I added this entire paragraph to the original draft. Also, throughout the first two paragraphs, I added some questions in regards to why this place made me feel the way it does. I added this last paragraph because I wanted the focus of my essay to put forward a voice of confusion and puzzled-ness in regards to the imagination. The thinking behind adding these questions throughout the first two paragraphs was that it would show some of that confusion I was feeling in regards to the imagination, as well as my curiosity to find out more about this topic. The thought process behind adding this completely new final paragraph was that it would show my attempt as to understanding the human imagination, which ultimately, is something that to this day can't be explained or understood by some of the smartest people in the world. In conclusion, I do think that my revisions on this draft change the focus of this short piece to a voice that sounds puzzled and confused, which was exactly what I was feeling at the time of writing my original draft, as well as when I was writing this investigation of the human imagination here in this last paragraph.

This piece originated from a short response titled "Tire Treads", which was a piece in which we were asked to write as a preliminary idea for our Meditation on Place essay. In the original version of this draft, I focused primarily on what this specific spot reminded me of, and how it reminded me of these specific things. I chose to work on this piece further because I remembered that I as wrote this response, I was curious as to how a certain place or object can remind you of certain things and make you feel a certain way. When I was writing this piece before my meditation on place, I remember wanting to investigate the imagination and how it works because I have always found it extremely interesting how the brain can put this extremely vivd images into your head like you are seeing them in front of you when in reality they aren't there at all. Therefore, I decided to revise this draft and shift the focus of this draft from a place's meaning to me personally, to the puzzling aspects as well as the complexity of the human imagination.

I think that my revision of my conclusion was a terrible decision. In my original draft, I at least attempted to try and evoke a new thought. However, in my new conclusion, I shied away from trying to bring forward a new thought in regards to my thoughts after reading Wallace's essay and completing this essay. I think that I made this revision because I got intimidated with the fact that it was recommended that I should expand on this "new thought" that I brought up in my first draft. This caused me to go for a more straightforward and basic conclusion as a safety-net for trying to conclude this essay, rather than going beyond my boundaries and striving for a new thought about this topic.

This section is my completely revised thesis. In my first draft, my thesis leaned towards the typical five paragraph structure essay where I said that I would examine and analyze three different aspects of Wallace's writing style that I thought he used effectively to connect with and persuade the reader. Originally, my thesis involved possibly the three most basic and not thought provoking writing styles: ethos, pathos, and logos. My original thesis really didn't capture what the main objective of this essay was about. So, I made this major revision of my thesis to more accurately put forward the message that I wanted to push for with this essay. I believe that my revision of my thesis was an important step towards hitting on the right points in regards to the general point of this essay, but I also do think that this thesis still doesn't strike on the right points that I should've been trying to aim at in this essay.

In my rough draft, this paragraph didn't have really any reaction or how/why response to DFW's quote that I mentioned previously in this paragraph. Consequently, I decided to add some more of my response to this paragraph in this section, as well as some more how/why aspects in response to my reaction. At the time of this addition and revision to the ending of the paragraph, I thought that my revision added my voice into this paragraph, instead of only really analyzing what Wallace writes in his essay. I do think that I was effective in adding my voice into this paragraph, however, I also now realize that I didn't dive deep enough into what caused this reaction to Wallace's writing.

I decided to add this part in order to bring in an example of people changing their dialects/mannerisms that I have done myself as well as witnessed throughout my high school life and still to this day. In my rough draft, I had no example of people changing their dialects/mannerisms in order to fit in with a different dialect group, so, in an attempt to bring forward an example, this is what I decided to add in. I made this addition because I felt that if I brought in a real life example of this happening in society today, it would help to show my response to DFW's passage, as well as get into the how/why Wallace's passage made me feel this way. In the end, at the time I did think that this was an effective addition because it adds an example from my own life showing how DFW's passage still applies today. However, but when I look back at it, I can see that this addition, although it did add more explanation of my reaction as well as the how/why part of my reaction, I still needed to develop this example more as well as explain it in more in order to fully draw out this example.

In my rough draft, this paragraph didn't exist. In its place was a paragraph that detailed DFW's "passion he showed for the topic", which I ultimately found not relevant whatsoever to what I was trying to argue in this essay. Consequently, I decision I made was to delete the entire paragraph about DWF's passion for the topic and I substituted it with this paragraph, which brings forward the emotional connections that Wallace makes with his readers through this specific example. I made this revision because I thought that my previous paragraph really didn't relate to what the topic of my essay was going for, so I wrote up this whole new paragraph which I though would be an effective and more relevant example from the text of how Wallace connects the readers emotions with his to make the readers feel a specific way. Looking back at this edit, I realize that this paragraph does make more sense and more effectively attempts at providing a stimulus, response, and a how/why explanation, but in the end, I still find that this paragraph really isn't successful in using those three parts effectively. However, I do believe that it was a better attempt at such as compared to the paragraph that was previously there.