what really ties the era together
Grade: B
12 Matching Annotations
- Jul 2020
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seems to be only accessible by car.
You make admirable use of forceful argument throughout this assignment, but it does nevertheless feel incomplete. Unfortunately, you haven't responded fully to the prompt, which requires use made of texts other than just the one you chose. With the addition of these, your essay would certainly have reached the required page count.
Nevertheless, the close reading of Martin's article is a strong example of critical engagement, addressing at once the borderline-propagandist salesmanship of his rhetoric, with the occasional contradictions that ought to inspire suspicion in the mind of the reader.
I also appreciate your expansion in the penultimate paragraph to issues outside the article - namely white flight, and competition from other suburban developments - but, without any sources or quotes, it is difficult for these astute observations to appear as much more than speculation. Even the few quotes from Martin's article of which you do make use have no citations which, combined with an absence of title / page numbers / conclusion, but some consistently awkward spelling and phrases, lets you down in the style department.
This is a promising rough draft, indicating a lot of potential I hope your next submission will reach.
C+/B-
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With the creation of the middle class,
Title?
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monotonous chao
"Monotonous chaos" feels like an oxymoron - is this intentional?
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a family would want to happily live the life as McGinley described: one of comfort, stability and value
How does Communism fit into this? Were all families threatened by Communism?
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this want for consistency may have led some families to create everyday rituals
Good assertion! But which rituals?
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in my opinion
This is the fourth time in three pages you have used the phrase "my opinion" - consider varying your phrases, especially given that "in my opinion" doesn't sound particularly confident. If you can provide evidence for your claim, it's more than just your opinion!
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traditional life
Traditional for whom? Returning from what?
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other authors and scholars might agree
Who? Why?
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an attempt at a Utopian society
Does this make them a "very nice place to live," though? Consider the double-meaning of "Utopia".
Also, very nice for whom? For everyone?
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“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow the pattern will be repeated. This is Suburbia.”
good use of quote!
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Her audience tended to be other white Americans who were also living in the suburbs, particularly women
How do you know / how can you tell?
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