A direct, “you seem” statement might work with your own kid, but for an adult, it might feel like labeling, which can trigger defensiveness or an emotional shutdown. The goal is to encourage the other person to open up about how they’re doing by showing you care, so frame your observation in a way that won’t make them feel judged or misinterpreted.Instead, couch your observation with softer, curiosity-driven language. Mia Rosenberg, a therapist and the owner of Upsider Therapy, recommends the “I’ve noticed that” and “I’m wondering” formula. For example, you could say, “I’ve noticed that you’re quieter lately; I’m wondering if you’re stressed?”
"You seem" might work on a child but can be seen as labeling when used on an adult.
Instead use "I've noticed that" and "I'm wondering". Also observe body language.
Do not say "You look tired" because that can seem mean to someone struggling. Instead use emotion focused words such as burned out or frustrated.