This piece came from a one-pager in response to "Habits of the Creative Mind" by Richard Miller and Ann Jurecic. The quote really jumped out at me when I went back and reread the piece after I went into Boston and did some observing, as was asked for the reflection. During my adventure, which involved many stops at MBTA stations, one thing that really caught my eye was the immense amounts of homeless people that crowded the T-stops. To me, this was alarming because it was the middle of February and the air was so crisp and frigid that even I, bundled in my expensive high-quality parka, was shivering. Normally, I keep my head down and continue to pass by these people, however because of this assignment, I felt compelled to actually take a second to notice, even if it made me uncomfortable. Personally, I saw how this helped me as a writer because I realized that when I put myself in a situation where I was curious yet unexperienced with a particular subject, I was forced to pay even closer attention and pick up on the small details.This is what really helped strengthen my piece and future pieces as well.

The way that I started this piece was something that I was a little nervous about doing at first. When I first noticed the homeless man that I introduced, he stuck out to me from the others because he just seemed so vulnerable. Never before had I seen someone look so beaten up and crushed, yet so hopeful about the future as he played his guitar. I really wanted to write down some observations so I would remember the exact words that were going through my head. I also didn't want to make it look like I was only taking notes because he is homeless and I didn't want to make him feel even more self-conscious about this defining characteristic. Originally, I didn't include the description because I thought that it was a sad way to start off a piece and didn't want to make the reader feel like they need to put down the essay because it was too emotional for them. However, I think the description of this man, although a sad way to enter my reflection, draws the reader in to give them a picture of someone that they might normally pass by quickly. The fact that I could put myself out there and start off a piece of writing with a sad moment, and be able to use that raw emotion as the center of my essay, is something that I had not done before this class.

Whenever I get passionate about the topic, I write so in-depth about that one specific thing that I forget to tie it into the bigger picture. Yes, I went to the New England Aquarium and I saw all of the creatures who were stuck in their rubber enclosures and glass tanks. Humans were the ones to out them there, and with their payment to get into the aquarium, humans are also the ones keeping them there. This concept can be applied to a bigger issue, which is how humans treat other humans as well. Throughout the course of human existence, there are many examples of when humans found it okay to take advantage of other humans and take control in order to get what they wanted. During these situations, people fought to give the other humans the right to stand up for themselves. Although there are movements starting to emerge that are really pushing for the abolition of animal cruelty within public settings such as zoos and aquariums, many of these corporations still exist across the world. This isn't because humans don't appreciate animals; it is that we have yet to understand that it ties back into our natural need to own. By mentioning past events in which humans tried to control other humans and tying it into the creation of aquariums, the bigger picture was introduced to the reader. The last paragraph leaves them truly thinking about whether aquariums as an entity are fair to the animals, or just another form of cruel and unusual punishment.

Here, I especially wanted to draw attention to the fact that the action was done by an adult. Much of my essay is centered around the fact that humans consistently show the need to have materialistic possessions to feel fulfilled. We complain that children are quick to thrown temper tantrums when they don't get the newest stuffed animal in the store or need the best set of Mickey Mouse ears when they go to Disney World. Even though adults are quick to judge other parents for giving into their children, children are the ones who learn from their parents on how to handle situations and how to cope with the fact that they will have to deal with things not going their way. Once parents give into their children over these small moments, the cycle continues, and the child could grow up to feel the need to take ownership over more serious objects, such as animals and even people (slavery once was a thing, you know). When people think of the aquarium, they think of children being excited to "look at the fishies." I went back in and included this moment with the adult to show that even in a child-like setting, they contribute to the problem too.

When we first read the short essay "Writing to a Question," I had never been told that an option to end a piece of writing could be to use a question. Why would you ask the reader a question to end your piece if you're not going to describe the answer? Shouldn't that be the opening part of the essay? However, the more I saw examples of it being used and the more that I forced myself to really think about the questions I could ask, the more effective I saw it. Although the author should make the idea of the essay clear, it is always a little more fun for the reader if they have to do some analyzing on their own to really get their brains thinking about the underlying message in the piece. The question at the end accomplishes this by leaving the reader still thinking about the essay even after they're done reading and going back to really address what is being asked of them. The question I asked, "is that how much our own freedom is worth?" brings the reader back to the idea that animals are alive just like we are, and we're both technically animals, so why does it make it okay for us to own them but we can't "own" other humans.

In my first draft, I lacked this description of the stingrays as well as the other animals that I mentioned throughout the piece. In my conclusion, I brought up the fact that I had a good time at the aquarium and enjoyed seeing all of the cute animals. This was the truth. However, from the tone that I had taken throughout much of the piece, it seemed as though I didn't enjoy it because it was sad that all of the creatures were confined in small spaces and weren't able to live their natural lives in the wild. This was also true. I quickly realized that this was the whole point of my essay: humans feel bad for these animals, but then do nothing to change the circumstances because we think they're "cute" and "fun to play with," and that was definitely a point I wanted to make. To ensure that I could get this idea across, I went back and included my initial reactions to the animals and how adorable they were. This got the reader excited and happy, but then was taken away when I followed it with the horrible interactions I witnessed with the humans visiting the aquariums and the animals in the exhibit. This contrast added to my piece by showing how humans need to change this common behavior to make a difference for the animals.

Throughout this year in FWS, a recurring comment made during the various workshops was that the author needs to include more of their own feelings into the pieces of writing. I was no different; when I workshopped this essay, the comments made were that I needed to find ways that really exemplified my feelings towards the subject of animal captivity, especially in aquariums. This is something that I particularly have always struggled with because I never understood the best way to incorporate my own opinion. I especially didn't want to interrupt the creative flow of my piece by bluntly saying "I think..." or "I believe..." At this point in the writing, my tone of voice takes a quick, drastic change from a calm description to a sassy and sarcastic judgement about the actions of humans. Without directly stating "I think that humans are wrong for assuming that they can always have complete control over other animals," I make this stance apparent within my tone, which brings my own opinion into the piece of writing. The change to bring my own thoughts in helped to strengthen my argument and allow the reader to realize that this is a topic that I am passionate about.

Whenever I get passionate about the topic, I write so in-depth about that one specific thing that I forget to tie it into the bigger picture. Yes, I went to the New England Aquarium and I saw all of the creatures who were stuck in their rubber enclosures and glass tanks. Humans were the ones to out them there, and with their payment to get into the aquarium, humans are also the ones keeping them there. This concept can be applied to a bigger issue, which is how humans treat other humans as well. Throughout the course of human existence, there are many examples of when humans found it okay to take advantage of other humans and take control in order to get what they wanted. During these situations, people fought to give the other humans the right to stand up for themselves. Although there are movements starting to emerge that are really pushing for the abolition of animal cruelty within public settings such as zoos and aquariums, many of these corporations still exist across the world. This isn't because humans don't appreciate animals; it is that we have yet to understand that it ties back into our natural need to own. By mentioning past events in which humans tried to control other humans and tying it into the creation of aquariums, the bigger picture was introduced to the reader. The last paragraph leaves them truly thinking about whether aquariums as an entity are fair to the animals, or just another form of cruel and unusual punishment.

Here, I especially wanted to draw attention to the fact that the action was done by an adult. Much of my essay is centered around the fact that humans consistently show the need to have materialistic possessions to feel fulfilled. We complain that children are quick to thrown temper tantrums when they don't get the newest stuffed animal in the store or need the best set of Mickey Mouse ears when they go to Disney World. Even though adults are quick to judge other parents for giving into their children, children are the ones who learn from their parents on how to handle situations and how to cope with the fact that they will have to deal with things not going their way. Once parents give into their children over these small moments, the cycle continues, and the child could grow up to feel the need to take ownership over more serious objects, such as animals and even people (slavery once was a thing, you know). When people think of the aquarium, they think of children being excited to "look at the fishies." I went back in and included this moment with the adult to show that even in a child-like setting, they contribute to the problem too.

When we first read the short essay "Writing to a Question," I had never been told that an option to end a piece of writing could be to use a question. Why would you ask the reader a question to end your piece if you're not going to describe the answer? Shouldn't that be the opening part of the essay? However, the more I saw examples of it being used and the more that I forced myself to really think about the questions I could ask, the more effective I saw it. Although the author should make the idea of the essay clear, it is always a little more fun for the reader if they have to do some analyzing on their own to really get their brains thinking about the underlying message in the piece. The question at the end accomplishes this by leaving the reader still thinking about the essay even after they're done reading and going back to really address what is being asked of them. The question I asked, "is that how much our own freedom is worth?" brings the reader back to the idea that animals are alive just like we are, and we're both technically animals, so why does it make it okay for us to own them but we can't "own" other humans.

In my first draft, I lacked this description of the stingrays as well as the other animals that I mentioned throughout the piece. In my conclusion, I brought up the fact that I had a good time at the aquarium and enjoyed seeing all of the cute animals. This was the truth. However, from the tone that I had taken throughout much of the piece, it seemed as though I didn't enjoy it because it was sad that all of the creatures were confined in small spaces and weren't able to live their natural lives in the wild. This was also true. I quickly realized that this was the whole point of my essay: humans feel bad for these animals, but then do nothing to change the circumstances because we think they're "cute" and "fun to play with," and that was definitely a point I wanted to make. To ensure that I could get this idea across, I went back and included my initial reactions to the animals and how adorable they were. This got the reader excited and happy, but then was taken away when I followed it with the horrible interactions I witnessed with the humans visiting the aquariums and the animals in the exhibit. This contrast added to my piece by showing how humans need to change this common behavior to make a difference for the animals.

Throughout this year in FWS, a recurring comment made during the various workshops was that the author needs to include more of their own feelings into the pieces of writing. I was no different; when I workshopped this essay, the comments made were that I needed to find ways that really exemplified my feelings towards the subject of animal captivity, especially in aquariums. This is something that I particularly have always struggled with because I never understood the best way to incorporate my own opinion. I especially didn't want to interrupt the creative flow of my piece by bluntly saying "I think..." or "I believe..." At this point in the writing, my tone of voice takes a quick, drastic change from a calm description to a sassy and sarcastic judgement about the actions of humans. Without directly stating "I think that humans are wrong for assuming that they can always have complete control over other animals," I make this stance apparent within my tone, which brings my own opinion into the piece of writing. The change to bring my own thoughts in helped to strengthen my argument and allow the reader to realize that this is a topic that I am passionate about.

The way that I started this piece was something that I was a little nervous about doing at first. When I first noticed the homeless man that I introduced, he stuck out to me from the others because he just seemed so vulnerable. Never before had I seen someone look so beaten up and crushed, yet so hopeful about the future as he played his guitar. I really wanted to write down some observations so I would remember the exact words that were going through my head. I also didn't want to make it look like I was only taking notes because he is homeless and I didn't want to make him feel even more self-conscious about this defining characteristic. Originally, I didn't include the description because I thought that it was a sad way to start off a piece and didn't want to make the reader feel like they need to put down the essay because it was too emotional for them. However, I think the description of this man, although a sad way to enter my reflection, draws the reader in to give them a picture of someone that they might normally pass by quickly. The fact that I could put myself out there and start off a piece of writing with a sad moment, and be able to use that raw emotion as the center of my essay, is something that I had not done before this class.

This piece came from a one-pager in response to "Habits of the Creative Mind" by Richard Miller and Ann Jurecic. The quote really jumped out at me when I went back and reread the piece after I went into Boston and did some observing, as was asked for the reflection. During my adventure, which involved many stops at MBTA stations, one thing that really caught my eye was the immense amounts of homeless people that crowded the T-stops. To me, this was alarming because it was the middle of February and the air was so crisp and frigid that even I, bundled in my expensive high-quality parka, was shivering. Normally, I keep my head down and continue to pass by these people, however because of this assignment, I felt compelled to actually take a second to notice, even if it made me uncomfortable. Personally, I saw how this helped me as a writer because I realized that when I put myself in a situation where I was curious yet unexperienced with a particular subject, I was forced to pay even closer attention and pick up on the small details.This is what really helped strengthen my piece and future pieces as well.