46 Matching Annotations
  1. Jan 2019
  2. www.correspoondence.com www.correspoondence.com
    1. A Division of Prevailing Trends, Inc.   IMPROVE YOUR "DOUGH"

      I like the catch phrase, but both of these feel like subtitles to Correspondence. Theres far too much space provided for each of them. Also listing a like to PTI seems very off as the first thing on the website. Maybe make it as a bar on the bottom of the site, or leave it on the contact page.

    2. I like each of the individual components of correspondence but their ability to mesh together confuses me immensely. The front page gives the impression that this is a ranking site, whereas the about would suggest its analytics for restaurants. The sites selling point should be clear from the front page, alongside testimonials and a contact form.

  3. www.correspoondence.com www.correspoondence.com
    1. Franklin Barbeque 900 E.11 St 512-653-1187

      Again, I feel like this is inline with the "Are we working with consumers in mind, or for company benefit" question, but I feel like for accessibility this could be redesigned to include pictures, website links, general quality of life additions.

    2. GEORGETOWN

      If this is being advertised as a Georgetown company (As suggested by the about page) Why is it at the bottom? Also this scrolling is awful. I feel like there should be a drop down bar form the top, or making everything vertical and less blindingly white.

  4. www.correspoondence.com www.correspoondence.com
    1. Take a sneak peek at some of our case studies to see what information we can provide to you.

      This section is good, but it can be embellished a little. "Correspoondence will survey the quality of "moments of truth" with your staff in a variety of formats. In person visits, phone evaluations, and website critiques are just a few areas in which Correspoondence collects data."

    1. Instructions (pdf)

      Giving reports on other restaurants is a legit business that we studied in Hotel and Restaurant Management at my school. You can sell products like this as part of your auditing process, but it's not something you'd want to provide in detail until AFTER they have agreed to either trial your services or become your client.

  5. www.correspoondence.com www.correspoondence.com
    1. Pete McRae, has an extensive background in food service and customer relations

      Hospitality might be a better term here. Also "Extensive background" may be downplaying it. If you listed the number of years he was working in food service it may have a much more resounding impression. Should the picture on the right be Pete? A picture of just "Georgetown Texas" Seems to rather limit our audience.

    2. improve and enhance a restaurant’s image and reputation among diners.

      A lot of my confusion and lack of clarity comes from the difference between this about page and the main page. The main page seems to focus on the ranking system that we provide, whereas the about focuses on analytics customer services.

    3. for both the customer and restaurant management.

      This really feels like a conflict of interests. Who's going to want to pay for their health inspection score to be posted online, or be ranked fourth compared to one of their competitors?

  6. www.correspoondence.com www.correspoondence.com
    1. Check Out Rankings

      This really gives the impression that Correspoondence is a ranking platform, like Yelp, as opposed to something which strives to work with companies. Maybe a link to the case studies would be more advantageous? Also a lack of a contact link on the front, paired with the incredible amount of white space on this page leave lots of room for technical improvements.

    2. how their customers view them.

      So is this meant as an analytics tool for restaurants? It seems strange to market yourself as a tool for restaurants but simultaneously rank your clients against one another and expose their poor health inspector marks.

    3. A Division of Prevailing Trends, Inc.

      This also feels like a subtitle, but contributes to a greater problem of a confusing website narrative. Does correspoondence rank restaurants for consumers? Do they help restaurants improve through secret shoppers? Is it a promotional outlet for PTI?

  7. Dec 2018
    1. .

      It's a nice piece. I enjoyed the second half more than the first. I feel like you became more comfortable with the writing and more confident in what you were saying. Your sentences are shorter or more concise and the content seems much more focused than earlier. The second half is pleasant and a joy to read, while the first feels like assigned reading for a class.

    2. The specter of upcoming departure influenced behavior in a way that removed one from reality — academics in Lyon mattered less at home, new friends would return to their countries of origin and communication would lapse, and why invest for comfort when somewhere so briefly?

      This sentence is 44 words!!!

    3. I existed permanently, but in a liminal state between arrival and departure, where the only variable was the passing of time

      I know it's completely subjective, but this really sounds like you're trying your best to sound pretentious. This isn't the way you speak.

    4. Two years of school near downtown Austin — coincidentally, a fifteen minute walk from my house of the final two undergraduate years.

      Again, your stylistic grammar choices effect the clarity of your sentence. "Two years of school near downtown Austin" is not a complete sentence.