He doesn’t love anyone. He only owns them.
女主一直在说话的,这种vo无意义,删
He doesn’t love anyone. He only owns them.
女主一直在说话的,这种vo无意义,删
No canvas. No privacy. No lock I controlled.
无意义,删
Valentina stops. She takes the message. The servant releases it into her hand. She unfolds the paper.瓦伦蒂娜停下了脚步。她接过那张纸条。仆人把它放进了她的手里。她展开了那张纸。 ON PAPER: 纸面上:Come now. I may not survive the day. —Father.
纸条没意义,看看上个episode怎么改的,相应更改一下
Dante crooks one finger. The servant approaches, opens a blank message card on the table, and begins writing. The card stays angled away, unreadable.
避免出现那么多没有意义的纸条,父亲要仆人传话给女主而已,是口头就能解决的事情,为什么要多此一举写纸条
You’ve heard his version.
这句话是对谁说得根本看不出来,这一个episode里面的话都莫名其妙,故弄玄虚,整体改一下
Tonight, our families restore what scandal tried to break. Valentina and Rafael will secure this alliance.
前面有提及任何丑闻毁掉了两人的婚约吗?我印象中父亲发现二人偷情是私底下家族内部的,并不为外人所知。两人的婚礼是被枪击打断,枪击算丑闻吗?
Silence will do.
前面父亲已经说过这样的台词,他只会这样的台词吗,太雷同了,根据本episode前面的改写重新改一下
Don’t wait for me anymore.
此处不合逻辑,男女主都还没在父亲面前明牌,只是暗度陈仓。父亲此处叫男女主一起来书房然后宣布男主的婚约,只是一个警告-意指:你们两个都是归我管的,想做违反我意志的事没门
Tell me this is what you want.
女主也是被监视的人,怎么感觉男主在责怪女主?按照后面女主vo,她害怕男主因为她失去继承权害怕男主的人生被爸爸毁掉,那么此处应该是两人有亲密接触,然后女主发现有佣人在监视,于是主动拉开距离划清界限,但现在完全没体现
Report to the outer perimeter. Now.
太高深了,虽然我知道servant是想阻止男女主见面或者监视女主,但仅凭现在的对话根本看不懂servant是在干嘛
They are not just hiding him. They are studying us.
看不懂
Restoration billing is there. Only billing.
根本看不懂女主和SILVIO在干什么
That section is sealed. You were sent for billing.
这是什么意思?一点都看不懂
Valentina enters holding a restoration invoice.
女主在哪里得到的?前面从未交代,并且也不知道男主在调查什么,只知道他有事瞒着自己
Lina! Respond to me. 莉娜!快回复我。
删除
Let him leave. Let him breathe. Then follow.
无意义,删除
Under cover of adjusting her linen napkin, Valentina’s hand drops beneath the tablecloth. Deftly and quickly, she unbuttons Adrian’s formal trousers, sliding her warm hand under his waistband, pressing her bare skin directly against his sensitive pelvic skin with firm, rhythmic pressure.
已知女主坐在男主对面,女主怎么能做到隔着桌子解开男主腰带
Adrian folds the note once and slides it inside his jacket. With his other hand, he takes a plain studio-schedule page from a hallway console and places it on the tray where Mara’s note was.
整个episode15看不懂,不明白男主替换了什么便条,我理解的这里是想表达男主吃醋将什么人传递给女主的便条拿走了,避免女主看见,但是目前看不出来是吃醋新的muse来访还是女主未婚夫
One crack in the story. One crack I can't touch.
这句话无意义,删除
The room stopped him.
莫名其妙的一句台词,有种故作高深的感觉,需要直白一些
He didn’t just pull me away. He made Rafael wait.
明确一下是他把我从我和拉斐尔的婚礼拉走,这样冲突比较明确
Everyone else looks afraid. He looks ready.
女主紧接着立刻就问出口了自己内心的疑问,所以这句话内心独白无意义,删除
She loves Dominic.
这句话毫无意义
AMELIAI didn't leak that document.
整个episode28都莫名其妙,为什么还在解释没有泄露文件的事情,关键是毫无进展
Five minutes. Let me explain.
这里一直重复女主的解释,其实没有任何意义,跟episode23的解释重复,无论如何女主都一直在重复一些毫无意义的话,也并没有解释清楚整件事情,男主最后也是不接受的态度,那么可以直接简化,看看episode23和24的解释内容可以怎么简化,不要重复无意义的剧情
Dominic reaches back and pushes his empty chair flush against the table without sitting. The untouched plate remains above it. Dominic turns toward the open exit, his back to Amelia, his body already moving to leave. Amelia stands motionless behind the untouched dinner.
男主要离开就直接离开,女主的解释可以更焦急一些,不要一直做无意义的动作
I left dinner untouched once. Now he’s doing it to me.
这句台词太怨妇,和女主人设不符合
I went into the study, but—
男主都还没回来,女主为什么要对着空荡的作为自言自语
Dominic looks from the copy to the empty chair across from him. His jaw locks.
需要明确画面上显示女主做了什么,才能让后面得剧情合理化,这里没头没尾只是看见女主在书房就要怀疑女主是很不合理的
He taps print. The printer’s mechanical whir and clicking feed punctuate the silence as a copy slides out. Dominic takes it and lays it face-up on his desk. Its text and document image remain unreadable.
此处将画面打印出来的行为多此一举,直接在电脑屏幕就可以看
Then stop breathing and hold on to me.
男主让女主安静就好了,危急时刻男主那么多话很没有张力,像个老妈子
His suspicion should hurt. His disappointment hurts worse.
这句话不合时宜,女主此时并不会因为男主的怀疑就受伤,她此时还在怀疑男主家族和自己父亲的死有关系,所以是不会有这样的情绪产生的
You won't even look at me now.
女主是抗拒和男主亲密接触的,至少现在并不爱男主,只是有一些自己都未意识到的好感,所以不会说这样怨妇的话
Dominic unties the silk restraints, freeing her. Amelia retreats to the bed edge, her hands trembling as she smooths her unzipped skirt and adjusts her clothes, trying to find her breath. Dominic steps away, calmly buttoning his shirt cuffs and adjusting his collar, his expression turning cold and detached.
Dominic为什么突然停下来没有交代清楚
The phone vibrates in his hand, glowing with Cyrus Vale's caller ID. Dominic presses the side button, silencing the call, and places the phone face down on the bedside table. He shuts the heavy bedroom door, cutting off the corridor light and leaving them in the dim private room.多米尼克跟在阿梅莉亚身后走进卧室。他手里的手机震动起来,屏幕上显示着赛勒斯·韦尔的来电显示。多米尼克按下侧边按钮,将来电静音,然后把手机屏幕朝下放在床头柜上。
此处打电话为无意义行为,可删除
My skin remembers his hands. Every touch under the table, every breath in the car. It never really washes off.
桌底触碰前文会删除
Ellen retreats to the open doorway, her hands empty, leaving the serving dish and spoon untouched on the dining table. Her eyes track their hands above the table: Amelia's white-knuckled grip on her fork, and Dominic's hand resting flat on the mahogany, angled towards her side. Ellen lowers her head like a servant who has seen too much under-the-surface behavior, while beneath the mahogany, Dominic's warm thumb maintains its heavy pressure over Amelia's damp underwear.
此处不需要亲密戏,这样的行为在这里是越界的
Amelia desperately spoons a small portion of food onto her plate to maintain her facade under Ellen's watchful eye. But the slight hip shift lets Dominic execute his physical claim: beneath the mahogany dining table, his hand slides high under her silk skirt, his palm cupping her bare hip while his thumb presses firmly through her damp silk underwear directly over her vulva, forcing her pelvis down against his hard knee. Amelia’s spine arches rigidly, her eyes locking with his in a breathless plea. Ellen steps closer, her fingers operating inches from Amelia's frozen, trembling shoulders as she adjusts a side plate.
此处不需要亲密戏,这样的行为在这里是越界的
Under the table, Dominic’s fingers slide up her bare inner thigh beneath her silk skirt, his grip firm and proprietary. Above, his face remains a stoic, unreadable mask. Near the door frame, Ellen watches their stiff posture, her gaze tracking their hands.
此处不需要亲密戏,这样的行为在这里是越界的
Dominic pulls his hand back above the table and slides the dish closer, a cold command for her to receive it. But beneath the heavy wood, his other hand drops. His palm slides slowly up her calf to her knee, parting her thighs.
此处不需要亲密戏,这样的行为在这里是越界的