10,000 Matching Annotations
  1. Jul 2021
    1. Sergio: Did you ever work in the US?Rodolfo: Yeah, I worked all the time, I never stopped. One of the first jobs I had…My uncle worked at a restaurant called, Baker's Square in Chicago. It was on the corner of Tui and Pratt. I really, really, really wanted—I think I was in fifth or sixth grade—a phone. I wanted a phone, it’s called the Psychic Slide. Phones used to flip, but this one slides. I wasn't gonna ask my mom for it, so I asked my uncle. "Hey man, I know you work at Baker's Square and I know around the holiday season it gets really busy. Can I help you? Can I go?" He's like, "Well, yeah, if you want." I used to wake up like 3:00 in the morning, and I used to go and help him out. After that, I really liked making money and I really liked dressing nice, I liked having my nice haircut or whatever. My very, very first job was in Wilmette, Illinois. I was a caddie. Yeah, and then—Sergio: On the golf course?Rodolfo: On the golf course, yeah. Wilmette Golf Course actually. I remember I was always the first one there. They used to choose us, when everybody got there, "Okay, you come with me, you come with me." I used to always go there and there was a gentleman by the name of... Man, I forgot his name. Like the President, Gerald Ford, that was his name Gerald Ford! The only reason I remembered was because of the President. He used to always get there around the same time I got there. He finally asked me, "Do you want to be my personal caddie? I don't want you working anymore with all these other kids, because nobody wants to work. Do you want to be my personal caddie?" I'm like, "Yeah, absolutely." It was going really, really well and everything.Rodolfo: I got to high school, I had a number of jobs. I worked at Subway, I worked at Chili's, I worked at... What was it? Outback Steak House, but then I finally just got to the Cheesecake Factory, and that's where I stayed the remainder of my time. The remainder of my time I stayed there, and I started from the busboy and I finally ended up being a bartender. One of the head bartenders, one of the head servers, they used to pay-out people and everything. Obviously, I didn't have my social or anything, but I was a little bit older than what I really was. When I first got there, when I first, first started working I think I was like 14. Obviously you can't work that young, I think actually, I was 18, at 14.Rodolfo: I didn't see it as anything bad. I knew that if I got caught with my fake ID and my fake social security card I'd get in trouble, but that's why we're there, that's why we worked. I didn't get a fake ID to go party or go get into clubs or bars or anything. The main purpose of it was for me to be able to get a job, and so my mom wouldn't have to work all those hours that she used to work. She used to work at a Burger King, overnight. I used to barely see her, and I didn't want that anymore. I told her, "You don't have to work that much if I start working. We can help each other out, we can, we're a team.” It was only my mother and I until I turned 14, when she met my stepdad. All throughout that, it was just my mother and I.

      Time in the US, Jobs/employment/work, Documents, Careers, Food services, Athletics

    2. Sergio: What's one of the first memories you have of the US?Rodolfo: One of the very first memories I have of the US, was, I was in a truck with my mom—I'm not sure if this was before or after the fact, that we had already arrived because we arrived in Phoenix, Arizona—was somebody asking my mom, "Have you and your son ate?" I remember my mom telling him, "No, but I have a sandwich here and some snacks for him." He went, "No, here, you're in America now, you're in Phoenix now, let's go get a burger." I remember that somebody bought me—I don't know if it was her or him, the driver—a kid's meal from MacDonald's. This is when they had... I'm not sure…it was like the little hand-held games. I'm not sure, I think it was the Rug Rats or something like that. I remember getting that little toy and thinking, wow, it's a kid's... It had little fries and a burger, and you get a toy.Rodolfo: It was the first time I had ever saw that, and I got really happy, because I was playing the little game and all that. I thought that was the coolest thing in the world. After then, we went into a room... it couldn't have been more... It was just a standard living room, but there was probably like 50 or 60 people in there. Some of them were sitting and it smelled horrible. It obviously wasn't the best place. I guess it was just for people waiting for their relatives to go pick them up or something, I'm not sure. It was just my mother and I and I remember there was a lady with a big pot, and she was just cooking. I'm not sure what she was cooking but we went into another room and all I remember hearing was a big slam.Rodolfo: I looked back and it was a cage. It was literally like they fashioned a metal door with metal bars between the thresholds of the living room from end to end so nobody could get out. Then the windows were the same, they had burglar bars so nobody would get out. I was wondering, why is this happening? At that time, obviously, you were a kid, you don't understand what's going on. First I got fed, I have a little game, and now I'm in this steel cage that smells horrible. I remember somebody arguing with the other person that, "The bucket was full. The bucket was full." I was hearing that, "You need to empty out this bucket." I realized that was the bathroom, that's why it smelled so horrible.Rodolfo: I remember the guy just closing a curtain, and just telling me to, "Shut up." That's when I felt fear for the first time. Even though I was in the desert and everything, that's the very, very first time I felt genuine fear. I didn't know what was going on. I felt it because my mom felt it. She was just hugging me, and that was like the last thing I remember. After that I remember just waking up in the apartment complex. In a room, but it was completely different, it was somebody else. I guess these people knew my mother, because they spoke to her by name and everything. That was one of the very first memories.

      Time in the US, Arriving in the US, First impressions, Restaurants, Age, Awareness of what was happening; Feelings, Fear, Happiness, Anxiety

    3. Sergio: Why did your family migrate to the US?Rodolfo: The reason why my family moved to the US was because both my grandfather and my biological fathers struggled with addiction, with alcoholism and drug abuse. They were just not very... Mostly my biological father, he really wasn't always there, and he was always very violent towards my mother. My mother had me when she was 14 years old. When she got pregnant everybody decided well, okay, she messed up. She is this, that, like very, very taboo. She wasn't really accepted in the family anymore. It wasn't so much my family and I moving to the US, it was just my mother and I when she was 16 and I was two and a half years old. They weren't really interested in what was going on with me or my mother. She just wanted a better quality of life for her and for myself.Rodolfo: In Mexico at 16 years old, with no type of education past probably middle school, she knew she wasn't gonna get very far. I guess she made that decision in order to have a better quality of life for her and myself, she went on. She was 16, and I don't know how she did it. I don't know the details and all that, but she met the right people, or she got in contact with the right people, and she went over there. She went to the United States. To this day, I still remember a lot of the things, even though I was very, very young. It's something that I always tell everybody that I meet, it's not just for this interview.Rodolfo: I always remember the bad things that happened or the very... I don't know if it's because it had such a big impact in my life and my mother's life or just because of how everything was set up. I remember everything that happened from start to finish. From the beginning where we got picked up, to being in the desert. I still remember eating cereal with water. It was... I don't know, it was very, very... I feel like it was... it obviously had an impact psychologically, because I still just have a lot of anxiety when I'm in certain places that I'm really accustomed to. A two, three year old in the middle of the desert, it definitely had to have an impact on me.Sergio: How old were you when that happened?Rodolfo: I was two and a half years old, so that's why I'm saying it's very odd for me to be able to remember that at a very, very young age. It wasn't only that, just even when I was here, when I was two, two and a half, I used to remember asking my mom certain memories that I had. She would say, "Oh you were one year old, one and a half years old, how did you remember that?" It was always very, like a violent, violent memory that I had. It was more so like my father being drunk or high or whatever and coming in the house. Taking any little money my mom made for the week, in order for him to keep on doing what he was doing. Just coming in and just tearing up the place.

      Mexico before the US, Mexican Childhood, Memories, Family; Mexico before the US, Migration from Mexico, Reasons, Violence, Domestic Violence, Border Crossing, Desert

    1. we have begun a number of gaming literacy projects.

      I'm glad that there are so many resource out there these days with games that are already made that you can have your students play. Since gamification is such a new concept to me, I struggle trying to create my own game. It's convenient to just find games that are already made and you can seamlessly integrate them into your classroom. My goal is to one day create some kind of game in my own classroom. (I really liked the cooking teacher that we read in our Gamify Literacy book and how she emulated the Master Chef show).

    1. it seems that most of these links are rehash of ES6 spec, which is pretty technical

      Yes. The problem also with relying on programmers' blogged opinions for advice and understanding is that a lot of the material is the result of people trying to work things out for themselves in public—hoping to solidify their own understanding by blogging—and it's not expert advice. Aspiring programmers further run the risk of mistaking any given blogger's opinion for deep and/or widely accepted truths. (And JS in particular certainly has lots of widely accepted "truths" that aren't actually true. Something about intermediate JS programmers has led to an abundance of bad conventional folk wisdom.) Indeed, spot-checking just a few of the links collected in the list here reveals plenty of issues—enough to outright recommend against pointing anyone in its direction.

      On the other hand, the problem with the ECMAScript spec is that it has gotten incredibly complicated (in comparison to the relative simplicity of ed. 3). There is a real need for something that is as rigorously correct as the spec, but more approachable. This was true even in the time of the third edition. In the early days of developer.mozilla.org, the "Core JavaScript Reference" filled this hole, but unfortunately editorial standards have dropped so low in the meantime that this is no longer true. Nowadays, there is not even any distinction between what was originally the language reference versus the separate, looser companion for learners that was billed as the JavaScript guide. The effect that it has had is the elevation of some of the bad folk wisdom to the point of providing it with a veneer of respectability, perhaps even a "seal of approval"—since it lives on MDN, so it's gotta be right, right?

    1. So long as the filters are only using GET requests to pull down links, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with them. It’s a basic (though oft-ignored) tenet of web development that GET requests should be idempotent; that is, they shouldn’t somehow change anything important on the server. That’s what POST is for. A lot of people ignore this for convenience’s sake, but this is just one way that you can get bitten. Anyone remember the Google Web Accelerator that came out a while ago, then promptly disappeared? It’d pre-fetch links on a page to speed up things if you clicked them later on. And if one of those links happened to delete something from a blog, or log you out… well, then you begin to see why GET shouldn’t change things. So yes, the perfect solution to this is a 2-step unsubscribe link: the first step takes to you a page with a form on it, and that form then POSTs something back that finalizes the unsubscribe request.
    1. These recommendation systems are getting so good that if we aren't vigilant, we're just going to end up drifting toward whatever the machine tells us we like. CHILDS: This isn't just a problem of human psychology. It's also a computer science problem. Jingjing says it becomes a feedback loop. Those little drifts add up.

      The problem with recommendation engines: if people put too much faith in them because they have worked well in the past, then there is a "drift to whatever the machine tells us we like".

  2. migration-encounters-prototype.netlify.app migration-encounters-prototype.netlify.app
    1. Claudia:        Yeah. How would you characterize the experience that you have in Mexico so far?Jayden Lee:        Like from a scale to one to 10, or like...Claudia:        However you want to talk about it.Jayden Lee:        I mean, I'm not saying... I'm not complaining, "Oh my God. It's very horrible." Every experience leads to a point of life. I think if I wouldn't have come to Mexico, I wouldn't have grown as Jayden. I wouldn't have grown as a transgender woman. I wouldn't have grown just as a person. And if I would've stayed in the US, maybe I would've grown further, or maybe I would've been stuck in a place, you know because of my immigrant situation. And here in Mexico, I don't have limits. I don't have a government that tells me, “you can't do this because you're an immigrant.” I do have a government telling me what not to do, right? [chuckle]

      Reflections, Mexico, best parts about being back; feelings, freedom

    2. Claudia:        I don't know, like if you're comfortable with telling me what the difference is, if you've experienced it, between being a trans woman in the United States versus being a trans woman in Mexico.Jayden Lee:        Okay. Being a trans woman in the US, it's... Because I was very little, so I think it wasn't that obvious. I mean, there were some people who are homophobic, but not as much as here. I think you could have gone to the police, and like they will back you up. You can go to your school and they will back you up. And if you go here, there is no one to back you up. Like you have to build that strong, independent woman inside, just a person that won't tolerate that.Claudia:        Yeah.Jayden Lee:        And I think that's why psychology here is like way different.Claudia:        Yeah.Jayden Lee:        And trans women here are way different from trans women back in the USA.

      identity, transgender, LGBTQ; cultural differences

    3. Claudia:        I guess the last few questions to reflect. What can the Mexican government do to help returning migrants reintegrate into Mexican society?Jayden Lee:        Just make them feel safer. I'm not saying just Mexican immigrants, just for every Mexican to feel safer, to make them feel more safer. That no delinquency are going to like... Or just to have more jobs because people without a job go to that source, I believe. It's like when you have nothing to do. When you take your phone out or when they take your phone... That's what I experienced this week. I got robbed. Like literally. I love reading. Right now, I'm reading Mujer Millonaria, I think Rich Woman, because that's my dream, to become a rich woman. I literally stopped reading that book because I've been doing so many things. But then, I said, "Why stop reading it? You have time. I mean, the only thing that was stopping you was your phone."Jayden Lee:        So, without my phone, I started reading, and that's what I've seen. That's what I've noticed. That people who are doing positive things go further, and they educate themselves more. Other than people that are not doing positive things, that are not even doing anything, they just stay in one place that they're comfortable with, with one place. So, just make them feel safer here in Mexico.

      Reflections, Mexico, policy for reintegration, safety, reform;

    4. Claudia:        If you could have stayed in the United States, what do you think you might have done?Jayden Lee:        Okay. What I want in my life is… I've wanted, I've always wanted to have my own line like Jayden Lee cosmetics, like have my own personal line of business. I think being there... I would have been making it big already. Here in Mexico, yes, I'm making it big, but in a different way. You know, owning my dad's business, which I'm both working here, and I'm also working at my dad's business. So, it's like, "Oh, I'm doing two things at once," but I'm not doing what I love, what I want, what I want to do.Claudia:        Yeah. Is that your dream to have that?Jayden Lee:        To have my own business, have like extensions, but just to have my name, like do collabs with people, but my own line, obviously.

      Dreams, business, entrepreneur;

    5. Claudia:        Do you feel Mexican or American?Jayden Lee:        I feel Mexican. I feel Mexican because, obviously, I was born here in Mexico. But I mean, I feel also American because I was in the US and I got that experience. I wasn't just there chilling. I mean, I was learning, preparing myself for life, for what's now. And also, with learning English. Not many people have that opportunity to experience and be like, "Oh, I was in the States. I know English." To compare to someone who was here in Mexico learning English, it's different perspective. Even their accent is way different. So, it's like, okay.

      Identity, Mexican;

    6. Jayden Lee:        It's been good. I worked at TP before. Teleperformance. I used to work at Teleperformance. But it's a whole story. I was engaged three years ago. He broke my heart. It was just a toxic relationship, and I wasn't able to stand up for that. And we were going to get engaged. Well, married, but.. We were already engaged, but we're going to get married. It turns out, he ended up cheating on me with a girl. So, it's like, "Oh, okay." I really, really... That's where I put my hands down and was like, "You know what, it's your life, do whatever you want." We went through illegal issues. Yeah, we did, because we were like a united couple, relationship, I think, so we had a business together. It was just awful. So, I decided to just give everything to him. I didn't want to deal with him. I was like, "No. No. You hurt me already, so I don't want to stand up for that anymore." So we broke up. Well, no. He cheated on me, so yeah, we broke up.

      Return to Mexico, challenges, relationships, break-ups;

    7. Jayden Lee:        Yeah. I like that. I mean, I've always had a dream of being... One thing was being a woman, becoming a woman. I know for me, it's like different becoming a woman because, obviously, for being a woman, you need to have the natural parts and everything. I know that. Right?Claudia:        No, you don’t.Jayden Lee:        But I think if you can behave like a woman, act like a woman, or respect yourself like a woman, you're already done.Claudia:        Yeah.Jayden Lee:        Okay? It doesn't matter what's on the outside, it matters what's in the inside. So, being through that and going through all that process made me think, I want to have a nice body. Yeah. Obviously, I want to have a nice body. Work for myself. Evolve, evolve in my self-esteem. But you know, working and everything, it's just like, "Oh my gosh. I need to put that aside."

      Identity, transgender, LGBTQ;

    8. Claudia:        What was it like coming back to Mexico from the United States, especially as a transgender woman?Jayden Lee:        It was hard, because here in Mexico, they discriminate a lot. Even though they say they don't, like you feel. Like people literally harassing you. I'm not talking just like transgender women, I'm talking about just like regular woman, born natural female. I've seen it here and there. People harass them literally. It just hurts. It just hurts, because you're like... Some people don't have a good self-esteem, and it could hurt them really bad.Jayden Lee:        I resigned of my other work. I used to work at a photo studio with a few colleagues back in Monterrey, but I quit that job because they had comments about the whole being gay and transition issue that I didn't feel comfortable with. I wasn't able to tolerate. I'm a very tolerable person. I think I'm the most calmful person. Like literally, it's hard to get me angry. I do get frustrated, but I’d never -- it's hard to get someone angry like me. But I got to a point where I wasn't able to tolerate that. So, I quit that job. Came here to TT, and it was way better. I mean, it's so much better. People here are really nice. I mean, they don't discriminate as much.Claudia:        Yeah.Jayden Lee:        As much. There's like 5% of discrimination, but they don't say mean things that are going to hurt people. Because I remember back in the States, I had a friend who committed suicide because of that issue. And I didn't want people to do that. I mean, what's not to love about life. I mean, it's hard, it's hard. But if it was easy, we’d all be like frustrated all the time.

      Return to Mexico, challenges, discrimination, transphobia, mental health; Jobs, discrimination; Call centers, community, opportunity;

    9. Jayden Lee:        My mom got to a point where she got depression, and it just wasn't good. It wasn't really good. We started our own business here in Mexico. We started a bakery. Yeah.Claudia:        Oh, cool.Jayden Lee:        After like three years, we closed it. My mom had a tumor. I think it's... Can I say it in Spanish? I don't know how to say it in English. Es un derrame cerebral [stroke].Claudia:        I don't know how to say that in English.Jayden Lee:        I know.Claudia:        I know exactly what you're talking about.Jayden Lee:        Yeah. It was really, really bad. Okay. My mom got well. I wanted to go through my transition. Like I really, really wanted, but all that money was like, "Oh my gosh, like I need to focus on my mom. My mom's first." I did the whole thing, the surgery, the thing where you're like.. I was so happy about it. I talked to my mom. I remember she was in bed, and I was like, "Mom, I need to do this for me, for myself. I don't want to be selfish, but I need to do this for me." She's like, "I know. I know you've been holding up a long time, and you need to do it for yourself. And if it's something that you want to do, do it. Just do it. Just go for it. If it's going to make you happy, go for it. If it's going to make you unhappy, don't do it. Don't do something that's going to make you unhappy. Do something that you're happy about. Do something that you're going to be waking up every day, and you're going to look at yourself and have a big smile for you."Jayden Lee:        So, I went through the whole transition. It's the woman I am today now. I'm still working on the whole name changes and all that stuff. Because when I was in the US... Here in Mexico, you have to do the whole paper issue, which is another like discrimination here in Mexico that they do. Because basically, just go, give yourself and be like, “Okay, I am a trans woman. What's next? Here's the paper. Fill this out.” But they don't do that. You have to go through the whole process here in Mexico. So, it's like, "Oh my gosh."

      Return to Mexico, challenges, careers, occupations, bakery; Family, parents; Illness; LGBTQ, transgender; Feelings, pride;

    10. Jayden Lee:        Well, my life in the States, obviously, I went as a boy, and it comes to a point where you just like, you're not comfortable with who you are. You knew you were made to go further in life, you're meant for something else. First of all, I was coming out as a gay boy. That was when I was 14. When I was 15, I went to a psychologist, and he told me that there was something with me that I wasn't happy with myself. I wasn't happy with myself. I wasn't happy with the guy who I was. I wasn't happy with seeing myself every day and waking up and like, "Oh my gosh. Yeah, I have a boy body." I felt disgusted in that way. So, I told my dad, I told my family, they were very supportive. My brothers, my sisters, everybody was so supportive. They're like, "Okay, let's go through the transition." You know, first, the psychologist, you have to go through all that therapy. Then, it's the hormone changes.Jayden Lee:        I started transitioning when I was 17. So, I wanted to do my transition back in the States, but I couldn't because it's more expensive there. So, I told my dad, if we ever go back to Mexico, it's cheaper. It turns out here in Mexico, it's cheaper. It's way, way cheaper. So, that's why also I ended up doing my whole transition here in Mexico as well.Claudia:        How old are you now?Jayden Lee:        I'm 26 years old.Claudia:        Oh, cool.Jayden Lee:        So, yeah, it's been a long journey.

      Time in the US, mental health, LGBTQ, transgender; Family; Feelings, acceptance; Return to Mexico, reasons, opportunity;

    1. Note: This rebuttal was posted by the corresponding author to Review Commons. Content has not been altered except for formatting.

      Learn more at Review Commons


      Reply to the reviewers

      We thank the reviewers for their thoughtful comments. We were delighted the reviewers found our results “compelling”, “striking”, “well presented”, “implications exciting”, “excellent results! really nice!”, “this microscopy is beautiful!” and “translational-dependence (of mRNA localization) in a transcript-specific way without perturbing translation globally”, which is a “complete surprise, and opens exciting doors to investigate how translation leads to mRNA organization and its connection to **tissue development” and “may represent a new pathway of mRNA transport”.

      We also appreciated the comments regarding the “wide appeal”, “broad readership of readers”, and “broad interest” the reviewers gave to our manuscript regarding its impact, and also the comments of “well-written (and) well-cited”.

      We can address all the concerns raised by the reviewers. In addition to textual changes, we will add the following to the Results section:

      1. Additional quantitation of smFISH beyond Figure 2;
      2. Addition of a negative (uniformly distributed) mRNA control and its quantitation;
      3. Western blots for our ΔATG lines to determine what and how much protein is made.
      4. Unbiased nuclear masking. Our specific responses are shown below, in blue.

      Reviewer #1

      **Major comments**

      Fig. 1: Main and supplementary figures present smFISH signals for eight localized mRNAs, while in the results section authors describe that they analyzed twenty-five transcripts. Authors should explain the choice of transcripts presented in the paper.

      We will include a panel in Fig. S1E to show every mRNA that we tested, and we will edit Table 1 to describe the observed subcellular localization.

      We will edit the text, adding a few sentences to clarify, along the lines of: “O**ur survey revealed mRNAs with varying degrees of localization within epithelia that we divided into three classes: CeAJ/membrane localized, perinuclearly localized, and unlocalized (Fig. 1 and S1 and Table 1).” and “The rest of our tested mRNAs did not possess any evident subcellular localization at any of the analyzed embryonic stages/tissues and were not further investigated (Fig. S1E and Table 1).

      Moreover, smFISH signal of different localized mRNAs in epidermal cells was visualized at different stages (bean, comma or late comma), and authors did not comment what was the reason of such conditions. This may make transcripts localization results difficult to interpret, as further analysis showed that mRNA localization varied in a stage-specific manner.

      We have clarified this point now in Figure legend 1: “Specific embryonic stages were selected for each transcript based on the highest degree of mRNA localization they exhibited.

      Did author used smFISH probes designed against endogenous mRNAs for all tested transcripts?

      We did not. We clarify this point now in Materials and methods: “All probes were designed against the endogenous mRNA sequences except dlg-1 (some constructs), pkc-3, hmp-2, spc-1, let-805, and vab-10a, whose mRNA were detected with gfp probes in their corresponding transgenic lines (Table S2). An exception to this is Fig. S1A where we used probes against the endogenous dlg-1 mRNA.”.

      Marking dlg-1 mRNA as dlg-1-gfp suggests that smFISH probe was specific for gfp transcript. Is it true? If yes, authors should compare localization of wild-type endogenous dlg-1 mRNA with that of the transcript encoding a fusion protein, to confirm that fusion does not affect mRNA localization.

      Yes, in Fig. 1C we show smFISH for GFP (i.e., the tagged dlg-1 only). In Fig. S1A, we show smFISH against endogenous dlg-1. Tagged and endogenous dlg-1 mRNAs are both localized. We clarified this point in the main text: “Five of these transcripts were enriched at specific loci at or near the cell membrane: laterally and at the CeAJ for dlg-1 (Fig. 1C for endogenous/GFP CRISPR-tagged dlg-1::gfp mRNA and S1A for endogenous/non-tagged dlg-1 mRNA), (…)”. And in the Supplemental figure legend (Fig. S1A): “Endogenous/non-tagged dlg-1 mRNA shows CeAJ/membrane localization like its endogenous/GFP CRISPR-tagged counterpart.

      Fig. 2B: Authors conclude that at later stages of pharyngeal morphogenesis mRNA enrichment at the CeAJ decreased gradually in comparison to comma stage. Data do not show statistically significant decrease in ratio of localized mRNAs - for dlg-1: bean: 0.39{plus minus}0.09, comma: 0.29{plus minus}0.08, 1.5-fold: 0.30{plus minus}0.09; for ajm-1: bean: 0.36{plus minus}0.08, comma: 0.30{plus minus}0.05, 1.5-fold: 0.28{plus minus}0.09.

      t-test (one-tailed) analysis revealed a significant difference between bean and comma stages for both dlg-1 and ajm-1 mRNAs. Statistical analysis and data will be provided.

      Fig. 4: What was the difference between the first and the second __ΔATG transgenic line? Authors should analyze the size of the truncated DLG-1 protein that is expressed from the second Δ__ATG transgenic line that localizes to CeAJ. Knowing alternative ATGs and protein size may suggest domain composition of the truncated protein. This will allow to confront truncated protein localization with the results from.

      We will perform a Western blot to determine the size and levels of proteins produced.

      Fig. 5. Moreover, to prove that the localization of dlg-1 mRNA at the CeAJ is translation-dependent, additional experiment should be performed where transcripts localization will be analyzed in embryos treated with translation inhibitors such as cycloheximide (translation elongation inhibitor) and puromycin (that induces premature termination).

      We believe this comment might refer to Fig. 4. If this is the case: drugs like cycloheximide and puromycin affect the translation of the whole transcriptome, whereas with our ΔATG experiment, we aimed to target the translation of one specific transcript and avoid secondary effects. Nevertheless, we understand Reviewer #1’s concern and will include a second experiment. In our hands, cycloheximide and puromycin have never worked in older embryos (it’s hard to get past the eggshell and into the embryo). Instead, we will use stress conditions, which induce a “ribosome drop-off” (Spriggs et al., 2010). Heat stress has been shown to decrease polysome occupancy (Arnold et al., 2014). We, therefore, have used heat-shock at 33°C for 30’, and the results are now shown in Fig. S4. These show the loss of RNA localization upon heat shock.

      **Minor comments**

      In the introduction section authors should emphasize the main goal and scientific significance of the paper.

      We added this sentence to state the significance before summarizing the results: “To investigate the impact of mRNA localization during embryonic development, we conducted a single molecule fluorescence in situ hybridization (smFISH)-based survey (…)” and “Our data demonstrate that the dlg-1 UTRs are dispensable, whereas translation is required for localization, therefore providing an example of a translation-dependent mechanism for mRNA delivery in C. elegans.” To state the significance.

      Fig 1A: It's hard to distinguish different colors on the schematics. Schematics presents intermediate filaments that are not included in the Table 1.

      We modified Table 1 based on this and other reviewers’ comments.

      Fig. 1C: dlg-1 transcript is marked as dlg-1-gfp on the left panel and dlg-1 on the right panel.

      Corrected.

      Fig. 2B: Axis labels and titles are not visible, larger font size should be used.

      We will modify the graph (following Reviewer #2’s suggestion) and axes label and title sizes will be taken into account.

      Fig. 5C: Enlarge the font size.

      Will do.

      Fig. S2: Embryonic stages should be marked on the figure for easier interpretation.

      Added.

      Reviewer #2

      Major comments

      Figure 2 requires a negative (or uniformly distributed) mRNA control for comparison. Figure 2C should be quantified. The plot quality should be improved, and appropriate statistical tests should be employed to strengthen the claimed findings.

      We will add a negative control (jac-1 mRNA), and quantify Fig. 2C as well. Plots will be changed accordingly to the suggestion.

      Most claims of perinuclear mRNA localization are difficult to see and not well supported visually or statistically. The usage of DAPI markers, membrane markers, 3D rendering, or a quantified metric would bolster this claim. Also, sax-7 is claimed to be perinuclear and elsewhere claimed to be uniform then used as a uniform control. Please explain or resolve these discrepancies more clearly.__

      Regarding perinuclear mRNAs:

      We are not trying to make a big statement out of these data as perinuclear (ER) localization of mRNAs coding for transmembrane/secreted proteins is well known. The aim of our study was to describe transcript localized at or in the proximity of the junction. However, we thought it was worth mentioning these examples of perinuclearly localized mRNAs (hmr-1, sax-7, and eat-20) for two reasons: scientific correctness – show accessory results that might be interesting for other scientists – and use as positive controls for our smFISH survey – these mRNAs were expected to localize perinuclearly for the reasons mentioned above. We will rewrite the text to make these points clearer.

      Regarding sax-7 mRNA:

      sax-7 mRNA localizes perinuclearly in sporadic instances (Fig S1C), but it is predominantly scattered throughout the cytoplasm (i.e., unlocalized). It presumably localizes perinuclearly in a translation-dependent manner as sax-7 codes for a transmembrane protein that would be targeted to the ER. We have described this ER-type of localization in the introduction and reiterated it partially in the first paragraph of the results. sax-7 UTRs are therefore presumably not responsible for subcellular localization, which would instead depend on a signal sequence. We will better clarify this point in the main text.

      The major concern about the paper is the data display and interpretation of Figure 5C. I'm not comfortable with the approach the authors took of blurring out the nucleus. A more faithful practice would be to use an automated mask over DAPI staining or to quantify the entirety of the cell. If the entirety of the cell were quantified, one could still focus analysis on specific regions of relevance. The interpretations distinguishing membrane versus cytoplasmic localization (or mislocalization) are hard to differentiate in these images especially since they are lacking a membrane marker. The ability to make these distinctions forms the basis of Tocchini et al's two pathways of dlg-1 mRNA localization. These interpretations also heavily rely on how the image was processed through the different Z-stacks, and it's not clear to me how that was done. For example, the diffusion of mRNA in figure 5F and 5I are indistinguishable to my eye but are claimed to be different.

      In the images, the nuclei have been blurred to allow the reader to focus on the cytoplasmic signal and not on the nuclear (transcriptional) signal as it is not meaningful for this study. In the quantitation, the nuclear signal has been unbiasedly and specifically removed from the analysis by cropping out the DNA signal from the other channels. The frontal plane views of the seam cells in Fig. 5 show maximum intensity projections (MIPs) of 3 Z-stacks (0.54 µm total) that each contain nuclei and, therefore, the transcriptional signal (schematics in Fig. 5B). We will clarify these points in the text.

      Regarding cytoplasmic versus membrane-associated mRNAs, although we did not have a membrane marker, we relied on the brightness of the DLG-1::GFP signal to identify the cell borders (i.e., membranes) after over-exposure. This approach allowed us to discern apicobasal and apical sides for the intensity profile analyses. We will clarify this point as well in the text and, in parallel, we will try a different approach using transverse sections on top views to clarify our data.

      To my eye, it seems that Figure 5 could be more faithfully interpreted to state that DGL-1 protein localization depends on the L27-SH3 domains. The Huk/Guk domains are dispensable for DLG-1 protein localization; however, through other studies, we know they are important for viability. In contrast, dlg-1 mRNA localization requires all domains of the protein (L27-Guk). It is exceptionally interesting to find a mutant condition in which the mRNA and protein localizations are uncoupled. It would be very interesting to explore in the discussion or by other means what the purpose of localized translation may be. Because, in this instance, proper mRNA localization and protein function are closely associated, it may suggest that DLG-1 needs to be translated locally to function properly.

      We will rewrite the Results and Discussion to clarify our model. We agree that L27 and SH3 domains are critical, but we also detected effects of the HooK/GuK domains. We have refined our model to describe functions of the N and C termini for membrane or junctional localization.

      The manuscript requires an improve materials & methods description of the quantification __procedures and statistics employed.__

      We will add these points.

      Minor & Major comments together - text

      Summary statement: Is "adherent junction" supposed to be "adherens junction?"

      Corrected.

      Abstract: Sentence 1, I think they should add a caveat word to this sentence. Something like "...phenomenon that can facilitate sub-cellular protein targeting." In most instances this isn't very well characterized or known.

      Corrected.

      In the first paragraph, it might be good to mention that Moor et al also showed that mRNA localize to different regions to alter their level of translation (to concentrate them in high ribosome dense regions of the cell).

      Added as follows: “For example, a global analysis of localized mRNAs in murine intestinal epithelia found that 30% of highly expressed transcripts were polarized and that their localization coincided with highly abundant regions in ribosomes **(Moor, 2017).”

      There are some new studies of translation-dependent mRNA localization - that might be good to highlight - Li et al., Cell Reports (PMID: 33951426) 2021; Sepulveda et al., 2018 (PCM), Hirashima et al., 2018; Safieddine, et al 2021. Also, Hughes and Simmonds, 2019 reviews membrane associated mRNA localization in Drosophila. And a new review by Das et al (Nat Rev MCB) 2021 is also nice.

      We will add them to the text.

      Parker et al. did not show that the 3'UTR was dispensable for mRNA localization. They showed the 3'UTR was sufficient for mRNA localization.

      Quoting from the paper Parker et al.: “3′UTRs of erm-1 and imb-2 were not sufficient to drive mRNA subcellular localization. Endogenous erm-1 and imb-2 mRNAs localize to the cell or nuclear peripheries, respectively, but mNeonGreen mRNA appended with erm-1 or imb-2 3′UTRs failed to recapitulate those patterns (Fig. 4A-D).” We will make this point clearer in the rewritten text.

      In the second paragraph, the sentence about bean stages is missing one closing parenthesis.

      Corrected.

      Last paragraph: FISH is fluorescence, not fluorescent.

      Corrected.

      Both "subcellular" and "sub-cellular" are used.

      Corrected.

      Minor comments – Figures

      Figure 1

      o Figure 1A is confusing. It's not totally clear what the rectangles and circles signify. There are many acronyms within the figure. Which of the cell types depicted in the figure are shown here? For example, for the dorsal cells, which is the apical v. basal side?

      We tried to simplify the cartoon for a general C. elegans epithelial cell. We followed schematics already shown in previous publications to maintain consistency. Acronyms and color-codes are listed in the corresponding figure legend and have been better clarified.

      o Some of the colors are difficult to distinguish, particularly when printed out or for red/green colorblind readers. Is erm-1 meant to be a cytoskeletal associated or a basolateral polarity factor?

      We understand the issue, but unfortunately, with 8 classes of factors, shades of gray might not solve the problem. We tried to circumvent the red-green issue changing red to dark grey. Furthermore, we added details about shapes to the figure legends. We will work to make the colors work better.

      ERM-1 is a cytoskeletal-associated factor.

      o The nomenclature for dlg-1 is inconsistent within "C".

      Corrected.

      o Please specify what the "cr" is in "cr.dlg-1:-gfp" in the legend.

      Added.

      Figure 2

      o Can Figure 2C be quantified in a similar manner to 2A/2B?

      Currently our script cannot do that, but we will try to optimize it to be able to quantify this type of images.

      o 2B - please jitter the dots to better visualize them when they land on top of one another

      Yes, we will.

      o Please include a negative control example, a transcript that is not peripherally localized for comparison.

      Yes, we will.

      o There is no place in the text of the document where Fig 2C is referenced

      Corrected (it was wrongly referred to as “2B”).

      o I can't see any discernable ajm-1 localization in Fig 2A.

      We added some arrowheads to point at specific examples and increased the intensities of the corresponding smFISH signal for better visualization.

      o I can't see any dlg-1 pharyngeal localization in Fig2C.

      We added some arrowheads to point at specific examples and increased the intensities of the corresponding smFISH signal for better visualization.

      o More details on how the quantification was performed would be welcome. Particularly, in 2B, what is the distance from the membrane in which transcripts were called as membrane-associated? What statistics were used to test differences between groups?

      We will add a full description of the script used as well as the statistic details.

      Figure 3

      o Totally optional but might be nice: can you make a better attempt to approximate the scale of the cartoon depiction?

      The UTRs, especially the 5’ one, are much smaller than the dlg-1 gene sequence. A proper scaling of the cartoon to the actual sequences, would draw the attention away from the main subjects of this figure, the UTRs. Nevertheless, we made sure it is clear in the corresponding figure legend that the cartoon is not in scale: “The schematics are not in scale with the actual size of the corresponding sequences. UTR lengths: dlg-1 5’UTR: 61 nucleotides; sax-7 5’UTR: 63 nucleotides; dlg-1 3’UTR: 815 nucleotides; unc-54 3’UTR: 280 nucleotides.”

      o The GFP as an asterisk illustration may be confusing for some readers. Could you add another rectangular box to depict the gfp coding sequence?

      Corrected.

      o This microscopy is beautiful!

      Thanks Reviewer #2!

      o Were introns removed? Is the endogenous copy still present?

      All the transgenes were analyzed in a wild-type background, therefore, yes, the endogenous copy was still present. All the transgenes possessed introns. We will change the corresponding text as follows: “To test whether the localization of one of the identified localized mRNAs, dlg-1, relied on zip codes, we generated extrachromosomal transgenic lines carrying a dlg-1 gene whose sequence was fused to an in-frame GFP and to exogenous UTRs.”. In the figure “dlg-1 ORF” has been replaced with “dlg-1 gene”.

      o The wording in the legend "CRISPR or transgenic" may be confusing as Cas9 genome editing is still a form of transgenesis.

      We added “extrachromosomal” to clarify the nature of the mRNA.

      o The authors state that the 5'-3'UTR construct produces perinuclear dlg-1 transcripts but in the absence of DAPI imaging, it's not clear that this is the case.

      We could not find such a statement, but we tried to clarify the localization of these mRNAs in the text: “The mRNA localization patterns of the two UTR reporters were compared to the localization of dlg-1 transcripts from the CRISPR line (“wild-type”, Fig. 3A; Heppert et al., 2018), described in Fig. 2. Both reporter strains showed enrichment at the CeAJ and localization dynamics of their transcripts that were comparable to the wild-type cr.dlg-1 (Fig. 3B). These results indicate that the UTR sequences of dlg-1** mRNA are not required for its localization.”

      o Which probe set was used? The gfp probe?

      Yes, please see the main text: “Given that the transgenic constructs were expressed in a wild-type background, smFISH experiments were conducted with probes against GFP RNA sequences to focus on the transgenic dlg-1::GFP mRNAs (cr.dlg-1 and tg.dlg-1).”

      o Here, sax-7 is used as a uniform control, but sax-7 is claimed in Fig S1B-D as being perinuclear. This is a bit confusing.

      sax-7 mRNA localizes perinuclearly in sporadic instances (Fig S1C), but it is predominantly scattered throughout the cytoplasm (i.e., unlocalized). It presumably localizes perinuclearly in a translation-dependent manner as sax-7 codes for a transmembrane protein that would be targeted to the ER. We have described this ER-type of localization in the introduction and reiterated it partially in the first paragraph of the results. sax-7 UTRs are therefore presumably not responsible for any subcellular localization, which would instead rely on a signal sequence. We will better clarify this point in the main text.

      Figure 4

      o Excellent results! Really nice!

      Thanks Reviewer #2!

      o Fig 4A. The GFP depicted as a circle is strange.

      We changed it into a rectangle.

      o Fig 4A. Can you include the gene/protein name for easy skimming?

      Added.

      o Fig 4B. the color here is too faint and it is unclear what is being depicted. Overall, this part of the figure could be improved.

      We are optimizing the coloring and simplifying the schematics.

      o Were the introns removed?

      No, the introns were maintained in this and in all our transgenic lines. We described our transgenic lines in the materials and methods section (now with more detail). What we depict in the scheme (Fig. 4A) is the mature RNA (now specified in the figure), therefore no introns depicted. We will also specify this in the main text.

      Figure 5

      o Fig 5A. can you add the gene/protein name

      Added.

      o Fig 5B. Can you make the example apicobasal (non-apical) mRNA more distinctive? If it had its own peak in the lower trace, the reader would more clearly understand that this mRNA will be excluded from apical measurements whereas it will be included in apicobasal measurements.

      We actually wanted to show this specific example: a cytoplasmic mRNA and a junctional mRNA may seem close from the apicobasal analysis (partially overlapping peaks that Reviewer #2 mentioned). With the apical analysis, instead, we can show that these mRNAs are actually not close, and they belong to two different compartments (cytoplasm and junction). We would therefore like to keep the current scheme, while better clarifying this point in the corresponding figure legend.

      o D' - I' The grey font is too light.

      Noted. We will change it.

      o D' - I' The inconsistent y-axis scaling makes it difficult to compare across these samples. Can you set them to the same maximum number?

      The values are indeed quite different. We tried to use the same scale, but this would make some of the data unappreciable. The idea was to evaluate, within each graph, how mRNA and protein are localized relative to the junctional marker. We will make this clearer in the text.

      o D' - I' The x-axis labels are formatted incorrectly

      Corrected.

      o The practice of masking out the nucleus appears to remove potentially important mRNAs that are not nuclear localized. This could really impact the findings and interpretation. Instead, consider an automated DAPI mask.

      The masking on the images is not the same used for the analysis: in the images, a shaded circle has been drawn on the DNA channel and moved onto its corresponding location in the other channels or merges. For the analysis, the DNA signal has been specifically removed in the channel with the smFISH signal. Given that the analysis has been performed on maximum intensity projections of 3 Z-stacks, we believe we did not remove any non-nuclear mRNA. We will clarify this point in Materials and methods.

      o I can't see what the authors are calling membrane diffuse versus cytoplasmic. This is making it hard for me to see their "two step" pathway to localization.

      We will add in Fig. 5B-C an example of a membrane localized mRNA. Furthermore, we will add transverse sections of membrane and cytoplasm to make the date clearer to the reader.

      o Can more details of the quantification be included? How were Z-sections selected, chosen for inclusion? Which Z-sections and how many were selected?

      We will add the details to Materials and methods.

      o Also, why do these measurements focus on what I think are the seam cells when Lockwood et al., 2008 show the entire epithelium that is much easier to see?

      We are focusing on the seam cells at the bean stage as these are the cells and the embryonic stage where we see the highest localization of dlg-1 mRNA in the wild-type.

      o Please name these constructs to correlate the text more explicitly to the figures.

      Added.

      o How many embryos were analyzed for each trace? How many embryos showed consistent patterns?

      We will add the details of the analysis to Materials and methods.

      o Why were these cells used for study here? Lockwood et al., 2008 use a larger field of epithelial cells for visualization.

      As stated before: we are focusing on the seam cells at the bean stage as these are the cells and the embryonic stage where we see the highest localization of dlg-1 mRNA in the wild-type.

      Figure 6

      There are major discrepancies between what this figure is depicting graphically and what is described in the text. Again, I'm not comfortable making the "two step" claims this figure purports given the data shared in Figure 5.

      We are planning to re-write the last part of the results to better clarify our two-step model. A two-step model had been previously suggested in McMahon et al., 2001, where they could show that DLG-1 and AJM-1 (referred to in that publication as JAM-1) are initially localized laterally and only later in development are then enriched apically. Our data agree with McMahon very well, so we used the earlier study as a start. We will cite and explain this paper in greater depth during the rewriting.

      **Minor comments - Tables & Supplemental Figures**

      Table 1

      I think this table could be improved to more clearly illustrate which mRNAs were tested and what their mRNA localization patterns were (for example, gene name identifiers included, etc). Could the information that is depicted by gray shading instead be added as its own column? For example, have a column for "Observed mRNA localization"

      We modified Table 1 based on these and the other reviewers’ comments.

      Can you add distinct column names for the two columns that are labeled as "protein localization - group"

      We modified Table 1 based on these and the other reviewers’ comments.

      Can you also add which of these components are part of ASI v. ASII (as described in the introduction?)

      A new table has been added with the factors belonging to the two adhesion systems (same color code as in Table 1).

      Supplemental Figure 1

      It is hard to see that some of these spots are perinuclear. More information (membrane marker, 3D rendering, improved metrics) is required to support this claim.

      We are not trying to make a big statement out of these data as perinuclear localization for mRNAs coding for transmembrane/secreted proteins is well known. The aim of our study was to describe transcript localized at or in the proximity of the junction. We thought it was worth mentioning these examples of perinuclearly localized mRNAs (hmr-1, sax-7, and eat-20) for two reasons: scientific correctness – show accessory results that might be interesting for other scientists – and use as positive controls for our smFISH survey – these mRNAs were expected to have a somewhat perinuclear localization for the reasons mentioned above.

      What do these images look like over the entire embryo, not just in the zoomed in section?

      We added a column with the zoom-out embryos.

      sax-7 localization in S4 looks similar but a different localization claim is made.

      sax-7 mRNA can localize perinuclearly in sporadic instances (Fig S1C), but is predominantly scattered throughout the cytoplasm (i.e., unlocalized). It presumably localizes perinuclearly in a translation-dependent manner as sax-7 codes for a transmembrane protein that would be targeted to the ER. We have described this ER-type of localization in the introduction and reiterated it partially in the first paragraph of the results. sax-7 UTRs are therefore presumably not responsible for any subcellular localization, which would instead rely on a signal sequence. We will better clarify this point in the main text.

      Supplemental Figure 2

      Before adherens junctions even exist dlg-1 go to the membrane - this is really neat!

      Thanks Reviewer #2!

      Supplemental Figure 3

      Technical question: If either 5 or 3 stack images are used, how does this work? Do they have different z-spacings? Or do they do 5-stack images represent a wider Z-space?

      This is the sentence under question: “Maximum intensity projections of 5 (1.08 µm) (A) and 3 (0.54 µm) (B) Z-stacks”. The space between each Z-stack image is constant in all our imaging and its value is 270 nm. When we consider 5 planes, the distance from the 1st to the 5th is 4 x 270 nm = 1.08 µm, whereas for 3 planes will be 2 x 270 nm = 0.54 µm.

      Supplemental Figure 4

      Line #2 retains translation and keeps mRNA localization.

      Totally optional, but consider showing both lines in the main figure to illustrate the two possibilities.

      Noted.

      Materials and methods - how did they created the ATG mutations? Is it an array? - why does one translate, and one doesn't?

      We will clarify this point in Materials and methods: “dlg-1 deletion constructs ΔATG (SM2664 and SM2663) and ΔL27-PDZs (SM2641) were generated by overlap extension PCR using pML902 as a template.”.

      We will perform a Western blot to clarify Reviewer #2’s last point. Currently we do not know what peptide is translated, but the comparison with our full-length control will probably shed some light on the issue.

      Reviewer #3

      Major comments

      The smFISH results are striking and implications exciting. The conclusions made from the smFISH results reported in all Figures will be strengthened considerably by quantifying the mRNA localized to the defined specific subcellular regions. At the very least, localization to the cytoplasm versus the plasma membrane should be determined as performed in Figure 2B, but quantifying finer localization will enhance the conclusions made about regional localization (e.g. CeAJ versus plasma membrane mRNA localization in Figure 5). Inclusion of a non-localizing control in Figures 1-4 will enable statistical comparisons between mRNA localizing and non-localizing groups.

      We will add more quantitation, statistics, and negative controls.

      The script used for smFISH quantitation should be included in the methods or published in an accessible forum (Github, etc). Criteria for mRNA "dot" calling should be defined in the methods. All raw smFISH counts should also be reported.

      We will add the full description of the script in Materials and methods, and we will provide the raw data in an additional supplementary table.

      Figure 2: What is the localizing ratio of a non-localizing control mRNA (e.g. jac-1)? Including an unlocalized control with quantitation would strengthen the localization arguments presented.

      Yes, we will add quantitation for an unlocalized mRNA.

      Figure 5: Quantifying colocalization of mRNA and protein (+/- AJM-1) will strengthen the arguments made about mRNA/protein localization.

      Yes, we will quantify Fig. S5 to have a full picture of the cells (the images in Fig. 5 represent only a portion of the cell).

      Discussion of the CeAJ mRNA localization mechanism is warranted. Do the authors speculate that the newly translated protein drives localization during translation, similar in concept to SRP-mediated localization to the ER, or ribosome association is a trigger to permit a secondary factor to drive mRNA localization, or another model?

      Unfortunately, this is hard to say at the moment as we do not have any data regarding where translation actually occurs. We will add a conjecture to the Discussion.

      Minor comments

      Please complete the following sentence: "We identified transcripts enriched at the CeAJ in a stage- and cell type-specific."

      Corrected.

      It would be helpful to provide reference(s) for the protein localization summary in Table 1.

      Added.

      Figure 2B: Did dlg-1 and ajm-1 localize at similar ratios? Appropriate statistics comparing the different ratios may be informative.

      We will modify the graph (following Reviewer #2’s suggestion) and add the requested details.

      Figure 2: In the paragraph that begins, "Morphogenesis of the digestive track," the text should refer to Figure 2C? If not, the text requires further clarification.

      Corrected.

      Figure 2: Reporting the smFISH localizing ratios of 8E and 16E will be informative.

      We will add the information.

      Please include citations when summarizing the nonsense-mediated decay NMD mechanism and AJM-1 identifying the CeAJ.

      Added.

      The sentence, "Embryos from our second __Δ__ATG transgenic line displayed a little GFP protein and some dlg-1::gfp mRNA," should refer to Figure S4.

      Added.

      An immunoblot of this reporter versus wild type may be informative regarding the approximate position of putative alternative start codon.

      We will perform a Western blot to verify the size of the protein product produced.

      Figure 5: N's and repetitions performed should be included for localization experiments.

      Yes, we will add them here and in all the other quantifications we will add to the manuscript.

      Please clarify that the "the mechanism of UTR-independent targeting is unknown in any species" refers to dlg-1 mRNA localization.

      Added.

      "Our findings suggest..." discussion paragraph should reference Figure 6.

      Added.

    2. Note: This preprint has been reviewed by subject experts for Review Commons. Content has not been altered except for formatting.

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      Referee #2

      Evidence, reproducibility and clarity

      Summary:

      Tocchini et al. screened apical junction and cell membrane proteins for mRNA localization. They identified multiple proteins that are translated from localized mRNAs. Of these, dlg-1 (Discs large) mRNA localizes to cell cortices of dorsal epithelial cells, endoderm cells, and epidermal (seam) cells and is dependent on active translation for transport. The manuscript dissects the contributions of different DLG-1 protein domains to mRNA localization.

      A major strength of the paper is the way it assesses translational-dependence in a transcript-specific way without perturbing translation globally. The authors cleverly combine mutations in ATG start sites with a knock down of the non-sense mediated decay pathway. This allows Tocchini et al to examine whether dlg-1 mRNA depends on active translation for localization, which it does. The authors observe an interesting finding, that the domains required for protein localization can be separated from those required for mRNA localization. Namely, mRNA localization (but not protein localization) requires C-terminal domains of the protein.

      My major points of concern focus on the presentation and interpretation of Figure 5. In this figure, the blocking approach used seems confounding, the observations described by the authors are not visible, the quantification is confusing, and the interpretations seem like an over-reach. The

      Major comments:

      • Figure 2 requires a negative (or uniformly distributed) mRNA control for comparison. Figure 2C should be quantified. The plot quality should be improved, and appropriate statistical tests should be employed to strengthen the claimed findings.

      • Most claims of perinuclear mRNA localization are difficult to see and not well supported visually or statistically. The usage of DAPI markers, membrane markers, 3D rendering, or a quantified metric would bolster this claim. Also, sax-7 is claimed to be perinuclear and elsewhere claimed to be uniform then used as a uniform control. Please explain or resolve these discrepancies more clearly.

      • The major concern about the paper is the data display and interpretation of Figure 5C. I'm not comfortable with the approach the authors took of blurring out the nucleus. A more faithful practice would be to use an automated mask over DAPI staining or to quantify the entirety of the cell. If the entirety of the cell were quantified, one could still focus analysis on specific regions of relevance. The interpretations distinguishing membrane versus cytoplasmic localization (or mislocalization) are hard to differentiate in these images especially since they are lacking a membrane marker. The ability to make these distinctions forms the basis of Tocchini et al's two pathways of dlg-1 mRNA localization. These interpretations also heavily rely on how the image was processed through the different Z-stacks, and it's not clear to me how that was done. For example, the diffusion of mRNA in figure 5F and 5I are indistinguishable to my eye but are claimed to be different.

      • To my eye, it seems that Figure 5 could be more faithfully interpreted to state that DGL-1 protein localization depends on the L27-SH3 domains. The Huk/Guk domains are dispensable for DLG-1 protein localization; however, through other studies, we know they are important for viability. In contrast, dlg-1 mRNA localization requires all domains of the protein (L27-Guk). It is exceptionally interesting to find a mutant condition in which the mRNA and protein localizations are uncoupled. It would be very interesting to explore in the discussion or by other means what the purpose of localized translation may be. Because, in this instance, proper mRNA localization and protein function are closely associated, it may suggest that DLG-1 needs to be translated locally to function properly.

      • The manuscript requires an improve materials & methods description of the quantification procedures and statistics employed.

      Minor & Major comments together:

      Text

      • Summary statement: Is "adherent junction" supposed to be "adherens junction?"

      • Abstract: Sentence 1, I think they should add a caveat word to this sentence. Something like "...phenomenon that can facilitate sub-cellular protein targeting." In most instances this isn't very well characterized or known.

      • In the first paragraph, it might be good to mention that Moor et al also showed that mRNA localize to different regions to alter their level of translation (to concentrate them in high ribosome dense regions of the cell).

      • There are some new studies of translation-dependent mRNA localization - that might be good to highlight - Li et al., Cell Reports (PMID: 33951426) 2021; Sepulveda et al., 2018 (PCM), Hirashima et al., 2018; Safieddine, et al 2021. Also, Hughes and Simmonds, 2019 reviews membrane associated mRNA localization in Drosophila. And a new review by Das et al (Nat Rev MCB) 2021 is also nice.

      • Parker et al. did not show that the 3'UTR was dispensable for mRNA localization. They showed the 3'UTR was sufficient for mRNA localization.

      • In the second paragraph, the sentence about bean stages is missing one closing parenthesis.

      • Last paragraph: FISH is fluorescence, not fluorescent.

      • Both "subcellular" and "sub-cellular" are used. Minor comments - Figures

      • Figure 1

      o Figure 1A is confusing. It's not totally clear what the rectangles and circles signify. There are many acronyms within the figure. Which of the cell types depicted in the figure are shown here? For example, for the dorsal cells, which is the apical v. basal side? o Some of the colors are difficult to distinguish, particularly when printed out or for red/green colorblind readers. Is erm-1 meant to be a cytoskeletal associated or a basolateral polarity factor? o The nomenclature for dlg-1 is inconsistent within "C". o Please specify what the "cr" is in "cr.dlg-1:-gfp" in the legend.

      • Figure 2

      o Can Figure 2C be quantified in a similar manner to 2A/2B? o 2B - please jitter the dots to better visualize them when they land on top of one another o Please include a negative control example, a transcript that is not peripherally localized for comparison. o There is no place in the text of the document where Fig 2C is referenced o I can't see any discernable ajm-1 localization in Fig 2A. o I can't see any dlg-1 pharangeal localization in Fig2C. o More details on how the quantification was performed would be welcome. Particularly, in 2B, what is the distance from the membrane in which transcripts were called as membrane-associated? What statistics were used to test differences between groups?

      • Figure 3

      o Totally optional but might be nice: can you make a better attempt to approximate the scale of the cartoon depiction? o The GFP as an asterisk illustration may be confusing for some readers. Could you add another rectangular box to depict the gfp coding sequence? o This microscopy is beautiful! o Were introns removed? Is the endogenous copy still present? o The wording in the legend "CRISPR or transgenic" may be confusing as Cas9 genome editing is still a form of transgenesis. o The authors state that the 5'-3'UTR construct produces perinuclear dlg-1 transcripts but in the absence of DAPI imaging, it's not clear that this is the case. o Which probeset was used? The gfp probe? o Here, sax-7 is used as a uniform control, but sax-7 is claimed in Fig S1B-D as being perinuclear. This is a bit confusing.

      • Figure 4

      o Excellent results! Really nice! o Fig 4A. The GFP depicted as a circle is strange. o Fig 4A. Can you include the gene/protein name for easy skimming? o Fig 4B. the color here is too faint and it is unclear what is being depicted. Overall, this part of the figure could be improved. o Were the introns removed?

      • Figure 5

      o Fig 5A. can you add the gene/protein name o Fig 5B. Can you you make the example apicobasal (non-apical) mRNA more distinctive? If it had its own peak in the lower trace, the reader would more clearly understand that this mRNA will be excluded from apical measurements whereas it will be included in apicobasal measurements. o D' - I' The grey font is too light. o D' - I' The inconsistent y-axis scaling makes it difficult to compare across these samples. Can you set them to the same maximum number? o D' - I' The x-axis labels are formatted incorrectly o The practice of masking out the nucleus appears to remove potentially important mRNAs that are not nuclear localized. This could really impact the findings and interpretation. Instead, consider an automated DAPI mask. o I can't see what the authors are calling membrane diffuse versus cytoplasmic. This is making it hard for me to see their "two step" pathway to localization. o "F" looks the same as "I" to me, but the authors claim they represent different patterns and use these differences as the basis for their claim that X. o Can more details of the quantification be included? How were Z-sections selected, chosen for inclusion? Which Z-sections and how many were selected? o Also, why do these measurements focus on what I think are the seam cells when Lockwood et al., 2008 show the entire epithelium that is much easier to see? o Please name these constructs to correlate the text more explicitly to the figures. o How many embryos were analyzed for each trace? How many embryos showed consistent patterns? o Why were these cells used for study here? Lockwood et al., 2008 use a larger field of epithelial cells for visualization.

      • Figure 6

      o There are major discrepancies between what this figure is depicting graphically and what is described in the text. Again, I'm not comfortable making the "two step" claims this figure purports given the data shared in Figure 5.

      Minor comments - Tables & Supplemental Figures

      Table 1

      • I think this table could be improved to more clearly illustrate which mRNAs were tested and what their mRNA localization patterns were (for example, gene name identifiers included, etc). Could the information that is depicted by gray shading instead be added as its own column? For example, have a column for "Observed mRNA localization"

      • Can you add distinct column names for the two columns that are labeled as "protein localization - group"

      • Can you also add which of these components are part of ASI v. ASII (as described in the introduction? Supplemental Figure 1

      • It is hard to see that some of these spots are perinuclear. More information (membrane marker, 3D rendering, improved metrics) is required to support this claim.

      • What do these images look like over the entire embryo, not just in the zoomed in section?

      • sax-7 localization in S4 looks similar but a different localization claim is made.

      Supplemental Figure 2

      • Before adherens junctions even exist dlg-1 go to the membrane - this is really neat! Supplemental Figure 3

      • Technical question: If either 5 or 3 stack images are used, how does this work? Do they have different z-spacings? Or do they do 5-stack images represent a wider Z-space?

      Supplemental Figure 4

      • Line #2 retains translation and keeps mRNA localization.

      • Totally optional, but consider showing both lines in the main figure to illustrate the two possibilities.

      • Materials and methods - how did they created the ATG mutations? Is it an array? - why does one translate, and one doesn't?

      Significance

      The authors discover that dlg-1, ajm-1, and hmr-1 mRNAs (among others) are locally translated, and this represents an important conceptual advance in the field as these are well studied proteins and important markers. This is the first study to illustrate translation-dependent mRNA localization in C. elegans, to my knowledge. The mechanisms transporting these mRNAs and their associated translational complexes to the membrane may represent a new pathway of mRNA transport and is therefore significant. The authors identify domains within DLG-1 responsible which is a nice advance. If they are unable to order the events of association as they claim in Figure 5 (and that I dispute), this doesn't detract from the impact of the paper.

      Other high-profile studies have recently been published that echo how mRNA localization to membranes can be observed for transcripts that encode membrane-associated proteins (Choaib et al., Dev Cell, 2020; Li et al., Cell Reports, 2021 (PMID: 33951426); and Reviewed in Hughes & Simmonds, Front Gen, 2019). These recent findings underscore the impact of Tocchini et al.'s paper. Similar studies have identified mRNAs localizing through translation dependent mechanisms to a variety of different regions of the cell (Sepulveda et al., eLife, 2018; Hirashima et al., Sci Reports, 2018; Safieddine, et al., Nat Comm, 2021; and reviewed in Ryder et al., JCB 2020). Given the timely nature of these findings and the recent interest in these concepts, a broad readership of readers should be interested in this paper.

      My field of expertise is in mRNA localization imaging and quantification. I feel sufficiently qualified to evaluate the manuscript on all its merits.

    1. you're giving up your privacy you're allowing them to ooze into every 00:21:50 aspect of your financial life and they can monitor it and control it it's just like a bank only worse so that's our job to explain that and then if you want to use it use it or i might use it myself for 00:22:03 convenience for things that i just don't give a [ __ ] that the government knows what i'm doing but at the same time to say by the way if in fact you care about privacy if you care about 00:22:16 government keeping out of your stuff then you don't want to use this

      giving up privacy

    1. how can you invest in something outside 00:14:26 of you i mean you are the only thing to invest in whether it's education whether it's i want to take every penny i have 00:14:39 and grab this opportunity that just wafted by my nose that's the only investment anybody should ever be allowed to make because everything 00:14:50 else people is destructive self-destructive to will creativity entrepreneurship the advancement of society

      invest outside of you?

    1. Yes. I took ten grams at once. It wasn't bad; an hour later I felt incredibly relaxed, like I was just the teeniest bit high, but not much other than that. Not the cheapest habit to maintain, but it was a good one-time experiment.

      This is the highest dose of L-theanine I've seen taken. At one dolar per 10 grams, It's actually reasonably affordable to take daily for medical purposes. I may try it, but I'm unlikely to implement it long term. If it's a significant effect, it would be a useful tool. However, I'd be concerned about tolerance.

    1. When memes or the subjects of a meme are used for commercial purposes without permission, the meme creator may sue, as the effect of the commercial use on the market value of the original meme usually prevents a finding of fair use. In 2013, the owners of the cats featured in the “Nyan Cat” and “Keyboard Cat” memes won a lawsuit against Warner Bros. and 5th Cell Media for respectively distributing and producing a video game using images of their cats.

      I think people always forget that memes are still someone's work and sadly people end up getting sued because they just throw around the image like it's nothing.

    1. Ruben: So I didn't like this, and what I did is I started getting this guy to clean them. I would sweep the street and I would fix it, and that's what I would tell them. "You guys cry every time these get flooded, but you guys never do nothing to fix it. Something like sweeps. Have that guy clean it up so the water can just flow" Now when I go back, they say they want me back in that block. It's too far.Just things you got to see. If you don't see it, you can't change it. A lot of these people don't see it. They just, "I'm from LA", and it's good to be like that. I was like that, but I'm a different guy. I'm already older. Things change.

      return to mexico, jobs, occupation

    2. Ruben: Why should I have to show them the difference? I have taken walks with them and these are the guys that tell me, "I know everybody here. I know what I'm doing. Nothing's going to happen to me." I walk with them and they see when everybody's like, "Hey, how have you been? Where have you been? Would you like to come in? Stay here for a minute. Are you Working? Can I help you out in getting you some job?" And they just look at me and be like, "Why are they interested on helping you?" And that's when I tell them "That's different between me and you. They're not looking to help you, because you walk around like you're going to take their wallet. I don't. I might have the face, but I smile. Good morning. Good afternoon." If they want to answer, Hey, it's more than appreciated. If not, I mean that's them. People are different.

      reflections, values

    3. Ruben: There's other things to do. Look, I used to stay busy. I used to go to Boys & Girls Club right after school, stay there until 7, go home, do my homework, shower, and sleep. When my membership from Boys & Girls Clubs ended, my parents didn't have the income to do it. That's when I was like, "So, now what do I do? Let me go to that park and play with those guys."Ruben: Not knowing that they were already affiliated with gangs, and that's how everything starts involving it, "Oh, all right. Oh, no. I don't want to do that. Here, man, it's okay. All right, just a little bit."

      time in the us, pastimes

    4. Ruben: It's hard. It's hard. Depends on what kind of ideas they have when they got here. A lot of these guys think, "Oh, I'm a gang member. If I just walk up to them and look at them all crazy, they're going to give me something." and that's not the way to do it. I'd rather be like, "Hey man, you got 5 pesos I can borrow? I'll give them to you later on." People will be like "Nah, I don't think you'll give them to me." I work right here. They start to get to know you, they start giving you a little bit of trust. Like the guy in the bathroom, he leaves me right there sitting down, charging people, sitting there watching TV, while he goes and does something else. He comes back, and I have never seen him counting his money.Ruben: I didn't even know he had a camera, but he was like, "I seen you on the camera, and I don't see you grabbing anything else but grabbing your stuff." And he goes, "I never seen you taking money. I never see you not even eating the chocolate without asking me. So why should I ask you how much did you make?" No, he just comes and be like, "Hey, thanks man. Are you hungry? Do you need anything?" He'll give you money, and on the side he'll buy you something to eat. Me, I will say, "No man, you don't have to give me nothing. I'm not asking you for nothing. I'm not asking you to pay me. All I'm asking is just to get to know me. You think I'm cool or the nice person that you don't think I was, well that's all I want to earn." These people's respect, you know? So he can see me like them. No quiero que me vean diferente (I don’t want to be seen differently), you know?

      Return to Mexico, challenges, cultural differences, discrimination;

    5. When I got to Whittier, California, there was an officer there. His last name was Fuentes. He was Mexican. I don't know if he wanted to show off for his coworkers or the rest of the cops, but he will always, always stop me. Even if I was with my mom, he would get me off the car and search me. I don't think that was legal. But at the same time, I wasn't legal.Anita: How old were you?Ruben: I was 11 and 12 when he kept harassing me, harassing me, harassing me. When he saw that I became a gang member, I mean, he saw a whole different person. When I was 14, he came to me and he apologized. He said, "I should've never picked on you. I think I made you the person you are now." I said, "Look, everybody has a choice and I made one." I said, "I became a rebel. Now, you're going to see what you wanted to see. Just some advice. The next kids, just don't do that. Instead of picking them up, taking them to a Boys & Girls Club or taking them to the police station, show them what you guys do. What's important, what's bad. That's what you guys should do, not poking us and searching us and taking off our shoes."It's embarrassing for people or neighbors to see you. Even when cops come to your door and knock and say, "What do you have in your pockets?" I will say, "Excuse me? I mean, I'm in my house." He will say, "I know. You're just a person I like to mess with."

      Police: US, racial profiling, mistreatment by;

    6. Ruben: Yeah, actually, we're in Mexico, I'm seeing a way to do a life that I want to do. Maybe I cannot go to school and graduate from some type of career, but I can work and be free. I can walk anywhere I want. I don't have to watch my back and say, "What neighborhood am I in?". The only thing in Mexico is at night, yeah, it's a little dangerous. Depends on the area you're in, but you don't have to worry about other gang members trying to shoot you or looking for you. I had an experience where we were buying groceries and four people walked in the store, the store was called Chia. They walked up to me, put the gun to my head and said, "Is that your mom right there behind you?" And I said "Yes, she is." "Well, you better thank her, because she just gave you life again."

      Return to Mexico, challenges, continuing education, employment, cirme and violence;

    7. Ruben: Well, I mean, look in LA in 83rd St. from Vermont in 59th all the way to 96th St., there was problems in between African American kids and Mexican kids. They didn't like us because we were not American. So all of that, it actually starts making us say, "Hey, I can fight. I can hit you, just seeing what you do." So, you start growing some type of anger towards the streets and reveal another person. Right away, you actually snap and start doing things you're not used to. You start losing fear. Some people, well actually, I had a friend, he stabbed another kid, and they were both 14. I didn't have the guts to do that. Well when I saw that, I said, "Man, it looks easy. That guy that bugs me might need that."Ruben: So, those are the ideas that you start getting. The other kids, or other little gang members, see that, so that's going to pull you towards them, "Hey, come here. This is where you belong. We are your family." I always said, "It's dumb to say I got in the neighborhood because my family, they didn't love me."Ruben: I mean, I'm going to tell you one thing. My mom used to hit me with the cable from, I don't know if you remember the old radios, with those cables because she didn't want me on the streets. When I grew up, I told her, "Every hit that you gave me, it actually made me a little bit stronger on the streets." So when somebody will hit me, it wouldn't even hurt. So, you start growing that anger, that anger, that anger, and you get an attitude. That's when, and you actually join a gang. When they see that you are already ready for that.

      Gangs, affiliation, camaraderie, family, fitting in; Gangs, fights; Homelife, family, fights, arguments, teenage rebellion;

    8. Anita: You were part of a gang. Why do you think kids like you end up in gangs?Ruben: There's three things that I have noticed why we get involved. Well the first one will be we're Latin, we're Mexican. So, cops don't pick people. Cops, they actually just go directly to you, and they start poking you and poking you saying, "What are you doing? What do you have in your pockets? Take everything out of your pockets, put your hands on your head." For somebody that is not involved in a gang, or at least with kids that are doing something bad, it's something that gives you anger. Not hate towards the cops, because they are actually doing their job, but why you picked me when you just saw the other guy going by and he looks more dangerous than I do?So, Mexican kids get poked on by the cops. So, you start growing some type of anger like, "Why me? Okay, you want to see me like that?"

      Gangs, affiliation, fitting in; Police: US, mistreatment by, racial profiling; Feelings, anger;

    1. Author Response:

      Reviewer #3:

      A. Summary of what the authors were trying to achieve

      The authors seek to understand how whole-animal behavior is represented in the nervous system. They approach this problem utilizing high-speed volumetric calcium imaging in freely moving nematodes (C. elegans). In recording from a majority of neurons in the head, this approach is state-of-the art in C. elegans and, arguably, far beyond what is likely to be achieved in most other organisms in the foreseeable future. Imaging data are analyzed by training a linear decoder to predict the instantaneous locomotion velocity and body curvature from instantaneous neuronal activity at single neuron resolution.

      B. Major strengths and weaknesses of the methods and results

      The paper has numerous strengths:

      1) State-of-the art simultaneous imaging of brain-wide neuronal activity and unrestrained behavior.

      2) The overall approach has been published in two papers by this group and one from another group, but this is the first paper that actually takes the next logical step: connecting the recordings back to behavior. This is a major strength.

      3) Comparison of neuronal dynamics during locomotion and immobilization in the same worm.

      4) Rigorous data collection and modeling.

      The paper in its current form has a number of weaknesses:

      1) Several of the main findings of the paper seem rather obvious. (i) "We report that a neural population more accurately decodes locomotion than any single neuron (Abstract)". Similarly, "We conclude that neural population codes are important for understanding neural dynamics of behavior in moving animals." (ii) "Our measurements suggest that neural dynamics from immobilized animals may not entirely reflect the neural dynamics of locomotion." Consider rephrasing, as this sentence is almost a tautology: "…neural dynamics in the absence of locomotion may not entirely reflect the dynamics in the presence of locomotion (line 379)." Can these conclusions be rephrased, or put in a more significant context?

      Thank you for this feedback. We have completely rewritten the relevant portion of the discussion to better place our findings in context and better convey the implications.

      "That C. elegans neural dynamics exhibit different correlation structure during movement than during immobilization has implications for neural representations of locomotion. For example, it is now common to use dimensionality reduction techniques like PCA to search for low-dimensional trajectories or manifolds that relate to behavior or decision making in animals undergoing move- ment (Churchland et al., 2012; Harvey et al., 2012; Shenoy et al., 2013) or in immobilized animals undergoing fictive locomotion (Briggman et al., 2005; Kato et al., 2015). PCA critically depends on the correlation structure to define its principal components. In C. elegans, the low-dimensional neural trajectories observed in immobilized animals undergoing fictive locomotion, and the un- derlying correlation structure that defines those trajectories, are being used to draw conclusions about neural dynamics of actual locomotion. Our measurements suggest that to obtain a more complete picture of C. elegans neural dynamics related to locomotion, it will be helpful to probe neural state space trajectories recorded during actual locomotion: both because the neural dy- namics themselves may differ during immobilization, but also because the correlation structure observed in the network, and consequently the relevant principal components, change upon im- mobilization. These changes may be due to proprioception (Wen et al., 2012), or due to different internal states associated with fictive versus actual locomotion."

      And we have rewritten portions of the introduction, for example:

      "There has not yet been a systematic exploration of the types and distribution of locomotor related signals present in the neural population during movement and their tunings. So for example, it is not known whether all forward related neurons exhibit duplicate neural signals or whether a variety of distinct signals are combined. Interestingly, results from recordings in immobile animals suggest that population neural state space trajectories in a low dimensional space may encode global motor commands (Kato et al., 2015) , but this has yet to be explored in moving animals. Despite growing interest in the role of population dynamics in the worm, their dimensionality, and their relation to behavior (Costa et al., 2019; Linderman et al., 2019; Brennan and Proekt, 2019; Fieseler et al., 2020) it is not known how locomotory related information contained at the population level compares to that contained at the level of single neurons. And importantly, current findings of population dynamics related to locomotion in C. elegans are from immobilized animals. While there are clear benefits in studying fictive locomotion (Ahrens et al., 2012; Briggman et al., 2005; Kato et al., 2015), it is not known for C. elegans how neural population dynamics during immobile fictive locomotion compare to population dynamics during actual movement."

      2) The rationale for the decoding exercises seems underdeveloped. Figs. 3-6 are motivated by the question of whether "activity of the neural population might be more informative of the worm's locomotion than an individual neuron." It just seems obvious this will be the case. There might be a missed opportunity, here. Perhaps a stronger motivation would be to ask whether locomotion related signals can be found in the subset of neurons found in the head. The alternative hypothesis would be that head neurons alone are not sufficient, the implication being that the ventral cord and/or tail ganglia must be included.

      We have added rationale for decoding in the results section:

      “...because an effective strategy adopted by the decoder may also be available to the brain, understanding how the decoder works also illustrates plausible strategies that the brain could employ to represent locomotion.”

      And added motivation in the introduction:

      “...Despite growing interest in the role of population dynamics in the worm, their dimensionality, and their relation to behavior (Costa et al., 2019; Linderman et al., 2019; Brennan and Proekt, 2019; Fieseler et al., 2020) it is not known how locomotory related information contained at the population level compares to that contained at the level of single neurons. ”

      The ideas about head vs ventral cord and tail are interesting, but since we are limited in what we can say about signals beyond the head we hesitated to pursue that path.

      3) The logic of how decoding exercises are interpreted also seems underdeveloped: (i) Why isn't the finding of locomotion-related signals in the head a forgone conclusion? After all, the worm's head is literally "carving the furrow" that the rest of the body follows, leading to body curvatures that ought to be correlated with with neuronal activity in the head. Furthermore, a substantial fraction of head neurons are nose and neck muscle motor neurons. These contribute to overall thrust, which in the worm's fluidic regime is proportional to velocity. Thus, as stronger head motor neuron activation would generate more thrust, there a correlation with velocity is expected. (ii) What does it mean to say, "The distribution of weights assigned by the decoder provides information about how behavior is represented in the brain (p. 8)"? Who or what is reading this representation? Is the representation detected by the decoder necessarily in the same or similar language used by the worm's brain? If not, how are the decoder findings significant for understanding locomotion in the worm? (iii) It seems likely that the decoder picks up signals of neurons that causally regulate locomotion, but also signals that follow from it (e.g., efference copy, proprioception, re-entrant signals, etc.). Assuming this is true, again: how are the decoder findings significant for understanding locomotion in the worm? (iv) In what ways, if at all, is the decoder a model for worm locomotion? If it's not a model, how does it improve our understanding of locomotion, or our future ability to construct and informative model?

      Response to items 3 and 4 are combined below.

      4) The Discussion seems to miss key points: (i) What are the main limitations of the approach (paucity of identified neurons, inability of Ca imaging to report inhibition, etc)? (ii) Why are the limitations non-fatal? (iii) What are the broader impacts of the main conclusions? For example, what is this significance of the finding of locomotion representations in the C. elegans nervous system or, indeed, in any nervous system? How do the results illuminate neural mechanisms of behavior?

      We thank the reviewer for posing these thoughtful questions. We have rewritten the discussion to better explore some of the implications of our finding that a linear model works to decode locomotion and we explicitly highlight limitations including those related to:

      • Neural identities: “ Future studies using newly developed methods for identifying neurons (Yemeni et al., 2020) are needed to reveal the identities of those neurons weighted by the decoder for decoding velocity, curvature, or both.”

      • Linear vs nonlinear models: “...This does not preclude the brain from using other methods for representing behavior.”

      • Distinguishing motor commands from signals that monitor: “... the measurements here do not distinguish between neural signals that drive locomotion, such as motor commands; and neural signals that monitor locomotion generated elsewhere, such as proprioceptive feedback”

    2. Reviewer #3 (Public Review): 

      A. Summary of what the authors were trying to achieve 

      The authors seek to understand how whole-animal behavior is represented in the nervous system. They approach this problem utilizing high-speed volumetric calcium imaging in freely moving nematodes (C. elegans). In recording from a majority of neurons in the head, this approach is state-of-the art in C. elegans and, arguably, far beyond what is likely to be achieved in most other organisms in the foreseeable future. Imaging data are analyzed by training a linear decoder to predict the instantaneous locomotion velocity and body curvature from instantaneous neuronal activity at single neuron resolution. 

      B. Major strengths and weaknesses of the methods and results 

      The paper has numerous strengths: 

      1) State-of-the art simultaneous imaging of brain-wide neuronal activity and unrestrained behavior. 

      2) The overall approach has been published in two papers by this group and one from another group, but this is the first paper that actually takes the next logical step: connecting the recordings back to behavior. This is a major strength. 

      3) Comparison of neuronal dynamics during locomotion and immobilization in the same worm. 

      4) Rigorous data collection and modeling. 

      The paper in its current form has a number of weaknesses: 

      1) Several of the main findings of the paper seem rather obvious. (i) "We report that a neural population more accurately decodes locomotion than any single neuron (Abstract)". Similarly, "We conclude that neural population codes are important for understanding neural dynamics of behavior in moving animals." (ii) "Our measurements suggest that neural dynamics from immobilized animals may not entirely reflect the neural dynamics of locomotion." Consider rephrasing, as this sentence is almost a tautology: "...neural dynamics in the absence of locomotion may not entirely reflect the dynamics in the presence of locomotion (line 379)." Can these conclusions be rephrased, or put in a more significant context? 

      2) The rationale for the decoding exercises seems underdeveloped. Figs. 3-6 are motivated by the question of whether "activity of the neural population might be more informative of the worm's locomotion than an individual neuron." It just seems obvious this will be the case. There might be a missed opportunity, here. Perhaps a stronger motivation would be to ask whether locomotion related signals can be found in the subset of neurons found in the head. The alternative hypothesis would be that head neurons alone are not sufficient, the implication being that the ventral cord and/or tail ganglia must be included. 

      3) The logic of how decoding exercises are interpreted also seems underdeveloped: (i) Why isn't the finding of locomotion-related signals in the head a forgone conclusion? After all, the worm's head is literally "carving the furrow" that the rest of the body follows, leading to body curvatures that ought to be correlated with with neuronal activity in the head. Furthermore, a substantial fraction of head neurons are nose and neck muscle motor neurons. These contribute to overall thrust, which in the worm's fluidic regime is proportional to velocity. Thus, as stronger head motor neuron activation would generate more thrust, there a correlation with velocity is expected. (ii) What does it mean to say, "The distribution of weights assigned by the decoder provides information about how behavior is represented in the brain (p. 8)"? Who or what is reading this representation? Is the representation detected by the decoder necessarily in the same or similar language used by the worm's brain? If not, how are the decoder findings significant for understanding locomotion in the worm? (iii) It seems likely that the decoder picks up signals of neurons that causally regulate locomotion, but also signals that follow from it (e.g., efference copy, proprioception, re-entrant signals, etc.). Assuming this is true, again: how are the decoder findings significant for understanding locomotion in the worm? (iv) In what ways, if at all, is the decoder a model for worm locomotion? If it's not a model, how does it improve our understanding of locomotion, or our future ability to construct and informative model? 

      4) The Discussion seems to miss key points: (i) What are the main limitations of the approach (paucity of identified neurons, inability of Ca imaging to report inhibition, etc)? (ii) Why are the limitations non-fatal? (iii) What are the broader impacts of the main conclusions? For example, what is this significance of the finding of locomotion representations in the C. elegans nervous system or, indeed, in any nervous system? How do the results illuminate neural mechanisms of behavior? 

      C. Appraisal of whether the authors achieved their aims, and whether the results support their conclusions. 

      The authors convincingly demonstrate that locomotion-related signals are present in their recordings. The effects are fairly robust. But if an implied aim was also to elucidate mechanisms of locomotion in C. elegans, this was not achieved. 

      D. A discussion of the likely impact of the work on the field, and the utility of the methods and data to the community. 

      The authors have not made the case that their main findings are broadly significant. We learn what the linear decoder finds in the neuronal data - sustained and transient locomotion signals and distinct populations of velocity and curvature tuned neurons - but we do not learn what these properties of the decoder have to say about biological mechanisms. This problem is especially acute given: (i) the likelihood of neural correlations with behavior that are not functional representations of behavior and (ii) the absence of evidence that the decodable information is in fact used by the worm. We also learn that, as one would expect, immobilization alters the correlation structure of neural activity, but this finding has not been placed in a mechanistic context.

    1. you would not start writing your uh your message your email 00:41:43 in rdf you just type it in your natural language and that should be that should be um not just a matter you do it and there are easy way to 00:41:55 to annotate it that's not enough uh we need much more innovation this in this area to to to make it to make it natural to make it because now there are huge opportunities 00:42:07 that these people using lpgs for machine learning are missing out because of not using rdf and also i see the opposite yeah it's the tribalism that we talked 00:42:21 about before and and when the the uh linked open data community or the semantics community um makes a suggestion or tries to 00:42:32 incentivize good behavior it's it's the tail lag in the dog we just don't have a critical mass of um of um influence 00:42:44 to to really have an impact on the larger developer community for example and um you know certainly the business analysts who are you know likely to to need what we have 00:42:57 and and need to learn how to use it
      • would not star writing message or email in rdf
      • just type natural language
      • easy ways to annotate it
      • need more innovation
      • people using lpgs nor using rdf missing out
      • tribalism semantic community don't have the critical mass
      • to influence wider developer community
  3. migration-encounters-prototype.netlify.app migration-encounters-prototype.netlify.app
    1. Anne:        And you're now at TeleTech?Uriel:        Yeah. I just started.Anne:        What do you think about that?Uriel:        I think it's perfect. They hired me with all my tattoos and I talk English, which is right. I think it's good.Anne:        You made any friends?Uriel:        Actually female friends, yeah.Anne:        Are they at TeleTech too?Uriel:        Yeah, they're right there too.Anne:        So that's good.Uriel:        Yeah.

      Return to Mexico, jobs, occupation, call centers, community;

    2. Uriel:        Yeah. I'm barely getting to know Mexico and...Anne:        What do you think?Uriel:        Sucks. Excuse my language, ma'am.Anne:        It’s okay. Tell me why it sucks?Uriel:        Just everything. Pshh, [scoffing] The money, the way that people are here, the way the law is here, everything, everything. I don't like it.

      Return to Mexico, challenges, cultural differences, mental health;

    3. Anne:        So once you were caught, did you go to court?Uriel:        Yeah, I got, went to court. I got sentenced. They gave me seven years.Anne:        So is that a lot for the crime, do you think?Uriel:        I think it is a long time. It means seven years of my life… gone. In the trash.Anne:        Yeah. And so what kind of prison did you go to?Uriel:        Federal prison.Anne:        It's tough.Uriel:        Yeah. It's tough.Anne:        Tell me about it. Was it hard to survive it?Uriel:        Yeah, it is. It is. It's hard, but, you just got to mind your own business and stick to yourself and you'll be all right.Anne:        So you did? You stuck to your own business and kept clean and?Uriel:        Yeah. That's how you survive.

      Arrests, Prison, inmates;

    4. Anne:        You were… Gangs?Uriel:        Yeah. I'm an ex-gang member. You know?Anne:        So why do you think kids like you end up in gangs?Uriel:        I think because of the way that they live, you know, and the things that happened to them. You know? It's hard, sometimes.Anne:        Hard to avoid?Uriel:        Yeah. Not only that, but just the experience you know that happens. Like for instance, me and my brothers, like our parents were never there, so we were running the streets.Anne:        Do your parents know?Uriel:        Yeah. My parents know.Anne:        They knew that you were out in the streets?Uriel:        No, they didn't at the time, but...Anne:        Eventually.Uriel:        Yeah.

      Gangs, affiliation, camaraderie, family;

  4. migration-encounters-prototype.netlify.app migration-encounters-prototype.netlify.app
    1. Claudia:        And what can the U.S. government do to help Mexican deportees and the families that they leave behind?Ana:        Well, I think that it depends on the kids, because I know that a lot of people there have like this bad experiences about people robbing and doing bad stuff. I understand that that's a real problem, but of course it's not all of the people. So some people just wanting to have a better life and they don't know how to read and they don't have enough experience, but they're working hard, I don't know. Maybe they already build their family, they have kids or something. Maybe they didn't get married with someone there so that's why they didn't have the residency. But I feel there's a lot of people that gets away from their families because of that. So, I think that will be priority number one, so check if they have a job, if they have a family so they can maybe see the way they can help them by proving what are they doing. So, it can be something safe for people staying and for the residents.

      Reflections, the United States, policy to help migrants; Immigration status, broken system;

    2. Ana:        Well, I don't know, like when I was here, I was in this really small group of people, because even when my parents didn't have that much money, they have a lot of friends [inaudible 00:08:13]. So, I mean, they all know each other, just like families that do everything together, they go to all the places together. So, I don't know, they were so, so close. So, I didn't have the chance to know more people here until the time. I still have friends from those families and it's pretty cool. But when I went there, I get to know more people, so they were all different. So, I don't know. Talking with them, knowing their own stories. There were also some people from other countries that have migrated. So, getting to know all of that, it's just like a completely different world. You understand that the place you born or the things that you know, are not the only things that actually exist. So, it made me have more dreams and I wanted to get to know more part of parts of the world and stuff like that. So basically, this is what I do right now. I go to places, I take some photographs, I do a lot of research about the story behind those places. So, I think that's something that I learned while I was there.

      Time in the US; Reflections, favorite parts about the US, family, friends;

  5. migration-encounters-prototype.netlify.app migration-encounters-prototype.netlify.app
    1. Anita:        What was hard?MARIA:        You mean going over there?Anita:        Yeah.MARIA:        The way we left.Anita:        What do you mean?MARIA:        We couldn't take stuff, we was cold, we was in the desert and the animals and everything. It was scary. It was...Anita:        Tell me about it a bit.MARIA:        Well I don't remember that much, because I was small. I was like…well, my mom was like, "Oh, we're going to go over there, it's going to be prettier, and were going to have a better life." And I was like, "Oh, okay." And my other sister was like, "Okay." So we left and we was not thinking about what was going to happen or anything. We were just happy that we was going to go and visit and see how was it.Anita:        But you said it was scary crossing?MARIA:        Yes, it was.Anita:        Do you remember that?MARIA:        Because we were cold, because we were in the desert and it was at night, and it was cold we could hear a lot of animals. And that was scary.Anita:        How long were you in the desert for? Do you remember?MARIA:        Like one night.

      Migration from Mexico, border crossing, general, desert; Feelings, fear;

    1. Olimpya: Yes. There's more time than life. That's something I want. I just want, even if it's for a day, just go back, step to United States, look around, and remember everything that happened to me there. I'll be happy. I'll be happy because I miss my house. I miss my family. [Emotional]. Even though I got most of my family here, it's not the same. They don't care about you. When I needed my kidney transplant, because I need one, and my mom told my family that if anybody wanted to donate, nobody answered. Nobody said, "Hey, I can't, but I'll pray for you." Nobody. They just changed the topic. When I told my family in the States that I needed a kidney, my smallest cousin, he's around eighteen, he said, "Hey, I'll give it to you" right away. It makes me feel like I don't need to see you every day to be family. You're not my family. My family is in the States. They are my family. They love me. They care about me.

      Return to Mexico, challenges, family separation, illness, mental health;

    2. Olimpya: I think I changed my attitude a little bit. I said, "Okay. If I'm going to stay here, I'm going to do everything so when I'm older, I can leave this place." [Chuckles]. That was what I was always thinking about. After I finished middle school, I went onto high school. I was studying tourism. It was really cool, but then I got some friends that weren't really nice. [Chuckles]. So, I remember that's when I met alcohol. The school was really open. They wouldn't check on your backpacks. They wouldn't check on you like, "It's your responsibility to come to school, stay in school, and do your work. It's not ours. It's yours." Basically, what we used to do in the mornings, we had to be at school at 5:00 AM because we used to cook in the morning. Then around 7:00—we had, 7:00 to 8:00, a break. So we would call breakfast, but most of the time, when we would go breakfast, we would buy beers or stuff like that, and put it in cups and stuff. We would go back to school and be drinking during classes. So by 12:00, we were drunk. [Chuckles]. We wouldn't do anything. We would just be, "Yeah, yeah." Trying to study, but not doing nothing at all.Olimpya: By the time we would leave the school, we would go eat and get drunk again. Basically, that year, I was really drunk the whole time. My mom, she noticed that, what was going on. She said, "No, I'm taking you out of that school. It's too expensive and you're not doing anything. You already flunk every single class." I was like, "Okay, no. Cooking class is good." She would get mad at me, really mad. She's like, "No, you're going to another school, not so expensive, so you can value what you have. Come on." So she signed me up in another school. It was less money where she used to pay. The kids were other level. It wasn't beer. It was tequila. It was everything you can find. [Chuckles].

      Mexico, Challenges, continuing education, mental health, addiction, substance abuse;

    3. Olimpya: I was really mad because I had so much things on me on that moment, and it was so hard that I was like, "Oi. Fuck it. I'm just going to go and do what I have to do. I'm not going to let them hit me." So I hit them back. She got really bad because I hit her really bad. Since I didn't have stitches or anything, I was the one that got suspended and they didn't do anything to her. I was like, "I was just defending myself." It was like, "I don't care. You did this." "I did it, but why? You need to look at the background. Why did this happen? They're calling me names every single day. They're doing this. They're ripping my books. They're hitting me. They're pushing me. They can't do that to somebody and expect to just stay there." They didn't care. The principal was like, "No, you're suspended. You're leaving."Anita: What happened?Olimpya: I spent a week at home. My mom was really mad at me because she said I was taking everything in a really bad attitude, that it was just an attitude problem because I wanted to go back, but it was impossible. I was like, "It's not that. It's just that you don't take me in consideration. You don't see what's going on in my life. You're not looking at everything. This is not a place for me. If I was saved once by my aunt that keep me from everything that's going on right now with me, I shouldn't be going through this. She did so much for me, so I didn't have to go through this. And look at me where I am. The school is horrible. It's a jail." I can show you. Well, right now, it's not that bad because they fix it up, but when I was there, it was horrible. [Chuckling].Anita: Was that here in Mexico City?Olimpya: Yeah. Every time I pass that because I live really close, and every time I pass by the school, I get really mad. I still have problems with that because it's like... It gets me really mad. I was an excellent student in California and here, when I got here, I barely passed the year. It would get me frustrated because I was like, "Hey, I already saw this back in the States. This was third-grade things." I'm like, "Come on," but I couldn't remember. I couldn't do it even though I knew I could, and I knew it. It was really frustrating for me. I was just—

      Return to Mexico, challenges, school, bullying, discrimination, gangs, fighting, violence;

    4. Olimpya: Yeah, I was happy because I would get to do everything I wanted to. If I wanted to play football, I would play football. If I wanted to do this, track days, everything, I could do it because it was there for me. [Chuckles]. I used to like it. I would just get home, eat, finish my homework, and then go to another activity. So I was always busy, always busy, always busy. I don't know. That would keep my mind going. Here, you barely get physical education, so imagine the change. [Chuckles]Olimpya: [Laughs]. I was a happy kid. No, because even though we were a small family, like my mom, my brothers, my aunt, uncle, cousins, and my grandparents, we were very unite. We used to love to spend time with each other. My aunt, she's like my angel. It's really fun because we were born on the same day.

      Pastimes, sports, playing, football; Feelings, happiness; Homelife, family;

    5. Olimpya: Yes. There's more time than life. That's something I want. I just want, even if it's for a day, just go back, step to United States, look around, and remember everything that happened to me there. I'll be happy. I'll be happy because I miss my house. I miss my family. [Emotional]. Even though I got most of my family here, it's not the same. They don't care about you. When I needed my kidney transplant, because I need one, and my mom told my family that if anybody wanted to donate, nobody answered. Nobody said, "Hey, I can't, but I'll pray for you." Nobody. They just changed the topic. When I told my family in the States that I needed a kidney, my smallest cousin, he's around eighteen, he said, "Hey, I'll give it to you" right away. It makes me feel like I don't need to see you every day to be family. You're not my family. My family is in the States. They are my family. They love me. They care about me.

      time in the us, illness

    6. Olimpya: I think I changed my attitude a little bit. I said, "Okay. If I'm going to stay here, I'm going to do everything so when I'm older, I can leave this place." [Chuckles]. That was what I was always thinking about. After I finished middle school, I went onto high school. I was studying tourism. It was really cool, but then I got some friends that weren't really nice. [Chuckles]. So, I remember that's when I met alcohol. The school was really open. They wouldn't check on your backpacks. They wouldn't check on you like, "It's your responsibility to come to school, stay in school, and do your work. It's not ours. It's yours." Basically, what we used to do in the mornings, we had to be at school at 5:00 AM because we used to cook in the morning. Then around 7:00—we had, 7:00 to 8:00, a break. So we would call breakfast, but most of the time, when we would go breakfast, we would buy beers or stuff like that, and put it in cups and stuff. We would go back to school and be drinking during classes. So by 12:00, we were drunk. [Chuckles]. We wouldn't do anything. We would just be, "Yeah, yeah." Trying to study, but not doing nothing at all.

      time in the us, school, struggling/suspension/dropping out ;

    7. Olimpya: Yeah. Every time I pass that because I live really close, and every time I pass by the school, I get really mad. I still have problems with that because it's like... It gets me really mad. I was an excellent student in California and here, when I got here, I barely passed the year. It would get me frustrated because I was like, "Hey, I already saw this back in the States. This was third-grade things." I'm like, "Come on," but I couldn't remember. I couldn't do it even though I knew I could, and I knew it. It was really frustrating for me. I was just—

      time in the us, school, struggling/suspension/dropping out

    8. Olimpya: I spent a week at home. My mom was really mad at me because she said I was taking everything in a really bad attitude, that it was just an attitude problem because I wanted to go back, but it was impossible. I was like, "It's not that. It's just that you don't take me in consideration. You don't see what's going on in my life. You're not looking at everything. This is not a place for me. If I was saved once by my aunt that keep me from everything that's going on right now with me, I shouldn't be going through this. She did so much for me, so I didn't have to go through this. And look at me where I am. The school is horrible. It's a jail." I can show you. Well, right now, it's not that bad because they fix it up, but when I was there, it was horrible. [Chuckling].

      time in the us, school, struggling/suspension/dropping out

    9. Olimpya: Yeah. It's our birthday. [Laughs]. So, we were born on the same day, and we didn't know it. We were just like, "Huh." But she used to take care of me a lot. If she would see me doing nothing, she was like, "Oh, come here. I'll teach you something." So she would pull me a lot to everywhere. If it was vacationsand I was at home alone—because my brothers were already old, and they're guys, so they're doing their thing—she would be like, "Hey, come to my house. Stay here for the vacations," and I would go with her. She's a Christian, and they got a lot of activities on vacations like Bible school, this, and that, so I used to love going over there. She started pulling me and pulling me until one day she told my mom, "Hey, she's growing up. She needs to have somebody that takes care of her 24/7. You work a lot. Let her live with us. She's your kid. You can see whenever you want, but let her live with us. We'll give her everything that you can't give her at the moment."

      time in the us, family, parents/step-parents

    10. Olimpya: Yeah. Yeah. My son is in first grade, so he is about the age when I left. Last week, he came to me. He's like, "Hey, mom. I need to tell you something, but you're going to get really mad." I was like, "Okay. Tell me." I thought he did something bad. He's like, "I'm in love." [Laughing]. So, I was just like, "Hold on. I was expecting something else." So he's like, "I'm in love." I'm like, "Okay. That's not bad. I'm not going to get mad at it." "Wait, mom. It gets worse.” I'm like, "Okay." "She's in third grade." [Chuckles]. So, I was like, "Okay. She's old for him," but inside of me, I thought about it, right? I was like, "Okay. I'm not going to tell him ‘No, you can't, because you're too small, because she's a girl. She's too big.’ No." I was like, "Okay. That's fine. She's a girl. You're a boy. What's the problem?" He's like, "Are you sure?" I'm like, "Yeah. You like her. Be nice to her. Buy her a chocolate, a rose. Be nice. Respect her." So, he looked at me and he's like, "Can I write a letter for her?" I was like, "Go ahead." So instead of teaching him to not respect girls since he's that small, it's like turning it around. Respect her. If you like her, respect her. That's it.

      time in the us, family

    11. Olimpya: Yeah. Yeah. My son is in first grade, so he is about the age when I left. Last week, he came to me. He's like, "Hey, mom. I need to tell you something, but you're going to get really mad." I was like, "Okay. Tell me." I thought he did something bad. He's like, "I'm in love." [Laughing]. So, I was just like, "Hold on. I was expecting something else." So he's like, "I'm in love." I'm like, "Okay. That's not bad. I'm not going to get mad at it." "Wait, mom. It gets worse.” I'm like, "Okay." "She's in third grade." [Chuckles]. So, I was like, "Okay. She's old for him," but inside of me, I thought about it, right? I was like, "Okay. I'm not going to tell him ‘No, you can't, because you're too small, because she's a girl. She's too big.’ No." I was like, "Okay. That's fine. She's a girl. You're a boy. What's the problem?" He's like, "Are you sure?" I'm like, "Yeah. You like her. Be nice to her. Buy her a chocolate, a rose. Be nice. Respect her." So, he looked at me and he's like, "Can I write a letter for her?" I was like, "Go ahead." So instead of teaching him to not respect girls since he's that small, it's like turning it around. Respect her. If you like her, respect her. That's it.

      reflections, the united states, mexico

    1. “Ordinary people don’t think about debt the way billionaires think about debt,” said Edward McCaffery, a University of Southern California law professor who says he coined the buy-borrow-die phrase. “Once you’re already rich, it’s simple, it’s easy. It’s just buy, borrow, die. These are planks of the law that have been in place for 100 years.”

      Why do you think that most people don't follow this strategy?

    1. So Nightingall suggests something called a pre-frame. It’s an idea based in the field of neurolinguistic programming, which coaches people to “reframe” the possible negative thoughts of others — ­­in essence redefining their expectations for the interaction to come. Ordinarily, we might be wary if a stranger just starts talking to us. We don’t know who they are, or what they want, or whether they’re right in the head. What a pre-frame does is reassure them that you know all this.To do it, you acknowledge out of the gate that this is a violation of a social norm. You say something like “Look, I know we’re not supposed to talk to people on the subway, but…” This demonstrates that you’re in full possession of your faculties. You’re not erratic, disturbed, or otherwise off in some way.

      alleviate the wariness

    2. Nightingall suggested asking simpler and more open-ended questions. Instead of saying, “Do you think this was because you were a control freak?” just echo, or say, “Why do you think that is?” That is the opposite of what I usually do, but it’s what I must learn to do. In a good conversation, you must relinquish control. Your job is to help your partner arrive at their own conclusion and surprise you, not to ferret out whatever it is, slap a bow on it, and go, Next! There’s a powerful lesson there: If you’re interested only in things you know you’re interested in, you will never be surprised. You’ll never learn anything new, or gain a fresh perspective, or make a new friend or contact. The key to talking to strangers, it turns out, is letting go, letting them lead. Then the world opens itself to you.

      then the world opens itself to you

    1. 16. (Paragraph 95) When the American colonies were under British rule there were fewer and less effective legal guarantees of freedom than there were after the American Constitution went into effect, yet there was more personal freedom in pre-industrial America, both before and after the War of Independence, than there was after the Industrial Revolution took hold in this country. We quote from “Violence in America: Historical and Comparative Perspectives,” edited by Hugh Davis Graham and Ted Robert Gurr, Chapter 12 by Roger Lane, pages 476-478: “The progressive heightening of standards of propriety, and with it the increasing reliance on official law enforcement (in 19th century America) ... were common to the whole society.... [T]he change in social behavior is so long term and so widespread as to suggest a connection with the most fundamental of contemporary social processes; that of industrial urbanization itself....”Massachusetts in 1835 had a population of some 660,940, 81 percent rural, overwhelmingly preindustrial and native born. It’s citizens were used to considerable personal freedom. Whether teamsters, farmers or artisans, they were all accustomed to setting their own schedules, and the nature of their work made them physically independent of each other.... Individual problems, sins or even crimes, were not generally cause for wider social concern....”But the impact of the twin movements to the city and to the factory, both just gathering force in 1835, had a progressive effect on personal behavior throughout the 19th century and into the 20th. The factory demanded regularity of behavior, a life governed by obedience to the rhythms of clock and calendar, the demands of foreman and supervisor. In the city or town, the needs of living in closely packed neighborhoods inhibited many actions previously unobjectionable. Both blue- and white-collar employees in larger establishments were mutually dependent on their fellows; as one man’s work fit into anther’s, so one man’s business was no longer his own. “The results of the new organization of life and work were apparent by 1900, when some 76 percent of the 2,805,346 inhabitants of Massachusetts were classified as urbanites. Much violent or irregular behavior which had been tolerable in a casual, independent society was no longer acceptable in the more formalized, cooperative atmosphere of the later period.... The move to the cities had, in short, produced a more tractable, more socialized, more ‘civilized’ generation than its predecessors.”

      on the move from the rural to the urban — how populations entered "the System"

    1. one lawless Mohammedan hand to another

      The narrator already makes his lack of awareness apparent here. I'm assuming that the narrator is British, and it's ironic that he's calling the Mohammedans "lawless" for passing around the Moonstone when it was also common for British colonizers to steal sacred artifacts. I'm curious to see if he'll have the same criticism of the British later on, or if he just doesn't realize the irony in this moment.

    1. Joana: I don't remember. That's the only thing I don't. I don't know if my brain blocked it because it was traumatizing. I really have tried to remember, and I can't. I don't know why, but I really can't. [Chuckles]. It's weird because the thing that I remember is a smell, a certain smell that when you get a cold and you get sick. It's so distinguishing that if I smell it, it'll just throw me back. I can't really describe the smell, but it's just one thing.

      mexico before the us, migration from mexico, border crossing

    1. Luis: And I did that. And the first obstacle was that since I wasn't really a resident, or even a citizen or whatever, the fee, the tuition for, per credit was triple. So it was, I had to work a lot just to pay for mediocre education.Anne: They've changed that now, in California.Luis: They have, that's what I heard. I was like, [annoyed sound]. It's okay though. I mean, because my little brother actually graduated and he's like a mechanic or something. And he has DACA [Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals], so.

      DACA, eligibility, siblings;

    1. one right way to write, and an idealized canon of authors conven-tionally considered ‘great’.

      This is a concept I constantly find myself struggling with. I do believe students should master different forms of writing (argumentative, informative, etc.), but I also believe it's crucial to provide opportunities for students to write in a way that is familiar to them. Personally, I tend to care more about the message my student is trying to send, and less about spelling and grammar in the moment. I believe conventions are important, but can always be fixed later. The interpretation of a text better represents a students ability to interact with literacy in my opinion. I always tell my students "we can always make it pretty later, I care about your reaction to what you just read more right now."

    2. When I read the word "Literacy," I think of what it used to mean to me--old, dusty books written by white men. I had a very negative experience with ELA growing up in school because I truly disliked what I was taught in class which just so happened to be the canons. It's almost comical that I did become an English teacher because I really disliked the subject in school. Thankfully, the word literacy has broadened! I think this new definition of literacy embodies my love and magic for reading!

    1. In the Nineties, scientists at Nasa fed a variety of psychoactive substances to spiders to observe the effect on their web-making. The spider given caffeine spun a completely useless web, with no symmetry or centre, and holes large enough for a bird to get through. The web was much more dysfunctional than those spun by spiders high on cannabis or LSD. It’s unclear from the book (and from my subsequent Google searches) whether the spider was given the arachnid equivalent of a single cappuccino or a more Balzacian dose, which makes the comparison with other drugs less helpful, but Pollan’s point is that caffeine changes us more than we realise. Anyone who has accidentally overdosed on coffee and found themselves too jittery to function will identify with the caffeinated spider, who was extremely busy being unproductive. Perhaps the spider could even serve as a symbol for low-paid workers under present-day, hyper-caffeinated capitalism, for whom hard work yields so few personal rewards.

      A lot of the time I don't like when authors put in lazy asides like "capitalism amirite" but this one is just flawless. I mean, obviously it's a great segue, but think about it: all of the spiders' webs were useless. They were made under experimental conditions. If a spider could believe it was laboring towards a reward, in this case, it would be wrong!

    1. 2. Don’t just copy-paste in-person training to an online environmentHowever, it isn’t just as easy as hitting control C on an hour-long in-person lecture and pasting it as notes for your Zoom-based training. You need to have a virtual classroom strategy. Here are a few ideas to get you started:A full day of training ≠ a full day of synchronous training online‘Read the room’ with polls Identify and fix issues quickly with post-classroom surveys Align content with expectations using pre-classroom surveysHow social do you want this experience to be? Webcam, microphone, chat, moderators...Include alternative voices, even in the instructor-led sessionsEncourage people to use the chat so that they put what they learn into writing ⌨️ Make sure everyone speaks at least once, even if it’s just for a brief intro 🗣️Encourage participants to become facilitators themselves to change the power distribution of the call 👩👵🏽👨

      trying to copy-paste what worked into the office into the zoom-working-during-pandemic world is where many companies struggled during the pandemic.

      First, working during a pandemic is not the same as working from home / remote work - and letting this overly influence us over how things will be is not a great idea.

    1. its ability to deal with overlapping structures outstrips that of almost all modern markup schemes.

      I love seeing an old method, program, or way of doing things stand the test of time and remain unbeaten through years of innovation. It's just really cool to see something make such a lasting mark, as well as often seeing people decades or centuries later (though not in computer context) go back to traditional/basic methods because they just work better.

    1. large number of small tasks that add up

      space it out. 2 for the morning, 2 for the afternoon, 2 for the evening. this is an example where a to-do list may not be desirable compared to a time-block schedule or other organization method.

      organize them into priorities of what needs to be done first and last. this will help give some order and help make the list less daunting since you know what to do, in what order.

      make it seem easier and less daunting by labeling them with the approximate amount of time it'll take. if one task seems too long, u can cut down the approximate time required just a little as a means of "deception," or break it down into smaller chunks that require less time.

      don't overwhelm yourself with too many tasks. try giving some variety in the types of tasks if that works for you. can help make the large list of small tasks seem less daunting.

      it's like sorting out a tall pile of papers. sort them into different, smaller piles for different categories first, then focus only on each one at a time. it will seem less overwhelming and time will pass quicker cuz u can put ur mind to the task.

  6. researching-wicked-problems.press.plymouth.edu researching-wicked-problems.press.plymouth.edu
    1. Check your emotions. If a claim causes strong emotion — anger, glee, pride, vindication — STOP. 

      I just want to pause on this step here. It seems so obvious--so basic--but I think it's more vital and more challenging than ever. For instance, I don't think that I have strong skills in this area. I think about how easily triggered I become by headlines in a a social media feed, for instance.

    1. Noe: Yeah, one example, when I first got into my village, I make a shrimp fried rice with fruit spring rolls. They only ate the spring rolls. They didn't like the fried rice with the shrimp. They’re like, “This is the best thing that you gave me?” There is a big pot, maybe three pounds, three pounds of rice. It was decent. “No, I don't like the rice, because it's just rice.” “Eat it with the chopsticks, I don't think you guys can use it, so use a fork.” They're like, “No, I don't want to eat just rice.” “Why?” “Because I'm not a chicken.” I'm like, “Just eat it.” And now they're saying, “Oh it just tastes like garlic.” “That's what fried rice tastes like! Okay, fuck it! Just leave it, I'll just eat it all by myself.” Yeah, they didn't like it. Some of my friends, they like it, but my family, my parents, they're like super Mexican. [Chuckles]. They don't really used to a different type. They give you beans, tortillas, and pork meat, and beef meat. They're happy with it.

      reflections, dreams

    2. Noe: No. Not at all, due to my immigration status. It's like everything. The U.S.A. just swallow you into the system. And it's fine. It's working. The thing that you not able to leave the country, you get used to it, like, “Oh, it's just Mexico.” I was just playing. To be honest, I would never come back. I would never come back if I wouldn't have deported, so that's one positive thing about the deportation. I got to know my country, my culture. Got to spend more time with my family. If it wouldn’t have been like that, I would never have come to Mexico. Yeah, I think all the people that leave Mexico and emigrate to the US, we do the same thing. “Okay, next year, I'm going to go to Mexico.” The year goes by, and the year go by. “Okay, in two years, I'm going to try to save my money and I'm going to Mexico.” The two years go by, and it just goes by, goes by, it goes by, it goes by. It's just like that.

      time in the us, immigration status, being secretive, in the shadows

    3. Noe: Cuauhtemoc, a big icon about the Aztec. Cuauhtemoc, they used to live there. There's a lot of finds that have been happening around the village. Whenever I go, when I have a chance, I go up there, and just explore the caves. I've been finding paintings, prehistoric paintings. There's a lot of culture that I've been seeing that I like. That's one thing, that I'm getting to know more of my country. Well, my family. I get to see my family more often. If I stay in the US, I will never come, like, “Ah, it's Mexico.” [Chuckles].

      reflections, mexico, best parts about being back

    4. Noe: Detention, it's just disgusting. It's just disgusting. There's hair everywhere. Everything is dirty. It smells. The beds are hard. They give you like, a little mattress like this, and it's just plastic. No, it's undescribable. If you've never been there, it's undescribable. You can't sleep because you always have to be aware. You never know who's going to come through that door or who's going to be sleeping with you on the next bunker. Yeah, it's rough. And you get sick there. I was just sick of it. I was like, give me my deportation. I just want to go.

      leaving the us, detention, reasons, traffic violation, treatment by

    5. Noe: The biggest challenge I would say is to adapt and to accept people the way they are because obviously they're not in the US. It's hard for me to accept, to ignore them, to see if someone has stolen something, is not doing things right. It's hard to me to keep quiet. So, to adapt and to accept these people. That's really hard. Sometimes I just feel like I want to scream at people and yell at them. Just, “Get a job, just do something for your life.” It's like, “Do a job. Everybody's getting a job. Why are you jacking off? Why are you just jacking people on the streets or trying to defraud and make fraud everywhere? Just get a job or something.” That makes me mad, because I have a job. I'm paying taxes.

      return to mexico, challenges, crime and violence, cultural diferences

    6. Noe: Yeah. For real. I feel like it's taking the manners from you. What else? Kindness. The people ask you for money and everything. They're just crazy. There's a guy in good working condition, just like, “Hey, give me some money.” Get out of my face, get the fuck out of my face, because I can't stand those people. In good, working condition, they can have a job. I got this in my mind, if you in that condition, a homeless condition, it’s because you wanted to. You have two hands, two feet, I don't see that you suffer sickness or something like that, that will not allow you to work or to have a job. There's a lot of work around here. There's work everywhere. You just have to want to work first. That makes me mad a lot. Get out of here, get out of my face, because I can't stand them. I can't stand the people. I can’t stand that.

      return to mexico, challenges, cultural differences

    7. Noe: One example from the subway, there's a lot of people that they don't care about the others. I always tell it to my friends when I get to speak about the city that when I came here, I was giving seats to the ladies, to the girls. “Hey, take a seat and everything.” The people get crowded at the door when the subway open the door, they just get crowded. Everybody wants to get in. I was like, for real, just stepping aside, just trying to let them go, and then I get in. Now? Nah. They crowd in, I go too. I have to be like, “I don't give a damn about you.” There are ladies forties, maybe fifties, they're nice, but I'm not giving my chair. Only if I see a really elderly lady, “Okay, just take a seat there.” That makes a big change on you and how you were raised. It's a lot of, the city takes a lot from you: take your manners, take your... If you're kind to people, get ready, because this city is going to change you.

      return to mexico, challenges, return to mexico

    8. Noe: No. To be honest, I don't feel safe. I'm always on guard, like everything. When I see people, as long as I’m by myself, and I see people getting close to me, I'm going to get just on guard. I see something you're trying to do to me, I'm just going to scream and run. [Chuckle]. I don't feel safe. I’m always aware. When I'm on the subway, on the streets, I'm always checking my pockets around, “Oh, I still have my wallet, still have my ... “ It's just a daily thing, I have to check everything. When I get out and get into the bus, I have to check my wallet. I get out, I check my wallet and everything. If you drop anything, somebody take it, you're never going to see that item again.

      return to mexico, challenges, crime and violence, cultural differences

    9. Noe: Yeah, and one other thing that I was not getting along with them is because they were, like with the company, they always eating the product, stealing this and stealing that. I was like, “I'm not like that, guys, for real. We don't have to. We have a cafeteria. There's cake, there's a lot of food in there, and it's free. You guys can eat everything from there. I don't see the reason why you guys have to eat the product or eat the things. Sometimes we short for the customers because you guys eating it. I'm not taking that.” Also, there's quite a few situations that I went through that the customer forgot their cell phones on the table, on the bar, on the sushi bar, what everything. They just look each other, trying to think what to do. You don’t have to deal with it, you have to return to the customer! The customer's still at the door. It’s like, “What are you guys thinking about?”

      return to mexico, challenges, discrimination/stigmitization

    10. Noe: They might be embarrassed or they might feel like I was trying to make them less or something. That was not my intention. I was trying to help. I was not being rude. I was not just like using rude words like, “Hey, you have to say like this, not say like that,” or something like that, trying to yell at people. No. It's the opposite because I was always telling them, “If you need help with any words, any pronunciation, just let me know. I'm here for you guys to help you out.” They didn't take it like that.

      return to mexico, challenges, discrimination/stigmitization, language

    11. Noe: About my coworkers. They really help you out. They know how to talk to you. We connect really well. That's why I feel okay. I feel like in high school over there. We get along each other, we joke each other. There’s no… a lot of people speak English better than me, like, “Go eff yourself.”Noe: My profession was to be a chef, so I was trying to look for chef jobs around here. I've found a few of them, but I was just harassed. I don't know. In my department, on the hotel I was working as a chef, I was the only bilingual, not even the servers. The waiters, servers, hosts, they didn't know how to speak English. Sometimes, I was trying to be nice with them and trying to help them out, translate, because there's a lot of white people coming in there. It's like 80% of the customers, they're white—that's the only people with money. Sometimes I notice that they are having trouble trying to understand the customer, and I was just trying to be nice [Chuckle], and trying to help them out, translate what they want or what their allergies and everything. Instead of thanking me for doing that for them, they was just complaining about me.

      return to mexico, challenges, economic well-being, discrimination/stigmitiation

    12. Noe: I felt like an outsider. Yeah, definitely an outsider. Well, literally, you don't know what to do there. You don't know how they are. Even you if try to adapt to the living in there, it's hard. They'll see you and they'll just reject you, because “Oh, you didn't have an answer,” or you didn't know how to speak correctly or formal with them. They'll just get mad at that. That's one of the reasons I decided to come to the city. I was like, “No, I'm not staying here.”

      return to mexico, challenges, discrimination/stigmitization

    13. Noe: When I got deported. [Chuckles]. When I got deported, I got released on… What's it called? Nuevo Laredo, it's like the Texas border. I got released over there, and then I called my brother because he owes me money. I called him just to tell him I'm here in Nuevo Laredo. Send me some money because I got to come home. [Chuckles]. Well, yeah, that's how they found out I got deported. I'm pretty sure they would’ve helped me; they gave me some money. But after that, no. That's when I got here.

      leaving the us, reasons for return, deportation

    14. Lizzy: Do you have a favorite memory or a least favorite memory of your childhood?Noe: I was born in a city called Tasco. Actually, my parents, they're from a small village around thirty minutes from the city. The village is really small. As I remember, we used to have dirt houses, small dirt houses. What else? We didn't have any… Like the roads, it's like dust and ground, like raw ground roads. What else? I remember that the people, they used to were more kind. it was just love everywhere in my childhood. I used to be shepherd, I used to have a sheep. I used to go to the mountains with my sheeps, trying to feed them and everything. I used to have one small cow. I used to have two horses and everything. After I immigrate to the US with none English, I went there, live with my brother first, and I started went to school, and started looking for a job actually. I was underage, so my parents have to sign off the sheet for me to get a job.

      mexican childhood, Mexican childhood, memories

    1. Reviewer #1 (Public Review):

      Bice et al. present new work using an optogenetics-based stimulation to test how this affects stroke recovery in mice. Namely, can they determine if contralateral stimulation of S1 would enhance or hinder recovery after a stroke? The study provides interesting evidence that this stimulation may be harmful, and not helpful. They found that contralesional optogenetic-based excitation suppressed perilesional S1FP remapping, and this caused abnormal patterns of evoked activity in the unaffected limb. They applied a network analysis framework and found that stimulation prevented the restoration of resting-state functional connectivity within the S1FP network, and resulted in limb-use asymmetry in the mice. I think it's an important finding. My suggestions for improvement revolve around quantitative analysis of the behavior, but the experiments are otherwise convincing and important.

      However, the behavioral readout is not well documented and, to me, is a key readout for the main claims in the paper. For example, in the methods; "The laser power ranged between 0.2mW - 1mW and was set to a level just below that which elicited overt behavioral output (e.g. forepaw or whisker motor movements in sync with stimuli)." for example, how is this measured? By eye? Quantitatively with tracking approaches? Also, the cylinder test I have the same concern - it notes there is only 1 blinded scorer, but how consistent is this person? Why not use a machine vision approach (if the videos are saved, I strongly suggest this is quantified differently). If not, they should add this to the limitations section in discussion.

      Other comments - Data and paper presentation:

      - Figure 1A is misleading; it appears as if optogenetic stimulation is constant (which indeed would be detrimental to the tissue). Also, the atlas map overlaps color-wise with conditions; at a glance it looks like the posterior cortex might be stimulated; consider making greyscale?

    1. With Ex Machina, the directorial debut of 28 Days Later and Sunshine writer Alex Garland, we can finally put the Turing test to rest. You've likely heard of it -- developed by legendary computer scientist Alan Turing (recently featured in The Imitation Game), it's a test meant to prove artificial intelligence in machines. But, given just how easy it is to trick, as well as the existence of more rigorous alternatives for proving consciousness, passing a test developed in the '50s isn't much of a feat to AI researchers today.

      This is not true. Turing never said anything about "consciousness". He actually asked, “Can machines communicate in natural language in a manner indistinguishable from that of a human being?” The Turing test is not a test of artificial intelligence. And it's definitely not a test aimed at "proving" consciousness.

    1. A friend asked me whether Google Translate’s level of skill isn’t merely a function of the program’s database. He figured that if you multiplied the database by a factor of, say, a million or a billion, eventually it would be able to translate anything thrown at it, and essentially perfectly. I don’t think so. Having ever more 'big data' won’t bring you any closer to understanding, since understanding involves having ideas, and lack of ideas is the root of all the problems for machine translation today.

      This is exactly what I just said. You've swapped out "translate" and made it "understand", then argued for why Translate will never "understand". This is terrible writing.

      The fact is, Translate will get to the point where it's translations are essentially perfect for 99% of the use cases thrown at it. And that all depends on having more data. And while it's true that "more data" on it's own may not get us to machines understanding human language, that's simply not what anyone is suggesting Translate actually does.

    2. Not for the first time in its history, artificial intelligence is rising on a tide of hype.

      Not so; it's rising in importance because it's accomplishing real things in the real world. Yes, there's some hype around what it will be able to do, but the fact is that the hype around what it can already do isn't hype, it's just stating the facts.

      It's not often that a writer establishes their bias in the first sentence of a piece.

    1. Anne: It's nice that your company will help out with school.Carolina: Yeah, it is. It's a really good company.Anne: So how many more semesters in high school?Carolina: I need four more. It'd be two more years.Anne: And then?Carolina: And then just college.Anne: University and college. So that's wonderful. So is there anything you want to say about your experiences in the US and coming back to Mexico before we end? Anything you want to share that you haven't said?

      return to mexico, education, college

    1. Cuauhtémoc : Because they feel sometimes outshined or they feel that we have a superiority complex, and we do have a superiority complex. Because this is a number one complaint that I've gotten from people after getting feedback. You guys feel you're the shit. You guys feel you're superior. You guys feel you're all that because you've been in the States. And I did. I actually did. It's not a lie. In my case, when I came back, I'm like, man, my ego was way up there, although I was depressed I used to feel I was the shit because one, where do I come from? I used to have a lot of money. I used to have people under my control. At one point I had 200 people under my power and control. I actually came feeling pretty freaking hard, you know, I felt hard.Cuauhtémoc : I felt powerful because I had people under my power, and you get over here and you know what? People will try to talk down on me. I'm like, “You know where I come from? You know what I've been through? You know who you're talking to?” That's the vibe I gave off. People used to tell me, you know what, when you got here, you used to feel you were this big shit, you used to feel you were running the show when in reality you had nothing. You were nobody. And that's true. I was nobody and I had nothing. I thought about, I'm like, you're right. I'm nothing and I have nobody, where are my houses? Where's the money? Where's everything. Back home and they're my mother's things not mine.Cuauhtémoc : I had a car but I crashed it. That made me think and I'm like, these guys are actually right. We do come back thinking we're all that. Most of us do because I know most of us were in gangs. Most of us had something going on. We had a lot of money, we had cars so when you come over here, and I actually had this problem once where you got people from Polanco and nice parts thinking they're the shit and they're like, wait a minute, you just barely have this tiny thing and you feel you're all that and I had way more than you, so then you start realizing I used to be like that. I used to feel I was this big powerful person. But in reality I was nobody. That helped me have some retro analysis and retrospective retro analysis. I'm like, do you know what, these guys are right.Cuauhtémoc : I came with a super big ego over here thinking, I'm all cool I'm this super cool guy this and that so I just humbled down a lot. It helped me humble down and I'm like, I've got to be more careful about that because that's why people be hating on pochos because we think we're the shit. Maybe not all of us, but I know a good majority. If we were in gangs, we clash a lot with people like, "What the hell are you looking at? What you looking at man?" That's the typical response you get from a pocho because we're also taught in prison to be very aggressive. We come from prison, we don't come from Disneyland, we were in the system.Cuauhtémoc : We were very aggressive. We like to eat people just with the stare. So if you see people dogging you, you're going to dog ‘em back and you're like, "What the hell are you looking at?" It's a defensive mechanism that we have. We're not in prison anymore, but we feel we've got to still be protective of ourselves because we're exposed. We're very much exposed because we speak English. People be kidnapping us because they think that we have a lot of money, so we have that vibe towards those to that we got to protect ourselves. I let that go and I'm very friendly now. I smile at people. I speak English in the streets too, but I do it more like, you know, and if people look at me, I just smile at them and let them know that I'm not here to hurt anybody, that I'm not here to fight anybody.Cuauhtémoc : So my vibe that I throw out is different now. But it took me years to learn to calm down because when I first got here, I was on the defensive 24/7 because I just came out of jail. It's not easy just reincorporating into a society that right off the bat doesn't like you.Claudia: Well those are all the questions that I had. Now I just want to give you the space, if you have anything else that you'd like to say or add or anything else that you want me to know or anybody who's listening to this to know this is really just -Cuauhtémoc : Sure. For those of you that are listening, that have just arrived here from the States, lose that superiority complex and humble the hell down. That's all I got to say. Humble the hell down because this society is going to eat you alive if you don't. And I lived through that, very harshly. Very harshly. I had to fight a lot of people. I had to swallow my pride way too many times, even with cops. "You think you're all that, well, you know what, I'm going to put you in jail for a long time. You better pay us some money or you're going to be in for a pretty hard time." Just humble down. Throw some good vibes out there. People are mean to you, just forgive them. Be as Christ and Buddha and Krishna once did.Cuauhtémoc : People spit in your face, just bless them. It took me several years for me to realize that sometimes fighting fire with fire is just deadly and you end up bad and screwed and society just eats you alive pretty harshly. They tear you apart, they want to see you down. Instead of fighting fire with fire, fight fire with love and just try to be at peace, smile, be peaceful, be positive. Even though maybe on the inside you're rotting and sad and depressed, just try to give your society your best face, even though maybe deep down you're hurting and you're very sad. Just try to be as friendly as possible and as positive as possible. That's it. I got nothing else to say.

      reflections, identity, values

    2. Cuauhtémoc : Nothing. At the end of the day, we're in their country following their laws, and if we decide to break them, it's our fault. We are the ones that caused this upon us. I actually think that it's wrong when you get deported for maybe having a super tiny little ticket. I think it should be perhaps in consideration that I'm not doing nothing wrong. Just give me a chance. Break me off. Okay. Yeah, whatever. For things like drug dealing for what I did, the system's fine. I'm the rotten one, at least I was. I don't have any issues with the system. I have an issue maybe with being harsh with people that did light things.Cuauhtémoc : I think there should be more consideration for the light criminals but for people like me that actually did things because of power, because of greed, yeah man, let it be. Punish me however you want to punish me. I don't care. I deserved it. It's fine. I was intoxicating your people. I was breaking the law. Let's be fair about it. You want to kick me out? Kick me the hell out. I don't mind. I'll live with it. I'll swallow my pride. I'll live with the depression for as long as I need to live with it because at the end of the day I was doing something wrong and it deserves punishment because it's not like you're doing something beneficial. You're intoxicating the masses with drugs. Some of them very hard drugs. Let it be.Claudia: Why do you think that young Mexican men in the US turn to crime and gangs?Cuauhtémoc : I don't know. In my case it was because for very selfish reasons. I cannot speak the same about everybody else. Some people maybe don't have that love at home or that support at home. I would like to think that the reason why young men, and I say young men, not because I'm sexist or I generalize, but it's really hard to see a woman do that because I guess they're more self-centered and more cautious. You see young men do this because maybe, I don't know, it's just, I can't really say.Cuauhtémoc : Lack of love, lack of support, lack of opportunities. Not in the sense that the government doesn't do them, but they close themselves off. It's just hard to say. From the people that I've spoken with, it's been mainly lack of love and lack of resources. Being an illegal, just you don't have a social security, that immediately just makes you inferior in that society. And yes, I said inferior. It makes you inferior. You cannot purchase property, you cannot work appropriately. You cannot do a lot of things. You're inferior in the sense that you can't even get your own house. You need to ask somebody to help you.

      reflections, values ; reflections, the united states

    3. Cuauhtémoc : Those frequencies have really just helped me get my life together. They have really helped me heal. I would say that I'm still broken because I haven't mastered myself fully yet, but at least I'm healed. I'm broken but just with like, maybe like a stitch. It's there. It's a huge open wound still because the pain is still there but it doesn't hurt anymore like it used to. It's just the pain that maybe when you sprain an ankle and eventually you walk it off. Like you step on it, and it's just pulses but it's not to the point where you can't walk, you can walk, you can do stuff and it's just that tiny pulse it just shoots up and you even sometimes even step real hard so it goes away. That's what I do.

      reflections, identity, values

    4. Cuauhtémoc : I think that's an abomination. I think that's just horrible. For you to consider yourself above somebody and just be able to treat them like crap just because you have a position. Let's say if a cop does that and they have done that to me too, where, “Oh well I'm going to do what I want and at the end of the day it's my way or the highway.” Cops have done that to me, but not just here in the States too, Latino profiling. If you're that kind of human being, stay the hell away from me. Go away. I don't want your negative and disgusting vibe to affect me.Cuauhtémoc : I know that I should be loving too but at the end of the day, if I allow myself to be infected with that nastiness, I’m gonna – I don't want to distribute that, I want to absorb it, yes, neutralize it and just, go away be away from me. Blessings and love, but stay away from me, and I don't want to be part of this institution. I don't want to be part of your gigs. I don't want to be part of your shadiness, stay away, and you stay over there in your corner of being hateful and negative, and I'll stay in my corner being positive and assuring and helpful and loving. Maybe at the end of the day, if that's what fills your void by all means just do it over there. Stay away.

      reflections, values

    5. Cuauhtémoc : Give them tools and not money. Show them the way. Allow them the capability of developing skills. If you give people money, you make them worthless because they eventually become dependent on that sometimes. Not everybody, but give people tools and not money. Teach them things that will help them thrive in a society. Teach them things like accounting, expenses, management of expenses, economics, teach them how to have a trade, maybe construction, electrician. Help them with school in the sense that, integrate them back into school.Cuauhtémoc : When I got here, it was very hard to integrate myself back to school. I actually did a test in the UNAM to study English. What was it? Enseñanza del Inglés, which translates to for non-English as Spanish speakers, English teaching. So the girl, I still remember, it was just horrible. When I went and I presented my high school diploma, she just tossed it and she's like, "What the hell is this? This isn't a document. This is worthless here. Didn't they tell you that you needed to get revalidated?” I'm like, "No, that's what you're here for."Cuauhtémoc : I didn't say it like that messed up, but I'm like, “No, isn't that what you're here for? To guide me?” “This is worthless. What is this? I can't even read what this says.” That's why I haven't gone back to school because it was just, man this is such a horrible system, and this is supposed to be a prestigious school, and I know in the States they do the same thing and Stanford and Yale, people get turned down very horribly. It's not just a Mexican thing.Cuauhtémoc : I point that out because I know people out there, they get rejected from very prestigious places too, with very horrible attitude because they raise their necks and say, oh, you're very prestigious yeah, but where's your manners or you’re prestigious but where are your manners? What's more important? Having prestige or treating someone correctly, treating someone with the respect that they deserve. To me, this is trash because you may be super prestigious, but at the end of the day it's worthless because you're a horrible human being. Oh, well. So I just said, “I don't need this. I don't need your institution. I can educate myself and I've been educating myself for the last 10 years. I've been educating myself in the streets. No thank you. I don't need this institution's teachings. If it's going to be like this from the very beginning, I don't need this trash. You may be super good at giving me book knowledge, but I have enough street knowledge to be able to maneuver through life. I don't need this.” So I kind of just put me off and I said, screw school. I don't need school. At the end of the day school conditions you for a lot of things. So I'm like, I don't need this conditioning.Cuauhtémoc : I don't need this conditioning because at the end of the day, school is a type of conditioning. I can think for myself, thank you very much and if I need knowledge, I could just pick up a few books and educate myself in the matter. So I don't need this. And it served me well because with the high school diploma, I'm already going for manager, and I'm sure that I'll get to director level with just the high school diploma. Why? Because I'm very hungry, and I know I can do it. I already programmed myself internally for me to have that director position, so there's no doubt in my mind that I'm going to obtain it. It's going to take time, maybe even 10 years, but I know that in 10 years, I'm going to have that position. I already made myself a two-year plan, a five plan and a 10-year plan, and I'm going to invest every single week and hour of my life to making sure that that's going to happen.

      reflections, mexic, policy for reintegration

    6. Cuauhtémoc : Live off the fat of the land. What they chased I like to have that just live off the fat of the land. Have like Of Mice and Men, just a happy finale. Just get out of here, get out of the toxicity of the city and just live in some remote location. A very, what's the word I'm looking for? A very, what's the term called when the land is rich?Claudia: Fertile.Cuauhtémoc : Fertile, just live in some very fertile place and maybe grow my own stuff and maybe have a few goats and just slaughter them when necessary with the balance and maybe just sell some too just to exchange. Live in a place where, maybe even an autonomous place, because there's a lot of places in Mexico that are autonomous. Just screw the law, screw exploitation. I'll just live with like-minded people like myself and just get out of here and just have my nice, beautiful cabin and maybe grow some fruit, grow some veggies, and have a few animals and just maybe have friends that do the same thing and just get away from here and just not be here part of this toxic environment and just be away.Cuauhtémoc : But that's going to take a lot of money and time and just be out to myself. Maybe a hermetic lifestyle, but not in the sense that the yogis do or the Shaolin not to that level, but I'll still party. I'll still probably have girlfriends and stuff and have that lust aspect still there. Because I know that Shaolin and yogis, zero sex, zero meat, zero everything. I'm not ready for that yet. Just let's go camp out, and be like a permanent camp out just get away from here. Get away from this pollution and believe me, people say, “oh, Mexico city has pollution.” Yes. So does LA. Get out of here with that.Cuauhtémoc : It's not just Mexico. Open your eyes and realize that every big city has these problems. Every big city has rats. Every big city has homeless. Every big city has pollution. Every big city has black water so get out of here when you say it's Mexico. It's not Mexico. It's when you want to judge. Look at your own big city first and then come at me and tell me, “oh, it's Mexico's ugly. Mexico's dirty”. Well, you haven't looked hard enough. You haven't gone to Bosque de Chapultepec. You haven't gone to Cerro de la Estrella. You haven't gone to the nice parts. Look internally before you can criticize. That's my motto of life.

      reflections, dreams ; mexico, worst parts about being back

    7. Cuauhtémoc : Give me a few grams for the Jordans. That was bad, but I admit it, I did it. I know that's bad, just selling it or consuming it, it's just horrible. Very bad vibes to it. Just people just get sucked up. So I rather if I was back in the States, I'd probably just be fabricating some really super high quality LSD and just tripping with the people, being with the people, sometimes even going out into a campfire and saying “Take it, but just let go” and probably even doing some therapy with it too. Like “Hey man you know what, I'm here for you. I know I'm, you're dealing and everything, but just come over, we'll go into a cabin, we can trip out and just be cool and just be at peace and get in touch with nature” and that's sort of thing.

      time in the us, drugs, selling

    8. Cuauhtémoc : Actually I've sold LSD before. Mass scale and you surround yourself with really cool people and it's not like, oh man, I got to get rich quick or die trying kind of thing it's more like, you're making money off of it, but it's just really chill people. I even used to take LSD with my clients and I wouldn't consider them my clients like you would because I've sold meth, I sold crack too. So it's way different. Sometimes the crackheads just, they're very bad to deal with. They'd be bringing just whatever. They can sometimes even their own clothes, I’ll sell… I got some shoes. All right, shoes. I actually did that myself once. Remember when I was partying and I ran out of drugs and I had some nice Jordans and I, you know what? How much you give me for these Jordans?

      reflections, time in the us, drugs, selling

    9. Cuauhtémoc : I grew up around the rap culture. I grew up in a very materialistic society and I think that I'm not the only one that lived in that. I actually like flashy things. I don't know if you remember, but the last time I came I had a huge chain. No. The second time I came I had the huge chain. I had the medallion, I used to rock diamond earrings and, well, I've been around people that were in car clubs. ______ is just a place of a lot of money. Imagine an immigrant boy growing up in ______. There's a lot of money there, and I would see my surroundings and I see all these ballers and all these people in nice SUV's and here I am just barely surviving. It's rough.

      reflections, identity ; return to mexico, challenges, family seperation

    10. Cuauhtémoc : It was just coming to an empty house. I didn't even have curtains, but I was proud so I didn't want to be with my aunts anymore because they were just so oppressive that I just, it's either this or going back to my aunts and just being oppressed big time and being told what to do, what to wear, how to talk, when to talk, when to eat. It's either I live in a tyranny or I'm free, but I have nothing so I chose nothing.

      reflections, return to mexico, family relationsips, those who stayed in mexico

    11. Cuauhtémoc : The fact that the job… it would make me thrive more at work that's the only reason why I would get a visa and to see my mom, that's it. The only two reasons. And my mom is going to get her papers so at the end of the day it doesn't really matter if I get my visa or not. She can come here anytime, and if I get it phenomenal, if I don't get it, I'm not going to cry over it. There's Canada, there's Europe, there's Australia, there's Asia. I closed my doors in one place? Yes. I'm not sad about it. It doesn't hurt me, it's just difficult in the sense that I have to put a lot of money and effort to be eligible to visit the place again, so I really have to consider whether or not it's beneficial for me instead of investing those 100,000 in that, and I could start a small business here and maybe just thrive here. Who knows.

      reflections, dreams

    12. Cuauhtémoc : That's a difficult question. If it was in my hands to return freely without any problems, I'd come and go as I would please. But rules and laws prohibit me from doing so. In order for me to be eligible for me to go back to the States, even with the visa, I have to submit a pardon request and I have to wait for my 10-year penalty, which I will gladly do and eventually I will follow up, because for the senior manager position that I aspire for I need to be visa eligible, so it's going to take time and money. A lot of money. I'm looking at about maybe a hundred thousand pesos more or less for the lawyer and the fees and all that. But it's definitely something... I'm going to do it, not because I want to go back to the States and live there, but because I want to have more opportunities in Mexico and having a visa just opens a lot more doors.

      reflections, the united states, us government and immigration

    13. Cuauhtémoc : Seldomly due to the fact that I have a very huge focus on my career, and they have their stuff going on. It's not that… they treat me well when I go there, but they're not aligned with my goals and my way of life so I tend to just align myself with people that are also aligned. Even with friends. I know a lot of people in the city, so I tend to not talk to them as much anymore because I'm so focused on my job and my goals. Where I live currently there's a bunch of English speakers, big time. Two of them actually work with me. For instance, people in my radius, within a five-kilometer radius, there's a bunch of English speakers in my neighborhood. But I talk to them just like maybe we'll grab a beer, we'll have some pizza and that's it.

      return to mexico, family relationships, those who stayed in Mexico

    14. Cuauhtémoc : I don't have the school to back it up but I have a lot of experience and the thing with me is that I have a lot of people skills, so I know that it's going to put me way up there in the candidate list. I almost have it assured, but there's always competition. I'm not the only one that does his job. I'm not the only one that has a good background, so if it doesn't come the first time it will come the second time or the third time. At least I'll be ready for the questions because let's say if I do not make it the first time, I'll be well prepared for the questions so the second or third time I'll just dominate the interview.

      reflections, mexico, what mexico has gained

    15. Cuauhtémoc : It's a card where you can go and use it on particular venues but I just exchange it for money. Let's say out of the 18 that I'm making, that's before taxes I'm making probably 22, and then maybe out of those 22 from the 18 you take away taxes so I'm making maybe anywhere between 15 to 18 after taxes which isn't bad but isn't good. Well, in my eyes I can be making a lot more, but I'm very satisfied with what I’m making now, but, probably in the next two, three years I'm going to obtain that manager position. I know that for a fact because I've been doing management duties for about six months already. I know for a fact that when the manager position comes around, I'm going to be very highly prepared for it.

      return to mexico, jobs, earnings

    16. Cuauhtémoc : I'm making 18,000 a month plus about 4,000.Claudia: Pesos?Cuauhtémoc : It's 18,000 pesos plus an additional 4,000 in, what do you call the restaurant?Claudia: Commission? Tips?Cuauhtémoc : No, it's not a commission. It's about three 3000 for, what is that? It's a restaurant thing where you have a special card and you can slide it and it's particularly just for restaurant use. Like a resto pass. That's what they call it. It's like a Sedexo card. In Spanish they call it vales de despensa. I don't know how to translate that. It's a pantry bonus I guess.

      return to mexico, jobs, occupation, earnings

    17. Cuauhtémoc : I'm always raising my hand. Who wants to do this? Me, but there's no overtime. I don't care. I want to do it. That's the way I am. I do that many hours because I choose to do it. They do pay me overtime here and there when it's something that's just, you know what, “we need you to go on your day off and train these guys”, yeah by all means. Give me. Let me have it. I want to do it.

      reflections, values

    18. Cuauhtémoc : No, they've maintained a stable level. My aunts do ask me to visit them from time to time, but it's usually pretty hard since we have the client visit tomorrow and later today, around four or five, depending on how long this takes. I'm going to go ahead and actually go to the eighth floor and just set up a bunch of equipment for them to have ready since we want the visits to have their docking stations or monitors, some keyboards. The manager and I are going to show up and do a lot of stuff. Last week, I know that Anita had proposed for us to meet, but two of our elements had left the company so I had to take over their shift and I was connected for 20 hours straight. I wasn't going to show up here half dead.

      return to mexico, family relationships, those who stayed in mexico

    19. Cuauhtémoc : Although I don't really see much of my family and friends anymore due to the high responsibility that I carry. It's been mainly just work, work, work and just work.

      return to mexico, family relationships, those who stayed in mexico

    20. Cuauhtémoc: I'm doing two campaigns right now. I think the graveyard people do multiple campaigns, but it's just calls, they take calls. I don't take calls, I do more delicate stuff. I delegate accesses, I assign certain programs and stuff. So my competitiveness has been ... I've always been very hungry in that sense. Since my first job here, I was doing overtime in training because I had that spark. I'm a fast learner and, no, it's not a brag, it's just me being sincere. I'm very fast. I've been gifted with that fast learning capability. So I adapt quickly to my environment. [Snaps]. So how has the US shaped me? Dominant. I seek dominance. Not in a way that it steps on people, but I share my skills in an attempt for you to come back also.

      return to mexico, jobs, call centers, oppurtunity

    21. Cuauhtémoc: Of course, I'm extremely competitive in every way. In my work environment, I'm highly respected because last month I did the work of three people. We are measured by the amount of work you do. I'm a security administrator and access management for Royal Caribbean and Adecco. I basically create user accounts, manage their computer accesses, and the programs they get to see. So on a monthly basis, I'm almost always first place and usually it's by a long shot. So last month I did about a thousand tasks myself, and it's a team of four. I did a thousand by myself and the rest of the team did a thousand, so it was like 2000 total. But a thousand just came from me, myself. And I'm in two campaigns, not just one, due to the fact that I'm like the SAS or like the SEAL Team Ten. When the campaign is broken, they send the best, and I'm one of that elite, I guess the elite team.

      reflections, identity, dreams, values

    22. Cuauhtémoc: If it's like a relationship, it could be like a, “All right, let's just go out and chill” and eventually you can build on that and that's fine. That's fine too it could be like, “Let's chill and let's hang out,” but if it's going to be for a family that's totally different. “All right hold on, what are you looking for? Que es lo que quieres? [What do you want?] What are you looking for in me? What do you want to build? Do you want to build it together? Okay, wait a minute so let's .... We got to connect.” It's not just, “Okay, let's just do this and see how it”—no, hold on. There's a life that you're bringing to this world that's going to be affected by your decisions. Every single decision, even the meat consumption and all that stuff, the fetus is aware. It's very aware, actually you have to be very careful. Screams and stuff they can hear it. He or she can hear it, I'm sorry, they. What the heck? Well if it twins yeah, they. But if there's constant fighting while the fetus is developing, that's horrible, that's bad.

      reflections, values

    23. Cuauhtémoc: Me personally, I don't feel like I'm ready to be a father. That's why the kids are out of the question. But for personal reasons, I would love to if I, first of all, be in love with my significant other, like have sincere love for that person. Not just, “Hey, let's do this and for the sexual pleasure.” I think there has to be much more, a deeper connection and it's very hard to make the connection that deep with someone. You have to genuinely and truly love them and that's what I seek. If I want to start a family, of course.

      reflections, dreams

    24. Cuauhtémoc: Basically, I went to do the test. I did not study for the test. People—I've heard these crazy stories of so many people failing and like it's so hard, no it's not. Maybe because I had three years of university to back me up, three and a half. I just felt like that test was a super piece of cake. I mean the chemistry, the sciences, physics and chemistry, I got 100%. Math was like 90%. I failed only literature for obvious reasons, but universal history got a pretty high score. I got much high scores in everything except in Spanish, like literature and with composition, like Spanish composition. If it would have been English composition, I would have dominated that easy. [Laughs]. But yeah, basically—oh and Mexican history was—I just bombed that test horribly. I got like two out of ten right. [Sharp exhale]. Dismal. And the only stuff that I got right was like the pre-Hispanic history like, “When did Cortés show up?”

      return to mexico, challenges, continuing education, records/transcripts/diploma

    25. Cuauhtémoc: That was ultra-easy so [Sharp exhale] 1521, obvio. [obviously] I think he got to Puerto Rico first and Veracruz, he did a lot of atrocities in Puerto Rico also. Mr. Hernán Cortés. Anyway, so I happily bring my results to reception and the lady kind of saw my smile and like, eh, desde allí, como [from then, like] “you cocky B-A-S-T-A-R-D” because para empezar, [for starters] I spoke to her in English. Why? I don't know. That was kind of my fault, people don't like being spoken to in English. I guess people get offended. I don't know. No les gusta que… “Oye, [they don’t like it because] hey, I'm done.” “¿Qué?” “Oh, I'm sorry.” That's when that care is like piercing, “ah wait, sorry. I'm sorry. Ya acabé mi examen.”[I finished my exam] “Okay.” And I showed her my high school diploma, “Esto que no sirve.” [that is of no use] That just broke my heart. That's like, “aquí esto no sirve.” [that is of no use] I'm like, “What do you mean, como que no sirve? [how come it’s of no use] That's a lot of years of dedication. That's my life. What do you mean que no sirve?” “Aquí no sirve,” [it’s of no use] but in such a hateful, super, super hateful way that my heart just popped.

      return to mexico, challenges, continuing education, records/transcripts/diploma

    26. Cuauhtémoc: I mean my name Cuauhtémoc, it's Nahuatl, it means, “aguila que desciende.” [descending eagle] So, I took that really into heart and said, “I have the name of an Aztec emperor. I am an Aztec emperor.” I consider myself an emperor. I consider all of us to be Gods because we have the power to create and destroy. So, I said just like how I destroyed over there, I can create here. Puedo crear un patrimonio aquí en mi lugar de origen. [I can create a patrimony in my place of origin] In this beautiful place, and for that reason I declined, I don't want to go back. Maybe it was because pride also had to do a lot with my decision. But now that I look back, I'm very proud in the sense that I'm one of a few family members that actually has made it out alone.

      reflections, identity, mexican,

    27. Cuauhtémoc: Anyway, so we have the judge was very just like when … Para empezar, [for starters] they had us chained up, like very, very. Let me demonstrate, there's a chain here, a chain here, a chain here. We just literally had to walk like that. You were like in shackles. The most heartbreaking thing was seeing my family destroyed when I came in like that. Like it’s bringing in El Chapo, not even El Chapo had that much. So, they brought me in like if I was like a high, like super...Yeah, it was bad. It was real bad because I just saw ... I couldn't even look their way, like, don't look over there. The guy was just like, “Go in there, don't be turning around, don't be so.” I remember the expression he just went… And I just sat there like with my head down, I couldn't look back. But I could hear sus lamentos, llorando. [their cries, crying] They were very sickly destroyed. You could hear. You didn't have to look to notice how destroyed they were. I'm sorry. Bad decisions, they cost dearly sometimes. It's okay.

      leaving the us, court proceedings, judge, trial

    28. Cuauhtémoc: So, you have to do it in such a way that when you're replanting palm trees you have to be very careful not to expose the roots. If the air hits it for enough time, it's just going to die and it's sad seeing such a beautiful thing just rot. That's literally what happens: it rots. Sure, that rotting piece of a plant you can leave it there and eventually it'll come back to the ground. But I've had cases where when we had to replant palm tree and I just was hacking away and, "Oh no, you ruined it." Because I cut parts of the roots I wasn't supposed to, so it actually did hurt me. It's like, “Damn.”

      time in the us, careers, working

    29. Cuauhtémoc: Gardening by far because you work with mother earth. I called her mother because it's a very feminine energy. I mean, birth pretty much explains it. You look at fruit, fruit is feminine because it ... think about it, the seeds, it's very feminine. There's a lot of masculinity too, but I think that feminine energy is what allows us to ... I mean both are important and there's the yin and yang, but the fact that you get to work with it firsthand is beautiful. The fact that you work to keep something alive and to nurture it, I think that's a key element in understanding the way this works, this whole ecosystem works. The fact that you have to put a lot of love into the planting, you can't just toss it. No, hold on, treat us with care because some—las palmas—you can't just pop it out, the roots die immediately.

      time in the us , careers, working

    30. Cuauhtémoc: At the end of the day, I don't consider myself Mexican. I consider myself just a citizen of the world. Just a person, a human being with an elevated consciousness. The ego is something that really hurts you sometimes, it's good to be proud, but at the end of the day, we're just flesh and bone. We're in this temporary vessel we call body, the conscience is much higher. It radiates and goes beyond this three dimensional reality. But I'm human, I'm Mexican. Hey, I'm blessed is all got to say.

      reflections, identity, mexican

    31. Cuauhtémoc: I just had the most amazing time ever. I met Cubans, Puerto Ricans, Salvadorans. I mean oh my God, I remember going to this Guatemalan friend's house—pupusas there [Sharpe Exhale] I just was eating and eating and his mom was just totally amazing. Well, actually I would have to say that high school was also super, super awesome due to the fact that just so much open-minded people. I mean you grow up with this, me personally, you grow up with this pride like, “Yo soy Mexicano,” and this and that, but you kind of humble down once you see your other Latino and the struggles that everybody goes through me. When you grow up as a Mexican-American—I guess I'm not Mexican-American I'm Mexican—but you grow up seeing how your Honduran brothers come from much farther away. You still have to cross Guatemala and Mexico and you hear them what they go through and like, "Holy crap." I had two friends that told me, "Hey man I came on a boat." It's harsh. It's horrible. And the fact that the situation back home is very, very hard.

      time in the us, friends, diversity

    32. Cuauhtémoc: I know that when the hurricane hit Puerto Rico there's like a lot of people were left with nothing and I can relate. And that made me feel much better because when there's necessity in one part of the world, you kind of want to help. And the same thing with Haiti when the earthquake happened and now our earthquake. And it's like, wow, it makes you real close with people. So I'd have to say that overall, just high school and college were just amazing. Now the worst part well I mean pretty much when I got caught I guess.

      time in the us, school, college ; reflections identity, global/human

    33. Cuauhtémoc: I just had the most amazing time ever. I met Cubans, Puerto Ricans, Salvadorans. I mean oh my God, I remember going to this Guatemalan friend's house—pupusas there [Sharpe Exhale] I just was eating and eating and his mom was just totally amazing. Well, actually I would have to say that high school was also super, super awesome due to the fact that just so much open-minded people. I mean you grow up with this, me personally, you grow up with this pride like, “Yo soy Mexicano,” and this and that, but you kind of humble down once you see your other Latino and the struggles that everybody goes through me. When you grow up as a Mexican-American—I guess I'm not Mexican-American I'm Mexican—but you grow up seeing how your Honduran brothers come from much farther away. You still have to cross Guatemala and Mexico and you hear them what they go through and like, "Holy crap." I had two friends that told me, "Hey man I came on a boat." It's harsh. It's horrible. And the fact that the situation back home is very, very hard.

      reflections, the united states, favorite parts of us, identity, bi-cultural

    34. Claudia: And now if you'd have to pick what would you say was your best experience in the United States and what was the worst one?Cuauhtémoc: School, college in particular.Claudia: The best or the worst?Cuauhtémoc: The best by far. I've had so much amazing experiences in my community college. It was just, like I said, you grow up being told that a certain race is such a way. I had so much black friends, white friends, Asian friends, and they were all super, super awesome. I don't know if it's just me, I don't know if I just got lucky, but I had so much fun.

      reflections, the united states, favorite parts of Us

    35. Claudia: And what was school like in the United States?Cuauhtémoc: When I first got there, I had to make friends the hard way. Actually my first weeks I got into fights because of the lack of speaking the language got me bullied pretty hard. It's kind of sad and funny at the same time that in the street that I went to live, it was nothing but Mexican people. But the fact that I didn't speak the language put me like as a subordinate. I've been considered an inferior because of like, "Yo, this dude doesn't even speak English." So that kind of made me a target, but I learned pretty quickly. I had to survive, I had to learn to survive the hard way. I had to become proficient at fighting to avoid getting beat up and that also fueled me in the sense that I pushed myself pretty hard in school just so I can catch up to the other kids.Claudia: Did you have any friends? Any teachers that you particularly remember that was influential?Cuauhtémoc: Yeah, there was a family, and I made friends with the dude my age. I actually got in a fight with him first. Why? I can't really remember why we fought, but after that fight—kind of like the fact that I stood toe to toe with him—he's like, "Okay, I respect you now." We got into a fight and his brother was like, "All right, this guy is a muchacho." Funny that after the fight ended, I actually went back home to cry. Yeah. I cried a lot because I'm like, “Dude I hate it here. I want to go back.” But the next day that same kid came and was looking for me, like, "Hey, let's play." I'm like, "Dude, we just fought." And like, "Yeah, so what? Let's play." I'm like, "Okay." So I felt accepted so yeah, I got introduced to his bigger brothers. He had a smaller brother and we just started playing and that kind of helped a lot break the ice, I guess, in a very violent way.

      challenges, school, elementary, making friends, getting in trouble

    1. Jesus: Well, I want to visit here in Mexico first because I heard there's a lot of nice beaches and a lot of super nice places to go to. The forest and pyramids and stuff. I've been to a few, but I want to go to a lot more. Then after that, I want to go to Canada, so I could study. I want to be a pilot.Lizzy: Cool. So, you want to go to school for that in Canada?Jesus: Yeah, because out here, it's super expensive. It's like two million pesos.Lizzy: Oh, wow.Jesus: Yeah. I don't think I can make it. [Chuckles].Lizzy: Is that something you're planning on doing soon, or when do you think you'll try to do that?Jesus: Well, it has to be soon, because I'm getting older. [Both laugh].Lizzy: Is there an age limit on being a pilot?Jesus: Probably, but I want to be more like a personal pilot, so I could have my own plane and fly wherever I want.Lizzy: Yeah, not so much flying the big commercial airline?Jesus: That would be nice, too. Boeing and stuff. That'd be super dope. But it would be more for private, a private thing. I could just have my plane and fly wherever. After that, I'm going to go to Greece.

      reflections, dreams

    2. Lizzy: In what ways is the lifestyle different here from the US?Jesus: Well, what I miss the most is the food. It's super multicultural over there, you can get all kinds of food from every single place in the world practically. You get Asian, you get Arab, anything you want, you can get it, and everything tastes good. Right here, it's all the same food. And it’s like, “Ugh.”Lizzy: What food do you miss the most?Jesus: What I would cook. [Laughs]. Yeah, because you would have all the ingredients at the palm of your hands. Here, you can't even get pepper. They only get crushed or in little balls.Lizzy: So, it's harder to find the stuff you need for cooking?Jesus: Yeah. It's just all the same stuff. Chicken. They don't even have different kinds of cuts of meats, stuff like that. Everything's super expensive.

      return to mexico, challenges, cultural differences; reflections, time in the US, favorite parts of US, food

    3. Lizzy: Do you remember, what did you think about the U.S.? Do you have a memory of your first time seeing it or that first day?Jesus: I remember when we barely came through the border, we stopped at a gas station, and the guy bought me a drink and a Snickers. It was like a SoBe, and I remember that drink really a lot because after that I would always drink it. It's one of my favorites. [Chuckles].Lizzy: So, it's been your favorite since day one?Jesus: Yeah. I remember that, and then I remember going on the highway, and just seeing everything and everything looked super nice and stuff. [Chuckles].

      time in the US, arriving in the US, first impressions; states, california

    1. Miguel: Yeah, it is difficult though. It really is. You're in that mind. Like I'm 31 and I don't feel old, and I don't feel young. I feel like I'm at a point where I need to hurry up and do something though. And it's really hard to hurry up and do something out here when there's very little for us to do. And you don't have very many opportunities. I would love to have my own house out here and pay a mortgage and have a car payment and have my son come home and be like, "Dad, I love our car” or “dad, our house looks nice” or “dad you got a good job," or things like that. And it's impossible to really see that, to really visualize what I had over there. Even where I live, people are like, "Oh, you live in a nice area." I'm like, "I do live in a nice area, but my house is not nice." It's like it might look nice and everything but where I live is not really, and they're like “oh” you know. But it is hard. It really is. It's really difficult, it's frustrating, it's very stressful.Miguel: I want to do more than just work. And I would like to, not own a big business but own a little store or something. But it's hard. And especially now, I think about it like I'm 31 will be 32 by the time I'm 40, I try to focus more in the future and it's hard because then you're like, "Okay, but I got the path following me, I got to catch up and I got to focus now and so," but I try. I really do try and that helps me a lot talking to people and especially people that come from the States, like we have a lot in common, just like the language itself helps us a lot.

      Return to Mexico, challenges, mental health, opportunity; Feelings, frustration, hopelessness; Lost opportunities;

    2. It was like I can maybe grow to be something or somebody out here. All those dreams, all those ideas, all those great thoughts, all those great ideas and great plans that you had get taken away from you like literally, like in days. You don't have those hopes anymore. You're out here, you lose all hope. I did. I mean I’m alone out here pretty much.Miguel: I mean I have my dad's sister and my dad's brother, but they're not very, I can’t count on them for things. I've struggled a lot. And right now I'm without a phone, because I had to pawn my cell phone because I had to pay my rent. I work and I get paid, it's just that it's really hard. I used to live in a different state here. And I was paying 60 pesos every day just for bus fare, getting to work and back and forth. And that was if I was lucky to get a bus that would take me halfway to my house. But then again, you have to pay like 30 pesos more for it. That's what was getting to me. And right now I'm struggling a little bit with my rent. I just started working here in April. In Tele Tech, and it's, I'm barely getting there. And like I said, my family, I'd rather be struggling on my own than with them because they live in an area where there's a lot of drug sale, a lot of bad things. On my dad's side, and my cousins they've stolen from me.Miguel: Yeah. And I don't even feel safe with my own family. So that's why I tend to stay on my own. Like be on my own, if I eat, good, If I don't, that's okay as well. At least I know it's because of me and not because someone else caused it. But I'm trying my best right now to get back on my feet because I lost a lot of things last year, in November. I got stabbed. They took all my stuff. I had a laptop. I lost that. That's pretty much what I had to go through to be able to be on my own to be free again, you know just be like, "Alright, you guys can rob me and do what you can, you know, but at least I'll be okay." And, yeah, that happened last year. And since then I still haven't really been able to recover.

      Return to Mexico, challenges, economic well-being, employment, cultural differences, family, crime and violence, mental health; Feelings, fear, hopelessness, isolation;

    3. iguel: The reason why I wasn't able to stay was because we went out to one of my friends' birthday party. And it wasn't a big birthday party. It was just like a dinner with his family at his house, zero alcohol. And after that, we went outside and we did start drinking after a while. It got a little bit late. And then we ended up having to leave, and during that time my brother was with me and my brother, we went to 7-Eleven. And he ran into some guys. And these guys start talking, asking my brother some questions. And I wasn't sure what. So I got out the car and I was like, "What's going on?" And the other guy is like, "Where are you from? The gang banging thing.” And I looked at him like, "Bro, what you want?"Miguel: I wasn't involved in gangs like that. But I wasn't scared of them. And I was more of like a type of person that would like to have money. So I was like, "You don't you don't scare me with this," so one of them hits my brother. And he hits my brother, I hit the other guy. And there was three of them and two girls. So I started getting in a fight with one and the third one comes out and hits me and knocks me down. That's when my friend and my girlfriend, and at that time she was pregnant, she gets out. The girl, the other girl gets out, my friend gets out and he starts fighting with one of them. So I get up and I go to the car and I used to play pool. So I had my pool stick with me. So I open up the case and I pull up the stick. And when I see the guy going towards my brother again, I hit him with the pool stick. So when I hit him, I knock him down.Miguel: That's when pretty much everything started happening because obviously blood started coming out of his head and people started getting freaked out. So everybody starts yelling. I didn't leave because I was like, "Alright, well we're going to see what happens. Obviously, there's cameras and they're going to see how everything happened, unfortunately, in the cameras the only thing that you can see is me hitting the guy. So in Oregon, they have this law called Measure 11, where it's a mandatory 16 months for any assault charge. And I was getting three assault charges for each individual. And I had no self-defense rights or anything like that. We explained… I had witnesses, letting them know what happened and they had witnesses saying the other part. But the witnesses that were with them, were pretty much saying that they confronted us when we got to the parking lot in the car, they confronted us getting out of the car. And that's exactly what happened.Miguel: I think the judge noticed as well, that after so many court hearings, these people didn't appear. They no longer went, but to one court hearing. And if you see these people and you see me, you're going to be like alright, "What are they so scared of?" These guys were covered in tattoos. They were way older than me at that time. I mean I think one of them was 35 and I was like 19. The judge is looking at him, he looked at me, and I think that's what also made him change his mind because I was going for at like least six years for an assault charge.Miguel: And when he took all this into consideration, he saw them, and he really pretty much said, "Okay, well it doesn't seem like they're just people out there not causing trouble, right?. They're looking for it." So I think that's why he decided a year and a day. But then again, it was also to send me to a state Prison, which that stays on your record, which did affect me in my immigration status. If it would have been a misdemeanor, I still could have been able to bail out in immigration, but with the felony, I didn't have an opportunity, not even for voluntary departure, nothing like that. That kinda made me more, it did stress me out a lot.

      Arrests, violent crimes, felony, assault; Judge, court proceedings, deportation; Reason for return, deportation;

    4. Miguel: A lot of construction jobs, I was 14, and it was an under the table job remodeling houses. And the guy I worked for, he was like, "You're really young." That was during the summer. So I was like, "It's just a summer job." He was like, "Alright, I might hire you." And he was paying me $10 an hour. And he was buying me food. And he was like taking me places, he was really nice, really nice people. And they were actually very very concerned about my legal status as well in the States. They were those type of people that if they could help me they would. And unfortunately, I lost contact with them because they left to Virginia. And I was in Oregon. And I know if I would have been able to contact one of them, they would have been able to help me with maybe a bond or something to pay the bail. But, they were really good people and I wasn't doing much because of the fact that I spoke English and Spanish.

      Time in the US, jobs, construction;

    5. Miguel: Never really… I like fast cars but never really into illegal street racing or anything like that. But out there in Portland, they had a racetrack so I was able to go out there and see people race their cars and things like that. I like technology. It seems like I want to study, I want a career. I want to work in something that involves technology because Mexico doesn't really have much technology and they don't really make much of anything. And it would be somethin’ great, to be able to be in a country and do somethin’ with their water system as well. I hear a lot of people are left without water, it's very frustrating when you want to get up, take a shower and there's no water, there's no electricity or there's no gas. And that's the kinda things I don't like going through out here. And out there, I was living in a one-bedroom apartment with hot water with, you know, electricity. You pay your light bill, you're going to have electricity, you pay everything.Miguel: But out here, it's just like everybody is. I don't know, they don't pay their electricity bills out here. So they just like hang off of other people's light. And sometimes they find out, the next thing you know, you're without electricity. Like, right now, we suffer from that. Our lights get cut off a lot. Our water goes away a lot, too. And it's very frustrating, because it's something that I'm not used to. I'm not saying that I had the best life. But I lived comfortable. I wasn't rich, and I wasn't wealthy, either. I was just being responsible and working and getting my moneys, getting what I was working for. And that was a thing. And out here's like, I think the more you work out here as well, the less you make.

      Best parts about the US, worst parts about Mexico,; return to Mexico, challenges, economic well-being, employment, opportunity, continuing education;

    1. When we hear a prediction about the future that contradicts our experience-based notion of how things work, our instinct is that the prediction must be naive. If I tell you, later in this post, that you may live to be 150, or 250, or not die at all, your instinct will be, “That’s stupid—if there’s one thing I know from history, it’s that everybody dies.” And yes, no one in the past has not died. But no one flew airplanes before airplanes were invented either

      This is similar to issues that can be encountered with sequential memory in machine learning algorithms - the difference is we can implement solutions to these issues much easier than we can rewire our brains, in my opinion. Just another display of the uses of machine learning.

    2. 1) When it comes to history, we think in straight lines. When we imagine the progress of the next 30 years, we look back to the progress of the previous 30 as an indicator of how much will likely happen. When we think about the extent to which the world will change in the 21st century, we just take the 20th century progress and add it to the year 2000. This was the same mistake our 1750 guy made when he got someone from 1500 and expected to blow his mind as much as his own was blown going the same distance ahead. It’s most intuitive for us to think linearly, when we should be thinking exponentially. If someone is being more clever about it, they might predict the advances of the next 30 years not by looking at the previous 30 years, but by taking the current rate of progress and judging based on that. They’d be more accurate, but still way off. In order to think about the future correctly, you need to imagine things moving at a much faster rate than they’re moving now.

      This graph shows that if we predict based on our current rate of improvement ( continuing to plot our growth in a straight line with the gradient as the current rate of growth ) we arrive at an inaccurate prediction.

    1. Billy: I miss speaking English with people. Because when I'm speaking Spanish a lot of times, I'm trying to express a certain idea, but I don't know how to use certain words. So let's say that I'm telling this guy, "Oh dude, that was a great experience." I don't know how to say 'experience' in Spanish. It's like, “Oh esa fue una experiencia muy buena” It's just things like that. And so yeah, just being able to speak very quickly in English and express myself better. That's what I miss. Here I have to tell them in Spanish “oh está aquí por la carretera y me fue algo muy excelente” and I have to think when I'm speaking. And so, there's pauses and stuff. That never happened to me before.

      Return to Mexico, challenges, Spanish;

    2. Anita: So, I'm going to ask you both these questions. In what way do you feel American?Billy: The fact that I understand the culture. The fact that I grew up in African American neighborhoods and lived the whole American experience. Not just that but I had friends from all over. Friends from Cuba, living in Miami. From Columbia. Then I had Asian friends, white friends, black friends. I got into the skateboarding culture which really introduced me to a big part of American life. Going out and filming with your friends. Learning jazz music showed me the history of the U.S. and why African American history is so important—it really, in a way, shaped what the U.S. is.Billy: And so, in those ways I consider myself American. Just those experiences. But blood-wise, I'm Mexicano [Anita laughs]. Culturally and in terms of my roots I'm Mexican. I've been exposed to the tacos al pastor. I would give my friends Agua de Jamaica in the U.S. and they were like, "Man, what is this, bro? Man, what is this juice?" I'm like, "Bro, this is not juice it's a plant." It's like, "Man, this is good, bro. I got to buy this." And stuff like that. I've been exposed to the Mexican culture, yeah. And, of course, living in LA, Mexican culture's everywhere there. Think of it.

      identity, American, Identity, Mexican;; Spanish, culture, pride;

    3. Billy: Yeah. There's another reason as to why I came. I'm just going to go ahead and tell it. This is very personal, but I don't care. So, my dad, he started getting involved with another woman. This white girl. She had a farm. She was more like a country girl. She was all about the country life. So, my dad got involved with her and we ended up moving to a farm with her and I was on the farm with them. It was awesome, to be honest, I had my own little go-cart and I was working with horses. Had my own room.Billy: But then I would see them kissing and I would see them hugging and that was just too much for me bro. It was too much knowing that my mom was here in Mexico, busting her ass, and my dad is doing that. I'm like, "Bro, you're tripping, dude, doing this in front of me, man." I just felt disrespected. I'm like, "You know I love you, dad, but you're not very considerate."Billy: So, I just got the money, I'm like, "I'm just going to leave. It's better that I don't see this because I'm going to end up getting stressed out and pissed off.” So, I'm like, "I'm just going to go to Mexico. I'm going to be happy with my family, eating good food and save myself some stress."

      Reason for return, return to Mexico, family, relationships, parents;

    4. Billy: Dude, a guy that's been in the U.S. his whole life just goes back to Mexico like that. It actually made me cry when I saw his first photo that he posted on Facebook. Him in Mexico. You could see that he's already been burnt by the sun and he's wearing these Mexican clothes. I'm like, "Damn, my brother's in Mexico." That was tough for me, honestly.Anita: Did he use to wear that stuff in the U.S. too?Billy: No, I'm saying seeing him with these cheaper clothes. You've seen him with these, because here in Mexico they wear... It's not like over there. Over there it's easier to get quality. Over here it's a luxury. You know what I mean? So, I'm like, "Damn, this dude is already... he looks Mexican, dude." It was crazy for me. And so, I'm like, "Man, I can't leave my brother there. I'm going to go back." So, I saved them 200 bucks and I just took a plane here.

      reason for return, following a loved one, family reunification; Deportation;

    5. Billy: I am a Mexican right? And so, it's like, "Dude, you're American but you're not? This was crazy!” and so right there I was like, "Dude, what am I?" At one point I was like, "Dude, what am I? Am I...?" Not in terms of who I am, in personality, but my nationality. I was like, "Am I American or am I Mexican?" Eventually I just said I was Mexican. That's my nationality, that's where I was born but I had an experience in the U.S. you hear me?Billy: Yeah, it's just like, because people are like, "Bro, are you white?" I don't like saying I'm white because I'm not white. It's like, "I'm not white, Bro, I'm Mexican." They're like, "How are you Mexican, man? How do you speak English like that?" It's like, "Yeah, man. I'm Mexican. It's cool, bro, it's cool."Anita: So, you said you were Mexican. Why did you say you were Mexican?Billy: Just because I couldn't say I was white. What am I going to say? I'm white? No, I'm Mexican. But at first, I thought I was white. I was like, "Dude, you're just a skater kid. You're American." Then after I started... My dad told me, "Dude, if you get arrested, that's going to be an issue." That's when I realized, "Bro, you're Mexican, dude, and this is part of you. This is part of your roots. Just be proud of it. Grab it and be proud of it."Billy: So now I'm proud to be Mexican and it's awesome because when a white guy thinks I'm white and I start speaking Spanish he's like, "Whoa man, I didn't know Mexicans could do all that." And it's like, "Yeah, bro. Yeah, man. I'm here to show that. I'm an example." So now I'm even more proud of being Mexican.

      Identity, Mexican;

    6. Anita: No, no, no. This is super cool. So, you said you fell into a depression at a certain point. Tell me a little bit about that and then we'll move back.Billy: Yeah, so basically, I struggle with OCD, right? I'm sure you know what that is. It's a double-edged sword, it's helped me out of a lot of things to be more consistent. For example, if I'm doing a skateboarding trick, if I land like this, I have to keep doing it over—Anita: Are you a skateboarder too?Billy: Yeah, I have a lot of videos on YouTube. Dude, I was sponsored by a skateboarding company called VIP.Anita: Really?Billy: Bro, I think about my life sometimes it's like dude I almost forget that I had a skateboarding career. That's crazy to me. But yeah, if I would not land correctly, I would have to do it over until I landed in the middle of the board. And so, I would do that 10 times and then I would feel good. So that helped me to be more consistent but, at the same time, it does cause anxiety and stuff like that. It's a double-edged sword.Billy: Anyways, I was struggling with OCD, I was like, "Man, you're just a freaking kid with OCD, dude. You're not going to do anything in life." And I started playing these Robert Johnson songs and my dad sees it. He's like, "You know what, man? I'm going to try and motivate this guy so he can get more into it." So, he would talk to me, he offered me money. And so, I started getting into these songs and I started feeling more spirit. More enthusiasm. I'm like, "Wow, dude, you don't just have to be this weird kid, you can be a jazz musician. You could be something if you want to."Billy: And so, I just started playing and playing it and then that dude just took my depression away, honestly. And now I have OCD, but I don't even care. I know how to cope with it, and I know how to work around it. So, it really gave me an identity, which was really important. I think I was going through an identity crisis.

      Mental health, struggling, lack of mental health resources, OCD;

    7. Billy: I was 21 when I started playing music. Prior to that I didn't know how to play one note on the guitar.Anita: Seriously?Billy: Seriously, dude. And I would love to show you, not right now but when you have time, a video of me playing and it's just... I'm not trying to sound cocky but I'm very proud of that progress. Yeah. And you know it's funny because my dad will be like, "Dude, if you learn one whole song, if you learn one whole Blues song, I'll give you $100." So, me being young and money hungry I would stay up all night learning these songs and then in the morning he would give me the money. So that also was a motivation like, "Dude, I'm just going to get this money." I would learn the songs and stayed up all night like, "Dad, I can play now." And he's like, "Man, all right. Here's the money." So, that was pretty cool.Anita: So, your dad was a musician. As a musician he must've been pretty proud of you wanting to do that?Billy: Yeah, he was really happy that I got into it but, for me, I would go a little harder, he would offer me money, which was not necessary, but in a way it was like, "Dude, I want to just show my dad that I can play music well. I can be like him in a way." So, yes, he motivated me a little bit. And then he said I was better than him. After a year of playing he was like, "Dude, you're better than me now."Anita: Did you ever play with him?Billy: Yes, I would play sometimes. A rhythm like “[Singing 00:06:32] Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo” and he would just do the “[Singing] dein neih neihn.”We would play sometimes but yeah, when he saw that I got into it he supported that, for sure.

      Pastimes, music, playing, guitar; Parents;

    8. Billy: And jazz helped me discover that because it's like a chain. African American people help each other out through their music, that helped other people out, that helped me out. Eventually I took my friend out of a heroin addiction because of that, because of the music. And I started crying when he told me. He was like, "Dude, I just wanted to thank you because you took me out of my heroin addiction." I actually did something. So that music was really important for me. It gave me an identity.Anita: So, you were attracted to African American blues and jazz?Billy: Yeah, because my brother was listening to it and so I'm like, "Dude, what are you listening to? This is weird We usually listen to rock." He's like, "Man, this is called blues, bro. This is a really cool music, and it has to do with African American people back in the day and it tells the story of America."Billy: So, I just looked into it and I became obsessed with it. I couldn't stop. Once I discovered Louis Armstrong, that was just it. I could not stop playing jazz and so yeah, in North Carolina, I was just feeling kinda crappy and that music came at the perfect time.

      Time in the US, Pastimes, Music; Feelings, Despair, Hope

    9. Anita: That's pretty cool.Billy: Yeah, I'm sorry for doing that just, I have to burst out and sing.Anita: Yeah, no that was great. That was fantastic. So, as you can tell, Billy is a musician.Billy: I love music, I love to sing. It's just... it's like a form of therapy for me. Yeah. It really is.Anita: Do you sing Mexican stuff or just...?Billy: You know what, it's embarrassing because a lot of people tell me, "Oh, sing this Jose, Jose song or Mexican traditional songs,” and I don't know them and so it's like, "Bro, I'm sorry. I don't know it." I only play grandpa music.Anita: But it's grandpa American music?Billy: It's American music history and if it wasn't for that there wouldn't be a lot of genres today. I really like that old stuff, for sure.Anita: And how did you get exposed to that old stuff?Billy: So, that was in North Carolina. I was actually going through a really big depression. I didn't know what to do anymore, being illegal in the U.S, not being able to find jobs, not being able to go into college was difficult for me so I was falling into a depression. And then I came across this guy called Robert Johnson. Robert Johnson is the king of the Delta blues. He's one of the most important American musicians, ever.Billy: So, I started listening to his music and just the pain and the story of him uplifted me. He was letting me know, "You know what, you're healthy. You're young. Look at these African American people back in the day, what they went through and compared to what you're going through? Don't be a sissy and don't complain."Billy: So that music just uplifted me, and it gave me energy and it let me know, "Bro, you don't have to just be this kid with”—because I had a lot of anxiety—"This kid with anxiety. You can play music and make people feel good." And so that helped me out a lot and eventually that led me to, and this is going to sound weird but, it led me to discover the purpose of what a human is because, listen to this, when you play music, you're helping other people out, right? And you're really contributing to the change that you want to live in the future.Billy: And I was, like, "Dude, what's the purpose of a human being? Why are we here?" And it's simply to help others. That's all it is. It is to contribute to the change you want to live in and it's very fulfilling when you help somebody. And so that let me know, "Dude, you're here to help others and, yeah, just do it."

      Time in the US, Pastimes, Music, Playing, Favorite; States, North Carolina

    1. Reviewer #1 (Public Review):

      The manuscript attempts to analyze the process of Pavlovian conditioning in fly larvae, where the conditioned stimulus (CS) is the presence of CO2 (usually an repulsive signal), and the unconditioned stimulus (US) is an ontogenetic manipulation of reward neurons. In the course of the manuscript, the authors try an astonishing variety of different conditioning protocols, changing the order and the duration of CS and US presentation and the strength of the CS, introducing extinction phases, testing the duration of persistence of the association, and so on.

      Major findings of the manuscript include that:

      1) This is, indeed, a classical Pavlovian system, where the order of the CS/US presentation matters (and not just their co-occurrence).

      2) It is impossible for larvae to be trained to like CO2, and the strongest learning achieved is to become indifferent to it.

      3) The learning and the extinction in these animals is supposedly all-or-nothing - every presentation of CS/US pairing makes a fixed fraction of the animals fully trained, and similarly extinction only changes the fraction of fully trained animals.

      4) Memories persist overnight.

      I find the manuscript illuminating and thought-provoking. I did not expect (2) above, for example. The studies are quantitative, done with high statistical power. and focus on individual animals, rather than ensemble-averaged. Thus I believe the manuscript will be a gold standard for associative learning work in small animals.

      Nonetheless, the manuscript left me wondering about a few serious things.

      1) The choice of CO2 as a CS is both a curse and a blessing. The experimentalists must overcome innate avoidance of the signal, instead of the value of the signal being neutral to a naive animal. The authors speculate that the conditioning here is through inhibition of avoidance, and the picture they try to build (and it would be useful to have this as a simple mathematical model rather than just a picture) is that an unconditioned optogenetic stimulus decreases avoidance of the conditioned stimulus. This is not the standard Pavlovian scheme, where, traditionally, positive reinforcement increases preferences (+ / ++) and negative reinforcement increases avoidance (- /+-) or decreases preference (- /-+). Instead it's an unusual structure where positive reinforcement decreases avoidance (+ / --). This is uncommon -- and results in precisely the same behavior limitations that the authors noted: the most one can do is to decrease avoidance to zero, and then subsequent presentation of CS/US pairs does not lead to emergence of the preference. I think the manuscript would become stronger if the authors tried to speculate what aspects of the animal's ecology would make this uncommon functional organization favored.

      2) Potentially a bigger issue is that the training in these experiments last for a very short time (from 30 s to 15 min or so), while the readout of the behavioral preference takes an hour, during which many unrewarded presentations of CS happen. In the paper, the authors themselves show that unrewarded CS presentations lead to reduction in the behavioral response (fig 3), to the point that overnight memory consolidation is not observed (fig 4). Thus this long scale of the assay compared to the time scale of dynamics of the learning and extinction themselves makes interpretation of the findings very hard, at least for me. For example, is the 50% maximum choice of CO2 due to the animal not being able to establish the preference to it (and only being able to suppress the avoidance), or is it because the animal establishes a strong preference, which then gets partially washed away during the one hour of testing? There are a few ways that this and similar concerns can be addressed. First, a different assay can be established, where the preference is measured as quickly as it gets established and extinguished. Second, one can explore if the preference of animals does not change during the course of the testing phase. This could be done by analyzing the preference over fifteen minute segments, and checking for a drift (one could even combine animals to do so). Third, one can try to establish a mathematical model of conditioning and extinction, which would account for unrewarded CS presentations, and then see whether all of the data can be explained within this model. Or maybe one can do something totally different -- but I believe that some analysis of the effects of the assay on the conditioning state must be performed.

      3) The authors talk about quantized response as compared to gradual learning. This makes it seem that there are only two states that the animals can be in. But this is, in fact, unclear from the data. It's clear that there are two modes: indifferent to CO2 and avoiding it, but the modes are wide. Is there an additional signal there? Where is the width of the modes coming from? Is it simply the counting statistics of making, on average, pN out of N choices? Or are the data hiding something more interesting? This could be addressed by being a bit more careful with statistical analysis, and not treating the data as being fit by two Gaussians with arbitrary widths, but as a mixture of two Bernoulli distributions -- would such model work? If not, then why?

    1. Maybe it's time to admit the obvious. We don't really care about diversity all that much in America, even though we talk about it a great deal.

      He admits the apathy of Americans about diversity. They just don't care as much as they brag about it.

      Nguyen C.

    1. “We’re not talking about automating an entire position,” he said. “It’s just one task within the restaurant, and it’s gnarly, one of the least desirable tasks.”

      Do you think that taking drive-thru orders is one of the least desirable tasks in a fast-food restaurant?

    1. Scan the stories. If you want to be hypervigilant, scan for sources you recognize, and consider sharing one of the stories featuring original reporting instead of the tweet.

      Whenever I saw tweets from people who had the "verified" symbol next to their name on Twitter, I never really thought twice to question the information given to me on that platform, but reading Caulfield's suggestion to be "hypervigilant", it just tells me that it's better to do my own research instead of believing a single source, despite how legitimate the source may seem.

    1. Miguel: What would I say? I would say that the US is giving to Mexico human capital for free. Right? Giving human capital for free because of irrational politics. Because of politics, because of politics that might have some sort of racist undertones. I don't know. They're deporting human capital, they're I guess just giving away money to Mexico, right? Human capital. That's very strange. They're deporting human capital. They're giving, they're importing these great assets for free. Which is good, for Mexico. It's bad for the US. But because of this backward politics.Miguel: So, I would paint something. I would paint a picture of that. You know, this kind of caveman. I would paint a caveman and then just throwing away dollars to Mexico, right or something. Something along those lines, you know of backward politics not realizing that they're deporting human capital.Anita: So, in that human capital, are we talking, we're talking about people who are, like people who speak English. What about the values they come back with? Those experiences, is this something that Mexico gains from its migrants?

      reflections, politics, Mexico, United States

    2. Anita: What happened to get you deported?Miguel: I have a bottle of gin right here. [chuckles] No. Okay, so I was in a mall. I was a little bit drunk, I started talking about politics to the wrong people. The police came. They were military. They told the...Anita: They were military?Miguel: They were military guys. I was speaking to them. We were just speaking about politics and I was just telling...Anita: Where were you?Miguel: In the mall. And I was just telling them how I respect what they do, but they're an oppressive apparatus.Anita: They're an ... a what?Miguel: Oppressive apparatus. That's the word that I used. The exact word that I used before I got deported. I told, "You know, I respect what you do. You know, you don't know, but you are an oppressive apparatus. You do realize that, right?" And they're like, "No, you know", very patriotic. "No" and this and that and you kind of smell like alcohol. I'm just going to leave. I left. Right before coming outside, the police were there and were like, "Hey, we had some complaints that you were bothering folks here. You were bothering fellow military", you know, "Let me search you". I had a bottle of gin. Stupid. That's me.Anita: Word for word.Miguel: So, I had a bottle of gin -- he saw it, "Hey, you're coming downtown with me". And I told him, "Well, if you do this, there will be a lot of repercussions that you don't understand what's going to happen". I was already warning him, I'm going to get deported. I told him the whole picture, "I'm going to separate from my mom, you know. Just so you can keep that in mind". Because police officers can use their judgment and I had police officers that let me go. This guy was a rookie. This guy was into his job. "I'm just trying to do my job". And then I got pissed off and I told him, "I hope you can sleep well at night, because you don't understand what's going to happen. You really do not understand the gravity of this". So, yes, I went to ICE, born in Mexico, now I'm here because of that.Miguel: Not listening to my dad. My dad told me not to go outside. Because he knew that I was very -- I like to speak about politics. I like to speak about politics, and you can get in trouble. You can get deported. He told me that, those exact same words.Anita: He told you not to go outside? What do you mean? Told you not to go and get drunk or [inaudible 01:04:41]?Miguel: Not go outside... Well, he kind of knew what I was going to do, right? It was my day off. He knew I was going to drink some alcohol and maybe be loose with my tongue, right? And that's exactly what happened. Didn't go to a bar, went to a store, drank a little bit. Made me feel good. I wasn't being aggressive with anybody. So, you know, I was kind of ... I drank, but I wasn't aggressive. I was just more talkative than anything. Very talkative. You know, it's kind of weird, you know. But, yes, that's what happened, and you know I drank alcohol. A little bit tipsy. I talked to these military people, got them pissed off, they called the police, police got me, they found an open container, “Let's go to downtown”.Miguel: That's why I'm here, because of alcohol. Mostly not because of alcohol, I think mostly because of, you know, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I drank alcohol in bars and spoke to people, they were pretty rational, and we had some very nice conversations in the bar. You know, I learned a lot.

      deportation, lessons learned

    3. Anita: What's the difference between dating a Mexican person and dating an American?Miguel: Dating an American. There's a lot of differences [chuckles]. Well, first, Mexican girlfriends, they're very... Well it goes back to the individualism, right? It all goes back to that. The girlfriends that I had in the States, very individualistic. You couldn't, you can't dictate what they have to do. You don't own them. You know? If anything, they own you [chuckles]. Right? Women are very, very rough. I dated all kinds of races too. African Americans, white Americans, Chicanas, Asian Americans. They're all different, but what they do share is this individual, this feminism. “You know I have something to say. I'm just as important as you.” You know and learning how to compromise here. What I learned from the girlfriends that I had here is that you can pretty much do whatever you want. Right? They're not going to demand. Some that are pretty rough, they will demand stuff, you know they will be very loyal.Miguel: But what I see here is that women are very loyal. They want to, kind of clean your clothes and cook your dinner. I never had a girl from the States that's going to cook me some dinner or clean me my clothes. But yes, the girlfriend's here, they do that [in awe]. Very, with my mom, they get along though and they're cleaning together, and I don't know. It's very marriage-oriented mentality, right? Even though you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. They see you as their husband really. The way they treat you, the way I've been treated by the girlfriends here is that, you know, like a little girl, almost. Taking care of you, it's pretty nice. I like it. I like the way they treat you here, the Mexican girls.Anita: You like it better?Miguel: Do I like it better? I mean, kind of. I kind of like it better. But I kind of miss somebody, you know, telling me you're kind of fucking up here, you know [chuckles]. Don't tell me that this is right because this is wrong. It's good to hear that sometimes. Somebody to critique you. That's what I like about the American girlfriends. That critique. Right [chuckles]?Anita: So, how long's it take a Mexican girlfriend to move into this kind of, it's a marriage? I understand what you mean metaphorically. Is it immediate, is it once you're boyfriend, girlfriend and it becomes familial... or does it take a while?Miguel: It doesn't take a while, maybe within two weeks. I mean, not everybody's the same. The girls that I was dating were like that. You know, maybe because I was nice. I like to be a gentleman. Very gentleman with women, you know, open the door and—I learned that, to be nice. And I always tell them, your opinion is very important to me, and you're just as independent as me. I mean, I'm not better than you, you're not better than me. We're the same, pretty much the same. But it takes around two weeks already and you've got them in the bag [laughs].Anita: Do you get Mexican women to ever tell you're full of shit?Miguel: Some women, they do. Some women do, they do tell you, you're full of shit. Mexican women. But it's not very common. I only had one girlfriend tell me that. She was Mexican, but she was this type of feminist Mexican. You see, it's very different because there is…I don't know, it is very different here. It's very crazy. You do have Mexican women with a different tradition. Maybe the father wasn't around, maybe the father hit their mother. In this case, her father hit her mother - a very abusive relationship and her father was an alcoholic. So, she demanded, and she would tell you if something was wrong, but she would tell you with the Mexican flavor. Which is different, which is pretty cool, right? Tells you with the Mexican flavor, but it's very rare to find that.

      Mexican culture, American culture, dating, marriage

    4. Anita: Do you think Mexico is less pluralistic?Miguel: I think so. I think so, but there is rare kind of Mexican though. Maybe not the general public, yes, but there is a rare kind of Mexican that are pluralistic. But I think, in general they're not. I think in general they do come with some baggage. They carry baggage. They've been domesticated. In the States we've been domesticated too, but I guess, if you're in the right place and you talk to the right people, you can have this pluralism of having your own world view. I think it's becoming more plural... pluralistic [struggling to enunciate the word]—I can't even talk right now. Pluralistic, that's a hard word for me, but overall, it's not that plural, pluralistic.Anita: What does pluralism mean to you [chuckles]?Miguel: Pluralism, it's everybody has their own... It comes from post modernism, right? Everybody has their own truth, there's not an absolute truth. Your truth is just as valid as the other man's perspective and it’s that perspective, ideas of world views. But here, I think since they're Roman Catholics. I think there's a little bit of that still in the subconscious of Mexicans. And some—I mean it's becoming more pluralistic nowadays. I do see that, but there's still that baggage of thinking collectively. That absolute worldview.

      reflection, Mexico, culture, pluralism

    5. Miguel: That's why I love to listen to jazz. Jazz is the greatest description of the US and of that attitude. Of keeping it cool and that rugged individualism, improvisation. I listen to jazz sometimes when I'm on the metro. And then another metro passes by and you're listening to jazz and then you see the night, the lights, the cars moving by. It's very inspirational [chuckles].Anita: You think jazz is a form of rugged individualism?Miguel: Absolutely, I think jazz is about rugged individualism. It's about a guy with his instrument, just making it up as he goes. Just making it up as he goes. And it's democratic, if you think about it, cause everybody gets to speak in jazz, even the bass player. If you listen to jazz, everybody speaks. The bass player—it's not only the brass. Some people just listen to the brass, but everybody has a story to tell. Everybody listens. Everybody has something to say. Everybody has a solo. I think that's the only art form that has a solo, and it's rugged individualism. It's the American initiative. That's what America is to me. That rugged individualism. That sometimes we don't have here in Mexico. It's very collective. Even though we say it's individualistic, it's not, it's very collective.Anita: Is collective good?Miguel: Collective is good. I love collective. You go to a family gathering and you eat pozole [chuckles]. You're breaking a pinata. They're inviting you to a lot of things. I've been to Itzapalapa, I've been to Tepito. I've been to all kinds of places, celebrated, very, very collective. People helping each other out when the earthquake happens. People are very collective. Which is good. I try to balance both. I try to balance the individualism of America and now in this new stage of my life, the collectivism. To be more collective. Trying to balance it out, maybe something can happen. A good balance can always bring a good result, I think. So, I don't know. I'm learning from the collectivism. I think it's good. It's not always good to be individualistic, right? There's another pluralism of the US. I'm still pluralistic, I'm trying to change that a little bit.

      music, culture, reflection

    6. Miguel: My childhood, my whole idiosyncrasy. My whole world view is shaped by the American perspective. That's why I see myself acting differently than most folks here. I have a different perspective of life.Anita: How do you see yourself acting?Miguel: [Chuckles] I guess I demand my rights. You know, I don't know, I don't have my head down [chuckles]. I'm confident. I walk with confidence in the world. I'm sure by myself and I demand my rights. My girlfriend, she doesn't want me to do that because she feels embarrassed sometimes. For example, just a common example, if we're walking behind somebody in their space or they're just blocking the whole thing, and there's space on the other side, I just say, "Excuse me, excuse me.” And my girlfriend gets mad because here according to this culture, you have to wait. People are afraid to say excuse me. Stuff like that. And I guess just the freedom of thinking. Freedom of developing my own world view, not following an ideology that's been traditional for many years. I shape my own world view, that's what I learned in the States. That rugged individualism [chuckle]. Which could be bad and good. I think it's mostly good to have rugged individualism.

      reflection, ideologies, United States

    7. Miguel: Things happen for a reason. I'm here for a reason, you know. I'm here to do something. I'm not just here because I'm deported. I'm here because, you know, I don't know if you believe in God. I do believe in God. I think God put me here for a reason. Maybe to write a book, maybe to paint, cause I do see myself in that position. It's a little bit rough right now, but nobody had it easy. You know that’s in in a good position now, so, that's what I'm thinking, you know? I've been stimulated. I've been more mature here, actually [chuckles]. It's made me more rough. Made me more rough. More and more attentive. In the US I was kind of pampered. Because the US is the first world, so you're kind of pampered, you have everything. Here you become rough.Miguel: They have a saying, "Te crece el callo.” Callo is callus. You develop calluses. You know, when you play guitar. And then your fingers get hard. It doesn't hurt as much, and you play with more facility. It's the same thing here. I think you develop sort of a social callus. Makes you stronger, makes you faster. I think if I go back to the States, I'll be ten times smarter, ten times faster, ten times stronger, in terms of survival, really. Survival of the fittest because that's what I see here, in the city. Survival of the fittest [chuckles]. In every direction. That's the real God of Mexico. Instead of the Virgencita de Guadalupe and all that, the real God is survival. That's what they worship here.

      reflection, God, faith

    8. Anita: Since your return, have you become aware of any programs that helps poor returning migrants?Miguel: I did. My dad even wrote a letter to the governor of Mexico City. Didn't really do anything, itwas a lot of politics coming back, not doing anything. They gave me a check. It didn't have any stub. The check was worthless. “Yes, come back. It's going to take three months, we're going to give you 13,000 pesos, so you can get your business started.” Didn't happen, it was just too many politics. It was too hard for me to get it. Too many coming back and forth and telling me incongruent stories. That's why I started working in call centers. My idea was to get a school of English, get this money, but that never happened. So that program is, it just really discourages you from getting that money. It's just too many, too many doors, too many hoops you have to jump through. So, it really discouraged me to take that and start—Miguel: [The program was] called repatriados. Right? And you do the whole process, the people are really nice, with a smile. But at the end, there's no actions, there's no—I don't know if you know Spanish, but my grandpa, he said "De lengua me como tres tacos, hechos.” Too much tongue, not enough actions. So it didn't really help me. It didn't help me at all. It sucked. I needed to work. I was getting money in call centers. I started here in Teletech, actually.

      policy for reintegration, employment

    1. Reviewer #2 (Public Review):

      The authors’ study compares neutralisation as well as antibody binding of serum collected from individuals infected with either WT or B.1.1.7 SARS-Cov2 variants. They assess these Ab responses against WT, B.1.1.7 and B.1.351 variants in in vitro assays, ultimately concluding that infection with B.1.1.7 leads to a lower cross-reactive neutralisation than WT because sera from WT maintain neutralisation against B.1.1.7 virus but sera from B.1.1.7 loose neutralisation to WT. The authors provide interesting data on an important question, and a robust analysis of the data. They consider the limitations of the data acquisition process and perform analysis to control for the different sources of the WT and B.1.1.7 sera samples, by matching, disease type (i.e. asymptomatic disease versus symptomatic) and timing of sera collection. However, there is one main point of interpretation that requires a bit more discussion, as it appears possible to interpret the data in the opposite way regarding the authors main conclusion.

      In sup. Fig S9 the authors present their most controlled (like-for-like) comparison of sera from WT and B.1.1.7 infected individuals. They conclude that B.1.1.7 infection leads to nAbs with lower cross reactivity. But this is only true for the fold drop. If you look at the absolute level of nAbs in these two groups, it seems to indicate the opposite conclusion is plausible.

      That is, if you get an asymptomatic B.1.1.7 infection it seems you may have a higher neutralisation against B.1.1.7 and WT (and even B.1.351) compared with someone who receives an asymptomatic WT infection. This would seem to indicate that a B.1.1.7 infection leads to a higher overall response including a higher cross-reactive response. This interpretation is the opposite of the authors, and the difference is whether you consider absolute level or fold-drop as the better measure of cross-reactivity. It may be that B.1.1.7 infections tend to be asymptomatic with higher viral loads and so lead to higher overall Ab responses with asymptomatic infection.

      It is not clear which of these two opposite interpretations of the data is the "correct" interpretation and the authors approach is very reasonable - it's just not clear which is the most meaningful at this stage. Therefore, the authors should include some discussion that another interpretation is possible when looking at the absolute level of nAbs in B.1.1.7 infected individuals and offer a balanced justification for why they favour the interpretation that B.1.1.7 leads to lower cross-reactivity instead of higher cross reactivity.

    1. It is cheering in view of this trend to realize that the American male is physically endowed with all the really essential equipment to compete with the American female on equal terms in one essential activity: the rearing of infants.

      Yes, I feel this experiment did prove that this is possible I feel as humans of course a mother's love and affection and need is favorable, but to those that don't get that and instead find those characteristics in any other adult figure can be just as attached and feeling safe. It's important as well to the history because it also in a way isn't just classify moms/women in one category. And again eye opening that why can't a dad or any other figure help in that area.

    2. n this situation, the variable of nursing appears to be of absolutely no importance: the infant consistently seeks the soft mother surrogate regardless of nursing condition.

      Again I think important in supporting that it isn't just about being fed=love it's needing a mother to protect or make one feel comfortable. More so that children go to mom for the comfort due to attachment than from dad, which dad didn't share a body with a child like mom does.

    1. The 8 Steps of Taking Smart Notes Ahrens recommends the following 8 steps for taking notes: Make fleeting notes Make literature notes Make permanent notes Now add your new permanent notes to the slip-box Develop your topics, questions and research projects bottom up from within the slip-box Decide on a topic to write about from within the slip-box Turn your notes into a rough draft Edit and proofread your manuscript He notes that Luhmann actually had two slip-boxes: the first was the “bibliographical” slip-box, which contained brief notes on the content of the literature he read along with a citation of the source; the second “main” slip-box contained the ideas and theories he developed based on those sources. Both were wooden boxes containing paper index cards.  Luhmann distinguished between three kinds of notes that went into his slip-boxes: fleeting notes, literature notes, and permanent notes.  1. Make fleeting notes Fleeting notes are quick, informal notes on any thought or idea that pops into your mind. They don’t need to be highly organized, and in fact shouldn’t be. They are not meant to capture an idea in full detail, but serve more as reminders of what is in your head. 2. Make literature notes The second type of note is known as a “literature note.” As he read, Luhmann would write down on index cards the main points he didn’t want to forget or that he thought he could use in his own writing, with the bibliographic details on the back.  Ahrens offers four guidelines in creating literature notes: Be extremely selective in what you decide to keep Keep the overall note as short as possible Use your own words, instead of copying quotes verbatim Write down the bibliographic details on the source 3. Make permanent notes Permanent notes are the third type of note, and make up the long-term knowledge that give the slip-box its value. This step starts with looking through the first two kinds of notes that you’ve created: fleeting notes and literature notes. Ahrens recommends doing this about once a day, before you completely forget what they contain. As you go through them, think about how they relate to your research, current thinking, or interests. The goal is not just to collect ideas, but to develop arguments and discussions over time. If you need help jogging your memory, simply look at the existing topics in your slip-box, since it already contains only things that interest you.  Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you turn fleeting and literature notes into permanent notes: How does the new information contradict, correct, support, or add to what I already know? How can I combine ideas to generate something new? What questions are triggered by these new ideas? As answers to these questions come to mind, write down each new idea, comment, or thought on its own note. If writing on paper, only write on one side, so you can quickly review your notes without having to flip them over. Write these permanent notes as if you are writing for someone else. That is, use full sentences, disclose your sources, make explicit references, and try to be as precise and brief as possible.  Once this step is done, throw away (or delete) the fleeting notes from step one and file the literature notes from step two into your bibliographic slip-box. 4. Add your permanent notes to the slip-box It’s now time to add the permanent notes you’ve created to your slip-box. Do this by filing each note behind a related note (if it doesn’t relate to any existing notes, add it to the very end). Optionally, you can also: Add links to (and from) related notes Adding it to an “index” – a special kind of note that serves as a “table of contents” and entry point for an important topic, including a sorted collection of links on the topic Each of the above methods is a way of creating an internal pathway through your slip-box. Like hyperlinks on a website, they give you many ways to associate ideas with each other. By following the links, you encounter new and different perspectives than where you started. Luhmann wrote his notes with great care, not much different from his style in the final manuscript. More often than not, new notes would become part of existing strands of thought. He would add links to other notes both close by, and in distantly related fields. Rarely would a note stay in isolation. 5. Develop your topics, questions, and research projects bottom up from within the slip-box With so many standardized notes organized in a consistent format, you are now free to develop ideas in a “bottom up” way. See what is there, what is missing, and which questions arise. Look for gaps that you can fill through further reading. If and when needed, another special kind of note you can create is an “overview” note. These notes provide a “bird’s eye view” of a topic that has already been developed to such an extent that a big picture view is needed. Overview notes help to structure your thoughts and can be seen as an in-between step in the development of a manuscript. 6. Decide on a topic to write about from within the slip-box Instead of coming up with a topic or thesis upfront, you can just look into your slip-box and look for what is most interesting. Your writing will be based on what you already have, not on an unfounded guess about what the literature you are about to read might contain. Follow the connections between notes and collect all the relevant notes on the topic you’ve found. 7. Turn your notes into a rough draft Don’t simply copy your notes into a manuscript. Translate them into something coherent and embed them into the context of your argument. As you detect holes in your argument, fill them or change the argument. 8. Edit and proofread your manuscript From this point forward, all you have to do is refine your rough draft until it’s ready to be published. This process of creating notes and making connections shouldn’t be seen as merely maintenance. The search for meaningful connections is a crucial part of the thinking process. Instead of figuratively searching our memories, we literally go through the slip-box and form concrete links. By working with actual notes, we ensure that our thinking is rooted in a network of facts, thought-through ideas, and verifiable references.

      This is the most important part of the whole article and worth coming back to time and time again.

    1. Anne: That's great. It sounds like you've got great goals and that you'll be able to achieve them. One last question before we end. Do you think there's anything the Mexican government should do to help people coming back from the United States to integrate into society? Are there things that you see that are important to that?Juan: Yes. There's a lot of things that the Mexican government can do. Well, personally, I have family here, my aunt, and she was nice enough to allow me to stay in her house. In that part, I didn't struggle to have a house, but there's people who do come back and don't have any family here, or they do have family, but they've been rejected by them and they don't have anywhere to stay. I don't know if maybe having shelters for them.Juan: I know New Comienzos helps people who … Sometimes they do go to the airport and they do welcome them to Mexico. I haven't seen any other community do that for their own people. New Comienzos does stand out because they do go out of their way to make you feel at home. When I had just recently got here, New Comienzos helped me out as well and I felt like I was part of a community, that I wasn't alone, that I have somebody else to help me out.Juan: If maybe helping out New Comienzos grow bigger, or making new communities for people who do come back, get deported, help them with shelters, work, emotionally. There's a lot of things that the government can do, a lot of programs that they can provide. For example, my program that I want to give out, making houses out of plastic for people who can't afford them. I can make them affordable so they can live there and they can have this at home.Juan: Then, build a community where we all help each other, change the way people see things here in Mexico, have them have a different point of view in life, grow as a community, help each other out. There's a lot of things that the government can do, but, unfortunately, won't be done because of the current government that we have. When we get into politics, there's a lot of things that just— we all see positive things, but with all the corruption here in Mexico, it's hard.Juan: Unless we change the government and we put somebody who's a doctor or an architect or an engineer to become president and they have a different point of view, not just the political view, we won't be able to change anything. It's more of a Mexico thing. I guess we're not going so far; we have Trump right now. I'm not sure how you guys feel about Trump. The way I see, we provide power to the wrong people all the time.

      Reflections, Mexico, Policy to help integrate migrants back into Mexican society

    2. Juan: As a community, we always do wrong. When I was in the US, we had Bernie. I love Bernie, I wish he would have been president, but they chose Hillary instead, and Hillary lost against Trump. Then I come to Mexico, and we had all hopes that this new government was going to do positive things. He is making a change, but it's going downhill right now. My long-term goal is to be able to change the way people view things, because Mexicans can be selfish, they can be ignorant.Juan: That's because that's how they were taught since they were little. What I want to do is change Mexico and take out all the potential that we have, because we have so much potential, we just don't do it, so does the US. The US has so much potential, one of the top ones with the potential, but because of right now with the leaders that we have, we're not able to provide it. Then again, I guess that's overall as a society. We want to change this, let's change this or change that, but we can't, because the person who is ruling is not going to … They have other things in priority.Anne: Maybe you'll be a president.Juan: I want to be president, but I want to make a change [Chuckles].Anne: That's great. Well, thank you very much.Juan: Yeah, no problem.

      Reflections, The United States, Mexico; Feelings, Dreams

    3. Anne: You go back to Mexico and you got to college. Was it hard making that transition?Juan: Yes, it was. The thing is, since I knew I was going to come back I was determined to go back to college. Before I came back, I made sure that I went to the state’s—I got my high school diploma stamped by the state, by the Provo School District. I got a stamp, I got all my papers before I came back so that made it a lot easier for me. Because I know people who come back and want to go to college, but they can't because they didn't do what they had to do before they came back and then they just give up.Juan: They're like, "It's going to be so hard to get that, so I just don't want to do it." I thought of my future and I was like, "No, I've got to get this done," so I got it done. I came back, I put in my process of getting my high school diploma and all my years over there of studies renewed. Or how do you say it? Validated.Anne: Validated.Juan: Get it validated, and it did take six months but I got the answer back. Everything is good and I was able to go back to college. At the beginning it was hard, because obviously everything was in Spanish, and my Spanish wasn't that good in reading or speaking or even writing. It wasn't perfect, but I did manage to do my best, and at the moment, from the six semesters that I've been in college right now, I've only failed one class. That was in my first semester and it was history.Juan: Because, again, going back to the Spanish, it wasn't so good, that I wasn't able to pass the class. But now my Spanish is a lot better and, right now, I don't think I'm going to fail any classes because I'm set. In the beginning it was hard adapting to the classmates, to the culture and stuff like that, but I'm managing right now. I'm halfway through my career, I'm looking into different projects, like I mentioned, the Airbnb. I'm looking to finishing my career strong and start my quest as an entrepreneur.

      Return to Mexico, Challenges, Bureaucracy, Language; Feelings, Dreams

    4. Anne: Do you think being in the US changed your life, changed you in any significant ways?Juan: Yes, because I lived in Provo, where all the Mormons are, and most of them are humble, most of them are nice people. I guess I got used to that. So at the moment, right now, I don't think I will ever adapt to the way people are here in Mexico. I don't know if you've met Mexicans who are from not the center, but the outside of the cities, their personality is just a lot different than a US citizen. They have different thoughts, different priorities, which makes them have different personalities.Juan: In that way, I am thankful that I grew up in the US, because the way that I am, I consider myself somebody who's humble. I don't really like to get in discussions or stuff like that. I'd rather just do my own thing, be respectful to everybody. The way you treat me is how I will treat you, that's the way I will always treat people with respect and stuff like that. In that way, I am thankful that I grew up in the US because I do have a different lookout in life.Anne: What do you miss most about the US?Juan: The vegetation, the nature, because I remember in the US I can go out in the soccer fields and there's actual grass. The mountains.Anne: It's beautiful.Juan: Yes. That's what I miss most about it, the nature.

      Reflections, The United States, Favorite parts, missing, Mexico, Worst parts about being back

    5. Anne: How long have you been back?Juan: I've been here for three years.Anne: Is it hard?Juan: At the beginning it was hard because … Getting adapted to Mexico and not being with my family, but I was determined. I'm still determined—like I told you, right now I'm in college. I'm halfway through my career and, just recently, two weeks ago, I quit my job so I can start to look into … Because I'm done working for another company. I want to start my own company, and I don't know if you met Mauricio, he's one of the teachers here.Anne: Yes.Juan: You could say he's been my mentor now because right now he has his school of English and he's showing me the path of how I can be an entrepreneur. Right now, my goals are to, first of all, finish my career and then start off Airbnb. We're looking into that. We're looking for a potential house in Tepoztlán, which is an hour and a half from here, which is a really tourist part.Juan: Hopefully, once we get that going, we can get some houses here in the city, in the center. Then that way I can manage that then pay off school and work with that. My main goal is to be able to pay back … So my parents can say that they're proud of me, that the help that they provided me, it wasn't for nothing. Because how I see it is this thing could have gone both ways. I could've come back to Mexico and then I could've been in depression and started hanging out with the wrong people.Juan: Not go to school, not get a job, just not care of what had happened. But I decided to not go that route, to actually put an effort in my life, to have the ambition to grow as a person individually, also as a career, to grow. So, one day my parents can be like, "We're proud of you and we've always believed in you and the help that we provided you wasn't for nothing." I have a lot of goals in life. Actually, dealing with architecture.Juan: My plan is I want to have enough money so I can build houses out of plastic—not in the center because it's already big enough. I want to build houses out of plastic in the outside of the city, in Ixtapaluca, Chignahuapan, the outside parts of the city where it's really rural, really rough sizes, and help back to the community, be able to provide with houses that they are able to afford, but there are also houses that are … How do I say it? Houses that are … I had the word.Anne: Environmentally sound, maybe? Good for the environment?Juan: Yes. Good for the environment. Yes, to have a decent home. Because not a lot of people here have that. Supposedly the law here says that every Mexican citizen has the right to have a decent house and obviously they don't follow that. I want to be able to provide that to the community. Right now, I'm not looking into the making the profit for me. I want to give back to my community, make it grow.Juan: Because there's a lot of potential in Mexico that I didn't see because I was in the US, but now that I'm here, I see how my actual home country is. I know if I work hard, I can make an impact to my society. I can make a change, and that's pretty much my goal. I want to make an impact. I want to use my architectural skills and my construction skills that I'm developing right now.Anne: That you're studying in school?Juan: Yes, I'm studying architecture. I want to be able to … Right now, I'm starting to comprehend how I can make it possible, how I can make houses out of plastic. They're already making it happen in Colombia and they have another method of, here in Mexico City, making houses out of plastic. I want to come up with my own research but I know it takes time, it takes dedication. I'm willing to work for it because it's something positive that I want to give back to my community.Juan: When I had first come back, my plan was to graduate from college and go back to the US, because that's where I feel happy, but that's no longer my vision. I want to stay here, I want to help out my country because I love Mexico. I love the culture, I love the people. But unfortunately, because of the politics, the corruption, Mexico isn't so well. I know me, as an individual, I can make an impact on society, on the communities. I know that with my career as an architect I can make it happen.Anne: That's amazing, that's great, that's wonderful. You have great dreams.Juan: Yes [Chuckles].

      Return to Mexico, Education, College, Jobs, Occupation, Feelings, Dreams

    6. Anne: In the US, it didn't happen?Juan: My plan was, when I was 16 I had received DACA. I was one of the first ones who had received it—because that's when it had barely come out. I applied for it, I got it. I think I was a junior in high school. My first job was as a dishwasher, and then from there—Anne: You got a green card so you could go to work?Juan: I don't consider DACA as a green card. It's more like a permit to work.Anne: A permit to work.Juan: Yeah, I had DACA, so my plan was to graduate high school, work for one or two years, save up money, then go to college. That was my plan, but a situation happened—I think I was twenty. No, I was nineteen about to be twenty. I got accused of something, which was a really big deal, and it all went downhill from there. I got accused and then I was working one day and the cops came looking for me and they were like, "Are you Juan?"Juan: I'm like, "Yes," so they're like, "You're being accused of this and that," and then I got sent to jail. I was being accused of a first-degree felony, so they were like, "If you're found guilty of a first-degree felony, you can take up to six to twenty years in prison." Right there, my whole life was—I hit the bottom. I was nineteen with a first-degree charge and it all went along, my parents, they got me a lawyer.Juan: I was in jail for five months fighting my case and then they found out that I wasn't guilty, so this is something really strange because—Anne: They found out you weren't guilty.Juan: Yes, I wasn't guilty. I was proven innocent, but the thing is that since it was a first degree felony, they usually don't drop it down. This is what I found out when I was in jail—because you learn things when you're in jail—that when you have a first-degree felony, they drop it down to a second or third degree and then they give you a plea. How do you say it? Yes, a plea.Anne: A plea.Juan: That wasn't my case, because I couldn't live with the felony on my record. From a first-degree felony, they dropped it down to a Class A misdemeanor, so obviously I wasn't guilty at all. I was proven innocent after five months [Chuckles].Anne: Couldn't they just wipe it out altogether? Why did it have to be a misdemeanor?Juan: Because the state couldn't lose, that's the thing. When you're in jail, you learn a lot of things and my lawyer at the moment, he explained everything. If we were to take it to trial and the state loses, it's going to look bad on them. Obviously, they're not going to let me live clean. They're going to want me to take one charge at least. So, what they did was, from a first-degree felony, they dropped it down to a Class A misdemeanor.Juan: They couldn't take off all of the charges because that would mean taking it to trial—it's going to cost a lot of money—so they were like, "Accept the plea deal and then you're free to go, but you will have the Class A misdemeanor. With time and with the lawyer, you can remove it from your record, but not a felony. A felony will always be on your record.” So, I took the deal, and then as soon as I took the deal, I was free to go, but immigration got me right there.Juan: Immigration got me, they removed my DACA, and after that I started my process with immigration. I was in jail for, in total, eight months. Five with the state then three with immigration. I think I would have been able to stay if I was married to a US citizen or if I'd had a kid, or if I had something that tied me to the US. But since I was nineteen, I wasn't married, I didn't have any kids, I didn't have anything that tied me to the US.Anne: The Class A misdemeanor, that's one of the misdemeanors that is disqualifying for DACA?Juan: Yes.Anne: Did they know? I guess your lawyer knew that this was going to happen.Juan: Yes. He knew that they were going to remove DACA.Anne: Though he told you that it's the kind of misdemeanor that you could expunge from your record?Juan: Yes.Juan: He did say we can stay, take it to trial, and here's the big dilemma. You could either win with the jury or you can lose with the jury. If you lose, then you can look up to twenty years in prison. But if you win, you live clean you know? But do you really want to take the chance? Taking it to trial does take a long time. It can take up to a year or a year and a half in jail, and I was already five months in jail. I'm like, "I don't want to be here anymore."Anne: You said that you were accused of a felony. Was it a fabricated accusation?Juan: Yes, fabricated accusation—do you mean was it made up?Anne: Yes.Juan: Yes, it was made up. It was a made-up accusation.Juan: The funny part is that once I was out of jail because … When I was with immigration, the judge found me … I wasn't a danger to society or anything like that. He let me off with a…How do you call it?Anne: A bond?Juan: With a bond, yes. Actually, it was a $10,000 bond. Then my dad came up with the money fast so that he could get me out of jail.Juan: It was something that, like I said, I'm just glad it's over with but it's an experience that I went through that sometimes I do hate myself for putting myself in that situation because I could say, "Well, maybe that night I should've just stayed home. I shouldn't have gone out and I should've just…" Because at that time, I had a good job. My brother was doing good, my family was doing good, my parents, they would go camping every weekend or they would go fishing. They would go out.Juan: I would provide help financially to my parents, so we were all doing good. My brother and I graduated high school. We were looking to our future—everything was doing good. We were looking into getting a house. Sometimes I do feel guilty. I’m like, because of the situation that happened for me, my parents' plans, they all went downhill and I'm just glad that they … Because one thing that I remember is that when they first took me in jail, they're like, "You have one call."Juan: I called my dad and I was crying. I was like, "Dad, I'm in jail." He was like, "Why?" I'm like, "They're accusing me of this." And he just said, "Don't say anything. We're going to get a lawyer and just hang in there." My dad, he did everything in his power to help me out. He didn't know what happened [Emotional], but he believed in me because he knew that the kind of person that I was, and so then my mom ... All my friends, they didn't help me at all. It was my parents who went to the trials and stuff like that. [Chuckles]

      Time in the US, Higher Education, Dreaming about, Arrests, Misdemeanors, False accusations, Prison, Feelings, Sadness, Tragedy, Disappointment, Despair, Regret, Dreams

    7. Anne: What position do you play?Juan: It depends. I could play center mid or forward. But ever since I got back to Mexico, I haven't played soccer. I guess it's a personal thing. I don't find soccer fun anymore. I did play soccer—my cousin who lives here with me, he has a soccer team. All of his friends play with him, but I just don't feel like I fit in, so I played a couple of games with his team and it doesn't feel the same. I don't feel the same playing soccer as if I were to be playing with my friends in the US, so I don't know. It's been a year, year and a half, since I played soccer. I just don't feel the same about it.Anne: That's too bad.Juan: Yes [Chuckles].Anne: Do you follow the soccer leagues or national teams at all?Juan: I used to be really into the teams, but not anymore. Right now my focus is on other things and on the things that I used to think of. Right now, I'd rather focus on other things than keeping up with teams.

      Time in the US, Pastimes, Sports, Soccer, Favorite teams

    8. Anne: Did you make friends in school?Juan: Yes. You could say I was lucky because I was able to make friends and I was able to adapt to their lifestyle and to their culture, but there's other kids who had the same situation as me and they weren't able to adapt. The Caucasian kids, they just didn't accept them—as in, for me, they did accept me. I don't know if it's because of the way that I was or my personality, but I didn't have much trouble with that.Juan: I did see that other kids who had the same situation as me, they didn't get accepted because—I don't know in that scenario what people looked at or why it was that I was lucky to get accepted when others didn't.Anne: How about your brother?Juan: My brother the same. I guess we were into sports, we played soccer, we went to school activities. In a way that also helped us to be able to adapt and to get along with other kids. I guess we didn't close our circles or we weren't closed-minded, it was other worlds. We just wanted to learn from the different culture. We didn't really struggle that much to adapt, but then again, there's other people who do struggle.

      Time in the US, School, Fitting in/belonging, Making friends, Extracurricular activities, sports

    9. Anne: Did you cross the border with your family?Juan: No, so my mom, she did have to walk when she crossed the border, meaning she had to get smuggled in, so she crossed by walking in the mountains. My brother and I … my dad found a lady who had two young sons who looked like us. What she did is when it was night time—I was eight, my brother was nine, I still remember we were in the back seat—and then, like any other family, we crossed the border.Juan: The guy from immigration, he just dimmed his light at us and they let us pass, so we didn't struggle. We just crossed with the car like normal, but my mom, she did struggle. I think she took three weeks. From what she tells me, it's the worst thing that could happen to her. Because whenever immigration were close by, they had to hide. I guess it's do or die because people do die when they cross the border and she's one of the lucky ones that was able to make it back to their families.Anne: It's a rugged trek.Juan: Yes, it is.

      Mexico before the US, Border crossing

    1. Claudia: I see. Did you like school? What did you get up to in the States?Yosell: In the States I finished my high school out there, and I was actually studying a little bit of college, but after the dumb Trump kind of thing came in place, I was just like, "Eh." And my mom had cancer at the time—she was fighting her cancer. So I ended up just saying, "I'm going back out to Mexico to live this time and actually live out here." I ended up just coming back, and just forgetting about college over there, and came back here to Mexico to actually live. And of course I was actually helping my mom with the cancer thing.Claudia: What did you do in the States? What did you like to do for fun?Yosell: Out in the States?Claudia: Yeah.Yosell: I actually had a sponsor for snowboarding and surfing.Claudia: Holy shit, that's awesome.Yosell: That's basically what I did. I just got paid to do that. And when I wasn't working with that, I would travel a lot with my dad. My dad would work with construction. I would just be with my dad or do my thing, and that's it, basically.Claudia: What did you like about snowboarding and surfing?Yosell: Let's see, snowboarding. I would always go back out to Utah, to Salt Lake, cause I loved snowboarding there and plus we'd always get free gear out there from the sponsor. The best part I probably like out there was camping out in the mountains. I really like camping a lot, I don't know why, it's just something I always did like. [Chuckle]. And from surfing, I don't know, it was always really into water.Yosell: I can remember when I was just a little kid, my dad would actually take me out to San Francisco and Venice Beach and all those kinds of beaches to just kick it. And I would see a bunch of my cousins surfing, so I think that's where it came on. I think I like almost any other sport, really, it's just like something that my dad put us into. He would take me, and I have two little brothers, out dirt biking a lot.Claudia: When you say you had a sponsorship, does that mean that you competed?Yosell: Yeah. It usually would take us out, and my dad would actually come with me, since I was still a minor, and it would just get a couple of videos into it, just do my stuff basically. That's all I would do.Claudia: Did you ever see yourself doing that when you were older?Yosell: I actually used to get paid for that out there, but just since I did end up just coming out to Mexico, I talked to my sponsor—which his name was called Jones, he was my manager out there—and I told him, "Hey, you know what? I'm going out to Mexico." And I got to say thanks and that's it. And he actually tried—when I got out to Mexico, I had contact with him a lot—he's telling me, "Hey, I want to see if we can get you a green card or something." I kind of didn't want to go back out to the States. I kind of just wanted to stay here. I really didn't even know Mexico, so that was part of it. I surfed a couple of times here in Mexico, but it's expensive out here to do something. You can't really do much.

      Time in the US, Jobs/employment/work, Careers, Athlete, Family, Friends, Hanging out;

    2. Claudia: What's been the hardest part back in Mexico?Yosell: The hardest part here in Mexico is actually I'm trying to live here with the economy that they have. One day transport is cheap, the next day it goes up, and then it keeps going up, and you're just like, "Oh." It's just really hard to keep up with it.Claudia: What have you been up to in this past year and a half that you've been here?Yosell: This past year I moved in with my girlfriend, so I've been here ever since, and we met each other here. So I ended up moving out with her, and I'm trying to do my university but it's kind of hard and stuff like that.Claudia: What are you trying to study?Yosell: I was actually doing a graphic designs and stuff like that.Claudia: Cool!Yosell: That was always something I did like. And now in the States I actually had an administration, so that was probably one of those two.Claudia: Are you currently working or what are you doing?Yosell: Yeah, currently I had a cousin that got me to work here at T-Tech, so I guess that was it.Claudia: Do you like T-Tech?Yosell: Yeah, it’s a pretty interesting place.Claudia: In what ways?Yosell: It kind of reminds me of the high school out in the States. That's basically that's all I can say about it. [Chuckle]Claudia: In what way does it remind you of a high school?Yosell: With all the people in there, basically it's a high school. That's how high school is out there. It just reminded me exactly like in California high school.

      Return to Mexico, Challenges, Employment, Jobs, Call Centers, Community

    3. Claudia: Why? Do you think it's because of all the tattoos?Yosell: Probably, that's probably why it is. The way you dress.Yosell: Since I do remember I was maybe 17 or 16 when I started getting tattooed drunk.Claudia: Here or in the States?Yosell: Out in the States.Claudia: What did you like about tattoos?Yosell: Basically, the story it tells. There's a lot of things into it.Claudia: Do you have a favorite one?Yosell: My favorite one would probably be like I have these two angels here. Those are my two brothers, so I decided to get them, and I got my mom tattooed on my head.Claudia: Oh wow, that's amazing.Yosell: That's probably one of my favorite ones. Let's see, I had a cousin that got shot out in the States out in Utah, so I ended up getting a Salt Lake tattoo right here.Claudia: Oh, I see.Yosell: I guess there's a couple. I got these two right here, it's probably my favorite tattoo, actually. It says—Claudia: Did that hurt a lot? I know that's a stupid question, but I'm just very curious.Yosell: [Laughs]. It didn't hurt quite as much as I thought it would, it was just more like, "Oh my eyes are really like, tiring," kind of stuff, so that didn't really hurt. I think the worst I've ever had hurt was probably right here on the collarbone area. Yeah, that's probably the worst.Claudia: We've heard from a lot of people here tattoos are kind of associated with gangs and criminal activity over in the States, and that's why a lot of migrants when they come back get profiled. Do you think that's true?Yosell: I have to tell you, I'm going to guess that's really true. Because it's just something really common up there. Either you join something and you're known as hardcore, you're known as somebody, or you don't join anything and you get bullied around. That's what I could say.

      Time in the US, Tattoos, Meaning

    4. Claudia: In what ways do you think that being in the U.S. all that time shaped who you are?Yosell: I think the only way I can put it really is just being strong. Because basically you got to learn how to mature in a faster way than you'd probably do it here. I've seen a couple of family members or friends here that are like 30 years old and they're still living with their dad and mom. They're just like not doing anything for their life, and opposed of people out there, most of them that I do know were just living by themselves and doing their thing. I'd say out there it's probably not that good because you’d get, because most of the people would get into some kind of a drug addiction or something like that. I’d say, here, here it'd be probably the same, but out there it'd be easier to make money. Here it's a lot harder. That's probably what's the difference here to there. That's what I'm saying, I think out there you learn how to be strong. When you come here, you're just like, "Oh." most people get depressed or frustrated here. Others actually know how to move on and continue. That's probably how I see it.

      Reflections, The United States; Feelings

    1. Anita:Was he impressed?Beto:[42:45] He was impressed. He was impressed. When he taught them how to do the equations, I already knew how to do them, and when he taught them how to do the geometrical, that's how you call them, the geometrical, Pi and try to get the– He drew a circle and, in the circle, just to get the equation for you to, on the circle, make a pentagon, things like that. I already knew how to do those in my head. "You already knew?" "Yes. That's what I learned here in Mexico."Anita:Was he surprised that a Mexican knew that?Beto:Yes, very surprised. He was very surprised, and he wanted to know how, and I showed him how. He used to-Anita:Was he respectful at all?Beto:Yes. Yes. He was. I remember one time he got me, it was like [unintelligible 44:03], I mean they had this ticket for breakfast at that time when you go pick up your breakfast and he's like, "Here, I'll give you an extra for you to take another breakfast tomorrow in the morning or lunch." "Thank you, teacher." I was just learning. "How come you got all this?" "Because I learned it in Mexico." "They know more than us?” I don't know, but here in Mexico I learned the hard way. Teachers were very tough at that time. I had teachers that they actually pulled your hair if you didn't bring your homework at that time. That's the teachers I had. When I got there it was like, mathematics was like-Anita:Abraham Lincoln?Beto:No, no, I didn't know who that was. I knew he was in in Washington sitting down right there in a big sculpture. That's all. It's like, "Abraham Lincoln. Something about the Constitution." The Constitution? No, I don't know what it is.Anita:But you learned.Beto:I learned, yes. They used to put us, those cartoons for politics, I remember I don't know how else to call it. I remember that with cartoons they used to tell you about the amendments, the Constitution, who Abraham Lincoln was. I didn't understand them. After a while, I just started comprehending English and learning. But it was very difficult.Anita:Did you recite the Pledge of Allegiance?Beto:

      Time in the US, Learning English; Time in the US, School, Middle School

    2. Anita:That's fascinating. To go back to something else, I asked you what you missed from the United States. Let me ask you that again. You said you missed the tastes. Can you expand on that?Beto:I miss the taste. I miss the relaxation, everything that's around in the States. It's very –you don't stress that much. I used to travel around at work and the view is beautiful. There's a lot of places that are beautiful. I haven't had a chance to travel here. But the food, the American stuff, the things I used to do early in the morning like to go to this American restaurant and ask for my hash browns, my bacon, jar of orange juice and a coffee, it’s just amazing. The cook was my friend and, he knew me already. "Hey Beto." "Hey my friend. Same?" It was amazing. Something that we don't have here. Something that's missing here when you go in, the way they treat you, it's beautiful.Anita:What do you mean the way they treat you?Beto:Like they always smile at you. They actually say good morning, good afternoon. I never had a bad experience at a restaurant. Most likely, in a public area, never had a bad experience.Anita:When you went in there, he remembered your order.Beto:Yes. They remember my order. It was amazing because they got me there. Now I know why Starbucks puts your name on the little thing because by putting your name, it's like you are part of this place. They make you feel like you are part of that specific restaurant. Not like what you see in the movies. But I had a lot of restaurants where I used to go in, and they were all my friends and they told me here, "Why don't you change your name when you, when you make- " "I don't have to, everybody knows Beto."Beto:I go, they know Beto everywhere. Every time it's like, "Beto, hey Beto, amigo, same?" "Yes. But now make a little bit more toasty." It is beautiful. I mean I got the taste of American food and all of the areas. I even went to Chinese places. There's a lot of people there. I mean I never had a bad experience. It was good.Anita:The last thing is, tell me this lasagna story again.Beto:Oh, the lasagna.Anita:Then I'll let you go.Beto:[31:47] Okay, well we're talking about discrimination in this case. I was just cooking lasagna and my family told me, "What are you doing?" "I'm cooking a lasagna. You guys want some?" This was a beautiful lasagna in a crystal base. They told me, "Why don't you cook something Mexican? You're in Mexico." "What do you want me to cook, beans?" "Some beans, I don't know, something Mexican." "But I love lasagna. You guys want to have some lasagna?" "No, it looks nasty. No." This is one of the things that you encounter when you're here that we're talking about people that are trying to learn and people who don’t want to know what's going on. It's like, "Taste lasagna. Have a little taste?" "No but it looks nasty." "It's just pasta there and then tomato. Take a little taste." "No, I’ll just go back to my kitchen and have some beans and chicharron and all this Mexican food."Beto:I mean, I like it, but I also like to have something from over there or what I used to eat over there. I brought my microwave. I'm living like I’m in the States. I mean I try to make my living like in the States: nice and easy. When I met my wife, I had all my stuff, my cooking stuff. She was like, "What is this?" I have my [inaudible 00:34:04] I don't know like heat, not the microwave. The other one.Anita:A toaster oven?Beto:Toaster oven, yes. "Why is that? What's that for?" "Well, I cook lasagna, and I make potatoes with cheese and I put a lot of stuff on it and I cook there." "I didn't know you cook." "Yes, I do.” Sometimes I don't like to eat a lot of greasy stuff from here. I do want something else. I want something that can remind me of the States. That's true. I cook. I also make, for myself, big pieces of meat, and I cook them there. Yes. It's like, "Why are you like that?" Because I used to go to restaurants, Black Angus. Oh my God, beautiful meat. I love meat. That reminds me of the meat. I can even have it medium like I like it. It's not that I really love to cook, but I have to cook because I want a little bit of over there.Anita:What's the food that most reminds you of over there?Beto:American breakfast. It reminds me the most. American breakfast is the best. Sausages. I love sausages. When I had my first sausages with honey, it's like meat and sweet, but that taste in your mouth, it takes you to some other place. Like, this is good. It's like the American breakfast with sausages and bacon. I used to put a lot of honey syrup. It's like, "This is great. Let me have another one." Or I used to stop by in the mornings. That's one of the things that really reminds me, because the morning there, everybody's awake early and there's a lot of places already open for you to have this good American breakfast. It reminds me a lot because you go there, and I have my hash browns, bacon, my big orange juice and coffee, American coffee. Here, well it's very tough to decide. There's nothing like over there. It reminds me a lot.

      Reflections, The United States, Favorite parts, missing

    3. Beto:I'm pretty sure the call centers are doing their best to help us out, but I don't know. It is very difficult. You're actually waiting to see what's going to happen. Every time you go to a call center, you wait to see what's going to happen next. Okay, I'm here right now. This is a good account. I'm getting my money, but what if it moves? For us it's difficult because, as being in this business, I think it is a business, I got to invest my time and I’ve got to save money because I don't know what's going to happen next. That's why I've been in so many call centers here.Anita:You told me you've been to a lot of centers.Beto:I've been to a lot of call centers, a lot. Tell me about it, you can ask me about the call centers, the things I’ve done, the accounts. I've been to a MasterCard, Kohls, I've even sold packages for cable TV, all those things. You get to learn too. That's one of the advantages because you're learning too, because you're managing money, people's money, you actually get to know. I mean, on my end, that's what I've learned. I don't talk bad about the call centers. I learned a lot. I never, well, in the States I never had a credit card due to the fact that I was an illegal immigrant. But here I have been managing people's credit cards, and it's like, "Oh, I didn't know about this." I mean, right now I'm in a call center where you lease phones. I was surprised about leasing phones. I never heard about leasing phones. I heard about leasing TVs, leasing cars, but phones?Beto:Right now, I'm leasing the phones and have to explain to them that they're not financing the phones. I learned other stuff, like when you finance, and you rent is a completely different thing. You’re learning a lot. you really get to learn a lot about call centers.Anita:When you call up these call centers or customer service and you end up at a call center, people know so much. With all this movement, how do you master everything you need to know to be able to offer that service?Beto:Okay, well actually, at every call center... It's amazing when you go in and apply at a different call center. Because the first time I got to a call center, it was difficult for me when the company moved. For me, moving to another one is like, "What am I going to do? I just know how to manage this system." But it’s amazing that most of the call centers have a similar system. They manage a similar system. I mean they all go and manage this system called Abaya, which is the one that you get to answer the phones. Most companies have the Abaya. I really don't know why, but all of them are similar. Okay?Anita:Mm-hmm (affirmative).Beto:After that, most of the steps that you follow are the same. Even though they're different products, the steps are very similar. You don't get really trapped in like what am I going to do next? No, it's very similar and they actually give you a very good training and you get to know, “I used to do this at this call center.” I used to manage, for example, setting up a credit card to make a payment. Most of the systems are the same. It's like, okay, I know how to do this. Most of the accounts you get the personal information about the customer, so you have to get the customer's information. You know that you have to set it up on tabs and all the squares but it's very similar.Anita:But dealing with Kohls, are we talking about the clothing? Dealing with customers calling about Kohls and dealing with customers calling about leasing a phone is a completely different product.Beto:Right. Different products, same process.Anita:How do you learn about the product? Don't you have to know about the product?Beto:Yes, they teach you about each product and how it works. The similar thing is at every call center you must ask for personal information. After that then it goes to product, which is not difficult. It's just the process that – in this case, for example, Kohls, clothing product. They teach you. You don't have to learn about each and every clothing. No, it's numbers. All of the clothes go by certain numbers that you'd have to click in. It's called S-K-Us, right? Here in the phone industry, we manage the phones, but it's the same at Kohls because you're not managing clothing, but you manage a number. Okay? You click on the number and the basic number pulls out the brand of the phone. I know on our end Samsung Galaxy or an iPhone is called iPhone or Samsung, but in this industry it's a number. That's why you don't really get to move like, okay, I need to learn woman's miniskirts or a woman's bra or a bunch of phones. Like, "What am I going to do?" I mean it's been a long time. “Nokia? Somebody is asking me for a Nokia? They're gone.” But yes, you just put on the number and it's amazing. “Nokia It's been a long time since I've seen you. I had you once, and you fell down, but you never die.”Anita:Is it boring?Beto:Sometimes it is. It is something that is very routine. It's a routine. Especially when you're back-to-back, when you have one call after another, then it is boring. Even the call centers try to help you out with certain days, like, "Okay, we'll take you out for, I don't know, a little breakfast." Still, you're going back to the call. It is boring sometimes. It's very stressful. Managing people, customer service, face to face or on the phone, is difficult. Dealing with people is, I'm not going to say the worst because we have to deal with people, but it is very, very difficult.Anita:You're dealing with angry people.Beto:I deal with very angry people. Yes. I have to breathe. I put myself on a little mute. I listen to everything they got to say. Sometimes they tell me, I mean what customers tell me is like, "I'm not angry about you, I'm angry about the product. I'm angry about the company." But I have to take it because I'm still the company, right? At the end, you're the company and you work for this company. You’ve got to talk good about the company that you work for everywhere you go. You have to go back and say, "Yes ma'am, let's go ahead and verify what the issue is, and I'd be more than glad to help you out with whatever. Let me exhaust my help. Let me see the most I can do for you. Even if I have to talk to my supervisor and you need to talk to him, but it has to be fixed." That's how it is.Anita:You also told me yesterday about the ways in which you have this kind of network of people who all moved, spread news.Beto:Yes. At a call center you turn out to be friends with everybody. For example, I left a lot of friends at some other call centers. If I move on for better pay, we just move to another call center and verify if they actually pay good. I have friends that we manage to, we actually call each other, "You know what? I'm here at this call center. They're paying, I don't know, 3,500 3,200 why don't you come over?" That’s like, "Okay wait, but don't come yet. Let me just get my first paycheck, and I'll let you know if it's true." So it’s like, "Okay, let me know." I have to wait. I’ve even waited 15 days or if he just got in, for example, on the 5th of a specific month, I have to wait because they don't get paid exactly on the 15th. They would probably get paid on the 31st, and I’d have to wait a whole month waiting for him to show me his paycheck.Beto:"You know what? Yes, it is true. They're paying this much." Then I have to go, "Hey sir, I've got to go." "Why are you going? Why are you leaving?" "Well, I found a better place." Most likely they don't retain you, they don't try to keep you because this is a very rotating place. You rotate time to time. That's how we communicate through this networking as you call it. "I'm here, I'm at TeleTech, come here, there's a brand-new account and they're going to be paying good." That's how we travel around.Anita:Let's say you’re in TeleTech or you're in one place and some place opens and it's a new account that pays better. What happens to the old account? Everybody leaves and then what?Beto:Most likely everybody leaves. It's like somebody is crying wolf. "Let's go," and eventually they all leave. I mean they say, "I'm sorry" but I don't know what exactly happens. I've seen companies that, for example, there was a brand-new place, an AT&T. As soon as they opened, everybody took off. The call center got empty.Anita:The other call center?Beto:The other call center was empty. They started setting up advertisements everywhere. "Hey, we need people, we need people." But that's how it is. That's basically what we want is really, we're trying to get a place with stability and a good pay.Anita:Do the other call centers raise their pay?Beto:Not the call center, there are accounts that pay good.Anita:But the ones that lose when everybody runs off to AT&T and leaves their other jobs. Do the other call centers sometimes increase their pay to retain?Beto:No. No. I guess we talk about it. You asked me about what happens to the new immigrants that come here. They're the ones that come on to take our place because they don't know what's going on. They just, "Oh, a call center. I'm going to get 2000 pesos, I don't know, every two weeks." It's good because they are new immigrants. Even if we know about it, and they become our friends for a little while before we move on to the other call center. We let them know, "You know what? Why don't you come with us?" But they're afraid. "No, I need to get experience." As soon as they get experience, "What was I thinking? What happened in my head that I was stuck right here?" That's what they do, and then they call us up. "Hey, do you think they're still hiring?" "Yes. Come over."Anita:Roughly what percentage of the people in the call centers lived in the States, and what percentage are Mexican would you say?Beto:Okay, I will tell you in my head that 25% are from Mexico, 75% are immigrants. People nowadays, from here, start learning English. It is becoming very popular to learn English. I've seen people from here that don't need to work. They actually just try to improve their English, and they get into a call center.Anita:As a way of improving their English?Beto:Exactly. Not to get money. Well, they actually are taking advantage of it because they're getting money, and they're learning English. That's the 25%. Some of them, because they're in school, they learned it maybe by playing games. When we're in training and we have to actually introduce ourselves, I'm amazed that they learned English playing games online or by watching movies. I was like, it took me a lot in the States to learn English because I was just listening to English. But it took me a little while and they're just like, "Oh I learned it by watching, I don't know, Finding Nemo and Toy Story.” I'm laughing at all of it, "Yeah you did. Yes." We've had this guy introducing himself, he actually knew the Toy Story song and I was like, "Yes, you did learn English with Toy Story." That's the 25%. Some of them, they do need it because they're actually in school here, they study they're actually just trying to keep on learning and move on.Anita:What's the relationship between the two groups? Is there like a solidarity between the returning immigrants and then the Mexicans?Beto:We're together. We're actually together. We become very good friends because this is what happens when they learn English, they get to learn the culture. They get to learn the American culture by all these games, by watching the movies. We can have a conversation. If someone here does not have the same ideas, we don't actually have this problem. Some of them ask us, "Hey, you've been in the States, how is this? How is that? You've been to Disneyland?" "Yes." "Mickey mouse is big?" But that's simple stuff. They don't ask much. I'll give you another example. I had a friend that didn't know, "Hey, what is a money order?" "That's like a voucher. We don't have these here." “Oh, that's a money order.”Anita:A money order?Beto:A money order. Yes. "I don't know what's a money order." "Okay. That's a voucher. You go to the liquor store, you go to the store, you ask for certain amount and then they put some numbers, and that's money." "Really? How come we don't have this here?" "Here I don't think that’s going to be a good idea." They don't know those things because they've never been there. But that's certain little things.Anita:That's really interesting because a lot of other people talk about the discrimination that they face here for speaking English.Beto:Right.Anita:It looks like things are a little different in a call center. It's like an oasis maybe.Beto:Right. Because they get involved with us. They want to know. They are a very curious people that already learned or are trying to learn the language. “We're planning to go to Olive Garden, we're planning to go to Chili's, but that's very expensive. But, I mean, we like Chili's. We want to go Olive Garden. Let's go.” Just for being curious, they learn. There are a lot of Olive Gardens. We have Wendy's here in Reforma. We’ve been there and they're surprised, like, "Is this in the States?" "Yes, it is in the States." Beautiful burgers, so you want to try them out. That's basically what, we don't have this discrimination in between people who want to learn the culture and the stores because most people here are not very curious about it. Most of them, I should say. There's very few people that learn.Anita:This is a sort of mini little group who are actually interested.Beto:Right. College guys, university guys. Here we have a name for the guys that just live with their parents and they don't work. We call them Ninis [00:26:06]. They also are the ones that learn English a lot because they don't do anything at home but watch movies, play games. But they're very curious. They get to be very curious too.Anita:They don't discriminate against you.Beto:No, not really. No. They actually want to know more. They stick with you. They stick with you and we learn from them because we actually don't know where a place is. "Hey, we want to try another thing" especially food or restaurants or maybe a bar. " Oh, you've never been to this place?" "We don't even know where it is,” “Let's go." We learn from them too. "Oh this is a nice one, I've never been here." We actually get together, and they learn, we learn, and at the end we become very good friends and that's when we become the network. "Get over here, what are you're doing there? You're getting little money. Come with us. Here's better now."

      Return to Mexico, Jobs, Call Centers

    1. Anne: Yeah.Ben: Them shelters can't possibly hold all them people, they can't. And so, all these people running around—they're running around the monument right now—laying there around. I see them laying around, the same people laying on the streets. But here in Mexico City, it's not that bad. You go to the border and the border cities where all along the Texas border, those are main dumping grounds for ICE [Immigration and Customs Enforcement]. All these border detentions that are on the border states, they're daily buses are driving and dumping people off. Detentions from up north, they wait until they fill up a plane, or planes, then they ship them. But here, they catch. It's every day they're dumping people. And there’s gotta be something done about that. I think that there's assistance for just about any and everything else. I do think that it would be in the best interest of the government to assist deportees that are coming back. It would probably save them a lot of money—it'd probably save them more to get them home and give them a little bit of cash, give them a bus ticket home to where they're from, and it would be a lot less expensive than all the chaos that's going on right now.Anne: Seems that the US also has really ignored the whole problem, the families that they're breaking up.Ben: Yeah.Anne: You've thought about that, in terms of US policy, ways that they can eliminate the hardship that your family is going through because you're here?Ben: Yeah.Anne: I mean not just the financial, emotional but everything. And it seems like it’s not even in the equation.Ben: Yes, that's true, that's not even in the equation. [Pause]. That's tough. But yes, I think [Pause] that [Pause] they're not looking at individual cases when looking at this immigration issue. I mean if they really, if the immigration person were really doing their job, then the judge did his job and really take the time to look at each individual case, some of these separations wouldn't happen. But they're not doing that, to me they're just trying to pile up numbers. I know many a case where…Just an example, one gentleman, taking care of his family, has residency, he's a legal resident. One DWI and it's over with, he's gone.Anne: He's a legal resident?Ben: A legal resident. One DWI and that's it, he's gone. And I've known of others that had up to three and they're still there. I know some that have felonies and they're still there. Then one DWI, that's not being fair. The biggest injustice I think is going after all these Dreamers and using the information that they filled out on their DACA paperwork to go track them down. I agree that there has to be some type of people should be picked up, but they're not chasing those people. They're going for the easy numbers because, you know what? Those guys they don't have paperwork where they can go pick them up, they’re not going to school here, going there. It's harder to catch them, so you know what? We can drum up 10-15,000 people right here, beef our numbers up. We got the addresses, let's just go get them.Ben: And that's kind of what they're doing, not really doing their job. Just to say that “We're doing something.” With 9/11, I remember that they, within the first few days, 20 something hundred arrests that they were attributing as terrorist arrests. But you know who they were picking up? They were picking up Mexicans most of them. It was not 20 something hundred Middle Easterners. But regardless, they were numbers. They had to show that they were doing something. But that's that [Chuckles].Ben: The US, there's a lot that they could be doing, because they can deport 100,000, but they know they gotta replace those 100,000 for the workforce. One thing I know is I know the ins and outs of labor in the US. That is one thing that I do know. And I do know that there's unwritten policies that look the other way, look the other way while we get this done. We need this done, look the other way. Hurricane Katrina was one, we had immigration, immigration was about the only police patrolling the area at the time and they weren't bothering anybody—it was hands off until they get this cleaned up. And once all the toxic clean-up was out of the way, then they started to enforce, but still not full force again.Ben: So, there's a lot to the government, part to blame there. Instead of locking them up, they should really create some type of labor program.Anne: People can come and go.Ben: People can come, instead of coming across and, to me, instead of somebody going to work over there and pay $6,000 to a coyote, they could pay $1,500 at a processing center to apply and get placed in a job by the US government legally. But you know what? US government don't wanna do that, because they want to keep them costs down. And so, does private business, they need to keep them costs down. It's like, would you like to pay $30 for a Big Mac? [Laughs].Anne: You’re saying that McDonald's is just using a lot of undocumented and paying them really?Ben: Well the whole concept of migrant labor, the migrant labor force, is to keep the cost of products down and housing as well. If it wasn't for migrant labor and this underground labor networks that are operating, a $250,000 house would've probably cost you a million. And a lot of people wouldn't be able to, a lot of people can't afford a $200,000 house [Chuckles].Anne: No. Well I thank you very much.Ben: Thank you all for coming, coming to help us out and spread the news.Anne: You’ve probably been asked this question, but do you consider yourself an American? A Mexican?Ben: You know, honestly deep inside, American. That's how I've always felt. But right now, after this happened, it's like have you ever, there was a book called The Man with No Country, are you familiar with that?Anne: Yeah.Ben: That's, when I was deported, that's the first thing that, that's what came to my mind, The Man with No Country, not here, not there, not accepted here, not accepted over there. And when I got here it's like, no paperwork, no drivers, no identification, and I had a harder time getting a driver's license, getting my voter registration—which is the main source of ID here—the toughest time here then I did getting ID in the United States. And I was illegal in the United States and I was able to, anything I needed, I could get over there. And here, I'm here, I had a hard time. It took me a few months.Anne: It's really too bad.Ben: Yeah. Kind of rough. I don't know if it had been easier here, in the big city, but over there it was pretty rough, hard getting around.Anne: Well, I wish you the best of luck.Ben: Oh, thank you—Anne: I think that you're, you think you're going to be fine, so I think you're going to be fine. And you must be very proud of your family, they seem really great.Ben: Oh, I am, they're going, they're moving forward, that was the purpose of heading that way.

      Reflections

    2. Anne: I see.Ben: I mean it's a nice house. It's up in the mountains and I had a lot of family members, including my wife go, "Why are you leaving? Why are you going to Mexico City? You don't need to.” I go, "Well one I'm going, I want to be involved in helping these people. I gotta go out and do something, I know I can still do something, I need a job. I need a job, I need a real job.” Raising goats and sheep is fine and it was common people and stuff, but I'm a busy body and I need to do something.Ben: And then I became aware of New Comienzos and when I seen that, that's what I want to do. I want to go down there, I want to be involved in that. I want to be involved in that because that's something that I know I can help and contribute to. And at the same time, I can get me a job down there and I'll stay put. I'll come back and visit every now and then, but I'm a city person [Laughs].Anne: Yeah. So, did you fight the detention or no?Ben: No. When my first, I was detained when I was 19—well no, I got in trouble when I was 19, detained at 27. That time, I signed away, I didn't fight it. So, this time, I had no rights. I could not fight anymore because I'd already signed away. This time around, I probably would've fought it, because I had the money this time. Even if I knew I was going to lose, at least I knew I had the money for the bond and I could put it off two, three, four years. But, the first time I didn't have the money. So, I said, “Sit here two years and wait and then probably get deported? No.” Unfortunately, this time, I just, there was no rights that I could—Anne: And have your kids or your wife been to visit you?Ben: Yes, they have up there. Hopefully once I get settled here. My wife was supposed to come here in May, like around my birthday, which was the week before last. But when my son got this scholarship, well he said, "We gotta go,” so her and my daughter both drove him down to Orlando and they went to Disney, like we used to always go to Disney World. We would go at least twice a year. There was one year that I had two projects that ran over a year down there and I bought them season passes, because it was easier for them to fly down on the weekend and come see me. And when they come down, if you buy three individual park tickets, it's more expensive then the season pass.Anne: Yeah.Ben: But they're still keeping up the traditions [Laughs]. They're still going to Disney.Anne: And you spent a lot of time volunteering while you were in the states.Ben: Yes.Anne: So, it seems like, does that make it a good fit to try it here?Ben: Oh yes. Yes, it's voluntary here, it's a different theme here. It's a stronger, I feel it's a stronger theme. Not that my volunteer work back over there wasn't, but my volunteer… Like helping out at the school whenever I was in town, I would let them know that I would be in town and I was available to substitute if one of the teachers needed a break or was going to be missing. And I was qualified to take the classes on.Ben: But I also was a volunteer English teacher when they started, they started a Spanish church. When that Spanish church started, it was actually my father that was the preacher. My father was at another church, but when they wanted to do that, I talked to my father to see if he would, because they asked me to, but I was honest, I go, "You know I'm not that knowledgeable of the Bible, to be able to. I don't want to stumble over myself.” And you know when people are barely getting into a church and you say one thing but then you contradict yourself, you're going to destroy their faith.Anne: Don't want to do that.Ben: No. And I did a lot of volunteer work there at the church and the school. It was great. And they've been right by my family's side, they're still going to church there and anytime that they need anything, they're right there. But good thing …. they've been fine. My wife, she's got a pretty good job. She worked for a mortgage company, so she does pretty well. And my daughter helps out too now that she's making money. It's been a long ride. [Laughs].Anne: So, we hear a lot of stories about young men who come over as babies or toddlers and then for some reason get caught up in gangs or crime. What was different for you? Why do you think that never happened?Ben: Well, I can tell you that I think, probably the single most important thing, the most important thing in a person's life is environment. Parenting is important, but you can have the best parents in the world, but if you have them in a bad environment, your parenting is not going to supersede the environment. And that's one of the things that I focus with my wife is that—well my parents, they provided a good environment. And when I got married from my life experiences, I stepped that up a bit. I told a lot of other relatives, this is one thing I've told a lot of other relatives, this happens a lot in America—not just with Mexicans or Central Americans, Blacks or whatever—is a lot of people yell out racism or discrimination.Ben: And I sincerely believe that sometimes we discriminate ourselves, that we put it on ourselves, because we teach that to our children, because weekends we all want to go get together with other relatives, other friends of our own ethnicity. And that's not really what America's about and that's not what I taught my children because that's not how I lived my life. I was out with everybody, congregating with everybody, and that's the environment that we brought our children up in. We brought them up in their church—I was talking to you earlier, our church and the school that they went to was part of the church. We were the only Hispanics.Ben: But that doesn't mean that we didn't allow them or try to get them to forget who they were. We didn't, because we brought them around our relatives, but we let them see that environment and so that they felt comfortable. So, when they got out into the world, they're comfortable around anybody and they're not looking at colors or whatever. And they don't feel like they're different and they don't feel different. I honestly, I think I felt more different when I got back here [Laughs].Anne: Right.Ben: Because it was really kind of weird. But over there I didn't, but I think environment is one of the most important things. If you put a good person in a bad situation, in a bad environment, sooner or later he'll break. If you get a bad person that's never known what life is really supposed to be about, guide him a little bit and give him a little time, and if he's willing—Anne: It might work out.Ben: Yeah, it might work out.Anne: Interesting. So, you achieved your dreams in America.Ben: Oh yeah.Anne: Do you have dreams now for yourself here?Ben: Yeah. My dream here is, one, to help here and I can't say it's a goal that's going to be met. And the other is I'm going to have here what I had over there and I'm confident that I can make that happen.Anne: And will you make it through construction business, or will you make it through…?Ben: Right now, I think that there's other areas here that I could probably succeed in without jumping into the construction business. We have land back here (in the family home) and a buy little bit of cattle, make some money here. There’s just several different ideas. But I know that I can excel in a job here, because there's several people here that are making some pretty high incomes and just, some pretty much as telemarketers, but just there's some call centers with some good bonuses. You're not going to get rich there, but you can make a good living.Anne: Right.Ben: But there's some opportunities right now.

      Return to Mexico, Jobs, Community, Opportunity, Family Relationships, Feelings, Dreams; Reflections, Mexico, The United States

    3. Ben: Yes. Real nice life. And my children, they didn't know that I was illegal until it happened. And we had…Well there was a reason why we didn't want them knowing because children can tell others. And then also they just wouldn't understand. When they were a little bit older, like my son in junior high and my daughter barely starting high school, do you remember when Lou Dobbs went off on his rant? On CNN, when he started all that. When Lou Dobbs started ranting, it was like every day on TV, the other school children were talking about illegal ladies and this and this. And one day I got home and my wife, the kids were already in bed, and she told me, "You know what? Vanessa came up and asked me if any of our relatives were illegal aliens.” And I told her, "Probably about time we started explaining some things to her.” She goes, "No, with our relatives yes, but as far as you, no. You can't"Ben: So, we didn't. And it was just, once they did find out, I really don't know, I'm really not sure how they really feel. But it had to be—Anne: They didn't find out until you actually—Ben: Yes.Anne: And they're adults now? Or young adults?Ben: Yes. And my daughter, I know it had to move her because after my daughter, this is her graduating from Indiana University with honors, very decorated.Anne: Beautiful.Ben: Her major is paralegal studies. She's still studying, she wants a law degree.Anne: That's great.Ben: And she did her internship at the Marian County prosecutor’s office. She graduated and upon graduation—well before she even graduated—she had secured a job. She's got a job, she's got her first job, right now she's a paralegal for immigration family law.Anne: Oh wow. Wow.Ben: So, I guess it has something—Anne: Sure.Ben: My son, just barely last week he went to get settled. He was going to IUP [Indiana University of Pennsylvania] in Indianapolis, but he just got the Disney scholarship and it's a full scholarship, so room, board everything. And he just got settled last week in Orlando. So, he's going to be there for a little while.Anne: And what school does that go for?Ben: I'm not exactly sure, some university there in Orlando. I haven't had a lot of contact since…They were busy over there, when they were over there, I was busy heading this way.

      Time in the US, Immigration status, Being secretive, Family, Children

    4. Ben: But over twenty, 22-23 years.Anne: 23 years? And were you worried about getting deported those 23 years?Ben: Right after my daughter was born, yes, every day, the thought would cross my mind. I had many brushes with Immigration, as we're in the construction business. Many times, job sites would get raided and the only thing was just to keep cool and walk straight up to them. Don't walk away from them, if I seen them walking this way, I walked towards them instead of walking away from them. I walked towards them.Anne: So, they probably, you being the head guy, they didn't think of you as much—Ben: No, but during the raids I don't think they had any idea of who was the head guy or not.Anne: Oh.Ben: Because a lot of the times, a lot of these raids, I was all covered in drywall, compound, white compound all over me, almost like if you got paint all over me. But I just wouldn't…I would just walk right up to them. And there was another gentleman—this was amazing because he didn't speak English. And there was three times these raids that Immigration come up and you're talking about over 10-11 people just scatter. He would never run; he would stay put. And one time he was up on a scaffold and immigration officer, it was one vehicle pulls up front and just one officer, I knew that everybody else were all around in the back because there was a big old wall.Anne: Yeah.Ben: And so, he finally gets out and comes inside the house and he walks right past me and that happened a couple times where they would just walk right past me, didn't even acknowledge that I was even there, nothing. I go, "Is God making me invisible?" [Chuckle]. It really felt like that because this time he didn't even acknowledge me, just walked right past me. He didn't see me. Anyhow, he walks up to this other person, he's on the scaffold and he goes, "[Spanish 00:27:11] papels hombre?” and from up there he goes, "Yeah.” And pulls out his wallet, left him alone. Walked away.Ben: And it was three times with that one person. And then after that last time that I was with him that happened, he goes, "Look at that, they're taking all these poor guys that don't want to go. I want to go back, I want a free ride back. But they don't want to take me.” And I spoke to a cousin of his, it’s probably been about three years ago, and I asked him about him, and he says, "To this day, he don't have his residency, he never got his papers.” He's living in Atlanta now by the way, or he was when I talked to his cousin. His cousin goes, "He's in Atlanta, but to this day he never got his papers and he's never been deported.” And I go, "Some people are lucky and some are not".

      Time in the US, Immigration status, Feelings, Fear, Legal status

    5. Ben: The business started blossoming when we were in Texas. I had told my wife to give me…Within five years we'll have a house and we'll both have good vehicles, dependable vehicles, but it's going to take a while. Well within a year and a half from when I started, we bought out first house and we both had good, dependable vehicles. However, it was still tight when I took a project on in Akron, Ohio. And when I took that project on, I did not want to go up there for many reasons. One, because I had this immigration issue on me and I'm going near the Canadian border. Another, I didn't really want to be away from my family.Ben: But when these customers get persistent, "What's it going to take? What's it going to take?" And I said, "It's just out of the question. I can't go up there, I got all these jobs going on. Plus, I got bad equipment, my equipment’s old and if my equipment breaks down up there, I'm not going to be able to meet the schedules and we're all going to be in trouble.” "Is that it? Really?" The last price he had upped the price of what the contract was to pay, and the pay was fine. I had other reasons why I didn't want to go. Well when he says, "I'll throw in a brand-new texture machine on top of it, but I'll sign off on the paperwork after you complete the project.” And I go, "You'll do that?" "I'll do that and when have you known me to not keep my word?" And I go, "Done deal.”Ben: One of those texture machines, the price tag at that time was about $30,000. Right now, it's probably closer to $40,000 because we're talking about 1996. And he followed through, I came up to Akron, when I got up to Akron though, they had projects, there were projects everywhere, Kentucky, Michigan. And the pay, the pay was awesome. And that is where it really, within I think about the second month that I was up north, it just completely changed.Ben: But I hadn't seen my wife and children since I had taken off up there. So, I told her to come up there and visit and I started discuss with her. I go, "Look these other jobs,” and I had already said I was going to take them, but I didn't tell her that. I told her, she says, "What if you go to be traveling?" I go, "It's worth it to be traveling back and forth, but I'm not going to be traveling back and forth. We're going to just take the kids; we're going to move up here and we're going to be together".Ben: And so that's when I moved them to Indianapolis. We stationed in Indianapolis although I did travel quite a bit. I was on the road quite a bit because I had later ended up with jobs as far down as Orlando, Florida. And I ended up in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina to repair a bunch of apartments which we had worked on before. But it was a pretty wild ride, but we really were doing really well, and it was really amazing.

      Time in the US, Jobs/employment/work, Small business owner, Earnings, Careers, Construction; Time in the US, States, Texas, Indiana, Louisiana, Florida, Ohio

    1. So the YIMBY solution to the yuppie invasion isn't - or shouldn't be - just to build market-rate housing anywhere and everywhere. It's more like the following:A) Build market-rate housing that appeals specifically to yuppies, clustered in specific neighborhoods away from long-time working-class residential areas.B) Instead of tearing down existing housing to build market-rate housing, replace parking lots and warehouses and other inefficient commercial space with new market-rate housing.In other words, YIMBYism is about yuppie diversion. It uses market-rate housing to catch and divert yuppies before they can ever invade normal folks' neighborhoods.

      "Yuppie diversion" is a phrase that's gonna pop into my head forever more

    1. Melani: No. When I called my parents, they were like, "Do you recommend [coming back]?" My dad's been gone for twenty years. He's like, "Maybe because we've been gone for that long, maybe things have changed, especially with the new president." But I said, "No. Nothing has changed, and I don't even know how it was back then, but it's horrible now. So I think you should just stay.” [Sometimes] my dad tells me over the phone, "I've been gone for so long -- since I was nineteen -- that I feel like if I go back, I won't even feel like it's my home.” He's just so used to the culture there -- that's what he grew up with in his adult years.

      return to mexico, family relationships, those who stayed in the us

    2. Anita: I have one more reflection question. Some women who we have spoken to who, like you, were undocumented in the States end up in trouble. Some become young mothers as teenagers, some join gangs. If somebody asked you, "Why does this happen?" what would you say?Melani: I would say that a lot of Latinas, especially young Latinas have kids or [join] gangs. Latinos have that mentality that you have to get married very young and that women are just used for recreation, having a family -- not for anything else because we have that type of … it's a man's world here. It's not a woman's world. So if things back home were kind of tough for women, here it's a million times worse, because we're really oppressed and we still have rights, but you still aren't respected as a woman, and so many women just go the easy way, saying, "Well I'll get pregnant early and finish it off and just live the rest of my life with my kids and dedicate myself to them," or some women don't want to do that and they just say, "Well, I want money and I know I don't have opportunities because of the economy and all of the things that are happening in my background, so I guess I'll just join a gang and do all these things so I can have easy money and opportunities for other things."

      Mexico, gangs

    3. Anita: Family separation? Is that difficult?Melani: It's been hard because my parents are the only people I've known my whole life and they're my rocks, the people I go to for everything. So having them so distant has been really tough on me [Emotional]. I feel like I can't talk to my own grandparents because I don't have that trust and sometimes I just don't feel like there will ever be a connection since I've lost so many years of my life that I should have lived with them.

      family separation, sad

    4. Anita: I'm going to read you some things[from the survey] and you'll just tell me whether: ... finding a job, has that been difficult?Melani: It's been very difficult.Anita: Other economic challenges?Melani: Yes. My parents don't send me any money right now, since they're dealing with their own problems and I don't ask for anything, I feel like it's more of a struggle. I see my own grandparents struggling and I feel like I have to support them. I would always wonder when I was younger -- I'd be like, "Why do Hispanics all live together? Like grandparents, kids, grandkids?” But I understand now. It's not because they want to, it's because of economic reasons, because if you get seven thousand pesos, which is like three hundred dollars a month, you really can't afford anything, and when the houses here are over three to six million pesos, which is like six hundred thousand dollars, you can't really afford to live anywhere.

      challenges economic opportunity, family

    5. Anita: So even though you were working in an immigration coalition that helped people apply for DACA, you didn't apply for it?Melani: I never applied for it. I even went to an attorney and they told me it's better if you go to Mexico before you’re eighteen—I mean after you're eighteen or before. After you're eighteen, you had to wait 180 days—I mean you have to not exceed 180 days—so you can be able to apply and not have that ten-year sentence of not being able to apply for a US visa.My mom would say, " you know what? It's better if you just go back to Mexico and go to a Mexican university and we'll support you from here, from the States."I came alone. I came a month ago. I told my mom, "I don't want to leave. I want to stay here [in the US]," because in my heart I felt like the government would do something for the DREAMers. In my heart I felt that, but my mom said, "You're just wasting your time. You need to leave, because even if they do something for DREAMers, it will take a lot of time to implement that law, and you would lose maybe one or two years of college -- you can come back and visit us," and I said, "Well, you're right."I applied to Mexican universities, but they told me I would have to restart my high school and that my ACT and my SAT weren't accepted. I would have to do their admissions tests, but they have a lot of requirements that aren't requirements back home, and so I decided to apply to other countries. I applied to Australia and New Zealand and Canada, and I got in all three of them in various universities. And I chose Canada since Australia and New Zealand are way too far away from Mexico City—it's like thirty-six hours.And I said well it's better if I go to Canada since it will be five hours away and I could come on vacation, and I applied. I got into four universities in Canada and I got scholarships from them.I chose one in Vancouver—Douglas College first, and I got a full scholarship from there. So I chose it and I went there three weeks ago. So, I came here [from US to Mexico] a month and a week ago—to Mexico City. The first week I stayed with my dad's side of the family.The next week I went to Vancouver to visit my school, and I also found out that in Vancouver if you study four years in a Canadian university, you can get your citizenship in the sixth year. And I thought that was a great opportunity, and when I went there, I felt like it was more immigrant friendly since all of them were Asian. Well, there's a lot of Asian influence -- Asian, Muslim, all types of cultures, a lot of Hispanics, and I felt like they were more welcoming and multicultural than back home.

      education, DACA, college

    6. Melani: [Pause] I'd be frightened and I mean—I just didn't like that life. I guess that's why I chose to come back here. But sometimes I question if coming back here was the best choice or not.Anita: let’s pause the survey and talk—Melani: I guess it’s because ... it's not home and people have a different culture and different ways of thinking and there's just so many differences. And when I came here it's just such a culture shock and I knew I should adapt, but it's really hard because of the culture and the mindset, which is more conservative. Back home it was more liberal and more accepting of women and different ways of doing stuff - it wasn't church oriented all the time [Affirmative sound].Anita: Yeah. So, you said “back home.” “Back home” for you is the US?Melani: Yes.Anita: You consider the US your home?Melani: Yes, I consider it home.

      reflections, return to Mexico, culture

    1. Revisiting this essay to review it in the framing of digital gardens.

      In a "gardens and streams" version of this metaphor, the stream is flow and the garden is stock.

      This also fits into a knowledge capture, growth, and innovation framing. The stream are small atomic ideas flowing by which may create new atomic ideas. These then need to be collected (in a garden) where they can be nurtured and grow into new things.

      Clippings of these new growth can be placed back into the stream to move on to other gardeners. Clever gardeners will also occasionally browse through the gardens of others to see bigger picture versions of how their gardens might become.

      Proper commonplacing is about both stock and flow. The unwritten rule is that one needs to link together ideas and expand them in places either within the commonplace or external to it: essays, papers, articles, books, or other larger structures which then become stock for others.

      While some creators appear to be about all stock in the modern era, it's just not true. They're consuming streams (flow) from other (perhaps richer) sources (like articles, books, television rather than social media) and building up their own stock in more private (or at least not public) places. Then they release that article, book, film, television show which becomes content stream for others.

      While we can choose to create public streams, but spending our time in other less information dense steams is less useful. Better is to keep a reasonably curated stream to see which other gardens to go visit.

      Currently is the online media space we have structures like microblogs and blogs (and most social media in general) which are reasonably good at creating streams (flow) and blogs, static sites, and wikis which are good for creating gardens (stock).

      What we're missing is a structure with the appropriate and attendant UI that can help us create both a garden and a stream simultaneously. It would be nice to have a wiki with a steam-like feed out for the smaller attendant ideas, but still allow the evolutionary building of bigger structures, which could also be placed into the stream at occasional times.

      I can imagine something like a MediaWiki with UI for placing small note-like ideas into other streams like Twitter, but which supports Webmention so that ideas that come back from Twitter or other consumers of one's stream can be placed into one's garden. Perhaps in a Zettelkasten like way, one could collect atomic notes into their wiki and then transclude those ideas into larger paragraphs and essays within the same wiki on other pages which might then become articles, books, videos, audio, etc.

      Obsidian, Roam Research do a somewhat reasonable job on the private side and have some facility for collecting data, but have no UI for sharing out into streams.

    1. Pablo: Yeah. I remember that this lady, the one that took me over there, she just told me to go to sleep so I wouldn't have to talk or anything. And I was like, "Okay." It wasn't hard for me to go to sleep, so I just fell asleep. And when I woke up, I was over there, everything was so different. So I was surprised... I don't know. I felt good.Isabel: What was different?Pablo: I mean, you can see everything... It was just… the city was just more clean, or I don't know, it's just a lot of different stuff. The stores and buildings and everything was just different.

      border crossing, US, first impressions

    1. As time goes on, it’s getting easier to get a COVID-19 vaccine—in many places in L.A. County you can now just walk up to a vaccine site without an appointment. Millions of Californians have already gotten their Fauci Ouchie, but it’s also okay to have questions about the vaccine. Do you ever wonder if vaccines are safe and effective? This very question came up when we last talked to Kenneth Phillips—if you haven’t listened to his episode about contact tracing yet, be sure to check it out. Ken recommended that we talk to Shira Shafir (@IDPhD), a professor and infectious disease epidemiologist at the UCLA Fielding School of Public Health. She’s also working with the L.A. County Department of Public Health to help train contact tracers. She answered all our questions about the vaccines, from how scientists and doctors know they’re safe to when we might be able to start vaccinating younger kids.
  7. researching-wicked-problems.press.plymouth.edu researching-wicked-problems.press.plymouth.edu
    1. Myth

      This is one I'm going to need to grapple with. On research assignments, I often tell students I can tell whether they worked with library sources or just Googled it. I agree that it's a myth and that the general internet has lots of quality stuff, but I feel like there's a bit of "training wheels" needed to wean them off googling everything.

    1. George Carlin’s file folders These filing systems are all analog examples, but one of my heroes, George Carlin, embraced an analog/digital system: I take a lot of single-page notes, little memo pad notes. I make a lot of notes on those things. For when I’m not near a little memo pad, I have a digital recorder… When I harvest the pieces of paper and I go through them and sort them, the one lucky thing I got in my genetic package was a great methodical left brain. I have a very orderly mind that wants to classify and index things and label them and store them according to that. I had a boss in radio when I was 18 years old, and my boss told me to write down every idea I get even if I can’t use it at the time, and then file it away and have a system for filing it away—because a good idea is of no use to you unless you can find it….[In my filing system there are files for all kinds of subjects] but then there are subfiles. Everything has subfiles….It’s like nested boxes, like the Russian dolls—it’s just folders within folders within folders. But I know how to navigate it very well, and I’m a Macintosh a guy and so Spotlight helps me a lot. I just get on Spotlight and say, let’s see, if I say “asshole” and “minister,” I then can find what I want find. “A lot of this,” Carlin said, “is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that’s our job is to just notice them and bring them to life.”

      George Carlin's file system for jokes and ideas.

    1. Many: Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to live like that because my dream, when I crossed the border, was have a good life, try to change my life. But after that, I didn't regret it but I think would be better if I would stay in Mexico because, I don't know how I explain to you, the reason that I crossed the border, I was trying to change something in my life. Something that I don't have when I was here in Mexico, but when I went to San Antonio, what I found it was just... How you call it? How do you say? It was not what I want. I lost my family, I've lost a few years of my life.

      feelings, regret, isolation; reflections, the United States, worst parts of US, dreams; family

    2. Many: One day, I went back home, and her cousin tell me, "You know what? I don't want to tell you this, but your wife is with this guy in his house because we saw the car.” They saw the car at this guy's house. I got mad and got sad because I can't... That happened because I never have time to solve the problem. After that, I went to this guy's house and I pulled up my truck and started kicking the doors because I know she was in there because her car was on that place. So, I started kicking doors and everything. When I break into the house, I saw them, those guys on the bed. So it was kind of a shock for me to see something like that. I was thinking to just go away and not doing nothing, that happened in my mind, that person in my mind. But then when I see this guy is laughing in front of me, I don't know, it made me mad. It made me so mad. So I started hurting him. I started fighting with him. After that, she jumped on me too. She started hitting me too, and I was fighting with her and then with him at the same time.Many: Every time when she was pulling my hair or when she was slapping me, I was feeling like this relationship is just… I mean, it's over. It's done. We're never going to fix something like this. I can do nothing to fix this right now. By that point, I can't. What happened, I just leave them and I walk away. Like I was telling you, as soon as I closed the door, police was there just waiting for me outside. So I started talking with one of the police officer and we were just having a good conversation because I explained to them the situation. My wife, she was cheating on me. Well, the thing is the police officer can't help. They had to take me to jail because I committed crimes. I went to jail

      Time in the US, arrests, police: US; time in the US, relationships, break-ups; time in the US, family, divorce

    3. Anne: Did you ever get in trouble with like gangs or anything like that?Many: No. Actually, (where we lived) it's a nice small town where it's not too much violence there. It's not too many people. So, no, I never related with gangs and everything because I was too young when I got married, so I didn't have time. I knew people they were related with these kind of gangs and groups, but I just talk to them for a little bit and then that's it. I never get into a gang or something. I like tattoos. You can see. I love tattoos because I like to draw a lot. I like tattoo too.Anne: You can do it yourself?Many: Yeah, some of them. Yes ma'am.

      Time in the US, gangs, resisting affiliation; time in the US, tattoos, meaning; Time in the US, pastimes, art, painting/sculpture/drawing

    1. “Don’t get me wrong” is usually a tell — a kind of backpedaling that sets off an internal alarm and suggests I’m a) reading a hyperbolic argument (which, admittedly, describes the majority of online writing these days) or b) that the writer is just lazy.

      It's a conversational way of beginning a paragraph that acknowledges limits to an argument!

    1. But you know what? Screw it. I need to take my time and develop the necessary ideas properly. If these thoughts never develop in such a way that I can turn them into a book, so be it. If they do so develop and nobody wants to publish it, so be it. (I’ll just make various digital versions.) The point, at this stage in my career, after fifteen published books, is not the publication, it’s the thinking. So let the thinking, in public, commence.

      Some interesting thoughts about thinking and writing in public.

  8. Jun 2021
    1. They are artifacts of a very particular circumstance, and it’s unlikely that in an alternate timeline they would have been designed the same way.

      I've mentioned before that the era we're currently living in is incredibly different from the era of just 10–15 years ago. I've called the era of yesterdecade (where the author of this piece appeared on Colbert a ~week or so after Firefox 3 was released and implored the audience to go download it and start using it) the "Shirky era", since Shirky's Here Comes Everybody really captures the spirit of the times.

      The current era of Twitter-and-GitHub has a distinct feel. At least, I can certainly feel it, as someone who's opted to remain an outsider to the T and G spheres. There's some evidence that those who haven't aren't really able to see the distinction, being too close to the problem. Young people, of course, who don't really have any memories of the era to draw upon, probably aren't able to perceive the distinction as a rule.

      I've also been listening to a lot of "old" podcasts—those of the Shirky era. If ever there were a question of whether the perceived distinction is real or imagined these podcasts—particularly shows Jon Udell was involved with, which I have been enjoying immensely—eliminate any doubts about its existence. There's an identifiable feel when I go back and listen to these shows or watch technical talks from the same time period. We're definitely experiencing a lowpoint in technical visions. As I alluded to earlier, I think this has to do with a technofetishistic focus on certain development practices and software stacks that are popular right now—"the way" that you do things. Wikis have largely fallen by the wayside, bugtrackers are disused, and people are pursuing busywork on GitHub and self-promoting on social media to the detriment of the things envisioned in the Shirky era.

    1. I was working in a call center at that time and mostly for returnees, it's mostly that. Work in a call center and that's it. You're good. But to be honest, it's pretty horrible. It sucks working in one of those places because you're basically one of those, they call them pochos, you're basically one of those kids that, it's not Mexican, it's not a U.S. citizen. So, you're kind of in the middle and no one kind of knows how to treat you. So it's weird. And I was just down there smoking, thinking, "Hey, is this going to be my whole life? Am I going to keep working in this kind of stuff?"

      return to mexico, jons, call centers, community, dead end; reflections, identity

    2. Anita: Do you like life right now?Luis: I like it so far. I mean it's not quite there, but it's not quite here either. I don't know if that makes much sense. I know things can never go back the way they used to be, and I know that things are always changing, but I think I just have to accept it and I just have to get over it.

      return to mexico, challenges

    3. Luis: She greeted me in one of those horrible, no-one-knows-the-name-of- cities of Durango, so we just bought some tickets and we went into Mexico City. I remember at the time that I saw her, she just started crying because she said, “Look at how big you are. You look so handsome." And I was like this. I didn't know what to say. She started crying and she said, "I'm so sorry that he had to die for us to get back together. I'm sorry that my father had to die. I'm so sorry." But that was it. That was pretty much it. That's the story of how I got back in here and it's just that knowing that I'm never going to have the chance of saying sorry I—

      family, family reunification, parents, grandparents, grief

    4. Luis: He was seventy-two when he got the cancer diagnosis. It was just, I don't know, I just feel so much regret for the last time that I saw him. I told him that I fucking hated him: "I hate your fucking guts because you kept on smoking and you knew that it was bad for you, but you kept on doing it. You didn't give a shit about me because you knew that I was… Now you know that I'm going to be alone and you didn't give a fuck. So, you kept doing it, so fuck you man." And that's the last thing that I told him. I told him to fuck himself.Luis: That's my biggest regret because he was my friend more than my dad. He was my friend. He was my best friend so I don't know, it's just, that's the last thing that I told him. And I was out with a few friends on my house. He was alone, of course, and we were drinking. I knew that I shouldn't be drinking but, you know, stupid things that kids do and stuff like that. So one of my pals came back and he said, "Hey man, so my mom told me that your pa is going to die tonight. That’s what the doctor told me.” So I just, I didn't go to the hospital. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to see him like that.

      time in the us, family, grandparents, illness, cancer; feelings, regret, grief, sadness

    5. Luis: So, it was May when they told him that he was going to die. They said, "You got three months tops man, you already have cancer in your brain so you're going to die. I'm sorry but you're going to die." And when I heard that, just… Sorry, I just start shaking whenever I remember. And I don't know, he just started making preparations for when he was not here for me.Luis: He said, "You have to find a job. Do you want to go back to your mom?" And I was like, "I don't want you to die. Why the fuck are you doing this to me?" I'm sorry, but just I was so angry at him because he always smoked. He was a smoker, he was a fucking chimney. The guy was a chimney. My grandma used to be a chimney too but [pause] him leaving me alone in there was the worst thing that could happen to me. Because I didn't know how to live by myself. I was sixteen. I didn't know what the hell was going to happen to me. So, the last time that I saw him, I saw him in his hospital bed, he said, "It's better for me to stay here. You're not going to take care of me. I don't want you taking care of me. I want to go through this alone. Okay? So I want you to keep going to school, keep doing your stuff."

      time in the US, family, grandparents, illness, cancer; feelings, sadness, isolation, grief, tragedy