11 Matching Annotations
  1. Sep 2022
    1. use logos wellthroughout, provided with credible ethos, they fail to have strong pathos within their writing.

      Aristotle's rhetorical appeals are essence to any convincing paper but ideally I would like to see you elucidate on each of these three by possibly spreading them throughout. For instance, you could use the next annotated paragraph to display Ethos.

    2. Source:

      Overall I think you are on the right track to a great paper. The grammar was accurate, cleanly codified , the abundant use of appeals; all are exemplary. Few run-on sentences and syntax/readability issues that can easily be buffed out to make a felicitous rhetorical analysis.

    3. The key wordsthat draw you to the reading withing these two sentences are “positive” and “this is greatnews”.

      Within? There is no end quotation mark for the end of his sentence verbatim. "This is great news, as a satisfying sex life has been found to be important for health and well-being, regardless of age. For older adults in particular, being sexually active predicts a longer and healthier life."

    4. finding the use of well used pathos was slim. There was weakverbiage where one is not drawn into the writing. The strongest use of pathos included thesetwo sentences

      Brilliant! After reading essay 28, I cant concur more. No hook in the beginning to draw you in and no appeal to the values of the psychology student audience; feels likes a science paper. It's vital to account for the strengths and weakness of the rhetoric, not only for self-actualization but to springboard into an appeal breakdown. Good job!

    5. Miri Forbesis a postdoctoral research fellow in psychiatry and psychology at the University of Minnesota,Nicholas Eaton is the Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychology at Stony Brook University,and Robert Kruger is the professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota. They arequalified to write and provide information through logo

      Great build of the Ethos of our authors; I would only change the last sentence since it's the definition of an Accomplishment Fallacy. When an argument is defended from criticism based upon the level of accomplishment of it's authors. Everyone is qualified to write and provide information regardless of accolades.

    6. Satisfying sex life hasbeen found to be important for health and well-being, regardless of age.

      Consider A satisfying sex life is important for health and well-being, regardless of age for the diminution of verbiage and the missing determiner.

    7. “The positive relationship between sexual quality of life and aging wasstrongest in the context of good-quality romantic relationships, where sexual exploration anda focus on partners’ pleasure is more likely to take place” (Forbes, Eaton, Kruger 2022pg.186). And “This is great news, as a satisfying sex life has been found to be important forhealth and well-being, regardless of age (Forbes, Eaton, Kruger 2022 pg.187). The key wordsthat draw you to the reading withing these two sentences are “positive” and “this is greatnews”

      I feel like there are four paragraph long quotes relatively close together. I thought this analysis was internalizing the work and putting the rhetoric into your own words, if not I need some quotes lol.

    8. Forbes, Eaton, Kruger 2022 pg.186). Miri, Nicholas, and Robert stated

      Great job sourcing the material you're referencing but I believe in redundancy: the audience knows what you're analyzing so you should be able to just state the page numbers without repeating the author's names.

    9. excepted

      who accepted to complete an extensive survey? Excepted means to exempt from the group or category, and that doesn't line up with the source rhetoric. "We analyzed patterns in longitudinal data collected from over 6,000 individuals followed over a period of 18 years, spanning ages 20-93"

    10. had better sexual quality

      I believe this phrase is missing a determiner: -had a/the better sexual quality of life

    11. targeting an audience of psychology students

      I love that you're thinking about the authors intentions and the rhetoric they're using to establish the target audience.

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