This image would describe me because I love shopping!

I can feel your excitement here, but think you might convey that with an exclamation point in lieu of all caps. All caps seems REALLY LOUD :)

Long term plans convey your seriousness and vision for yourself.

If you can, you might share some of your pre-ed work experience. This often conveys seriousness and valuable experience coming into the classroom.

big audience! may shape the tags you use to categorize posts as they accumulate. maybe some are more for some folks than others?

You have had a lot of experience for a sophomore! For all the different age groups you've worked in and block experiences under your belt you might share a focused detail about each one or link to the schools where you've interned to give more depth to these "references."

This connection to your mother is instant credibility! You might list some of the ways you helped her out here (perhaps err on the unexpected or concrete side of things to keep our attention) to make this story stick and begin to establish your authority from a very young age.

This is a great start. I hear your hopes, your credibility and authority (long past and present line of ELA eds), and your love (quote). Be sure to use the visual affordances of the webtext and consider hyperlinking, even if it's to your favorite author's open online collection or your goodreads feed (just a shot in the dark, but brainstorming here with you).

I love your story and want you to continue to sharpen it. I think it speaks volumes. Explaining what you felt in this moment, what appealed to you, how it shaped your vision might take this story one step closer to really helping your reader get a sense of your motivations from this moment.

Clear, long-term, multi-tiered goals demonstrate your level of focus, intensity, and vision for yourself.

This detail conveys your seriousness as a student and your marketability in a city full of bilingual folks.

I like this mention of your home alongside a pic of yourself in Chicago (for those who recognize the bean :) ). Inserting a caption or referencing this juxtaposition might clarify the selection for outside audiences. They seem to convey your love for cities and your movement beyond Austin.

Show this a bit more, if you keep it here. I feel like there is a one sentence story possible (see Ruben's page for an example)

Worth another sentence, I think, to establish your cultural connection.

These images and this caption speak volumes about experience you are getting in the field. They go above and beyond the about page assignment.

I get a sense of your purpose. I wonder if you might define your audience just a bit more, for your writerly sake :)

I have an instant image of this routine in my mind. This is such a quick story and it contributes to your credibility and authority as a physical educator. You've got to display your lifelong learning and identity as a physically active person and you're doing it, concretely and credibly.

I love the pics and the captions help us understand their connection to the messages above and how they take use even closer to you. I am wondering about their placement on the page. Is there a way to break up the text or move beyond the centered alignment for the whole page? It feels awkward.

Obligatory dog pic, please!

Immediate credibility and a rationale for sharing this in relation to your future as an educator. Well-stated.

This gives me a feel for the casual tone you're working to strike, but I'm wondering if given the initial clause about letting us in on a secret, you might end the sentence with a ... for drama instead and to fend off some of the more conservative audience members who might judge you for using emoticons as a teacher (I don't, but have their imaginary lenses on my shoulder as I read).

I love the pallette of the whitewashed fence and your image below. They're aligned, so to speak. That being said, the mint green of the title of the page gets a little lost. I wonder if you might bump it up and provide a bit more contrast.

I appreciate that you're speaking to me as an audience. This is also giving me a sense of how you will use this site right now (purpose), to check in and consider the road to your first position as you move through the st. ed's program.

Unexpected fun fact is concrete, credible, and story-like.

Sounds like a real inspiration. I wonder if you might quote her? I am also looking at this and wondering about balance. How can we fit you and your strengths back into this page before we leave it, as readers? Is there a way to bring us back to you through a moment mentioning the image or the metaphor it might illustrate, experience it conveys about you and who you are as an educator? (just brainstorming)

Having a multi-tiered, detailed plan really establishes your credibility as a serious student of special education.

I agree with Brooke and Christen that you've got a nice framework here to develop. The picture tells a story, invites us into your family (I'm guessing, but a caption would clarify that) and your final line referencing your role in the family helps us learn about this familial role and the connection you see between it and your future as an educator. Now it's time to take things to the next level and share some of those specifics like your certificate level, perhaps an inspiration, a mentor, a quote, something about what you hope this site might do for your future students or their families. All these potential details will establish your credibility and begin to convey your authority.