but by men doing more.

But this changes when they can’t rely on social supports such as paid family leave, subsidized child care, and flexible work arrangements

gender inequality remains deeply protected by old-school social norms

Instead of focusing on how the unemployed woman could get her next job, the couples I talked with focused their attention on ensuring that the husband’s career was flourishing

emphasizing that his income alone is enough to support the family.

while men’s unemployment was framed as a grave problem in need of immediate rectification, women’s unemployment was not

he more economically dependent men are on their wives, the less housework they do.

couples often reframe the value of each spouse’s work to elevate the husband’s work as being more prestigious and downplaying the importance of the woman’s job.

when wives are professionally successful, couples are often reluctant to acknowledge the woman’s status as the breadwinner.

Although American mothers—including those with young children—are far more likely to be working now than in past decades, they spend more time on child care today than did moms in the 1960s

gender equality for women still lags in another realm: their own home.

When people move in together or get married, they become more insular

co-housing communities

we are all looking for two kinds of things. One is what Brooks was emphasizing—connection, community, belongingness—and that’s important, but we also, all of us, have some craving for solitude, privacy, autonomy, time to ourselves

while people still want flexibility and some privacy, they are casting about for more communal ways of living, guided by a still-developing set of values.

the proportion of households in the United States that were made up of married couples and children was less than one in five.

parenting partnership: You have a pair of people, sometimes more than that, who live together and raise children, but what gets subtracted out is the romantic connection

It used to be that these components all came packaged together

the answer might resemble the extended families and kinship networks that were more common in earlier eras

stripping away these boundaries and revealing the complexity of life.

These myths don’t address the quality of work or your ability to focus and think deeply.

ideal-worker norms very much benefit employers

So much of our guilt comes from the idea that we have multiple priorities. It’s probably healthy to have multiple priorities, but that’s not what our myths valorize.

where a lot of problems start—is when people conflate responsiveness with care and dedication

these things become basic expectations

The first step is that you get a new tool, and you choose to use it in a way that enhances your sense of self, or what’s important to you

“spiral of expectations”

We have the ability to track our children’s phones, but the questions are: How much should I track? Is it for their safety? Is it just for my peace of mind? Do I actually have a clearer sense of their safety if I know where the blue dot is on a map?

observed the daily lives of nine middle- to upper-income families

“ultimate body,” which is cultivated through diligent dieting and exercise, and doesn’t deteriorate with age

“perfect parent,” who “always puts family first.”

“ideal worker,” who “has no competing obligations that might get in the way of total devotion to the workplace.”

an inattention to race precludes local officials from seeing how such policies can overlook nonwhite groups that aren’t well-represented in politics.

affirmative action for whites.

the fact that the law wasn’t written with preexisting racial imbalances in mind meant that many non-white veterans were left without access to classic American paths to upward mobility.

often only for houses in predominantly black areas where property values were lower.

facilitated a wave of mostly white homeownership and the growth of the mid-20th-century middle class

implemented on the state level

require that black veterans seeking college degrees enroll at historically black colleges, which were almost always underfunded and had few of the resources that primarily white colleges did

legislation written with language that wasn’t explicitly discriminatory. And yet, these policies did not work for everyone: It was primarily white Americans who were able to benefit from them once they were put in place

move toward policies that direct attention away from race and instead focus broadly on economic mobility

“identity politics”

this approach would alienate some largely white swaths of the country that would be crucial to the party’s future electoral success

We need a wider discussion of how we have naturalized logics and practices of carcerality in our communities and classrooms,”

U.S. society doesn’t see black children as children, but as “thuggish” and “predatory”

“Certain children in our culture get to be children, and others don’t.”

creating more relaxed environments in her schools

goal is for students to talk through their problems and make amends, instead of receiving detention, suspension, or worse.

Students who are suspended just once are more likely to ultimately repeat a grade or drop out of school, and to later be in contact with a county’s juvenile probation department.

schools with SROs had five times as many arrests for “disorderly conduct” compared to schools without these officers

punishes people for minor offenses, like vandalism, to supposedly create an orderly atmosphere and deter more serious crime.

black students are 4.5 times more likely to be suspended than white students

This kind of discipline raises the likelihood that students will embark on a path to prison, dubbed the “school-to-prison pipeline.

Race only requires some good guys with big guns looking for a reason.

Over history of race has taken geography, language, and vague impressions as its basis.

The reasons for that take us right back to fact of race as a social construct.

It is no more legitimate to ask "Is the black race dumber than then white race?" than it is to ask "Is the Jewish race thriftier than the Arab race?"

sought to delineate racial difference through head-type:

justifying secession on the grounds of irreconcilable ethnic differences between Southern and Northern whites.

no coherent, fixed definition of race actually exists

What do you mean by race?"

Many have no trouble establishing their identities via their families, religions, social lives, or careers,

a way to prove to themselves and to others that a changing world is no match for them

Body art has taken on a greater significance, and people want their ink to say something about who they are

signaling individuality in the same ways a birthmark or scar might

traditional model of spending a lifetime with one employer has eroded

Tattoos, recent research suggests, don’t just express identity: They help define it.

part of what makes them so meaningful is the degree of sacrifice involved in the process

About half of the inked-up population has between two and five, and 18 percent have six or more

Without access to many of the anchors their parents had to create their personal myths

personal myth

what we found is that we were in this modern era where people did know who they were

the objects with which we fill our homes play a vital role in how we construct our sense of self

Every personal item has a story behind it

Big Five personality traits

unconscious behavioral residue

feeling regulators

conscious identity claims,

Physical attractiveness, race, gender, facial symmetry, skin texture, or facial expressions and body language

cue utilization

how sexuality intersects with gender, race, ethnicity and age to better understand the shifting landscape of sexual identities and contemporary systems of social inequality

instance, qualitative analysis of interviews with women of color over time

most effective sociological analyses of these issues will require mixed-methods approaches that simultaneously qualitatively measure how individuals think about dimensions of sexuality

the very object of their study is “on the move.

Among this age group, there are almost as many bisexual-identifying women as there are gay men, bisexual men, and lesbian women combined!

bisexual is now a more prevalent identity than lesbian

“bisexual” is often presented as more nebulous than lesbian, gay, or straight classifications.

bisexual had become the more prevalent sexual minority identity

sexual minority identities are growing rapidly among young adults

ame-sex sexual identities, as opposed to same-sex behaviors or desires, yields the most conservative estimates of the size of the LGB population

not everyone understands sexuality and their own sexuality(ies) in precisely the same ways

dimensions do not always line up neatly

Sexualities are composed of (among other things) desires, acts or behaviors, and identities

how sexuality is being defined

Estimating the size of sexual minority populations is challenging

complicated by how sociologists often measure and make sense of sexual minority identities

some new trend among young people

not conceived of as “our” children

“conundrum of privilege.

Privileged parents have the power, autonomy, time, and resources to, for instance, attend school-district meetings

some parents actually have the power to make it so

ver-policed,

Teachers’ biases against black students

housing segregation and unequal funding

magnet students, who are mostly white and Asian, take classes on the second floor, and the LBJ students, who are majority black and Latino, take classes on the floor below

created a school within a school at Columbia High School

racialized tracking

tasked with challenging presumably smart students with acceleration and extra enrichment activities