there's 00:08:43 nothing there that could be secured and here's the important point I think we experienced that we experience it as a sense of lack 00:08:58 that is to say the sense that something is wrong with me something is missing something isn't quite right I'm not good enough and the reality is I think all of us to 00:09:14 some degree have some sense of that some sense of lack even though we might ignore it or cover it up there's there's some sense of that but because it's mostly sort of unconscious in the sense that we don't 00:09:29 really know where it comes from

by self-alienation what i mean um 01:25:35 is our being in profound confusion about who and what we are about having an idea of what we are that is totally at odds with our actual mode 01:25:48 of existence or nature that's what i mean so i'm alienated from myself when i think that i'm one thing but i'm really something else and these are various ways 01:26:01 of understanding the content of that self-alienation i think that i am toto generally different from the objects of my experience that there's me as pure subject that's one 01:26:14 kind of thing and there's that all of that stuff including all of you folks my computer screen that i'm looking at now my dog lying right next to me all of those things are merely object and i'm subject 01:26:28 so i think of myself as pure subject is like the eye in the visual field i know that that's not what i am i know that i'm an embedded embodied being in a network of dependent origination but i 01:26:40 don't experience myself that way that's a dimension of self-alienation i think of myself as a being that i know immediately that i know my sensations 01:26:52 just by having them i know what i think just by thinking it i know what my emotions are just by experiencing them and that none of that introspective experience none of that awareness is 01:27:04 mediated by anything and that's stupid because i know that the only way that i can know myself is through an introspective activity and that introspection is conceptually laden and that i can be self-deceived and that 01:27:18 my psychiatrist might know me much better than i know myself that my wife knows me better than i know myself and that my dog knows me better than i know myself so i know that i don't have that immediate awareness but i think of 01:27:29 myself as having it that's another dimension of self-alienation i think of myself as a free agent who can act in a way that's totally uncaused just by doing things because i will them 01:27:43 that i've got this free will that is unconstrained by causality i know that that's crazy i know that i'm a biological organism and that everything i do is caused by previous causes and conditions 01:27:55 but i don't experience myself that way that's another dimension of self-alienation i know that i am a plurality that i've got a brain with lots of different centers of activity lots of different 01:28:07 kinds of cognition happening at the same time of which i'm totally unaware visual processing auditory processing language processing emotions that are subliminal and so forth 01:28:18 sensations that i barely register i know that there's inner complexity but i experience it as a subject of unity that's another dimension of self-alienation all of these are ways that we fail to 01:28:31 know ourselves and all of them cascade from the illusion that we ourselves

self-alienation that is if i think that i'm a self but i'm really a person that i really don't know who i am just as if i thought that a dollar had 01:02:13 its value intrinsically in the value of the paper and the ink i wouldn't understand anything about finance currency or purchases