17 Matching Annotations
  1. Dec 2023
    1. https://werd.io/2023/doing-it-all

      Interesting to see what, in generations past, might have been a gendered (female) striving for "having it all" (entailing time with children, family and a career) has crossed over into the masculine space.

      Sounds like Ben's got some basic priorities set, which is really the only thing necessary. Beyond this, every parent, especially of new babies, in the W.E.I.R.D. culture is tired. By this measurement he's doing it "right". What is missing is an interpersonal culture around him of extended family and immediate community of daily interaction to help normalize his conditions. Missing this he's attempting to replace the lack of experience with this area by reaching out to his online community, which may provide a dramatically different and biased sample.

      Some of the "it takes a village" (to raise a child) still operates on many facets, but dramatically missing is the day-to-day direct care and help that many parents need.

      Our capitalistic culture has again, in this case of parenting in the W.E.I.R.D. world, managed to privatize the profits and socialize the losses. Here the losses in Ben's case are on his physical well-being (tiredness) and his mental state wondering if his case is "normal". A further loss is the erosion of his desire for a family unit and cohesion of community which the system is attempting to sever by playing on his desire to "have it all". Giving in to the pull of work at the expense of family only drives the system closer to collapse.

  2. Nov 2022
    1. And so I’m blogging this to reflect on and record this dynamic, so I never forget this idea of trying the snack break ahead of a “peer feedback” session.

      Providing a snack break before a peer feedback classroom session can dramatically improve the interactions during it.

      This is not dissimilar to conferences providing socializing and snacking time/spaces both at the start of the event and throughout the day.

  3. Jun 2022
    1. what we find and what we have found and partly why i wrote the book is the trick with illusions is your brain is certain it knows what the group thinks so if just being told it with data that it's not true it the number of times people 00:19:45 say man i i wish it were true but i know it's not and you're like so what we found our strategy we felt like is when the more that people came to understand 00:19:57 the phenomenon of collective illusion the more likely it is that they were willing to take new data and say okay wait now that i know that this is possible and i know that like i can't really trust my brain to tell me what the group thinks they 00:20:10 were open to good data where otherwise it just seemed like the data itself like and if you think about it like how many other organizations have shown us like look how much common ground we have and yet it doesn't seem to move the need so our bet is to socialize the concept of 00:20:24 collective illusions get people to understand this and then hopefully we can now start to have the conversation with data about who we really are as a people i mean like to me it's it's it's incumbent on us to actually meet people 00:20:36 where they are and and i think this is an important concept so it's on me to try to communicate in a way that people understand and can relate to

      Deep education of the concept of collective illusion by referring to their reference systems is critical...meet them where they are and scaffold on ideas they are familiar with.

  4. Oct 2021
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  8. Nov 2020
    1. simple as tacking on an “I could be wrong, but” at the beginning, or an “Am I off base?” at the end. “This way, you provide an out so the other person can deny they feel that way,” she says, and give them a chance to correct the record by sharing what’s actually going on, if they choose.

      You don't have to be right about your observation, you just have to try. This shows that you are trying, that you are willing to empathize.

      So it is important to make your observation but also give space for them to talk about their feelings. How can you do that? Well you can say: "Am I off base?", "Correct me if I'm wrong"

    2. A direct, “you seem” statement might work with your own kid, but for an adult, it might feel like labeling, which can trigger defensiveness or an emotional shutdown. The goal is to encourage the other person to open up about how they’re doing by showing you care, so frame your observation in a way that won’t make them feel judged or misinterpreted.Instead, couch your observation with softer, curiosity-driven language. Mia Rosenberg, a therapist and the owner of Upsider Therapy, recommends the “I’ve noticed that” and “I’m wondering” formula. For example, you could say, “I’ve noticed that you’re quieter lately; I’m wondering if you’re stressed?”

      "You seem" might work on a child but can be seen as labeling when used on an adult.

      Instead use "I've noticed that" and "I'm wondering". Also observe body language.

      Do not say "You look tired" because that can seem mean to someone struggling. Instead use emotion focused words such as burned out or frustrated.

  9. Sep 2020
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  11. Jul 2020