Rescuer role agenda

Karpman's Triangle

Rescuer role

Rescuer role

Blatant change of subject and "pity play". Final victim role of the conflict.

Codependency

Untraumatized* spirit

Ego*

Wounded* inner child. The motif Danny had tried endlessly to impress on Karen.

Karen did know. Therapy was the only way. She refused.

Calling out her limiting, victimhood mentality and the need for her to adapt into an empowering, abundance mentality.

Her*

Calling out gaslighting, quicksanding, and deflection of accountability

Hyperbolic exaggeration

Translates to "a beta" that she can control and domesticate. Or an alpha she can tame, which is highly unlikely given her high level of insecurity and antisocial behavior.

Less than empathetic, but effective, way of explaining the miscommunication

"Pity play" and projection

Karen misunderstands the nature of these statements. Danny issued these statements in an effort to show Karen how her "little princess and the pea" games make her out to be more compassionate for others than she actually is, as evidenced by her inability to be compassionate towards Danny when his health was in question.

Taking the higher moral ground

"Quicksanding" by changing the subject to a projected emotion that is irrelevant to the conflict at hand

Codependency

"Going meta" by explaining Karen is avoiding accountability for her conduct.

Avoidants need to feel like they "get it right" and that their partner is proud of them, rather than continually disappointed.

Emotional base, not rational base

Calling out "pity play"

"Pity play". Feigning incompetence.

Verbatim calling out the Traumatic Bond, without the knowledge of what a traumatic bond consists of.

Evidence of Karen's cognition that her avoidant and manipulative behavior in conflict is highly detrimental to Danny. Persecutor role.

Codependency evidence of internalization. Victim role.

Avoiding accountability. Victim role.

Verbatim spreading responsibility when this is not appropriate.

Wrong word choice. "mistakes" is more fitting. Shortcomings are personality defects that don't belong in the context of conflict resolution.

Again spreading the blame in order to avoid accountability. While it can be said Danny did lack understanding that would have aided in conflict resolution, the onus of lacking compassion falls on Karen.

Codependency expectations

Victim role

Admittance of avoidant behavior at the sign of conflict. Shutting down emotions and creating distance.

Danny is taking personal responsibility for his persecutor role.

Offering behavioral changes

Attempting to spread the accountability in order to avoid addressing her behavior head on. Victim role

Danny's health not being considered at all is an unacceptable red flag and deal-breaker

The "but" negates accepting the apology

Karen is taking personal responsibility here for her persecutor role after having been show all of her maladaptive defense mechanisms were not going to absolve her of accountability for her conduct.

Explaining Karen's emotional unavailability

Indicates beginning of amygdala hijack

"Caretaker role" indicates codependency. Nobody wants to be Danny's mother. He is responsible for his own well-being without internalizing the conduct of others.

"Going meta". Explaining Karen is gaslighting and not telling the truth. Persecutor role

Gaslighting. No attempt was made

At times, Danny did beg for Karen's sympathy

Gaslighting. No accusations were made. Danny expressed Karen not meeting his needs

Diminishing

Disregard for others

Victim role

Gaslighting

True statement, but incognizant of the behavior that induced such things said

Emotional base, not rational base

Hypersensitivity to criticism induces shutting down and avoidance

Deflection fueled by fear of letting Danny down or "not getting it right"

Criticism is not healthy. Collaborative feedback is.

Pointing out the unbalanced power dynamics were not acceptable

Synonymous with narcissistic

Greatest indication of narcissism - hypersensitivity to criticism

Gaslighting

"Going meta" and describing how this train of thought is irrational

Describing devaluing/discarding motivation

Calling out devaluing and discarding

Again, "show me the hand". Persecutor role

Aware of issue, but deflecting of accountability

"Show me the hand" response to microaggression

She's not happy because Danny expressed she was emotionally absent...?

Being defensive is a defense mechanism. Balanced relationships don't involve defending against attacks.

Avoidance of conflict. Unrealistic expectations.

Quicksanding - changing the subject away from Danny's concern. Hyperbolic statement.

Victim

Strategy used by Karen often during conflict to create distance in an effect of self-preservation. The sole reason this conversation was on Facebook. Avoidant

Victim

Persecutor

Victim

Pointing out lack of empathy (#1 trait of narcissism). Persecutor

Pointing out gaslighting. Victim

Pointing out narcissistic abuse. Persecutor

Codependency. Victim

Refusing to be domesticated

Pointing out avoidance

Pointing out cyclical discarding

Triangulation by proxy

Shaming

Pointing out Karen's avoidance led to cyclical breakups. Devaluing at the sign of conflict.

Pointing out avoidance

Persecutor

Victim

Gaslighting

Victim

Shaming criticism. Attempt to claim moral high ground.

Victim

Triangulation