I’m working, if I’m in a class, or if I’m doing whatever else. It doesn’t matter how big or small their problem is. I will do my absolute best to be there for whoever texts or calls me saying they need me. I always reply as quick as I possibly can because you never know what can happen in a matter of minutes or even seconds. I always make sure that others are taken care of before me. Selflessness

      its very hard to beb so selfless all of the time, and its a good thing to know that you are indeed selfless. It takes alot of self realization to understand such things about yourself, however it is nice to see that you know it, and that you accept it, making it easier on yourself to understand not everyone is as selfless.

    4. Maybe some people will know exactly what I mean when I say those two words.

      good try at making a connection with the reader, in seeing whether or not we can relate/understand

    5. When I am self love, that’s exactly what it is. I am happiness. I am worthy. I am not my past and my trauma

      its very good to hear that you have both sides. obviously not the depressing one, however not many people get the best of both worlds

    6. I am either a depressing anxiety attack or I am self love. Again, no in between. No gray areas.

      I can relate, for me as well there is no between, rather just black or white, never both.

    7. With my niece and nephew, I can be myself, but that still isn’t me. They’re a huge part of my life and the things I do are all for them.

      i can relate, I absolutely love my 6 year old cousin, and would walk to the edge of the earth for her. She does see my goofy, fun, and entertaining side, however obviously this is not all I have to offer, but i believe she is still young to know the real me.

    8. I’m not the same person with different people or with different atmospheres. With my best friend, I can be different versions of the same person. I can be the fun, goofy girl who you can make stupid jokes with or I can be the shoulder to cry on who gives the best advice she can give

      its always a good balance to be both, makes it easier for both you and your friends.

    9. I am my tattoo on my left hip. Sexual and domestic violence ribbons and a semi colon in the middle.

      i believe this is a very strong statement, although it is hard to open up about sensitive topics such as these ones, however i feel opening up just a little will make the piece a million times stronger.

    10. m not an “if no, please explain” question. It should be straightforward, done deal.

      i like the honesty. i too believe that there is no reason to dance around, and that ti would make everything else in the world easier if we just got to the point faster.

    11. . I am in the body of an eighty year old, yet I act like I’m either 10 or 30. In between?

      i can relate, its hard to be still pretty young yet feel so mature, yet at the same time emotions come through and make myself seem 10 as well.

    1. Having money doesn’t make you a bad person, what you do and how you use that money says a little bit about yourself though

      im a very strong believer in this, its how you choose to use it

    2. I have grown. I know now that if I want to be successful I have to be patient.

      I'm very happy to hear that you were able to learn from your mistakes, you can use that same hunger that you have to make money, to pursue your education, for the long run of making better money with some sort of degree or certficate

    3. ‘ Industrial societies turn their citizens into image junkies” Sontag said this on page 24 in her piece “ In Plato’s Cave”. Which if you think about for a moment, it is quite disturbing. The creators of Instagram and Facebook spent years in trying to find the right algorithm in order to keep people in their apps , causing them to pollute their mind with unnecessary ideas

      expand a little more!!

    4. The creators of Instagram and Facebook spent years in trying to find the right algorithm in order to keep people in their apps , causing them to pollute their mind with unnecessary ideas

      this is a very good point. it is very true that the social media industry targets people by making the sites so addicting, i feel you should maybe expand on this a little more, and connect to how people may be addicted to selfies.

    5. The automotive industry is a dying industr

      maybe rephrase, the automotive industry is slowly evaporating, or the automotive industry is slowly becoming less popular. it kind of sounds repetitive using the word industry twice

    6. There are couple of different ways I could go on about what happened to me but the important part is it’s over now

      i enjoy your honesty. i said this before, however not many people would be open to writing about something like this.

    7. Instead of using the extra money I saved for something smart to invest in, I decided to use it to buy materialistic merch, spend it on concerts and throwing parties

      this is very common, many people who are money hungry often times misuse the money they gain from working so hard

    8. On a weekly basis I had a party, sessions, or cook outs with friends and family. At the time I thought I was doing it right and by that I mean living life.

      its always sad because it sounds better than it is in reality.

    9. He didn’t want more for himself which made me feel more hungry for myself.

      i enjoy how honest you are throughout the paragraph, not many people can open up this easily