The panel of Victor L. Laureano is simple, in essence, but has further meanings as well.
Overall, this panel sounds great! You really just need to build on the basics you have here and show what about the individual characteristics of the panel gives it a "further meaning".
one can draw that Laureano was a of Puerto Rican & American culture
Instead of culture, the word 'heritage' may be clearer. A great research idea could be on the popular American and Puerto Rican culture while Laureano was alive. This is another opportunity for deeper research into the panel and material culture.
The panel is makes up 6 x 3 feet, on a 12 x 12 feet block, this is the size of all of the panels, no more no less.
This is just a simple grammatical error. "The panel makes up 6 x 3 feet on a 12 x 12 feet block. This is the size of all of the panels--no more no less"
Monroe portrait depicts a sense of inspiration and time.
What would make Marilyn Monroe inspirational to Laureano? What cultural influence did she have at the time of his death? You could probably add some research on that in a separate section specific to that detail on the quilts.
On the panel sits various images including the American and Puerto Rican flags, a baby chick, a palm tree, and a portrait of Marilyn Monroe.
This would also be a great place to do some secondary research. Why is there a baby chick by the palm tree? Why is the American flag and Puerto Rican flag separate, since Puerto Rico is a part of America? (I'm Puerto Rican and there's definitely political information that would explain why.)
On the panel sits various images including the American and Puerto Rican flags, a baby chick, a palm tree, and a portrait of Marilyn Monroe
For each of these, you may want to cover them individually so that you can have more description.
The words on the panel are written in bold, gold lettering. The gold is of a light essence, giving a feel of elegance as well as humility.
I like how you touch of the effect the color/font of the words on the viewer. Maybe you should add a close up photo here to let the viewer see the lettering themselves.
On the right-hand base of the rainbow lay three hills made of different patches. These patches contain the 44 names t and other designs. Most of the names have been shortened to first and last initial. Each patch contains a different style and color. For example, KB’s patch is a white patch with pink letters. Between the initial is a gold cross encased in what appears to be a black for leaf clover. Unlike KB’s patch Marc’s patch has a mustard-yellow background with lime-green letters and red car.
Within this description, you could describe more the examples that you gave and how they related to the others.
Below the center of the rainbow there are a couple of things; the first is the sun. This seems to be made of a circular, shiny, yellow fabric. The sun is either rising or setting above a purple mountain. Some of the mountain peaks are sharp and jagged while others are slightly dull. Within the mountain case lies a multi-level gray and white building.
In this specific description you could also describe the buildings along the mountain just to go more detailed.
Directly above the ribbons are two white clouds. As opposed to the painted-on rainbow, these clouds appear to be extra layers of fabric laying on top of the sky. One is about a foot across and three to four inches in width. The other cloud is about three inches across and two inches in width. Both clouds contain a long, thin, wavy piece of shiny material. This material spans across almost the entire cloud. In the top right corner, there are three clouds with similar widths, lengths, fabrics and styles.
Looking inside the clouds, I wonder what are the figures inside it, if they are figures. Maybe you would like t describe or talk more about those.
As stated before, the rainbow is an immediate eye-catcher. It is composed of 6 colors include red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and indigo, and it arcs across most of the teal-colored sky. It appears to be painted on rather than sewn into the underlying fabric. The rainbow is rather large. It spans about 4 feet across the quilt, and it is about 2 feet in height. Since it is made of 6 colors, it is also rather thick. It appears to be 6 inches in diameter On the left-hand base of the rainbow are 26 red ribbons about an inch in length and a half inch in width. They are placed in a diagonal positions, so that they are curved along the rainbow.
Really good description, good work on describing everything about this piece of the panel.
NAMES projected in May of 1994.
I would do the same here too, just add a little bit more of information about the Names Project so the reader is more clear about what you are talking about.
The AIDS quilt was created to commemorate those who died from contracting AIDS. Family and friends of victims designed panels in ways they felt best represent the loved ones they lost.
In this sentence I would add more information about the Aids Quilt.
This speak of how strong an individual really is who can struggle within their own minds and face the world without having to demand attention.
It seems that there this is a weird portion within this sentence where you go from "-really is who can..."
Below the sky are several grey/dark lavender mountains. Most of the mountains are about the size of a fist, except the mountain slightly of center. This particular mountain is slightly larger are a bit to the left of the panel. The light is resting on it and in its center is a text. Browns and Greens make up valleys and tiny hills pushing the mountain more into the background.
Once again, amazing job describing what you saw on the quilt. You're giving the reader a great visual image in their head about the subject you are talking about. Good job.
The quilt’s border is made of a plain white cotton material. The fabric itself is quite soft, similar to regular cotton pillow cases. However, it is slightly thicker and very opaque. There are no other decorations on this border, the only exception are shiny gold cords on the border of the panels sown on either side of the quilt.
You've made an excellent description of the materials used on the quilt. I enjoyed reading this because it was vivid, easy enough to read yet descriptive enough to please a scholar. Not only that but it was short and sweet without leaving out any wild details.
“Material culture refers to the physical objects, resources, and spaces that people use to define their culture.” (“Material and Non Material.” Cliffnotes.com. web. 2/15/2018).
Although the quotes and the parenthetical citation is respected in this sentence, it could've been more credible if you were to cite back to Sophie Woodward's writing of Material Culture, as we worked on the lesser readings of Haltman in the past.
The Material Culture this primary source description is based on comes from Block number 4161.
"The Material Culture this primary source..." seems to be a grammar error, however this can simply become fixed with a small edit. Happens to the best of us.
Lets talk about the beginning of the 1980’s. In 1981 prince Charles married princess Diana and AIDS get recognized by the centers for Disease control and prevention. In 1983 Michael Jackson released the hit thriller and scientist found the virus HIV which causes AIDS.
This was a solid intro, however, the subject of prince Charles marrying princess Diana and Michael Jackson releasing thriller are somewhat off-topic compared to the topic of AIDS. I see what you were trying to accomplish however, it can/may seem confusing to some readers.
Cude’s panel is in the lower right hand corner, figured vertically.
It's a great idea to have the full quilt but it would have been nicer if you had a full image of the panel too I was sort of confused as to where the panel was in the beginning. The more pictures the better.
The two halves are made apparent by the differing uses of space, images, and colors.
You could also talk about the different types of patterns and shapes you see. Maybe what they they mean or even if they made it like this for abstract reasons, or because Ray Crude was an artist.
Directly below the cross is an old photograph with the caption
You could also try to explain what's happening in the picture more like what are they holding in their hands where does it seem like they are, maybe you could try to find out when the picture looks like it was taken.
The NAMES Project is a nonprofit organization that was founded in San Francisco, California in the year 1987 by a man named Cleve Jones.
I liked how you went in depth into the NAMES Project and what they do as well as gave an example of another one of their quilts. That's how it should be for your pictures go into as much info as you can. Background information about objects and things help too.
In the bottom left corner there is an image of cowboy boots and a cowboy hat.
Maybe take a closer picture of the boots and cowboy hat, also there's like a white box with blue boarder it looks like it says something but I cannot tell. Not sure if you talked about it either but you should take a closer picture of it as well. It'd be better if you took more pictures of all the objects so we can see, people with bad eye sight such as myself would have a hard time looking at the pictures.
It begins with a list of organizations Cude was associated with, such as various musical groups, a church, and a bank, his place of employment.
You should take a closer picture of all the organizations cause I'd love to read it myself.
“Tommy Ray 1942-1992.”
The panel itself is about Ray Crude then who is Tommy Ray? Is there any infomration about I'd love to know why his name was also listed. Maybe he was apart of the trio.
“The Tripple-Aires Trio.”
You could try to go more in depth with them, like see if they were popular back in the day or even known at all. That'd be pretty interesting if it was an actual band that played at different kinds of places.
Upper Half Collage Cross
This picture is blurry I think it would be best to retake it so we can see what's within the picture better.
Birds like on the corners of Tom’s panel
This is just a note to remind Ms. Rose that Jordan S. couldn't do my peer review because I didn't start my PSD 1 yet.
The planes represent toms love for flying and the hope that Tom is still flying in heaven, spreading his radiance and love.
I also made a similar interpretation in my panel which had a kite flying in the sky instead of an airplane. I interpreted that it could symbolize words of encouragement.
Airplane makes me wonder how he was related to planes, what his job was.
I agree. I believe his career or hobby could be related to flying planes because the plane seems to be a more significant part of the panel, and I can't think of any other reason it would be there. However, there is also a British flag (I think) on the airplane. Was he in the military? Is he British?
Panel has a sun, clouds and airplane making me feel the panel is supposed to be set in the air. Bon Voyage Tom gives a feeling of a positive, airborne send off. Birds in the four corners give an even more airborne feel.
The panel I'm working on is very similar being that it's set in the air and has the theme of a sky. Is the sky theme a common theme? It might be considering that it has a very bittersweet vibe to it.
three cotton pieces could represent the three entities needed to pass along the aids virus. Two pieces representing the two people needed, as well as one piece representing the virus being passed along.
This is a very unique point of view. I would've never thought about that deep symbolism being a possible interpretation of the panel.
also could represent clouds over his life.
I like that you used the word "could" here. It clarifies that the connection you made is only a possibility and opens up space to more interpretation.
It is created colorful and bright as that is the impact that those who knew Tom believed that he made.
This is a good connection, but I think you should use words like "could be" when analyzing the reason behind your observations.
This was created in 2005 when Tom Bado died from AIDS.
I like the small background information you gave. It would be helpful to those who aren't already acquainted with this project.
Utilizing this short poem as a rhetorical strategy enable him to deliver to the audience a sense of how it feels to lose someone extremely close to you. Furthermore, this poem also shows how hard and difficult it is for thousands of people to lose their lovers and that there should be something done about this issue. The colors used in this letter also portrays the sense and mourning described in the poem.
I like this connection you have made from John Molina. With a little bit more analysis, you could connect this to the HIV/AIDS movement in general.
The letter E contains a section of the American flag; where it can only be seen five stars of the 50 ones within the flag. The first letter D includes a message that reads: “We love you” along the curvature of this letter within a light purple background in this specific letter. On the send letter D, there is a printed drawing of a house leaning top of a dark green hill and has a path connecting to the bottom of it. Along with this path, there is a writing that reads ” Hill of Happiness.” At the left upper corner of this letter, the sun is standing painted with a pure yellow and one cloud. The letter I is composed of different line segments which contain different names of his beloved ones along with a heart drawn where the point of the letter I is. On the letter E, there is a poem titled: “I’ve been missing you, and all I do is cry…”
Each letter could have its own section. You could add more detail of the size of the letters, but I like some the descriptions you already have.
This poem was dedicated by his lover, John Molina, and portrays many of the emotions that John has gone through after losing Eddie.
You could make this a new section as part of your secondary research. You could talk about the history or meaning of the poem. A link to the poem could also be inserted here.
At the bottom of the panel is its date of birth and death patched with individuals letters which are printed in grey
Once again, this could probably be a whole new section. Some more details you could add are the size of the letters or the way they are on the quilt (sewn or painted)
At the sides of the panel, there are four pictures, two at each side, of Eddie with his beloved ones. These four images are patched and printed on the sides of the panel
I would gives some more description here. What is Eddie doing with his loved ones? What is he wearing? What is the scenery in the photos? Also, it would be better to make this a whole new paragraph. You could also put the photos in next to this.
The framework of Eddie’s panel is composed of cotton fabric and a solid black background which allows other brilliant colors to stand out
I would insert an image of the panel to allow the audience to see what you are seeing.