So, I am not a Platonist. I think desire is obviously more than just physical, but I don't think desire is always for something "higher" in the sense of truth or the divine.

I don't think desire is rooted in perfect forms. I think people can simply be drawn to particulars. Not necessarily ideals.

This gets at what we were talking about last night, my favorite poem -- "The idea, for example, that each particular erases the luminous clarity of a general idea." I don't think particulars erase things -- particulars are beautiful, they are truer, in my opinion, than these "true forms" which don't exist. There is no perfect blackberry, of which all others are derivative; each blackberry exists uniquely, and from these unique instances, we introduce the term "blackberry" to generalize, not the other way around.

I think that things dissolve when you focus too much on perfect forms. I think that beauty is in the details. I am drawn to you, Aileen, for who you are, not some Platonic ideal of a woman.

I want to know you in every way Aileen, in body and in mind. I think Terrible Things actually does convey this in a more natural and obvious way that subverts the dichotomy that this essay is presenting.

I wanna know what you're thinking How you look after the shower How my hands feel on your skin

How your tears fall when you're crying How my clothes hang on your shoulders How my lips feel on your lips

These are intellectual, physical -- these are simply human. We talk about this -- I want to know the real you.

I think this is stupid. Again, sometimes people just want things. And it's not that deep. I'm not performing every time I want something.

I feel like there's this false dichotomy that's been continuing by now in this piece -- I think that love can be both physical and intellectual, and it is better if it's fulfilled along these different dimensions.

I don't think this is true. As a simple example, think of a hungry person in front of a hamburger. If they desire the burger, I don't think this desire represents a deeper longing for God. Sometimes people just want things.

This is different from how I think, I don't think of different attractions as rungs on a ladder. I think Plato is thinking of love as an end of itself, whereas I tend to think of the relationship, or the life together, as the end in itself -- with love in its different forms forming pillars that support the structure, or roots that allow the tree, which is the relationship, to flourish. And the tree can probably survive only using some of its roots -- e.g. intellectual, or physical -- but it'll be healthier if all of them are supporting it well.

There are loving relationships that fail, which is maybe the reason for me not seeing love as the destination, but as support for something bigger, which is a life shared.

us -- getting drawn to each other without meeting first in person

on the quote below -- I think this is just "sex is better in a loving relationship" -- seems like this should be true, yeah