Disenfranchised grief is a major cause of substance dependency that is rarely addressed by rehabilitation programs. We do not handle grief and loss in healthy manners. Loss of power, support systems, loss of jobs, of the familiar, of anything we value and have become accustomed causes many persons to spiral into destructive behavior. 15-20% of middle aged alcoholics/drug addicts had their addiction spiral out of control at the loss of a spouse or parent or person of influence. The grief at the loss of anything familiar and of value has the same effect. Disenfranchised grief is a major trigger to destructive behavior.

The author seems to pose this questions as a dichotomy between religion and spirituality. The problem is that the PEOPLE of religion seem to fall back on denominational and doctrinal differences that are used to elevate their own status and by definition, suppress other beliefs.<br> Our inability to remain teachable and open and listening to anything outside of our silo of doctrine has kept us unable to connect with anyone beyond a very narrow boundary of persons. In our bible the Greek learned from the Jew and vice versa. Jesus lauded a pagan military officer as the man with the greatest faith he had ever met, to the horror of the surrounding Jews and disciples. The Samaritan, who had every right to walk by a member of a group that devalued his people, yet stopped and cared and connected. WE love the story but miss the point.

The chaplain must first be willing to listen in order the embrace where the strands of the faith experience intersect among us. Our religions and faith traditions may differ, but they all intersect at many, many points. Thus, the quality of a beautiful tapestry is the strength/quality of the intersections of its strands. The intersections of these different strands makes the most beautiful tapestry of great value - the gorgeous mosaic that is the beloved community.

"A good death" is the term that warriors would use to imply that their death came in the midst of doing something honorable or significant.<br> Thus, a sense of connection, making those around us feel connected in a community, can be significant to a person at end of life. Isolation and loneliness exacerbates the physical pain we feel. Connection soothes that pain.

The feelings of connection are never more important than at end of life. The sense that a person does not matter, that their life did not matter is a stimulant to suffering as much as physical pain. Connection to family or to an adopted family is vitally important. "God setteth the solitary in families." Psalm 68:6

The entire reason Jesus taught with stories is because they have the ability to transcend the head and mind to the soul and heart, effecting everyone, regardless of age, education or status of life. The story allows us to embody ourselves within it, blasting through our compartments and our desire to control our presentation.

The required ingredient to effective soul care is honesty. This means opening up the universal emotions and feelings/emotions that everyone tends to keep buried. Only 15% of our "stuff" is exposed with the remaining 85% hidden away. The chaplain has the task of connecting with each person in such away as to delve into the compartments that we shield through our position and presentation to the public.

Faith and belief will always direct and color the interpretation of facts that support what we consider "reason." That is, we enter into interpretation of data that we see and absorb through the lens cap of our inborn beliefs. Two reasonable people can look at two set of facts and come to divergent conclusions, based the beliefs and faith claims that they bring into the analysis.

Most young college who have not been to church youth groups, are turned off by the "rigidity" and generational image of an older church. They are not interested in the traditional church, but remain very open to spiritual disciplines and theologies and its study and practice. They meditate and pursue contemplative philosophies, making them "spiritual but not religious."<br> It is only the more progressive church plants that appeal to this newer generation.