Rachel - I really enjoyed reading your site! You did a really great job presenting your ideas and claim about how “Plastic Beach” invites listeners to think about the current state of the environment, causing them to want to act. Your ideas flow together really well as you discuss important musical characteristics of the song and other songs relating to it, visual complexities of the album, and qualities of a virtual band. These ideas all help to support your argument in such a strong way. I found it very interesting to learn about the Gorillaz because I wasn’t really sure what a virtual band was before reading your site, but you did an excellent job at explaining its significance. Additionally, I think you did a really great job at talking towards the reader with descriptive language, really making your site come alive and allowing the reader to interact with what you're saying. You even added an extra playlist which really can immerse the listener into the themes you discuss. You have impressive word choices with alliteration and I liked the theme of juxtaposition to support your argument. I think you have a really strong writing voice and your arguments are made clear. Due to this, I made some general suggestions regarding transitions to present your ideas so that the reader can really have a good grasp on them, and some small changes in strong word choice. Other times, I mentioned ways you might want to elaborate a little more on a strong point I thought you were making. Structurally, I suggested that you could change the order of your last page with the playlist for a final strong conclusion. Also when you list the link to the song lyrics, adding a back button to the previous page would be helpful. Overall, you did a really great job presenting your ideas and combining so many different references and themes together! Great job!

Annalisa - I really enjoyed reading your site and I think you did a wonderful job presenting your position on Aaron Burr’s character! I saw Hamilton on Broadway a few years ago and it was exciting to learn more about the song “Wait For It” and the “antagonist.” Your explanation of humanizing Burr’s character is really strong, connecting elements of the song “Wait For It” to discuss the depth of his character with a broader context about the historical pieces the song and musical combine is really powerful. I really enjoyed learning about the important musical elements of the song that make Burr’s character feel universal, and others can connect to the way he feels through shared life experiences you articulate. I thought it was really cool how you even pulled in references to Hamilton in the media to reveal its major cultural impact on America which gave great insight as to why the musical is so popular. I think you’ve done a really great job structuring your site, starting with a clip of “Wait For It” if readers haven’t heard the song, followed by your introduction of what your site will discuss, a review of the song from Burr’s perspective, a critique on the myths behind the musical, a playlist through the relationship between Hamilton and Burr, and finally popular references to Hamilton. Some general comments I mentioned were rephrasing sentences or elaborating on an idea more to make some points clearer to further develop your argument. For example, sometimes I really understood your points but I felt that more discussion would be helpful for the reader. Other times, I felt that maybe restructuring a sentence or splitting up a paragraph could make your ideas flow more smoothly. Overall, I think you did a great job at connecting your ideas from different sources to develop your argument! Great job!

As I was saying earlier, I think it's important to have some visuals you are talking about so in addition to the song here, I would also add a visualize of the characters you discuss.

This conclusion is great for this page and connects to your overall argument, but I agree and feel that the order change might be beneficial - though you have many great points on this page, the playlist and listening guide connects so many different ideas throughout your site.

Maybe this can be placed into segment 2 as you speak about the characters there, especially since this segment is a little longer?

On one page, you mentioned how the mastermind came up with the idea for "Plastic Beach." Do you know what prompted him to make these characters? I think this would be interesting to talk about here, since this is really the first time you fully discuss the roles of these characters.

It's cool how you are using sounds other than just the song to really display the themes to the listener!

I'm curious as to how this page will look in terms of visuals, will you include just a link to your podcast here with images and sounds in the video, or will you include more of these things throughout the page? I think the page could definitely benefit if you included some of the visual images you talk about such as the album cover embedded in the page rather than just having a link to a podcast, but I'm not sure what you have planned.

This will definitely connect to your overall argument throughout your site, I'm excited to read more!

Are you going to include images of what your are describing as well since you are talking about visuals, or just playing the lyrics? I think it's important to show a visual, maybe as you start this segment so the listeners can hear what your saying while simultaneously looking at the image you describe.

This is a great reminder for the structure of your playlist, and ties any last thoughts about why you have ordered them in the way you did. Great job!

I'm not sure if every reader will feel this way, maybe you could use a more neutral phrasing here? Or adding in a word that is more hypothetical?

I like how you directly compare each song to the "Plastic Beach" on the playlist. It really emphasizes your argument about the song and how there are so many other songs that can relate to it.

It's great how you mention the themes before explaining them further when talking about each song individually. It helps to keep these themes organized in the reader's mind while reading, and states clearly what ideas you will be discussing.

I'm a little confused as to why this song is placed here if it was so similar to the juxtaposition in "Plastic Beach" Maybe providing further differences in these songs would be helpful for the reader's understanding as to why you've placed the song in this order?

This is really cool how you have included your own separate playlist and gives the reader even more insight about your song's topic.

I really like how you continued your descriptive wording at the end of the playlist as you do in the introduction. This idea of mentioning the reader's actions is really interesting since they are most likely encountering these things.

I like how you tell the reader to "pay attention" and "listen" or "notice" things in the songs on your playlist and you have the YouTube link to the song right after. It makes it really accessible and the act of going through this page come to life.

This paragraph is mostly made up of Albarn's words, I think you would benefit as an author by elaborating more on his thoughts to establish more credibility.

Great example for how the song's story came about. It's important for reader's to gain insight about the artist's ideas behind their music.

I agree with the other comment that this paragraph alone feels out of place, but I think you could instead elaborate on these ideas more than trying to combine in into the last paragraph since these ideas seem different.

I like how you connected the lyrics back to your overall argument throughout your site. It makes sure the readers connect all of your wonderful ideas together.

Great example to back up what you are saying instead of the reader searching for these lines on their own.

I really like your descriptive word choice here - it really reflects the calm elements of the song. Well done!

I like how you include these lyrics and make it easily accessible for the reader to reference, but structurally in terms of Scalar I don't think the reader can directly navigate back to this page after clicking on the lyric page. You might want to adjust this and have an option for readers to navigate back to this page to continue reading.

Nice title - like how you used alliteration once again as you mentioned it on the previous page and I feel it contributes to the idea of "songfulness" you were talking about.

I think adding in a few hyperlinks here of where you see contrasting vocal performances in different songs would be really cool and helpful for the reader so they could hear these variations!

I thought it was interesting to how you quoted the word songfulness other times throughout the page and not here - it feels right that you did it this way because this sentence is more of your position and quoting something would feel off.

Great concluding sentence and mentioning how the author's framework could be applied to other albums as well is really important for the reader's takeaway of this critique.

Does the fictional narrative only affect political potential? Or other aspects as well, such as the other messages you present at the beginning of the page and in the next sentence...I wonder if you could categorize these ideas into a broader phrase rather than "political potential."

It's great that you have a critique for the way the author presents his argument. Would you want to include some of the templates we looked at in class to your critique section. For example: Though I concede that....I still insist that..... Of course you can put these sentence templates into your own words, but some of these statements could make your position stronger.

This is a really great connection, you've pointed out the evidence that the author provides and connected it to your overall argument throughout your site.

Is it important to include this person's name? If so, would you like to provide a brief description about them? We can assume they have a position in literary theory, but I think it would be beneficial to explicitly tell the reader this.

I like how you gave background in the last to paragraphs to explain some of these topics and then later tell the reader explicitly what the main concepts are.

This is a great addition - I like how you mentioned it feels "nostalgic" because it really reflects the time before many environmental issues. Even if some people weren't alive in the 1980s, they have a sense that environmental issues are more prominent today and in the time of when the Plastic Beach album was created.

This is great. I really like how you explain the purpose of the project to the readers - it is very clear and stating it both now and in the conclusion paragraph will help the reader to remember it.

Great connection to the previous paragraph's theme of juxtaposition and why it makes the song so compelling.

I like how you make it clear that your project is different from others - it makes the reader more likely to want to read what you have to say.

Cool title - I can see how it will relate to the other "environmentally conscious songs" and I'm excited to read your playlist.

Nice use of alliteration here...it lingers in my mind as well :).

I really like the two ideas you are talking about here, but I feel like they are quite different and some sort of transition sentence would be beneficial.

I like how you explain to the reader the impact that Gorillaz has as a virtual band because I wasn't sure what this type of band was when you stated it in the introduction. This is a great connection to the overall argument you are making. However, you might want to consider adding some of this description or a definition of the virtual band the first time you mention it as readers don't encounter its meaning until several paragraphs later.

I like how you this term because it sort of leaves something for the readers to wonder about what makes the song "creative" and as they continue to read your site, they learn more about the qualities that contribute to its creativeness.

You make it clear how this position relates to the main argument you are going to make throughout your site. I think discussing the themes of the song is a great way to humanize Burr's character...I'm excited to read your review!

This sounds a little repetitive to me, I'm wondering how the sentence would make sense if you took these words out altogether?

I really like your phrasing here - it shows how impactful the song is for different people!

I like how you circled back to what you said at the beginning of the introduction about the human experience and humanizing Burr's character. It makes your argument clear to the reader which is really important!

This sentence is great in setting up what you will be discussing in "Hamilton in the Media." However, I wonder if you could elaborate more on why Hamilton is such such as well-loved topic.

Also going off of what Nic said here, if you want to make it personal to your reflection of Burr's life, I think it would be interesting to add your own personal spin on your connection to the song/his character. If not, that's okay too and maybe just use a different word instead or take the word "personal" out altogether :)

I attempted something similar in my playlist, by making the playlist through the eyes of the main character who sings the song I chose, so I'm excited to read yours! As Nic states at the end of this paragraph, I wonder if you could add more to the argument of the playlist to connect the other really good things you are saying here, and maybe start off with that argument at the beginning of this paragraph.

I think it would be cool if you added in more of your connection to the song throughout this page, or even the musical itself. Possibly adding more of your thoughts after this sentence or even creating a section devoted to your personal experience of seeing the musical, or your own encounters of people using "Hamilton dialogue?" If you don't have any other connections, I still like how you added this sentence.

This quote is a perfect way to sum up the idea that the musical is so universal, and is a nice circular reasoning to what you say at the start about the show always being sold out.

Love this phrasing - you can see this present in the examples you provide.

I noticed your first two pieces of media were shows and the third was a song. Do you want to place this last show closer to the first two and swap it with the song you discuss? This is totally personal preference but I just noticed this difference and if there was another reason why you have it in this order, feel free to leave it that way :).

I think this sentence might be a bit of a run-on. You might want to consider breaking it up for the reader.

Great reference, the quote even incorporates Burr's character to relate to your overall argument throughout your site!

It's really nice how you separated these pieces of media...it keeps the page organized and easy to follow.

Love this personal connection! It makes what you are saying about the musical seem even more universal with your own personal experience.

Great job connecting this song in the playlist to the end of the musical beyond just the song "Wait For It."

I like how you pick out specific lyrics to compare the two songs. It makes it clear as to how Burr's emotions connect to the "Lacy."

This is great how you found a song that relates to Burr's commitment and it totally makes sense that you placed it here in the order of the playlist. It was also a good idea to specifically state this to the reader, good choice!

I like how you defined the term since some readers might not come from a musical background.

I understand that the "progression" relates to Burr's increasing frustration, but I think it would be beneficial to connect these ideas more clearly to the reader.

Do these traits have to do with Burr's increasing frustration? If so, I think it would be beneficial to the reader to explain why.

Why do the differences in pacing and the similarities in vocal performance matter? Can you tell us what effect they have on the relationship between Hamilton and Burr?

I really like how you ask these hypothetical questions to the reader first before stating your own prediction.

This is really nice because I don't think you've discussed their relationship much thus far.

Great title, really connects to your overall argument!

I like how you included these hyperlinks in the text that lead to the lyrics of the song along with YouTube videos of each song in the playlist with the lyrics because it allows the reader to access parts of the song easily.

Great explanation!

I like how you mentioned this to connect back to your overall argument about Burr throughout the site.

I like how you pointed this out because some readers might not understand what an implicit argument means.

Great example to back up your claim at the start of the paragraph!

As I was saying before, I think a way to break up this paragraph would be putting an image of the cast here since you speak about the casting frequently.

I know you mention towards the end of the page that the author sometimes used implicit arguments and didn't always back up her claims with evidence, but did you find any more examples of purposeful decisions of dramatization and musicality? You mention the casting in the following paragraph, but I think if you could find more examples of these choices it would work really well.

This paragraph is really nice I'm just wondering if you would like to split it up into two...readers might get lost a bit as it feels on the longer side.

I looked back to the day we were analyzing each other's critical reading assignments in class and we discussed how you might change these sentences to: "Though I concede that the utilization of several implicit arguments could make it difficult for the reader to follow along, I still insist that Whall strikes a reasonable balance between inserting opinion and evidence to advance her argument." You might want to think about implementing this into your writing - I think this would make your point more clear but if you want to change the wording into your own since it was from a sentence template you can do that too.

Do you need to include this information in a sentence format to get a point across or can you instead do an in-text citation for a more concise sentence?

I think this is a really great conclusion to tie back to your overarching argument throughout your site, making sure it remains in the reader's mind.

It's really cool how you noticed these changes and their purposes. Since you stated all three, who sings "death doesn't discriminate?" And why is it important that Burr sings "love doesn't discriminate" on his own?

I really like this whole paragraph, it is a great explanation of Burr's character by comparing him to Hamilton, and you did a great job at describing how Burr's feelings of doubt can be universal.

I like the example of the echoing effect here, but as stated in my previous comment, you might want to think about connecting the "unpredictability" more clearly to Burrs thoughts.

Are you trying to relate this to the character of Burr and how he took opportunities and risks? Or just talking about the song itself? Maybe it would be beneficial to go into depth and explain a little more here. If you do want to relate this to the character of Burr, make sure to explain his context to the reader as they might not know the historical circumstances.

I think the lyrics you pulled in here are great in explaining Burr's personal life and the emotions he experienced, and this last sentence really ties your ideas together.

I wonder if you could rephrase this part of the sentence to something like: "the song reveals the hardships Burr has endured, specifically through the loss of his parents" because the "through his parents" part gets confusing as Burr didn't endure losses through his parents, but he endured hardships through his loss of them.

I like the description and context you give here instead of just stating the title of the song.

This is a great explanation and sets your position up clearly for the following paragraphs!