How to Talk to ANYONE (Once You Know Their Color!)
Video summary:
- Core idea: People default to one of four communication “colors” and connect best when adapting to the other person’s style.
- The four colors: Red (power/results), Green (peace/stability), Blue (logic/structure), Yellow (fun/connection).
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Framework origin: Model popularized by Thomas Erikson’s “Surrounded by Idiots,” mapping to DISC-like styles via colors.
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Identify own color with 3 questions: 1) introverted (blue/green) vs extroverted (red/yellow); 2) logical (blue/red) vs emotional (green/yellow); 3) deliberate (green/blue) vs fast speaker (yellow/red); combine answers to narrow to one color.
- Everyone is a mix, but most have a dominant default; conflicts arise when speaking only in one’s own color.
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Matching styles creates instant rapport; mismatch leads to misjudgments (e.g., reds seen as abrasive by others, blues as nitpicky).
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How others may perceive each color:
- Red: pushy to greens, too serious to yellows, reckless with details to blues.
- Yellow: unfocused to reds, chaotic to greens, superficial to blues.
- Green: indecisive to reds, boring to yellows, non-committal to blues.
- Blue: too slow for reds, overly critical for yellows, nitpicky for greens.
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How to talk to each color:
- To Red: be direct, decisive, confident; use frameworks; focus on outcomes, not fluff.
- To Yellow: be enthusiastic and story-driven; keep it light and fun; don’t drown them in manuals.
- To Green: be calm, patient, supportive; move at a comfortable pace; avoid rushing change.
- To Blue: be precise, structured, factual; bring data and step-by-step plans; avoid exaggeration.
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Practical tip: Keep the 3 self-check questions visible during calls to rapidly gauge color and adjust delivery.
- Mindset shift: Don’t “change who you are”; expand range to “speak all four languages” to connect with 95% of people.
- Personal example: Vinh (Yellow) adapted to spouse (Red) by cutting fluff, adding clarity and speed to avoid overwhelm.
- Goal: Become dynamic “like water,” meeting people where they are without losing identity; communication skill lifts every area of life.