82 Matching Annotations
  1. Nov 2024
    1. Michael Jackson's "Black Or White"

      You did an excellent job on this project!

      Here are some of the strengths of your project. Your analysis presents a compelling and well-reasoned argument, reflecting your deep understanding of Michael Jackson's evolution as both an artist and a social figure. The logic behind your argument is clear, as you effectively trace Jackson's shift from entertainment-focused pop music to music with a powerful social message. This transition is explained in a way that not only highlights the significance of Jackson’s music but also frames it within the broader cultural and political context of the early 1990s. The examples you choose are highly relevant and illustrative of the points you’re making. They enrich your argument by providing specific, concrete instances that reinforce the evolution of his message. Moreover, your citation is correctly formatted, with a clear and precise reference list that strengthens the academic rigor of your work.

      One area for improvement is that I think it would be helpful for readers if you incorporate more personal context or stories surrounding the creation of "Black or White" or Jackson's journey toward activism would deepen the reader's connection to the artist’s motivations. Personal anecdotes or insights into his creative process would humanize his shift from pop idol to social advocate. Additionally, separating the analysis of your sources into the first body paragraph rather than including it in the introduction could make your structure more reader-friendly, allowing for a more distinct division between your introduction, source analysis, and the main argument. Lastly, adding a table of contents would enhance the overall organization of the paper, helping readers easily navigate between sections and strengthening the overall presentation.

      Overall I think your project is really well done.I’m really looking forward to seeing the completed version and how you continue to refine and expand on these ideas.

    1. Whether that be on the walk to school or the car ride to work, music is so mainstream in our era. Being incorporated into the average Americans routine, messages that promote social change in America is heard on the daily. Jackson’s work invites us to consider the growth in positive impact artists can have here in America when they dare to blend art with advocacy, an influence that resonates as strongly now as it did in his era.

      I really like how you wrap up your analysis with a forward-looking reflection on the power of music in today's world, especially in the context of social change.

    2. Fans and critics were divided; some applauded Jackson’s courage to take a stand on a controversial issue, while others questioned whether his message resonated or felt out of place in the pop landscape. Beyond the lyrics and the sound, the video alone sparked discussions, with some scenes seen as provocative or misunderstood in addition to the face-morphing sequence adding polarization to the song’s reception (Silberman 2007). More specific to the release date in 1991, “Black Or White” came at a time when racial tensions were especially high in the United States, with events like the Rodney King beating and ensuing discussions on race relations at the forefront of American society.

      I think the topic sentence of this paragraph is really clear, But I think the paragraph ends abruptly after the second evidence. I would suggest adding one or two sentences after it.

    3. This groundbreaking visual effect for the time was especially innovative and perhaps jarring for some fans, adding to its memorability and underscoring Jackson’s call for racial barriers to be dissolved in the 90s.

      I really like how you incorporate both the cultural impact and the controversies that followed. It really gives depth to the discussion of "Black or White" as not just a song, but a pivotal moment in pop culture and social history.

    4. The song’s lyrics spoke directly to issues of race, with lines like “[i]f you’re thinkin’ about my baby, it don’t matter if you’re black or white,” sending a clear message of acceptance and equality.

      This line is iconic and perfectly encapsulates the message of unity. I love how you call it a “clear message,” emphasizing the song’s directness.

    5. We’ll see how Jackson’s transformation from pop superstar to political voice has changed American pop culture and pushed the boundaries of what music could convey starting in the era of early 90s America.

      This statement gives the reader a sense of what's to come. But I don't think we can use contraction in formal writings so you may want to change it to "we will"

    6. one of pop music’s King.

      This is a really powerful description but I would suggest just using "King of Pop" since it’s like a more established term.

    1. “I owned every second that this world could give.” Both tracks celebrate overcoming life’s high and low notes, with Jackson focusing on racial harmony and “I Lived” emphasizing resilience and perseverance.

      I think your analysis of the lyrics and themes of each song is very thorough. As a reader who has never heard these songs before, I can still clearly understand your point.

    2. Both songs crescendo as powerful reminders of how music can orchestrate societal change, urging us to focus on our shared identity of humanity.

      this sentence very effectively highlights the transformative power of music to bring about social change by encouraging listeners to recognize and embrace their collective human identity. This also allows readers to actively think about this theme.

    3. This track reflects the shared responsibility of humanity to lift one another, echoing the message of unity first heard in 'Black Or White.'

      I like how these song all share a common central theme which is the call for unity, equality, and social justice.

    4. Contents 1 2024-11-06T17:07:55-08:00 Kainoa Wagatsuma b5098b42ffcb1f2613cf8ce9b73705a9d95b32d0 Timeline of MJ's Songs 7 plain 2024-11-07T07:40:22-08:00 Kainoa Wagatsuma b5098b42ffcb1f2613cf8ce9b73705a9d95b32d0 1 2024-11-07T08:14:43-08:00 Kainoa Wagatsuma b5098b42ffcb1f2613cf8ce9b73705a9d95b32d0 Rock Aspects 1 plain 2024-11-07T08:14:43-08:00 Kainoa Wagatsuma b5098b42ffcb1f2613cf8ce9b73705a9d95b32d0 1 2024-11-07T08:14:49-08:00 Kainoa Wagatsuma b5098b42ffcb1f2613cf8ce9b73705a9d95b32d0 Rap Aspects 1 plain 2024-11-07T08:14:50-08:00 Kainoa Wagatsuma b5098b42ffcb1f2613cf8ce9b73705a9d95b32d0 1 2024-11-07T08:14:57-08:00 Kainoa Wagatsuma b5098b42ffcb1f2613cf8ce9b73705a9d95b32d0 Pop Aspects 1 plain 2024-11-07T08:14:58-08:00 Kainoa Wagatsuma b5098b42ffcb1f2613cf8ce9b73705a9d95b32d0 Begin with “Timeline of MJ's Songs”

      I would suggest adding a button that directs to the last page/section.

    1. By presenting Jackson as a manipulator of the media, Silberman fails to account for external factors like the press, fans, and industry pressures, and does not explore alternative interpretations of Jackson’s actions or motivations.

      This is a very thorough and insightful critique. It effectively highlights Silberman's narrow view of Jackson as a mere manipulator of the media.

    2. Additionally, Silberman divides his article into two sections, first Jackson’s 1991 “Black Or White,” then contrasting this with the 2005 trial.

      This sentence gives a smooth transition from last paragraph and works well to introduce the structure of Silberman’s analysis

    3. Moreover, the overemphasis of Jackson’s persona as a deliberate product of media manipulation may be taken through the wrong time lens; published more than fifteen years after the release of Jackson’s song, the cultural context may have been lost regarding a more grounded discussion around the artist’s motivatio

      This is an insightful point, providing a historical perspective that strengthens your argument.

    4. Seth Clark Silberman’s "Presenting Michael Jackson" provides an analysis of Jackson’s celebrity through poststructuralist theory and offers insights into Jackson’s manipulation of his image, yet extremity is still up for debate, and Silberman’s primary argument comes down to one major flaw– it is overly narrow in scope

      I agree with Kaylee. This sentence is indeed a little bit too long but it does effectively conclude the passage

    5. Silberman

      I think the argument here you made is very strong. I personally would prefer adding a more general topic sentence before heading into specific analysis. I think in this case the readers will know the purpose of this paragraph more clearly.

    6. The song and music video “Black Or White” by Michael Jackson explores themes of racial unity while using groundbreaking visual effects as aid.

      This captures the essence of the song's purpose very effectively. The inclusion of “groundbreaking visual effects” hints at Jackson’s innovative approach, which adds depth to the analysis.

    7. Published in 2007, “Presenting Michael Jackson” by Seth Clark Silberman examines Michael Jackson as a celebrity and cultural icon.

      This opening is concise and sets up the context well. It clearly establishes the work being discussed, making it accessible to the reader.

    1. Thus, setting a precedent for future artists to follow in his footsteps, such as Beyonce and Kendrick Lamar, who similarly use their platforms to politicize music, share their story, and promote social causes.

      I think it is excellent to talk about how Michael Jackson sets a precedent for future artists. But I think this sentence lacks a main clause. It would be better to change "setting" to "he set".

    2. Jackson’s “Black Or White” is a significant mark on music as a platform for beneficially social and progressive messages because it was more than a song; it was a political and cultural intervention at a time when race relations, specifically in America, were at the forefront of social issues.

      I think you did a great job reinforcing the main argument without overly summarizing things you already talked about.

    3. In a broader societal lens,

      I really like how you elevates the argument to a broader societal lens. I think the structure of this essay would be more consistent if you start this paragraph off with a more arguable topic sentence.

    4. Jackson thus politicizes his work by embedding social critiques in his mainstream pop song, and, beyond just a message, he also extends his appeal to those that can attest to the issues he sheds light on through lyrical style.

      I like the points you made here. It would be more clear if you simplify the structure of this sentence a little bit or break it into two sentences.

    5. By incorporating multiple genres, particularly with a rap and hip-hop segment in the middle of the song with comments on systemic racism in America, Jackson suggests that music could, much like race, can and will transcend boundaries.

      I agree with Kaylee. This sentence is really well written and effectively wraps up this paragraph and reinforces your central argument.

    6. The song’s sonic characteristics, such as its fusion of sounds common in pop, rock, and hip-hop genres, reflect the theme of racial unity.

      I think this is a good observation. I would suggest adding one or two sentences explaining your topic sentence or offer some contexts about racial problems. This will give you a more smooth transition to the examples, i think.

    7. The sound, lyrics, as well as the context and timing of the song’s release reflect Jackson’s primary theme of racial harmony, embedding itself as not just a pop anthem but as a social statement.

      This is a very clear central argument and effectively provides a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.

    8. "Black Or White"

      I think it's very interesting and creative that you just use the song title as the title of your essay. But I would suggest adding a more descriptive subtitle so that readers can know what this essay is about.

    1. But in this project, I will take a more focused analytical approach while preserving the grassroots style in which audiences traditionally shared and interpreted his messages

      I agree with Kaylee. You did a good job demonstrating your goal of this project.

    2. The societal reaction to "Black Or White" was mixed.

      I think your discussion about the societal reaction to this song is really effective. I would suggest adding a transition word or sentence before it.

    3. .

      Also I would suggest adding a sentence here that wraps up the main point you made in this paragraph. I think this will help create a more cohesive flow into the next section.

    4. Moreover, from the music review, "Black Or White" was groundbreaking in how it fused different genres, blending rock’s aggressive guitar riffs with upbeat pop melodies and even incorporating a hip-hop segment (Hopper 2023).

      I like that you incorporate your own work here. It would be more clear if you add an internal citation hyperlink that can direct us to this page.

    5. Furthermore, this project outlines how he used his newfound politicized platform to great effectiveness domestically, here in America.

      I agree with Kaylee's comment. This argument has really strong potential and it would be more effective if you expand it a little bit.

    6. Furthermore, Jackson’s deliberate decision to politicize his music and image with "Black Or White" was a significant shift that would influence generations of artists who followed in his footsteps

      Throughout the essay, your use of transition words makes the structure very clear. However, it feels a bit awkward to start the first body paragraph with "furthermore".

    7. For instance, the song made a resurgence on social media during the  Black Lives Matter movement, where fans highlighted Jackson’s early advocacy for racial unity in American pop culture.

      This is a really strong example to support how "Black Or White" continues to be referenced in today's conversations about racial harmony. However, I think the structure of this essay would look better if you write an individual paragraph talking about it instead of having it in the introduction paragraph.

    8. Michael Jackson's "Black Or White," one of the most popular songs of the 90s, represents a critical turning point in his career, marking his transition from the King of Pop to a socially conscious pop artist. Released in 1991 as the lead single from his Dangerous album, "Black Or White" tackled the question of racial identity, blending multiple musical genres such as pop, rock, and hip-hop to craft a message of racial harmony.

      I think the introduction here does an effective job of setting the stage for a deeper exploration of the song's cultural and artistic significance.

    1. Investigating "Love Wins All"by Hawon Park

      You did an excellent job on this project! It made me fall in love with this song and allowed me to reflect on the meaning and power of love with each essay.

      Here are some of the strengths of your project. Each article is well-organized, with a clear central argument that allows readers to easily follow the analysis. Each article has an engaging introduction and a conclusive ending, with a sense of elevation of the theme in the conclusion. I feel that the purpose of these articles is really consistent, and they have all achieved their goals very well. This clarity not only helps in understanding the primary thesis but also deepens the reader’s appreciation of the song. The examples you choose are both very strong and highly relevant, effectively supporting your arguments and enhancing the overall quality of the analysis. You are particularly good at using these examples to evoke emotional resonance and provoke deeper reflection in the reader. I was deeply touched by your words as well as the song multiple times. Furthermore, your internal citations are particularly clear, which not only strengthens your credibility but also provides an excellent model for me in terms of proper citation practices. Overall, I feel that the language and structure of the articles are quite strong, with no major issues. The arguments are clearly presented, and the flow of ideas is smooth, making it easy for the reader to follow the analysis.

      One area for improvement is that some of the arguments you made show really strong potential, but they could be even more compelling if you provided additional examples to support them. For instance, in your final essay, the discussion of the visual elements of the song is a particularly interesting and promising argument. However, it would have been even more effective if you had incorporated more specific examples from the visuals themselves to strengthen your point. Providing a wider range of examples would help to solidify your arguments.

      Overall I think your project is really well done.I’m really looking forward to seeing the completed version and how you continue to refine and expand on these ideas.

    1. The video’s color palettes and lighting choices serve as a powerful tool to reinforce the message of the power of love. Throughout the music video, the scenes with IU and V are often split into cool and warm tones.

      I really love how you use the contrast between cold and warm tones and I think this is a very effective example of how the visual elements of the mv convey messages. But I think this paragraph looks a lot shorter than the other ones so maybe adding one more example about the visual elements here would make the overall structure of this essay more consistent.

    2. She makes her audience shift in perspective to see love as a powerful force that wins against adversities. This shift in perspective, then makes “Love Wins All” more than a song. It becomes an encouragement, telling the audience to show and share love as a way to fight hate.

      I love the elaboration here. This aligns perfectly with the core message of hope, love, and resilience, showing that IU’s work is not only artistic but also transformative for the audience’s worldview.

    3. The theme of healing, for example, is included in scenes where IU and V’s scars and disabilities disappear when they are immersed in each other’s presence (IU “Love Wins All” MV 0:38-2:40)

      I think this is a strong example that supported your argument. I would suggest you to add a transitional sentence between the example and topic sentence just like you did in the last paragraph.

    4. IU’s choice to portray hate as this ominous, almost mechanical being, contrasts with the warm human connection between the main characters and reinforces the belief that love is genuine, personal, and human, while hate is cold, alone, and impersonal. By showing love as the opposite of hate, IU encourages her audience to reject hate and choose love as the stronger, more meaningful force in their lives.

      I really like how you not only explained the two symbols separately but also connected them by drawing the contrast between them. I think this really reinforces how powerful love is and how impactful this music video is.

    5. As the first way of contact, every part of the music video has a significant impact on the audience and one particular part is the symbolism. The use of symbolism is central to the impact of the music video because it allows viewers to emotionally connect with love as a constant and powerful force.

      This paragraph is really well-structured. I like how you always add one sentence that explains and expands the topic sentence before getting into the evidence.

    6. As a result, IU leaves a lasting impact through the symbols in the music video of “Love Wins All”, which is only expanded upon by the hidden themes.Hidden themes of healing and empathy further enhance the impact of the music video, which is significant because it is the audience’s initial encounter with the song.

      The transition here is very smooth. I like how you mentioned about "hidden themes" at the end of the last paragraph and smoothly connected it to the next paragraph.

    7. On January 24, 2024, IU released a music video to her newest comeback song, “Love Wins All”. The song was more than just a song, but rather a film that portrayed the love of two characters in a dystopian world. Directed by Uhm Tae Hwa, the music video follows IU and V, running away from a mysterious cube and taking refuge in an abandoned mall. As the primary form through which most of IU’s audience first encountered the song, the music video is significant. Through the symbolism, hidden themes, and visual elements in the music video, IU creates a theme that love is a transforming force capable of winning against the harshest adversities. This perspective shift invites viewers not only to believe in the power of love but also to share and embody it in their lives.

      This is a really nice introduction. You started it off with a hook that pointed out what the mv is about, then smoothly transited to your central argument which is very clear.

    1. As IU approached the climax of “Love Wins All” the crowd grew wild, and the song reached its peak. Closing her eyes, IU confidently sang the last verse, “Love, Love, Love, Love”. As the stage lights dimmed, IU opened her eyes. Overwhelming the hate that IU had seen and received over the years, the crowd erupted in adoration and love for IU. In that moment, I could see the power of love.

      this paragraph does an excellent job of providing a climax to the analysis. The image of IU confidently singing the final lyrics and the crowd’s reaction is emotionally powerful. The final sentence, “I could see the power of love,” beautifully ties back to the theme of the song and the playlist.

    2. the singers are hoping that their love will help that person overcome their life’s adversities.

      I am a little confused by the pronouns here. Maybe change one of them to people's names?

    3. The soft emotional vocals are very similar to that of the introductory vocals in “Love Wins All”. These emotional vocals connect the two songs because they connect with my, the listener’s, emotions, allowing me to wonder if love can truly win.

      I like how you point out the emotional resonance both songs share and the emotional impact of the vocals to the central theme of love's power.

    4. Through this playlist, IU argues that love will always win no matter the strength that hatred seems to have. It is important to follow and believe in this power of love especially in the current world full of adversity and hatred.

      I think your playlist and listening guide is really well-structured.

    5. In this song, listen to the powerful vocal range of LeeHi, especially when she reaches the climax of the song. This parallels IU's strong vocals in “Love Wins All”. Strong vocals in “Breathe” and “Love Wins All” enhance the emotional impact of the lyrics, illustrating the power of love. Therefore, focus on LeeHi’s strong voice in the climax of “Breathe”.

      I like how you not only links the two songs by the messages they convey but also how the two singers present them in similar ways.

    6. The song can be seen as the words that IU wished she could have said to Sulli. Sulli’s death was a major adversity for IU, especially because hate from K-netizens contributed to Sulli’s death. During this time of grief, IU still chose to believe in the power of love because of the people who stayed with her and loved her through these difficult times. With “Love Poem” connecting to “Love Wins All” by serving as context, “Love Poem” was specifically placed as the first song on this list. “Love Poem” also connects to “Love Wins All” because the power of love is relevant in “Love Poem”. Throughout the song, IU says that someone is praying for another person. In doing so, she creates hope that there may be someone out there praying for each of us. This hope is what she hoped could have reached Sulli. So, for whoever else has dark thoughts, she presents a song that sends hope and love.

      I think the emotional connection to Sulli provides a deep layer to both songs. The comparison between the two songs is insightful, especially in linking the two through the theme of love offering hope. also I think "somewhere, someone is praying for you" is really resonating supportive for everyone who will be listening to this playlist.

    7. The first three songs show the need for love and the power it can have. The context of these songs deals with death, depression, and suicide, highlighting the power love can bring in these moments. Continuing this theme, “Run With Me” and “Pray” provide comfort and strength through love.

      I think the order of the songs is very logical. Starting with the slightly heavier-themed songs and moving towards those that more directly celebrate the power of love, the listeners' emotions are well-guided. This progression also highlights the strength of love emphasized in "Love Wins All".

    8. As the lights dimmed and the stage went dark, a sea of green lightsticks waved across the cheering crowd. A hush fell over the crowd as the soft melody of the piano filled the air, developing into a crescendo. Then, a spotlight shined on IU as her voice silenced the audience. In the faintest whisper, IU sang the first verse of “Love Wins All”, “Dearest, darling, my universe”.

      You did a perfect job using "show rather than tell". The description of the live concert is really vivid, it almost made me feel that i were there.

    1. t the beginning of the lengthened recording from the music video, the music starts with what one critic describes as an “immaculate piano intro” (Tan). The use of the piano coupled with IU’s soft whispering voice helps to establish an intimate and reflective atmosphere. This draws listeners into an emotional space where love feels delicate yet profound. The start contrasts with the song as it progresses when the music builds in intensity, matching IU’s “powerful, chest-baring voice” (Tan). The crescendos in both the instrumentals and IU’s voice mirror love growing from a delicate emotion to a powerful force that overcomes adversity and hardships.

      The description here is really vivid. It paints a clear and dynamic picture of how the musical elements in Love Wins All complement the underlying theme of love's power.

    2. It can change people’s thinking to believe that love is truly powerful and that with love, life’s adversities can be overcome. As a result, the lyrics that IU writes further enhance the message and significance of the song, “Love Wins All”.

      This concluding sentence ties everything together well. I like how you elaborate the main idea of this paragraph and I think it really shows how impactful it is.

    3. IU sings the following lyrics which have been translated to English, “will it be a bad ending for us two, gone astray?” and “Destroy me slowly…I want to get sad with you, My lover” (Love Wins All (English Translation) – IU | Genius Lyrics). These lines acknowledge the uncertainty and the potential pain in life's journey.

      again I like your interpretation of the lyrics! I think "which have been translated to English" seems a little bit clunky here?

    4. Through this lyric, IU evokes the idea that love is a fundamental and prevailing force.

      I love your interpretation of this lyric! I think you might want to expand it a little bit more about how the use of repetition here helps convey this feeling more strongly.

    5. In “Love Wins All”, IU masterfully intertwines her personal experiences, musical elements, and powerful lyrics to convey the enduring power of love. The cultural context of her experiences in the K-pop industry, marked by loss and adversity, serves as the foundation for her message of believing that love will win. In addition, the song’s musical journey, from soft vulnerability to powerful vocals demonstrates the emotional journey of love overcoming hardship. Finally, the lyrics offer a message of hope, urging its listeners to believe that love can triumph over life’s challenges. This message is significant because it challenges listeners to shift their perspective. In a world full of hate and adversity, “Love Wins All” encourages that with love, the difficulties in life can be overcome. Therefore, IU’s “Love Wins All” leaves behind the lasting belief, that no matter the adversities faced, love has the power to triumph, changing how people view the world.

      I love how this conclusion paragraph thoroughly summarizes this essay and further deepen the topic of this review. I think it would be more perfect if you make the summarization part more concise and write more about the impact of this song or use more words elaborating the main topic.

    6. While it may be difficult to attain a perfect understanding of this piece, its significance is unmistakable. Through its context, delicate yet bold musical elements, and lyrics, “Love Wins All” makes a simple, yet profound argument: love can overcome adversity. More than just a song, it encourages a shift in perspective, inviting listeners to see the world through the power of love.

      It clearly and directly presents the central argument of this music review, making it easy for readers to understand what you are trying to convey.

    1. In this thesis, there are many positive aspects. One major benefit of this source is its use of strong examples to support the arguments.

      I really like the flow and structure of this paragraph. You point out there are benefits, then use evidence and examples from the article to support this, and then conclude by mentioning how this enhanced her credibility. I think it is very clear for readers to read. I am not sure if this would work but maybe add one sentence that connects this to your song or IU?

    2. K-Pop

      most of the times you use "K-pop" while sometimes "K-Pop", I am not sure if it is necessary but I think it would look more consistent if you just use one.

    3. Connecting the thesis to “Love Wins All” by IU, the song’s underlying message highlights many hardships that IU experienced due to today's K-Pop culture. Thus, Kim’s thesis can be useful to deeply examine “Love Wins All”.

      You did a nice job connecting Kim's thesis with your song. And I think this paragraph provides a really specific and comprehensive introduction of kpop idols and the development of this industry. It really helps readers understand your song better.

    4. In the process of source analysis, some aspects include the author’s argument, structure, and relevance. Using this analytical approach, Jungwon Kim’s “K-Popping: Korean Women, K-Pop, and Fandom” can be examined to determine its credibility. In this thesis, Kim discusses the growth of K-pop into a musical genre gaining international recognition. Further, the author analyzes how K-Pop grew into what it is today and how this genre can be defined. As this peer-reviewed source is indirectly connected to “Love Wins All” by IU, it is crucial to analyze its strengths and limitations, determining its effectiveness as a source.

      Very clear introduction. It nicely introduces the topic of the article and clearly states the purpose of the analysis. It would be more perfect if it has a little bit more information about "Love Wins All" and how it is connected with Kim's article.

    5. In conclusion, it is important to analyze the argument, strength, and limitation of “K- Popping: Korean Women, K-Pop, and Fandom” to determine its credibility as a source for analyzing “Love Wins All” by IU.

      I think "in conclusion" might be unnecessary here since this sentence has already done a good job concluding the essay.

    6. Critical Reading of Jungwon Kim's Thesis on The K-pop Genre and its Fandom

      I like this description (or subtitle?) here. It clearly shows the purpose of this essay to your readers.

    1. Therefore, the song’s story urges its listeners to embrace the power of love to endure and overcome, showing that it truly can win against adversity.

      overall I think your introduction essay is really well-structured and it shows the significance of this song from multiple dimensions. I really like it!

    2. The broader significance of the song is also reflected in different pieces of music.

      Really good transition. I think it would be clearer if you can address the "universality" of how the significance if reflected not only in kpop but also other genres of music or like other countries.

    3. Through the layers of context, lyrics, and visual elements, the power of love emerges, creating a story that deeply resonates.

      This sentence really concisely and effectively wraps up this paragraph.

    4. Furthermore, the impact of “Love Wins All” extends beyond the K-pop industry.

      I think you did a great job structuring this paragraph. It starts off with a clear topic sentence and it's supported by strong evidence and examples. It also relates last paragraph and even broader contexts.

    5. This theme of love’s enduring is especially powerful when viewed through the tragic story of Sulli, IU’s close friend who lost her life after enduring public scrutiny and hate.

      This paragraph really gives me a strong emotional impact and helps me understand not only the message from the song but also the darkness of kpop industry. I like how you start this paragraph by mentioning the tragic story of Sulli (I feel really sorry for her), but I feel like it would be better and more consistent if you start the paragraph off with a more general/ arguable topic sentence just like what you did for other paragraphs. (?)

    6. dark figures surround the couple, symbolizing societal hate and criticism (IU “Love Wins All” MV).

      I really like how you connect the core message of the song with the visual elements of it music video. One suggestion is that "the sixth page" is a little bit confusing since I don't know the page number. I think it would be better if you write "as discussed in the xxx-th paragraph".

    7. (IU “Love Wins All” MV)

      When I click this link, I don't know why but it says "this video isn't available anymore". I would suggest try to directly embed this video so we can watch it on this site.

    8. In a world filled with challenges and adversities, IU’s song “Love Wins All” sends a clear message that love overcomes hardship. Released on January 24, 2024, the song quickly gained popularity, racking up millions of views on YouTube. Its success can be attributed not only to IU’s captivating voice and musical elements but also to the powerful story that it shares: the story of love triumphing over adversity. More than a simple K-pop song, “Love Wins All” shows the story of love’s enduring strength, which matters because it reshapes people’s perspective on life’s difficulties.

      The introduction paragraph is really clear and does a great job of setting the tone for the project. I also really like how you quickly connect the song to a larger idea and make it really clear that it’s not just about K-pop, but about something much deeper.