You need to add a paragraph about the main takeaways of the chapter. You also need an image.

You need images on this page.

Remove bold text.

You need images on this page.

Ditto.

You've got until Monday to add this info.

The maps need captions.

Is should be are.

statement--not plural.

Edit this sentence to: A 2000 study took a closer look at the difference between the quality of care in for-profit and nonprofit hospitals.

The chart needs a caption.

Clinic's

Clinics should be "Clinic's"

Clinic's

To make this caption consistent with the next page, bold this.

Get rid of the bold body text to make it consistent with the rest of the chapter.

Add author photos and bios.

Center the title Works Cited.

Capitalize the word philanthropy in the title. Replace your storyboard photo with a more professional-looking chart. Shift the text to precede the chart and expand on the takeaway/so-what factor of the chapter.

This page needs another visual element.

Great image, Lillian! You're a great artist! Can you bring the caption giving you credit as the artist closer to the image?

In addition to providing the contents on this page, add a short text introduction that give a reader a sense of the arc of the chapter--kind of like providing a road map in a thesis statement in a paper. One this you'll want to stress in the introduction is that the structure of the chapter juxtaposes effective and ineffective NGOs in different parts of the world.

All your images need captions.

Capitalize philanthropy in your title.

You need more content on this page.

You could use another visual element on this page.

Name the author of the book *Why Philanthropy Matters.

The caption on the map of the developing/developed world is awkward. Change to: The green areas on this map indicate the location of developing countries.

You need a caption for your key image.

The highlighted sentence is a comma splice. Start a new sentence at "however," This short paragraph could serve as the introduction I mentioned on your first page. I would move it there.

Add Brie's photo and bio. Use Works Cited instead of Sources to be consistent with the other chapters.

Nice bio Jaidyn!

I really like the use of the key image and the one-sentence description of the section. It would be good to do this consistently for each section of the chapter.

Get rid of the 3 in the titles of your pages.

Why not put the introduction on this page? Make sure the introduction gives the reader a sense of the arc of the chapter--kind of like the road map of the thesis so your pages don't seem like a disconnected hodge-podge.

In addition to adding your bios with pics and the Works Cited, add a path to the next chapter:

Continue to Chapter 3: Healthcare

You need images and/or interactive elements on this page.

Ditto comment on previous page. There's also something wrong with your pathing--it just toggles back and forth between the two graphs.

As we discussed in class, the graph is not readable. It also needs a caption.

Benefits is misspelled. You need text to explain the chart.

Your title needs to reference the arts. For example: How the Arts Contribute to Social Infrastructure of Communities.

You need to italicize the title of Klinenberg's book.

Your images need captions. Love the juxtapose image!

In your text, place a period after each use of Dr. Good job of connecting text to video clip. Why do you have two insertions of the interview video?

Pie Chart needs a caption. This page needs another visual component--too text heavy.

Be sure to provide a caption for the Ted Talk clip. You should have another image on this page--it is text heavy.

You need images or graphics on this page. Can you combine this introduction and your title page--that would solve the problem. The content of the introduction is good--it gives the reader the arc of the chapter.

Get rid of the bolding of your body text.

Add a path to the next chapter: Continue to Chapter 2: The Arts

I assume you will add a key image here. In general, your chapter is good text-wise, but you have a lot of work to do to add interactive visual elements.

This is hilarious—I love it! Place a period after Nebraska.

Add a caption to the interview.

Your second image has no caption. All images, charts, video clips, etc. should have captions that relate them to the text.

Capitalize English. Will we have a photo of Ana? You need captions under Chloe and Christelle's photos like you have under Ben's.

Love the goldendoodle.

Revise the highlighted text to: In sum, this chapter has addressed issues related to philanthropy for developing countries.....

Revise "should be made from both sides to: both donors and recipient communities should be reflective about about what the true needs are.

In the next sentence, get rid of the redundancy of develop and country.

"go to an end" is confusing. Do you mean: White saviorism and voluntourism need scrutiny and should cease if they do more harm than good?

"should be taken" should be "are necessary"

Make the size and font of all your headings consistent throughout the chapter.

In the first paragraph, "based off" should be "based upon."

Your images on this page need captions. Capitalize each word in The Brain Drain Effect. Do the same with your next header: Consequences of the Brain Drain....

Yikes, a totally awkward and unnecessary use of the passive voice here. Say it simply: According to a new PEW Research Center Analysis, the proportion of immigrants.....

Regarding the blurb on Samantha Nutt, you do a good job of establishing her authority and credibility, but you don't indicate what she has to say about the problems of volunteer tourism as your heading promises.

This page is text dominant. You need another image or two and perhaps make the cartoon larger. Also give it a caption. You should also name a few voluntour organizations.

How about changing the word "Indeed" to "However,"?

You need more images on this page.

Redundancy of the words develop and country is confusing. Compare to: The strong influence that wealthy nations have on developing countries and the dependency that results is controversial.

I won't comment on this issue again so be sure to remove the chapter and page numbers from all you title pages. When you do that on this page, the title and heading "Dependency" will appear redundant, so come up with a different heading, something like: How Dependency Happens.

The Percent per country of export earnings is good, but can you make it bigger so that it is easier to read? Same with the status of economy map. I like your hyperlinking with the text, though!

Since this is a new chapter, starting your text with "Another..." is confusing. You could be more specific by saying something like: Beyond the borders of our nation, nonprofit organizations that help communities in developing countries also depend upon philanthropy to thrive. SEE THE DIFFERENCE?

Retitle this page to get rid of the chapter and page number and to introduce the reader to the topic of the chapter--something like: Introduction to Philanthropy for Developing Countries.

The map needs a caption that ties it to the textual content.

Caption for crowdfunding image.

"Controversies with GoFundMe is a heading--format it consistently with your other headings--bold, change font color and make it larger.

Especially since the page has no introductory text, you need a caption under the 8 Years Strong video. Great video choice though!

Your image on this page also needs a caption that links it to your textual discussion.

This image has no caption and is not readable. I suggest making and inserting a chart of the responses to your questionnaire.

I love your idea of polling students, though!

True causes of what? This is a new page, so don't assume the reader knows.

In the text, change "in a better position" to "in a more secure position"--it's more specific. In the next line, the period should go inside the quotation mark. You have other instances where you make this error. Check the chapter for the problem. Change "would care to disagree" to "adamantly disagrees." OR identify yourself as Stephanie's son to be consistent with your first person reference to yourself in the caption of the images of the shelter. Great use of a true story!

Don't italicize "Video detailing...." and capitalize each major word in that title. Also Don't indent starting with Video--it should be flush with the left margin.

The font color of this highlighted text (Below is a map...) is to light--it washes out on the screen. Use a color that contrast more with the white background.

You map needs a caption that relates it to the text.

According to whom? You don't need to use a MLA citation, but you should say where you got these statistics.

Add a space between your first and second paragraphs. no need for the double and single quotation marks around City Mission. Put quotes around "It's not great!" then change the wording to "As evidence, Buxton referred to an Annual Report on home insecurity in Cleveland. Some of its statistics include: Can you indent the specific stats? And you should use the same bullet pointing that you used above to keep the style consistent. This consistency overhaul applies to the entire chapter.

Make the first caption more specific--when and where did this demonstration take place?

Your definition of homelessness is extremely wordy. Try: Homelessness is simply the lack of stable and appropriate housing. Remember: with writing, less is more.

Case Western Clubs should be "Case Western Reserve University" Clubs. There after you can refer to the university as CWRU.

For the caption, who is making the presentation?

I don't think you need to include the contact information for the organizations you list. But do include their logos.

Typo here--no apostrophe. Same thing with next line and in the first line of your text.

In your final paragraph which explains the structure and purpose of your chapter, replace "you" with "readers"--remember, we don't use "you" in academic writing.

Finally, why is the first page of Chapter 6 in your list of contents? It's not your content. Just have a path to Chapter 6 on the last page of your chapter.

You need to get rid of the Chapter and page numbers in all you page titles to make it consistent with the rest of the book. Your names (not your bios) should appear after the chapter title (see what the other groups have done). Where I highlighted "topics in," you should delete the word "in" and replace it with a colon.

I like how you started the chapter with a poll!

Use a consistent font throughout the chapter and get rid of the bolding for the body text.

"Interest" should be "impact."

For Hanan's bio, Start the text below Lauren's photo so that it doesn't look like a continuation of Lauren's information.

Great bios!

Your Charles Haynes quotation needs a caption. Otherwise, nice page.

I don't think any of your other heading are italicized. Be consistent with your formatting.

For consistency, capitalize each major word in your titles. The Bush video clip is great and you tie it to your text very well. Make sure you caption it though.

Comma after summarize. Add captions to the charts.

Good linkage between text reference and the video clip about the Cleveland Ramadan Fundraiser.

Good quote from the Quran, but the image needs a caption. Same goes for all your images, charts, and video clips. "Committing" should be "performing.

You need to edit your interview--it should not be 20 minutes long. You can cut out the statistics at the beginning since you recap that information in the text on this page.

Where is your works cite and about the authors page?

I know you said you have a lot of this done outside of Scalar, but it's time to get it up and running now. I can't help you if I can't see what you've got.

Get rid of bold for the text. Obviously, you know you need images and interactive media on this page.

This is a good page.

Get rid of 7: You guys have a lot of work to do between here and the end of the chapter.

Get rid of 8:

Get rid of 9:

Be sure to add a path: Continue to Chapter 2. Get rid of 10:

Get rid of 4: Again--add media to this page. This project is not a paper--it is an interactive book that has visual as well as textual narrative.

Get rid of the 3: Typo in the highlighted text. Caption needed for the image.--Good image though. How about an interactive feature on this page. Can you include a video clip of Bill or Melinda Gates talking about education?

Where is the media on this page? It's all text.

Is this highlighted sentence a quotation? If so, identify who said it. Make the fonts consistent. Add the missing citation. Put a caption under the picture of LeBron.

Generally a good introduction! Get rid of 0: Fix link to YouTube clip amount of children should be "number of children" Put caption under the YouTube insert.

You need some text to explain these graphics.

The juxtapose map is VERY cool!

The video clip is too long. Annotate it so that only the most important part shows up--no more the three minutes.

You have to indicate where you got these quotations--just like an in-text citation.

Capitalize Civil Right Movement

TITLE: Capitalize Is, and put a question mark at the end.

How fun to include your pictures like this!

In general, your chapter is coming along very well. Try to give your reader a clearer sense of the connections between pages. You can do that with a road map in a brief introduction at the beginning and providing textual transitions at the start of each page.

I'm also thinking that since you are the last chapter, that you need to include a conclusion that wraps up the entire book. I put your chapter last because, in a sense, all the other philanthropic sectors del with (or should be dealing with) social justice too. You might make that point in a concluding paragraph.

Obviously, you need to build some text into this page. Also, give your images captions.

Nice annotating of the first image. Can you also include a caption?

At the end of this page, which does a good job of defining this philanthropic sector, include a road map--a brief description of what you aim to do in this chapter.

Very powerful title page!

You should be able to combine the About the Authors and the Works Cited pages.

You are joint authors of this chapter. Take individual references to yourselves out of the chapter and just identify who you are in the About the Authors section.

Good use of images on this page. Add captions to them, though.

Great use of statistics on this page. And I like the hyperlink to the Barna Group.

If you can, you should get your names out of the pathing.

Can you include some interactive elements on this page? How about a hyperlink? Or annotate the images to explain what they are about?

You should have a splash image and a brief introduction on this page that explains what you're trying to achieve in this chapter.

Perhaps you could combine the "About the Authors" page and the Works Cited.

This page has much better structure and flow.

In general, your chapter needs connectors or transitions--both between pages and within the content of each page. Make your reader aware of the logic of how you're structuring your chapter. Think of it as the roadmap and the transitions you would use in an essay.

Nice annotating of the chart. Include a caption as well.

Are you planning to also include the interview on this page since you make reference to it?

Obviously, you need to add other modes to this page. Why not provide some examples of social service nonprofits and then include their logos and even links to their websites?

This is a nice splash page. Can you include an brief overview of what you're trying to achieve in this chapter. It serves the same purpose as a road map in a thesis statement.

Add a path to the next chapter.

I would make the image bigger--it's too small to read the fine print. Also, give it a caption and make a reference to it in the text of the page.

In the leadership paragraph, line 3, it should read: "will often get a change to become leaders." And line 4, since you have a lot of "leads" in the paragraph, why not say, "this means starring in a play, or becoming the squad....., etc.

In the las paragraph about budget cuts, you begin the sentence with "However," which implies "on the other hand," which is not what I think you mean. I suggest starting that sentence with "Furthermore."

Put the comma inside the quotation mark after "the show must go on." The one sentence paragraph "While the arts...." needs elaboration.

Why not include links to the nonprofit examples your include here.

You could probably combine this page with the previous one.

You'll need a splash image and and introduction on this page that provides an overview of what you're trying to accomplish with this chapter.

In the last line of the first paragraph. Put the period inside the quotation mark.

Include another path that leads to the next chapter.

If you can, you should edit out the first part of the interview and begin with the part when you start to pose your questions.

I also think you could expand the text on this page to summarize some of the highlights of the interview.

The interview itself is very good--you asked good questions!

The prose needs some work in the first paragraph. Why say located in Cleveland in the second sentence when you provide that information in the first sentence? Be concise.

Instead of saying "hospital" twice in the second sentence, why not say: "UH is one of the nation's leading hospitals and ranks "3 in Ohio with 7 of their adult specialties, including Urology, Ear, Nose and Throat, and Cancer, ranking in the top fifty nationally.

This isn't really your opening, is it?

In the paragraph that starts "The pandemic," change "they have to" to "the entire sector as to."

Nice title page!

You will also want to add a path to the next chapter here.

The prose in the literacy section often does not make sense. You need to do extensive editing here. Simplify it.

Also, I would make the Illiteracy Info Poster larger and give it a caption.

Regarding the content on this page, you do a good job of identifying how social justice concerns are affecting education, but you say nothing about the philanthropic response to it. Are there nonprofit organizations that are trying to address the issues you identify?

To what does "this" refer?

Movement's --if you're referring to one movement;

Movements' --if you're referring to more than one movement.

I assume you will format this more effectively. You don't want to start a page with a link like this.

Movement's

This is a very effective video clip. But make a cross reference to it in the text of the page.

have a reliable internet connection

NEST is a great use of a specific example.

Provide meals where? In schools? At students' homes? At a pick-up location? At the nonprofit organization's headquarters?

Make this page your introduction. Use a splash picture and write a short overview of what your chapter will cover.

"Woud've" is informal; use more formal English for a project like this--"would have."

You need to annotate the TED talk so that only the most important 2-3 minutes is what shows. The video clip also needs a caption

You definitely have to annotate this video clip so that only a few important minutes of it shows up.

agreement

Contextualize this quotation.

You need to clarify that you're talking about middle and upper class women. Women in the lower classes worked too.

agreement

You need a caption for this.

Who's the speaker here?

Include a citation here.

This overlaps with earlier information. So say something to acknowledge that--e.g., As I'm sure you've heard,......

Be sure to caption all your images and video clips and list the SOURCE of that image.

Lots of editing to do here--avoid repetition of terms and phrases so close together and be careful of starting sentences with pronouns when it's not clear what that pronoun refer to.

These two photos would be more effective side by side.

Since an earlier chapter covers writing on clay in detail, I suggest that you change this wording to something like: "As I'm sure you know,....."

Last sentence is incomplete.

Be sure to caption your images and video clips and list the source--e.g., SOURCE: Google Images

postdate should be plural

Good info here, but you've lost the thread of the narrative.

What image are you going to use for your title page?

Here's an idea--why not find an audio clip of a reading of Plato's Symposium to insert?

Where's the citation for this quotationi?

Awkward. Try: This form lacked characteristics of modern written language: grammar, punctuation, sentences, and paragraphs.

Considering what follows, I think you have to include some visitor dialogue.

Normally, we avoid the word "you" in academic writing, although I understand why you're using it here. Also, refer to your images as figures. You can solve both problems by saying: Figure 1 offers a taste of what reading was like....

I assume you will precede this page with an introduction that identifies the theme of your chapter? The equivalent of a thesis statement.

Be precise with your word choices. How about, Magazines and newspapers use advertisements to lower the cost of printing as well as the cost to the customer. The rest of this page needs this kind of editing and revision. You should all read and help polish each other's pages.

Generally, you're doing a good job of transition to the next page.

Caption all you images and video clips.

Here you need to inform the reader of the theme of the chapter and describe how it is going to unfold. While you don't need a thesis statement like you would have in a paper, you do need to convey what your chapter is about and why the topic is worth investigating. Also, if you're going to have characters present the narrative, you need to introduce them.

What are you going to do for a title splash page?

You guys are behind here. Select an appropriate image for the splash page that introduces your chapter. And what is the title of your chapter? Don't miss these important opportunities to begin engaging your reader.

How about including pictures of each of you? Add a path to chapter 3.

I hope you'll think of a better title for this page than "Wrap-Up."

Who is speaking here? Identify interviewer and interviewee.

Be sure to caption your images and video clips and list the source of them as well.

You need an introduction that gives the reader a sense of the arc of your chapter. Look at what group 1 has done as an example.