it was sort of a little bit secret you know tantra had this tendency of hearing about esoteric you know secret because it just goes against the grain 00:06:55 of the of our backward world where we are supposed you know where we think where we're taught to expect to be miserable and therefore we feel safe when we are and if we ever feel really happy we 00:07:07 think something's going to go wrong and then we get nervous you know we're programmed like that