6 Matching Annotations
  1. May 2020
    1. After she blames those nights on a kind of amnesia, you do research while she mopes around. She feels bad, so bad, she says. There is remorse there, true remorse, and yet sometimes you catch her composing her face into sadness. You google memory loss, sudden onsets of rage and violence. The internet gives you nothing, except one article about how it has been shown that heavy marijuana use ca,;,, theoretically, trigger an onset of schizophre-nia, if one were already genetically prone to it. This is terrifying; you feel deeply for her. You try to p~sent your various theories, but she scoffs at all of them. She hasn't been smoking much pot, she say;s. She doesn't have schiwphrenia. She says it with such disdain you begin to wonder if you'd exaggerated the events of that trip, whether perhaps you are remembering them wrong.

      I think this is really interesting because a lot of the times you'll hear people talk about being so angry that "I snapped and then all I saw was red" or about someone flying into a "blind rage". These statements make it sound as if anger is something uncontrollable. The reaction itself is uncontrollable, but the action one takes is. I found it sad that her partner used this excuse to justify the abuse. I also found it sad that Machado feels bad for HER. Her partner manipulated her into thinking that there was some deeper unknown reason for her abuse and anger when in reality she was just a terrible person with anger issues.

  2. Apr 2020
    1. The house is not essential for domestic abuse, but hell, it helps: a private space where private dramas are enacted behind, as the cliche goes, closed doors; but also windows sealed against the sound, drawn curtains, silent phones. A house is never apolitical. It is conceived, constructed, occupied, and policed by people with power, needs, and fears. Windex is political. So is the incense you burn to _hide the smell of sex, or a fight.

      I thought this was really interesting, and again something I had never really thought of in the context of domestic abuse. Machado makes a great point here that the house is something that aids in domestic abuse because it allows for it to happen behind closed doors. She also points out that the house is used for the benefit of the abuser, they get to control the house and thus the narrative. I understood this in the sense of a perfect happy home in which everything is picture perfect so we assume that the family living in it is too, but that may not always be the case as Machado points out.

    1. The abused woman has certainly been around as long as human beings have been capable of psychological manipulation and interpersonal violence, but as a generally understood concept it-and she-did not exist until about fifty years ago. The conversa~ion about domestic abuse within queer communities is even newer, and even more shadowed. As we consider the forms intimate violence takes today, each new concept-the male victim, the female perpetrator, queer abusers, and the queer abused-reveals itself as another ghost that has always been here, haunting the ruler's house.

      I thought this was an extremely interesting and important point. Speaking honestly, when I hear the term domestic abuse I don't think I have ever thought of it in the context of a same-sex relationship. It certainly does exist, I think it just gets easily dismissed and there's not enough information about it out there. When two women fight it's sometimes called a "cat fight" which diminishes the severity of the situation. I think that's something that also happens in these domestic violence situations with same-sex partners, it gets labeled as something other and is ultimately downplayed. Also something that was mentioned was the male victim, and the female perpetrator. It's relevant to the Junot Diaz book we just read in which this was the case with Miss Lora and Yunior. Some people would not see it that way just because it's been instilled into us that men are always perpetrators and women are always the victims. It prevents victims from speaking out and getting the help that they need. Overall, I do feel that the author is right and that there needs to be more education on these topics, and in turn more support for those who are victims to abuse.

    1. I think what's interesting about this part is that he has all of these excuses for why he did the things that he did. He blames his father, he blames his upbringing, he blames everyone else but himself. At no point does he own up to what he did, he just tries to excuse it. And even when he does try to make up for what he did, it never comes across as sincere. He isn't trying to change to become a better person, he does it to try and feel less guilty about what he did. I think the language that he uses is interesting as well. He says "you try every trick in the book to keep her" it's interesting that he has to "trick" her into being with him because he's a cheater and she probably wouldn't be with him if she knew who he really was.

    1. I thought this was an interesting observation that Yunior made. There's this cycle in his family of treating women a certain way and of viewing them in a certain way. Both Yunior's dad and brother viewed and treated women as sex objects. Yunior had hoped that he'd break the cycle and be a better man than those before him but that didn't happen, and Yunior notes that "the blood always shows". Maybe this is how Yunior justifies his actions, by saying that it's in his genes and that because of this there was never any way to stop the inevitable.

  3. Mar 2020
    1. Had always been a papi chulo, so of course he dove right back into the grip of his old sucias, snuck them down into the basement whether my mother was home or not

      I found it interesting that his use of spanglish has consistently been derogatory towards women but not always for men. I found the use of "papi chulo" interesting because the person that he is talking about, Rafa, isn't someone who is out there doing good things. Rafa was out there fighting people for no reason and sneaking girls into his house. It's interesting that he sees Rafa's actions as positive or something to look up to. It makes me wonder if Yunior justifies his own bad behavior, such as cheating, because bad behavior was something he looked up to growing up.