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  1. Oct 2020
  2. rampages.us rampages.us
    Ashlyn-Senger_The-Great-Unequalizer.pdf
    5
    1. hatchettj 30 Oct 2020
      Gorski warns that the nature of American classism oftencauses ​well-intentioned teachers to stereotype poor students. In “Accuracy and Inaccuracy inTeachers’ Perceptions of Young Children’s Cognitive Abilities,” Columbia University professorsDouglas D. Ready and David L. Wright explain their study of teacher biases, which indicatedthat “students’ skills come to reflect teachers’ initial perceptions” (356).

      I believe the author could've done better here in eliminating the amount of background information on the source in an effort to get to the point. A possible option would've been to state "A study done by Columbia University indicated ... about the accuracy and inaccuracy of teachers' perceptions of young children cognitive abilities." Then proceed with the commentary or further source evidence if needed.

      evidence
    2. hatchettj 30 Oct 2020
      testing does “not significantly [narrow] national andstate level achievement gaps between white students and non-white students or gaps betweenrich and poor students”

      The way that the source is used here in the flow of the essay is a style choice that I believe increases the readability of the piece. Having the quote embedded into the flow of the authors own words instead of making a separate statement that houses the quote not only bodes well for transitions, but decreasing the need for drawn out subclaims.

      evidence
    3. hatchettj 26 Oct 2020
      ​The Atlantic​, explains in “A Different Approach toBreaking the Cycle of Poverty” that the lack of “access to a high-quality education,” known aseducation inequality, leads to a cycle of poverty in which those who grow up in low-incomefamilies “remain there ... despite the promise of the American Dream.”

      This citation does well for providing context from the beginning of the essay in order to better guide the reader through the commentary and supporting points. It's similar to setting the stage for the paragraph.

    4. hatchettj 26 Oct 2020
      can

      I believe the introduction can be a bit better, maybe offering more intriguing facts. With a topic such as this, there is bound to be a compelling anecdote as well that could've been utilized here.

    5. hatchettj 26 Oct 2020
      despite decades, if not centuries, of near-unanimous support, the UnitedStates government has not been successful in remedying the achievement gap between studentsfrom high-income and low-income backgrounds

      This is the main claim of the essay, that the US government hasn't closed the gap in achievement between socioeconomic groups.

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    rampages.us/vcuwrites/wp-content/uploads/sites/20034/2019/05/Ashlyn-Senger_The-Great-Unequalizer.pdf
  3. rampages.us rampages.us
    The Living Dead: An Analysis of Digital Ressurection
    4
    1. hatchettj 26 Oct 2020
      “Digital Heroes in Contemporary Hollywood: Exertion, Identification, and the Virtual Action Body”, the rise of CGI is resulting in the “death” of the live actor, who now is being taken over by the “synthespians” of the modern age

      The use of prior research to further explain the reasoning behind why the topic under review is unethical is a good way to increase credibility.

    2. hatchettj 26 Oct 2020
      If a dead celebrity is able to continue “acting” after his or her death, then what constitutes that person’s death in the first place? Are celebrities considered dead on a purely biological basis, or is their living status more defined by their appearance in the media?

      I think the essay can be improved by limiting the amount of rhetorical questions throughout the piece. Maybe opting for stronger assertions instead of the questions would be better.

    3. hatchettj 26 Oct 2020
      British actor Peter Cushing has been dead for 23 years. In August of 1994, the world bid farewell to this cultural icon, and all that was left to remember the man was the legacy that he had left behind. That is, until the release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story late last year. Astonishing, as if by magic, Peter Cushing had “risen from the dead”

      The introduction of this essay works very well in grabbing the readers attention with the "risen from the dead" component. Allows the reader to begin to ask how these things are possible and if it is right for them to be done.

    4. hatchettj 26 Oct 2020
      The practice of digital resurrection is a morally dubious one, and it very often results in unethical behavior.

      Here is the main claim of the essay. It is strengthened by the remainder of the paragraph that starts to give the reasons why the practice of digital resurrection is unethical.

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    rampages.us/tylerscheerschmidtessay/