.

.

”

.

.

”

.

”

and

.

get

.

.

Kutti’s coat shone with cleanliness, sparkling in the sunshinelike a silk sari

Kutti’s coat shone with cleanliness, sparkling in the sunshinelike a silk sari

Muthu scowled. “I have to write I won’t be rude to myteachers one hundred times.”

Celina Aunty’s words made my dream glimmeragain.

.

”

The lines I drew for the sun’s rays came out pretty wobbly. Idropped a bit of blue paint on the bottom by accident, so I smearedit and made a river. Across it, I painted a bridge. On the bridge Ipainted four stick figures.

Her face glowed like a moon

.

vanakkams

“Will you take me to see your sister sometime?”

”

“Children like Rukku?” Anger spurted out of me. “No one’s likeRukku!” I yelled. “No one!”

bungalow

.

.

“Stop it.” Arul yanked the pan out of my hands. “I miss her, too.So does Muthu.”

u

“That’s because Rukku is gone, Arul! She’s gone because of me.If I hadn’t forced her to leave home—”

sulk

He asked how I was doing, and when, as usual, I just said,“Fine,” he wouldn’t let me get away with it.“No,” he said. “You’re not fine, Viji.”I said nothing.

you might try thinkingabout being Good. About doing Good. Yes?”

“I don’t mind if you have no faith in religion, Viji. Just as longas you have faith in the goodness within yourself.

”

.

I’m not mean about any one religion,” I said. “They’re allequally silly.

“Don’t talk back.” Her face flushed redder than a brick.

Soon, I’d setthe whole place yawning.

.

Arul, who’s even a bit older, are allowed to stay for abit, until we have a safe, sure place to move to.

Arul, who’s even a bit older, are allowed to stay for abit, until we have a safe, sure place to move to.

She says she wishes she had more space, so she could take inevery homeless kid, but she can’t.

.

when I felt like a rock was sitting on my chest,

“Because you’re not talking much to anyone, Viji, and that’s nothealthy. Your thoughts are sitting inside you like a stone,

Celina Aunty called me into the schoolroom andmotioned me toward one of the empty desks.“Sit,” she ordered. “Write.”“Write?” I said. “Why?”

.

I got a notebook, handmade paper, and pencils made fromrecycled scraps.

kurtas

but it was hard for me to actlike I was in good spirits.

but it was hard for me to actlike I was in good spirits.

.

Arul answered for me. He said you were Christian,

But by the time we stood by your bed, your own body was asstiff as a wooden doll’s and it was too late.

His words felt like a warm ray of sunshine slipping in through arain-soaked sky.

His words felt like a warm ray of sunshine slipping in through arain-soaked sky.

His words felt like a warm ray of sunshine slipping in through arain-soaked sky.

I tried a few times but kept choking up, unable to get beyondthe first sentences.

.

He slipped his fingers through mine. They felt bony as askeleton’s

hen I saw him—scrubbed clean by a nurse, with his hair cutshort and washed and brushed—I could hardly believe it wasMuthu.

raving

I ate and slept, but hardly spoke to the other girls in my room or tothe boys who slept in another part of the house

I ate and slept, but hardly spoke to the other girls in my room or tothe boys who slept in another part of the house.

I didn’t tell her how sick you were.I didn’t want to believe it.

I didn’t tell her how sick you were.I didn’t want to believe it.

wrote to Amma, but I didn’t tell Celina Aunty whom I waswriting to

I wrote to Amma, but I didn’t tell Celina Aunty whom I waswriting to.

“Life isn’t fair.

.

Muthu lay in beds near one another. You were each hooked upto a contraption that dripped medicine and food and water into yourveins,

“I hope so, Viji. Most people do, but . . .”

stupor

“Did you use mosquitonets?” “Did you boil the water before you drank it?” “Whatmedication did you try to give her?”

“I’m not coming,” Arul muttered.

“Of course I’ll help.” Celina Aunty took the money. “And I’llkeep this safe for you.”

.

“Help!” I shook it until it jangled loudly, and a woman came out.Celina Aunty.

Only a few adults had ever really helped us. And this was morethan just seeking help. This was trusting her—a stranger—completely.

.

Arul wound your new doll’s hair around one of his wrists like ahandcuff.

“Maybe we should light a candle in church for them?” Arulsuggested.

When I think of it now, it seems so clear, so simple that Ishould have gone straight to Celina Aunty once your fever spiked.

But that night, I couldn’t pretend anymore. We couldn’t denyyou were worse

But that night, I couldn’t pretend anymore. We couldn’t denyyou were worse.

It sounded like you’d given up altogether. On him, on me, oneverything

jolted

I wondered ifmy lie about Kutti not loving us enough to stay had hurt you worsethan if I’d pretended he’d died.

”

Maybe Kutti wanted a better life, so he left.

“Maybe Kutti wanted a better life, so he left.”

.

Then I remembered how Amma had shielded you from doctorsand hospitals.

Then I remembered how Amma had shielded you from doctorsand hospitals.

.

Without saying another word, I turned around and walkedaway

”

nudged

And it wasn’t justmy feet that dragged. It was like my mind was dragging my heartalong, and it and the rest of my body didn’t want to come.

My feet felt heavy as sacks full of scrap metal.

.

I didn’t want to. I had no right to. I couldn’t do it.I could.I had to

But hunger was clawing so fiercely at mystomach that I shut my eyes, scooped up a handful of the swill, andstuck it in my mouth.

inside was already wet. A rash had broken out on your back, makingyour skin as rough as sandpaper,

g

The wind picked up. It tore away the plastic tablecloth we’d usedas a door and sent it flapping like a bat across the dark graveyard.

“Her fever’s worse, I think,” Muthu said. His own eyes still hada feverish glaze.

“Her fever’s worse, I think,” Muthu said. His own eyes still hada feverish glaze.

In spiteof how brave you’d been with Kutti during Divali, I was scared I’dfind you cowering with fear when I returned.

Your body was a tight knot.

Purple rain clouds burst over us like rottinggrapes.

Then they moved apart, and we went to work, trying to dredgeout at least a few bottles or tins from the sea of sewage.

Then they moved apart, and we went to work, trying to dredgeout at least a few bottles or tins from the sea of sewage.

dredge

.

“Don’t be.” Kumar churned the filthy water with his stick. “Kidsdie every day. You start feeling sorry, you’ll drown.”

“Thought he went on holiday?” Kumar gave a bitter laugh. “Hegot sick from something. Kept vomiting and then . . .”

“Thought he went on holiday?” Kumar gave a bitter laugh. “Hegot sick from something. Kept vomiting and then . . .”

of water thatlooked and smelled like raw sewage.

Gullies

“No, no, Akka.” Muthu grinned weakly at me. “If you kept mefrom working that long, I’d fall ill from shock.”

e

“You three stay here,” Arul said. “I’ll work alone today.”

“You three stay here,” Arul said. “I’ll work alone today.”

I would have given anything to see you throw a tantrum orcomplain.

All through that starless night, your breath came in wheezy gasps asraindrops wriggled, like silver snake

.

but I wasn’t sure he was right aboutCelina Aunty.

Muthu’s tale had horrified me,

”

“I was sold to a ‘school’ once,” Muthu said. “A school where they‘taught’ us to make handbags. We had to cut and sew all day. Theykept us locked in. The man who called himself our owner only let usgo to the bathroom at dawn and at night after our work was done

But the woman at the orphanage was arakshasi.”

“You’re the one being ridiculous,” he said. “I went to one ofthose ‘schools’ once. It was a prison.”

“Because she’s trying to catch us and sell us,” Muthu said.

”

“Maybe we should go see the lady we met in church—CelinaAunty—tomorrow,” I said. “We could go to school and—”

That was a miracle.

scrunched

“We found a new waste mart man, but he’s worse than stingy.”Arul’s forehead was scrunched up in a worried frown. “He drove areally hard bargain.

.

I didn’t want youtraveling all alone to our palace.

But in spite of the cough syrup, you weren’t any better the nextmorning.

Worse, you wouldn’t let me rub the repellent on you properly,because you didn’t like the sticky feel of ointment on your skin.

.

You were shivering and coughing, but you started stringingbeads while we sang out, “Bead necklaces, pretty bead necklaces!”

You were shivering and coughing, but you started stringingbeads while we sang out, “Bead necklaces, pretty bead necklaces!”

y

They’redead. Gone. You can’t bring them back to life. None of us can.”

“That worm’s dead, Rukku,” I tried to explain. Death was one ofthose things, like money, that I wasn’t sure how well youunderstood. “It’s never going to move again. Ever.”

“Cheee!

”

Paavum

“Rukku’s the sweetest of us all,” Muthu said. “That’s why themosquitoes like her best.”

.

You whispered to Kutti and stroked him until he was calmer.You were so focused on his fear, you didn’t seem to mind the noiseyourself.

”

“Mummy, you could vaccinate him,” Praba wheedled. “Please,may I get him some food?”

Not that it mattered. “I told you he wasn’t for sale.”

”

I’ll brush his coat so it shines like silk

“Please, Mummy,” the girl wheedled, like she hadn’t heard me.Did she think poor, low-caste kids like us didn’t count?

He disappeared around the back of the house and reappeared,carrying a few glass bottles.

frilly

“No, but it was a rich neighborhood, so maybe they’ll pay morefor Rukku’s necklaces.”“Or maybe they got rich by being stingier, so they’ll pay less,”Muthu said.

.

“Any policemen there?” Muthu wanted to know. “Orwatchmen?”

I suggested. “At least if he chases usaway again, we might get another orange.”

neem twigs

“Rich boys, for sure,” Arul said. “You have to be rich to wastetime going on escapades at night instead of catching up on precioussleep

”

“Daring each other to explore a‘haunted’ graveyard?”

”

nonchalant

“I’m telling you, this place is haunted,” came another boy’svoice. “I saw a ghost moving near that banyan tree yesterday

.

“Tastes worse than poison,” hesputtered, swallowing it only after I promised to reward him with acookie.

scrounged

y

Pale sunshine

surely our bead saleswould pick up again once we had a bigger stock of necklaces toshow.

.

I turned the cookie package around in my hands, feeling like aprincess who’d just granted a favor to a pitiful subject.

haughtiest

“Rukku,” I said, “will you teach me to make necklaces?”

I scowled at the girl. “Did you hear us beg?”

”

monsoon

“My friends and I sell trash to make ends meet,”

.

“Tea?” You scratched at a mosquito bite on your elbow. “Tea!”

Silver pins of rain fell around us as we left the church.

“Priests don’t accuse kids who are in God’s house,”

”

Good for your souls,” I said. “But can we please use what’s leftof our money to take care of our stomachs, too?”

sulkily

e

like they could hear music. Like theywere alive. Alive the way you were alive, alive right there, right then,