NEVERTHELESS, I’VE LEARNED THAT FINDING AND NURTURING A COMMUNITY IS A CHEAT CODE FOR MORE HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT.

“Culture eats strategy for breakfast.”

Netiquette describes the rules of acceptable ways of communicating online. Just as there is etiquette in person (not standing too close, speaking too loudly, or interrupting), there are rules for polite behavior in an online setting. Be respectful. There are real people with real feelings reading your comments.  Use your online nonverbal communication carefully. Be aware of too many emojis, all caps, or exclamation points – for some, this feels as though you are yelling.Be careful with humor or sarcasm as it may not translate online.  Consider the impression you are making with every post. Who are you online? Remember, grammar and spelling matter.  Don’t post inappropriate material.  Don’t post something that is too long. Respect other people’s time.Keep disagreement healthy. Some conversations are better in person. You can agree to disagree.  Respect your own privacy. Don’t post anything too personal.  When in doubt, stick to rules of conduct you follow in real life.Enjoy the experience of connecting with people all over the world. It’s an opportunity and blessing—as long as you use it this way.

We are wisest when we work to the best of our ability and set a good example for others to follow, always trying to work well with others and encourage them to do their best.

When given everyday responsibilities, children receive good training and opportunities for development. At the same time, the children help us. When our children share in the appearance and organization of our homes, they become more interested in them.

When children know that certain tasks are theirs and will not be done by anyone else, they will assume more responsibility for getting their work done.

We need to learn from others. Wise leaders will realize that they need to learn from other people who have good ideas and will invite suggestions from them. They will recognize that other people are important and help them feel that they are an important part of the organization or family.

Once we have delegated and fully explained to others their duties or assignments, we should then show our confidence in their ability by allowing them freedom to fulfill their responsibilities. We should, however, be available to answer their questions and give assistance as needed.

When we delegate responsibilities to others, we should tell them what we expect of them and explain their duties fully.

When we delegate, we authorize others to represent us. We give them power and authority to act for us.

The success or effectiveness of psychotherapy relies on your willingness to be open to the process and be honest about what you’re feeling. It also depends on the dynamics of the patient-therapist relationship.

Talk therapy, also known as psychotherapy, is what mental health professionals use to communicate with their patients. The purpose of talk therapy is to help identify issues causing emotional distress.

Therapy speak can prevent the person from clearly and correctly understanding their situation or relationship.[12] Labeling a person or situation with psychology jargon may stop people from exploring any of the nuances or complexities.[4][12][17] For example, someone may say that a person is toxic, when it would be more productive to understand how they have been hurt by this person, or even whether they have been hurt.[12] Additionally, it may disempower people and reduce their psychological resilience by causing them to believe that minor or ordinary unpleasant feelings are symptoms of psychological disorders.[8][24] This can make managing the situation seem more difficult and can produce an identity around being mentally ill.[8]

Like other forms of pop psychology,[15] therapy speak can result in miscommunication.[18][16] When people use the same word to mean different things, they may have difficulty understanding each other.[3] For example, someone might talk about trauma bonding, thinking that it's the emotional bond between survivors of a shared experience; the actual meaning is the emotional attachment of abuse victims to their abusers.[12][19] Using the word to refer to a relationship between abuse survivors will confuse people who believe it refers to an abuser–victim relationship, and vice versa. Therapists may deal with this by asking the speaker to define the word or explain it in more detail.[3][12][14] It also impairs communication by substituting a superficial judgement for clear communication.[19]

Among people who are dating, using therapy speak may be an attempt to signal that the speaker is emotionally mature or financially stable.[19] Talking about psychotherapy during a first date may increase the likelihood of a second date.[21]

Therapy speak is sometimes used by "deeply insecure" people to mask their discomfort, avoid conflict, or to create distance in a relationship.[3][16][8] Instead of saying something clear, like "I don't want to be friends any longer", they may use therapy speak and instead say something vague like "I don't have the emotional capacity for a relationship".[3][6] It may be used as a defence mechanism to put emotional distance between them, their feelings, and the situation.[5] They may be hoping that using therapy speak will elicit more sympathy, or at least tamp down overt criticism of themselves.[6] Because it can distance the speaker from culpability for what they say and do, it has been compared to the jargon used in businesses in human resource policies and similarly formal corporate communications to employees.[2][15]

People use therapy speak because it makes themselves or their emotions sound more important or superior.[3][17] In this sense, the use of therapy speak may be no different from academese, which is jargon needlessly used by university professors and other academics to make themselves sound educated.[18] This can come across as the speaker being condescending and unkind.[15] Therapy speak may be used in other ways to claim social status, e.g., by engaging in conspicuous consumption under the guise of self-care.[16]

Therapy speak is the incorrect use of jargon from psychology, especially jargon related to psychotherapy and mental health.[1] It tends to be linguistically prescriptive and formal in tone.[2] Therapy speak is related to psychobabble and buzzwords.[3][4][5] It is vulnerable to miscommunication and relationship damage as a result of the speaker not fully understanding the terms they are using, as well as using the words in a weaponized or abusive manner.[4][6] Therapy speak is not generally used by therapists during psychotherapy sessions.

According to psychotherapist Esther Perel, "[in therapy speech], there is such an emphasis on the ‘self-care’ aspect of it that is actually making us more isolated and more alone, because the focus is just on the self".[21] Therapists find that using therapy speak can prevent people from being open and vulnerable with each other.[7] It may be used in an attempt to define the other person's lived experiences.[3] It is frequently used in ways that elevate a one-sided view of a relationship or situation.[9]

Making an effective apology:Take responsibility. Apologies start with being willing to change your behavior. Recognize your actions caused a problem for the other person. Explain—if it is appropriate. Perhaps you had a bad day and took it out on someone. You may choose to disclose as part of your apology, but be careful not to justify your behavior. This negates the apology.   Show regret. The other person needs to see that you are aware that what you did was wrong. “I shouldn’t have done that.” Repair damage—or at least try. “What can I do to make this up to you?”Consider timing. Apologize as soon as possible to avoid lasting hurt feelings and begin repairing the relationship; however, it is also important to consider the best time for the person who has been offended. A crowded room or when that person is tired and wants to “just get it over with” wouldn’t be as thoughtful as waiting for the right time. Choose the best channel. Face-to-face apologies can be very effective because the message is clear and you can receive information. Letters, emails, voicemails, or texts may be easier for the apologizer, but it usually is not as emotionally effective because the communication is one-sided initially. However, every situation is different and the best apology depends on the person, the time, and the needs of the individual as well as the culture from which each comes.

How to respond to constructive criticism: Seek information. Ask for specific examples. Accept “I saw you do this yesterday and also this morning,” not “You just always do that.” Paraphrase or repeat the accusation and ask if that is what he or she really meant. For example, “You said I did this all the time. Can you tell me what you mean by this and give me an example of when I did this?”Listen. Agree to what is true. “You are right. I did that this morning.” You can agree with their perception. “I never thought about it that way.”

Deciding whether to disclose:Do you trust this person with this information? How will he/she react when you are known more fully?What is the risk of sharing this information?What is the benefit of sharing this information?

Some interpersonal communication skills are directly linked to your intrapersonal communication. Your relationships with others are influenced by your self-communication. Self-disclosure: Should you share information about yourself with someone else? How will that influence the relationship? Approval-seeking: Do you need someone else’s approval to be happy?Responding to criticism:  Do you need to change? How does criticism make you feel?Apologizing: Have you done something wrong? Making a good impression: Are you intentionally working at how others see you?These interpersonal skills all start with a positive self-concept

Challenge Negative Self-talkYou don't have to give power to negative self-talk. All positive change begins with positive thinking. When you have "vultures" in your mind, get rid of them with reality testing, alternative explanations, perspective-checking, and goal-setting. Try reality testing. What is my evidence for and against my thinking?Are my thoughts true, or are they just my interpretations?Am I jumping to negative conclusions?How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?Look for alternative explanations.Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?What else could this mean?If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?Put it in perspective.Is this situation as bad as I am making it out to be?What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it?What is the best thing that could happen?What is most likely to happen?Is there anything good about this situation?Will this matter in five years?Use goal-directed thinking.Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals?What can I do that will help me solve the problem?Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time?

interpersonal communication and self-esteem cannot be separated. Your interpersonal communication is not the only factor that impact self-esteem, but interpersonal interactions are one of the most important factors in determining your self-esteem.

Self-esteem is largely about how you evaluate your limitations.

Your intrapersonal communication begins before you give structure to your ideas through verbal or nonverbal communication. You are constantly talking to yourself in your mind. Your brain sifts through memories, thoughts, and ideas. In this inner conversation, you plan what you are going to say, compute what you have heard or seen, and compare what you’ve experienced to what you are experiencing now. How you communicate with yourself affects all other communication.

the longest-running conversation you will have in your life: your intrapersonal communication or self-communication.

Intrapersonal communication is how you speak to yourself.

"Ultimately, man shouldnot ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who isasked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life byanswering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible."

Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom,and power. Security represents your sense of worth, your identity, your emotionalanchorage, your self-esteem, your basic personal strength or lack of it.Guidance means your source of direction in life. Encompassed by your map, yourinternal frame of reference that interprets for you what is happening out there, arestandards or principles or implicit criteria that govern moment-by-moment decision-making and doing.Wisdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of howthe various parts and principles apply and relate to each other. It embraces judgment,discernment, comprehension. It is a gestalt or oneness, an integrated wholeness.Power is the faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something.It is the vital energy to make choices and decisions. It also includes the capacity toovercome deeply embedded habits and to cultivate higher, more effective ones.

Remember the people involved.

Efficient management without effective leadership is, as one individual phrased it, "likestraightening deck chairs on the Titanic." No management success can compensate forfailure in leadership. But leadership is hard because we're often caught in a managementparadigm.

Management is a bottom-line focus: How can I best accomplish certain things?Leadership deals with the top line: What are the things I want to accomplish? In thewords of both Peter Drucker and Warren Bennis, "Management is doing things right;leadership is doing the right things." Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder ofsuccess; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.

We reactively live the scriptshanded to us by family, associates, other people's agendas, the pressures of circumstance-- scripts from our earlier years, from our training, our conditioning.These scripts come from people, not principles. And they rise out of our deepvulnerabilities, our deep dependency on others and our need for acceptance and love, forbelonging, for a sense of importance and worth, for a feeling that we matter.

It is here that we find two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. Wecan make a promise -- and keep it. Or we can set a goal -- and work to achieve it. As wemake and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an innerintegrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength toaccept more of the responsibility for our own lives. By making and keeping promises toourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods.The power to make and keep commitments to ourselves is the essence of developing thebasic habits of effectiveness. Knowledge, skill, and desire are all within our control. Wecan work on any one to improve the balance of the three. As the area of intersectionbecomes larger, we more deeply internalize the principles upon which the habits arebased and create the strength of character to move us in a balanced way towardincreasing effectiveness in our lives.

At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our ability to make and keep commitmentsand promises. The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity tothose commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity.

Whenwe pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the other."

Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It is important toimmediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that nextmoment and we are empowered again.

The problems we face fall in one of three areas: direct control (problems involving ourown behavior); indirect control (problems involving other people's behavior); or nocontrol (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past or situational realities). Theproactive approach puts the first step in the solution of all three kinds of problems withinour present Circle of Influence.Direct control problems are solved by working on our habits. They are obviously withinour Circle of Influence. These are the "Private Victories" of Habits 1, 2, and 3.Indirect control problems are solved by changing our methods of influence. These are the"Public Victories" of Habits 4, 5, and 6. I have personally identified over 30 separatemethods of human influence -- as separate as empathy is from confrontation, as separateas example is from persuasion. Most people have only three or four of these methods intheir repertoire, starting usually with reasoning, and, if that doesn't work, moving toflight or fight. How liberating it is to accept the idea that I can learn new methods ofhuman influence instead of constantly trying to use old ineffective methods to "shape up"someone else!No control problems involve taking the responsibility to change the line on the bottom onour face -- to smile, to genuinely and peacefully accept these problems and learn to livewith them, even though we don't like them. In this way, we do not empower theseproblems to control us. We share in the spirit embodied in the Alcoholics Anonymousprayer, "Lord, give me the courage to change the things which can and ought to bechanged, the serenity to accept the things which cannot be changed, and the wisdom toknow the difference."

But that's the difference between positive thinking and proactivity. We did face reality.We faced the reality of the current circumstance and of future projections. But we alsofaced the reality that we had the power to choose a positive response to thosecircumstances and projections. Not facing reality would have been to accept the idea thatwhat's happening in our environment had to determine us.

I am what I am today because of the choicesI made yesterday,"

"No one can hurt you without your consent."

Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.

There are actually three social maps -- three theories of determinism widely accepted,independently or in combination, to explain the nature of man. Genetic determinismbasically says your grandparents did it to you. That's why you have such a temper. Yourgrandparents had short tempers and it's in your DNA. It just goes through thegenerations and you inherited it. In addition, you're Irish, and that's the nature of Irishpeople.Psychic determinism basically says your parents did it to you. Your upbringing, yourchildhood experience essentially laid out your personal tendencies and your characterstructure. That's why you're afraid to be in front of a group. It's the way your parentsbrought you up. You feel terribly guilty if you make a mistake because you "remember"deep inside the emotional scripting when you were very vulnerable and tender anddependent. You "remember" the emotional punishment, the rejection, the comparisonwith somebody else when you didn't perform as well as expected.Environmental determinism basically says your boss is doing to you -- or your spouse, orthat bratty teenager, or your economic situation, or national policies. Someone orsomething in your environment is responsible for your situation

The reflection of the current social paradigm tells us we are largely determined byconditioning and conditions

The creative process is like compound interest.Every time you learn guitar, try photography, or start a YouTube channel, you're not. "switching". You're depositing transferable skills.Ideation, intuition, expression. They all stack.

There were once two freshman cadets who were assigned as roommates at the West Point Military Academy (the preeminent leader development institution of the United States Army). Over time, the two young cadets became close friends and they learned that they shared a lifelong dream of becoming a general in the army. As they discussed how to make their dream a reality, they settled on a plan. Each time one of the young cadets received any kind of commendation or promotion, he would make a point of praising and commending the efforts and achievements of his friend. Each cadet kept his commitment to the other, and over time both of them fulfilled their dream of becoming generals in the army.

Despite humanity’s ever-expanding knowledge about our physical world, there remains a gap in our understanding when it comes to consciousness. How does it arise from a physical system? Is it limited to our brain? How do I explain my experiences, from aha! to awe, that I know to be true, yet don’t fit any current scientific explanation? Have you ever had a hunch, intuition, or gut feeling that seemed to come out of nowhere? How about an insight on a project you’ve been hard at work on that suddenly comes to you in a dream? Or you’ve thought of a dear friend or loved one, and they instantly called or texted? While it may be easy to chalk up these occurrences to mere coincidence, the greatest thinkers, scientists, philosophers, and artists report that such noetic experiences have been central to their process as well as their great works of art and scientific and cultural breakthroughs.

People say I have created things. I have never created anything. I get impressions from the Universe at large and work them out, but I am only a plate on a record or a receiving apparatus — what you will. Thoughts are really impressions that we get from outside.Thomas Edison, Inventor

The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.Nikola Tesla, Inventor and Futurist

no•et•ic: From the Greek noēsis/ noētikos, meaning inner wisdom, direct knowing, intuition, or implicit understanding. The way we understand ourselves and our world is always evolving. From instinct to intuition to intellect, part of being human is using multiple ways to gather and utilize information. Noetic sciences are one of many frameworks we can use to engage with our daily reality. On his way back to Earth after his pioneering moonwalk, Apollo 14 astronaut and IONS founder Dr. Edgar Mitchell had the profound experience of feeling interconnected to everything he was observing from the window of his space capsule: the stars, the moon, our blue planet, and the vastness of the cosmos. He realized quickly that in order to explain such an extraordinary experience (and others like it), there would need to be a rapprochement between the scientific and spiritual interpretations of reality. As a scientist and visionary, Dr. Mitchell saw a need to reconcile his training as an engineer and astrophysicist with the wisdom of the ages to transcend the limitations of what he saw as an outdated materialist worldview. A new framework would be needed: one that could help explain the unexplainable—and spark transformation. He called this framework noetic sciences.

Marketing strategy begins by asking what is most important to the customer, so businesses can provide what the customers want–and both can profit. Knowing what you want in life helps you seek the best gifts and avoid choices that would deter you from happiness.

“It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.”— Max Eastman

This is why we can evaluate and learn from others' experiences as well as our own. Thisis also why we can make and break our habits. We are not our feelings. We are not ourmoods. We are not even our thoughts.

Effectiveness lies in the balance. Excessive focus on P results in ruined health, worn-outmachines, depleted bank accounts, and broken relationships. Too much focus on PC islike a person who runs for three or four hours a day, bragging about the extra 10 years oflife it creates, unaware he's spending them running. Or a person endlessly going toschool, never producing, living on other people's golden eggs -- the eternal studentsyndrome.

PC work is treating employees as volunteers just as you treat customers as volunteers,because that's what they are. They volunteer the best part -- their hearts and minds.

As an interdependent person, I have the opportunity to share myself deeply,meaningfully, with others, and I have access to the vast resources and potential of otherhuman beings.

If I amemotionally interdependent, I derive a great sense of worth within myself, but I alsorecognize the need for love, for giving, and for receiving love from others. If I amintellectually interdependent, I realize that I need the best thinking of other people to joinwith my own.

Independent peoplewho do not have the maturity to think and act interdependently may be good individualproducers, but they won't be good leaders or team players. They're not coming from theparadigm of interdependence necessary to succeed in marriage, family, or organizationalreality

Most of the self-improvement material putsindependence on a pedestal, as though communication, teamwork, and cooperation werelesser values.

We each begin life as an infant, totally dependent on others. We are directed, nurtured,and sustained by others. Without this nurturing, we would only live for a few hours or afew days at the most.Then gradually, over the ensuing months and years, we become more and moreindependent -- physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially -- until eventually wecan essentially take care of ourselves, becoming inner-directed and self-reliant.

For our purposes, we will define a habit as the intersection of knowledge, skill, anddesire. Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is thehow to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something ahabit in our lives, we have to have all three

Manypeople who give mechanically or refuse to give and share in their marriages and familiesmay never have experienced what it means to possess themselves, their own sense ofidentity and self-worth

Perhaps a sense of possessing needs to come before a sense of genuine sharing.

"It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselvesagainst the law."

Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken.

if we want to makesignificant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.

For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is onestriking at the root."

Our paradigms, correct orincorrect, are the sources of our attitudes and behaviors, and ultimately our relationshipswith others.

Kuhn shows how almost everysignificant breakthrough in the field of scientific endeavor is first a break with tradition,with old ways of thinking, with old paradigms.

There is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living. DAVID STARR JORDAN

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

each mistake we make becomes a lesson in wisdom, turning stumbling blocks into stepping-stones.

Leadership is the work that mobilizes people in a process of action, learning and change to improve the long-term viability and vitality of the organization in three ways:  •Purpose is realized more effectively  •People experience increased personal growth, meaning and purpose in their work and lives •Productivity is strengthened

Leadership seeks to do good. It seeks to mobilize people to take action to make things better, to create a flourishing, vibrant organization that meets deep human needs. It seeks to lift and strengthen people and help them thrive. The implication is clear: leaders hold the lives of people in their hands. Leadership is everywhere and always a moral act.

Just as it is a practice to learn to stay with joy in a world that always wants us to move to the next task, it is also a practice to learn to stay with the feeling of being loved by someone who is present, available, already yours.

Desire is delightful, an ‘exquisite tension’ and makes for beautiful art. But it doesn’t make for the greatest relationships because it is - by its nature - a solitary pursuit. It is characterised very much by absence (of commitment, emotional availability, texts). You’re not arriving home on solid ground, you’re suspended mid-air, breathless and hoping.

She notes that the moment of ‘ideal desire’ depicted in most art and poetry is not the beloved and lover reuniting but the quest for love, the fervent pursuit of desire and not desire actualised.

Why did I write it down? In order to remember, of course, but exactly what was it I wanted to remember? How much of it actually happened? Did any of it? Why do I keep a notebook at all? The impulse to write things down is a peculiarly compulsive one, inexplicable to those who do not share it, useful only accidentally, only secondarily, in the way that any compulsion tries to justify itself.—Joan Didion, “On Keeping a Notebook”

I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not.—Joan Didion, “On Keeping a Notebook”

when i hear that kids are on their phones all day, i know that their parents are too.

afterall it tells us that somewhere out there is someone who will meet every need, fulfils every desire, and never falter in their devotion.this narrative is dangerous. it frames love as passive—something that happens to us rather than something we create. it encourages us to view relationships through the lens of destiny, and when things inevitably become messy or difficult, it gives us an excuse to walk away. After all, if love requires effort, then perhaps they weren’t “the one” after all.

part of my love for the arts comes naturally from my profession as a writer. the irony here is that i do not have the words to adequately formulate just what this craft has given me. if i was forced to, i’d sum it up as power. these words i write are little pieces of me; it’s why i’ll never buy into the ‘separate the art from the artist’ nonsense. this work did not birth itself. it could not birth itself; it needed my pen to make it be. first there were only ideas but in my hands, stories and arguments and analysis live.

Media literacy impacts who we vote for, how we understand world events, and the decisions we make in our daily lives. Without the ability to critically evaluate information, we’re left vulnerable to manipulation by misinformation, propaganda, and bad actors who exploit our inability to question what we consume. We are currently losing our ability to actively participate in shaping the society we live in.

People shouldn’t be commenting, “Is this real or AI?” on every piece of content they encounter, they shouldn’t be wondering why The Odyssey is a classic, and they certainly shouldn’t be questioning why chapter books “are extremely lengthy.”

They may excel in memorization or standardized test-taking, but when it comes to critical thinking; asking why a text exists, who it is meant for, and how it seeks to influence its audience, there is a noticeable gap. Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

I thought it was bad growing up during the “just Google it” age, but as society always manages to outdo itself, the current “just use ChatGPT” mindset is so much worse. At least with Google, there was a semblance of effort: sifting through search results, evaluating sources, and piecing together information to paraphrase for your paper that was due in the next hour. Now, the expectation is instant answers with zero context, no critical thinking, and a growing dependency on AI to do the heavy lifting. It’s not just a shortcut—it’s an exit ramp off the highway of media literacy.

Good books are complex and multi-dimensional books with a plethora of themes and symbols. Your job is to pick out the major ones, but maybe even focus your attention on a niche theme you want to tackle in an essay (if your teacher/ professor gives you the liberty of choosing).For example, when I read In Cold Blood, I decided to focus on how Capote portrayed the American Dream through both the victims and perpetrators. This required a much closer read for some parts, as the theme itself was woven through passages and not blatant or very apparent. Figuring this out early on will guide you as you read the book.Even if you aren’t reading a book for a class, it’s always lovely to see how a theme progresses throughout the book. I know a lot of people focus on character and character development, but themes are as equally as important. How does an author develop and deepen the reader’s understanding of a certain topic? How does it manifest in different characters? How does it branch out?

At this point, you should already have a list of themes and characters you want to look out for.

Knowing even a little bit of the author's background and ideology or philosophy behind the book you are reading really helps.

a cup of tea before sleeping: I feel like this is as important for my mental health as drinking coffee in the morning. It bookends my day and lets me feel more peaceful before I head to bed.

reading essay collections: essay collections are an ongoing obsession—I love a good essay collection that is cohesive and articulate and thoughtful, and they’re so great to read when I’m short on time because I don’t have to stop in the middle of a storyline.

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”

Emotional security. The feeling of being at home in the presence of another. Safe to be who you are, good times or bad.

or because he is now drawing nearer to that other place, he has a clearer view of these things; suspicions and alarms crowd thickly upon him, and he begins to reflect and consider what wrongs he has done to others. And when he finds that the sum of his transgressions is great he will many a time like a child start up in his sleep for fear, and he is filled with dark forebodings. But to him who is conscious of no sin, sweet hope, as Pindar charmingly says, is the kind nurse of his age: ‘Hope,’ he says, ‘cherishes the soul of him who lives in justice and holiness, and is the nurse of his age and the companion of his journey;—hope which is mightiest to sway the restless soul of man.’

one of the most obnoxious (but true) pieces of advice I've ever seen is that if you want to get a question answered on the internet, and merely asking doesn't get a response, say something on the topic that you know is wrong -- then people will leap to correct you, and you'll get an answer to your original question much easier.

The book changed my point of view. Statistics, surveys, and anecdotes bear out that there are a great many marriages that are soul crushing for a woman based on the traditional marriage roles that still dominate. There’s an inequality of sharing household chores and childcare and an inequality of who sacrifices their desired careers, especially poignant at a time when women are ascendant in their educational attainment and career opportunities. 2Lyz’s book gave me a clear picture of how in many “normal” seeming marriages––no infidelity, no physical or cruel emotional abuse, no addictions or criminal behavior–––a woman might live a far happier and more fulfilling life if she got a divorce or had never married.

Conversations are the ultimate intersection.It's where the rubber meets the road. Where we leave the safety of our own mind and force ourselves to make our nebulous ideas legible to ourselves and others. It's dangerous to be at intersections. Thoughts are going in all directions. You might have to merge lanes. You might miss a light. Someone honks at you. Random pedestrians dash out without warning. You might not even know where you're going.

What's the hard part?What does success look like?Is the juice worth the squeeze?Who is this for? What is this for?What are potential reasons not to do this, i.e. counterpoints?What is our unfair advantage for doing this?What are areas of risk and how might we mitigate?Why is this likely to work and be a good investment?What evidence, data, and examples am I pulling from?What assets, levers, and constraints are we working with?Who do we need buy-in from in order to move forward?What’s the upside, downside, and trade-offs?Where might I be making an assumption or logical leap that doesn’t make sense?How can we test this in the lowest-overhead way possible?How does this stack rank against other ideas for driving the business?If we decided to move forward today, what would you need to bring this to life?Can we do this ourselves, or do we need to tap into other teams?Why would your target audience be excited to do the thing you want them to do?

Rigorous thinking is realizing that 90% of ideas are probably not worth doing, and the ones that are worth doing, won’t just magically work. It’s realizing that many ideas are decent, but decent doesn’t meet the bar for moving forward when you have limited resources (and resources are always limited, even at large organizations).

Remember: You hired intelligent people, and your best high performers already want to think rigorously. Be their thought partner. If given the chance, they will be excited to sharpen their thinking with your guidance because it's a skill that will serve them now and forever in their careers.

If you only say yes or no to ideas, your team will keep coming back to you with a similar level of ideas. They won’t know why a strategic proposal worked or didn’t. If you want something to change, it’s your responsibility to invest the time to share your thought process, give feedback, and coach them on how to think differently.The end result of whether you move forward with an idea isn’t as important as the thought process behind it. The world champion poker player Annie Duke coined the decision-making principle of resulting, which describes this well:Resulting is the tendency to judge a decision based on its outcome rather than its quality. It's a natural human tendency to think that if a decision leads to a good outcome, it must have been a good decision. Likewise, if it leads to a bad outcome, it must have been a bad decision.

Ask hard questions in a way that's supportive and driven by curiosity, not contempt. When you take this approach, you empower your team members to figure out and articulate a solution. You show you're there with them, and you believe in them.It’s two people walking through an idea and scenario planning what it could look like, with the goal of finding the best solution. It’s win-win.

To establish a norm of rigorous thinking, you’ll want to encourage your team to speak up if they disagree, and to do so respectfully and openly. And when questions are asked of them, to react positively and see the questions as a gift. This part is important: A team member’s initial reaction may be to feel a little defensive, and that’s natural, but that’s not the reaction to act on. The way to react is to appreciate when a colleague cares enough to speak up.

We value qualitative data as much as quantitative, because while numbers never lie, they also never tell the full story. We then write down our thoughts because it is both the most efficient and effective form of communication.

In this world, you rarely say no to an idea, because it's not about saying yes or no. It's about vetting an idea. You ask strategic questions, so your employee ends up realizing themselves that the idea won't work in its current iteration.You work collaboratively to pressure test assumptions. They excitedly go back to the drawing board and come back to you with a stronger iteration and next steps. They hone their judgment and become more strategic over time, requiring less support from you.You have less decision fatigue and get better results. Direct reports feel empowered and take ownership.

Any idea goes, but each team member should be prepared to advocate for their idea and defend it. You should be prepared to walk through the upside, downside, data points rooted in reality, and how it works given your assets and constraints. Anyone can ask questions and probe, and these questions are received with gratitude and openness.

Lazy thinking is assuming your idea simply works, or that someone else will be in charge of “figuring out the details.” Lazy thinkers consider anything they don’t want to do (usually the hard part of actually solving a problem) to be “the details.”

The Early History of Counting is a great article focusing on how long humanity has been offloading its brain, which makes me feel way less awkward about taking so many notes and using fancy tools like calculators and LLMs. Ancient philosophers like Socrates complained about books making people lazy because of not doing oral memorization anymore, which solved into people complaining about computers. Stone Age cavemen probably complained about people offloading their number sense onto tally sticks.

“We can keep ourselves so busy, fill our lives with so many diversions, stuff our heads with so much knowledge, involve ourselves with so many people and cover so much ground that we never have time to probe the fearful and wonderful world within… By middle life most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves.”—John Gardner

“You always have the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.” I have no opinion about this.

“Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions.” You live wherever your attention is, and become whatever you most focus on, so steer your curiosity toward your desired fate.

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” The majority of our suffering is caused not by events but by our interpretations of them.

“It is not death that one should fear, but never beginning to live.” How many of the posts you recently scrolled through on social media do you remember? Not many? Then was there much difference between scrolling and being a corpse?

When I was a teenager, I used to cart an entire duffel bag of books with me whenever I went on vacation. I have a particularly vivid memory of a ski trip with friends in college; one green duffle full of books, and a matching red duffle (borrowed from my parents) full of clothes. I couldn’t imagine going on vacation without books, and for a week away I needed at least twelve.

It is not only in war-time that the British press observes this voluntary reticence. One of the most extraordinary things about England is that there is almost no official censorship, and yet nothing that is actually offensive to the governing class gets into print, at least in any place where large numbers of people are likely to read it. If it is ‘not done’ to mention something or other, it just doesn’t get mentioned.

But he likes playful people, who see conversation as a game. After all, what is conversation for?

11. Noble Cause CorruptionThe greatest evils come not from people seeking to do evil, but people seeking to do good and believing the ends justify the means. Everyone who was on the wrong side of history believed they were on the right side.

7. Fiction Lag (aka Experience-Taking)When people are captivated by a work of fiction, they unconsciously adopt the traits of their favorite characters. We develop our identities by copying others, and perhaps one reason we enjoy fiction is that it gives us ideas on who to be.

5. Ovsiankina Effect (aka Hemingway Effect)We have an intrinsic need to finish what we’ve started. Exploit this by taking your breaks mid-task; the incompleteness will gnaw at you, increasing your motivation to return to work. (When writing, I end each day mid-sentence because it

“If I can predict all of your beliefs from one of your beliefs, you’re not a serious thinker.” — Chris WilliamsonBeing pro-choice and being pro-gun-control don’t necessarily follow from each other, yet those who believe one usually also believe the other. This is because most people don’t choose beliefs individually but subscribe to “packages” of beliefs offered by a tribe.

3. Fredkin's ParadoxThe more similar two choices seem, the less the decision should matter, yet the harder it is to choose between them. As a result, we often spend the most time on the decisions that matter least. To avoid being paralyzed by meaningless choices, use decision-making heuristics.

So how do you decide which games to play? The story of gamification offers five broad rules.

There is, after all, a vacancy in heaven. When God is dead, and nations are atomized, and family seems burdensome, and machines can beat us at our jobs and even at art, and trust and truth are lost in a roiling sea of AI-generated clickbait — what is left but games?

Companies that exploit our gameplaying compulsion will have an edge over those who don’t, so every company that wishes to compete must gamify in ever more addictive ways, even though in the long term this harms everyone. As such, gamification is not just a fad; it’s the fate of a digital capitalist society. Anything that can be turned into a game sooner or later will be. And the games won’t just be confined to our phones — “extended reality” eyewear like Meta Quest and Apple Vision, once they become normalized, will make playing even harder to avoid.

On X, meanwhile, there is a self-propagating system known as “the culture war”. This game consists of trying to score points (likes and retweets) by attacking the enemy political tribe. Unlike in a regular war, the combatants can’t kill each other, only make each other angrier, so little is ever achieved, except that all players become stressed by constant bickering. And yet they persist in bickering, if only because their opponents do, in an endless state of mutually assured distraction.

On Instagram, the main self-propagating system is a beauty pageant. Young women compete to be as pretty as possible, going to increasingly extreme lengths: makeup, filters, fillers, surgery. The result is that all women begin to feel ugly, online and off.

To illustrate his point, Kaczynski describes a thought experiment involving a forested region occupied by several rival kingdoms. The kingdoms that clear the most land for agriculture can support a larger population, affording them a military advantage. Every kingdom must therefore clear as much forest as possible, or face being conquered by its rivals. The resulting deforestation eventually leads to ecological disaster and the collapse of all the kingdoms. Thus, a trait that is advantageous for every kingdom’s short-term survival leads in the long term to every kingdom’s demise.Kaczynski was describing a “social trap”, a term coined by a student of Skinner, John Platt, who’d theorized that an entire population behaving like pigeons in a Skinner box, each acting only for the next immediate reward, would eventually overexploit a resource, causing ruin for everyone. What Platt called “social traps”, Kaczynski called “self-propagating systems”, because he viewed them as negative-sum games that took on a life of their own, defeating every player to become the only winner. He believed such games not only drove industrialization but also replaced the sense of purpose and meaning that industrialization destroyed. They were thus inextricable from technological advancement, and, in a society like ours, impossible to stop.

Put simply, we try to measure what we value, but end up valuing what we measure.And what we measure is rarely what we mean to value. As Skinner showed, the goals of games — points, badges, trophies — are secondary reinforcers that only derive their worth due to their association with something we actually desire. But these associations are often illusory. A click is not the same thing as a food pellet. And points are not the same as progress.

Kaczynski’s theories eerily prophesize the capture of society by gamification. While he overlooked the benefits of technology, he diligently noted its dangers, recognizing its role in depriving us of purpose and meaning. Today the evidence is everywhere: religion is dying out, Western nations are culturally confused, people are getting married less and having fewer children, and many jobs are threatened by automation, so the traditional pillars of life — God, nation, family, and work — are weakening, and people are losing their value systems. Amid such uncertainty, games, with their well-defined rules and goals, provide a semblance of order and purpose that may otherwise be lacking in people’s lives. Gamification is thus no accident, but an attempt to plug a widening hole in society.

Kaczynski argued that such conveniences didn’t make us happy, only aimless. And to stave off this aimlessness, we had to continually set ourselves goals purely to have goals to pursue, which Kaczynski called “surrogate activities”. These included sports, hobbies, and chasing the latest product that ads promised would make us happy.

These features turned social media into the world’s most addictive status game.

Respect is so important to humans that it’s a key reason we evolved to play games. Will Storr, in his book The Status Game, charted the rise of game-playing in different cultures, and found that games have historically functioned to organize societies into hierarchies of competence, with score acting as a conditioned reinforcer of status. In other words, all games descend from status games. The association between score and status has grown so strong in our minds that, like pigeons pecking the button long after the food dispenser has stopped dispensing, we’ll chase scores long after everyone else has stopped watching.

Most of the feedback loops in employment — from salary payments to annual performance appraisals — were torturously long. So Coonradt proposed shortening them by introducing daily targets, points systems, and leaderboards. These conditioned reinforcers would transform work from a series of monthly slogs into daily status games, in which employees competed to fulfil the company’s goals.

This led him to propose two kinds of reward: primary and conditioned reinforcers. A primary reinforcer is something we’re born to desire. A conditioned reinforcer is something we learn to desire, due to its association with a primary reinforcer. Skinner found that conditioned reinforcers were generally more effective in shaping behavior, because while our biological need for the primary reinforcer is easily satiable, our abstract desire for the conditioned reinforcer isn’t. The pigeons would stop seeking food once their bellies were full, but they’d take far longer to get tired of hearing the food dispenser click.

Skinner’s goal was to make his pigeons peck the button as many times as possible. From his experiments, he made three discoveries. First, the pigeons pecked most when doing so yielded immediate, rather than delayed, rewards. Second, the pigeons pecked most when it rewarded them randomly, rather than every time. Skinner’s third discovery occurred when he noticed the pigeons continued to peck the button long after the food dispenser was empty, provided they could hear it click. He realized the pigeons had become conditioned to associate the click with the food, and now valued the click as a reward in itself.

Or as Leonardo da Vinci declared, “To develop a complete mind: Study the science of art; Study the art of science. Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.”

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution." - Albert Einstein

Seeing things for what it is. That's intelligence.

Someone once said that at least one in five people are writing a novel. I barely know anyone who isn’t. It is still a prestigious form. And so, despite social media – the junk food of communication – literature continues to adapt to the contemporary mood. Where there is digital overload, people are returning to this more relaxed, nutritious analogue mode - reading words on a page.

What makes a writer a real writer is that they begin to find an audience for their work; readers who are excited by what they find on the page.

A good, adaptive or healthy coping mechanism is one where the coping behaviour leads to the problem being resolved, or at least dealt with, in way that reduces stress and reduces harm. A bad, maladaptive, unhealthy or destructive coping mechanism is one where the behaviour does not resolve the problem in the long-term and may actually increase the harm. Unhealthy coping strategies may feel like they are having the desired effect in the short term.

A coping mechanism, coping behaviour or coping strategy, is behaviour that someone engages in to try and insulate or protect themselves from psychological damage resulting from a problem in life.

In this sense, humor would help maintain a good emotional state while avoiding solving the problem at hand; and this strategy has been proposed to be particularly effective with low controllable or uncontrollable stressors, such as the COVID-19 pandemic scenario [18].

In a recent review article, Stanisławski proposed the construct of hedonistic disengagement, defined as “a combination of problem avoidance and positive emotional coping. Hedonic disengagement involves the avoidance of information on the problem and a strong tendency to maintain momentary well-being”

Approach coping includes strategies such as active coping, positive reframing, and planning, while avoidance coping includes denial, behavioral disengagement, and distraction. While humor has been reported in association with all these strategies [11,12,13,14], it is largely considered an independent coping strategy, which does not cluster with the avoidance and approach coping styles [15].

Humor is generally considered an adaptive coping strategy [2], that is, a strategy that has been proven to be effective in reducing perceived stress in the presence of stressful events. Humor is also effective in increasing psychological well-being and reducing psychological symptoms.

Humor can be defined as a hedonistic escapism strategy that would work better in the presence of unpredictable or uncontrollable stressors, such as the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic and its related confinement measures.

Many of the coping mechanisms prove useful in certain situations. Some studies suggest that a problem-focused approach can be the most beneficial

Coping is generally categorized into four major categories which are[1]: Problem-focused, which addresses the problem causing the distress: Examples of this style include active coping, planning, restraint coping, and suppression of competing activities.Emotion-focused, which aims to reduce the negative emotions associated with the problem: Examples of this style include positive reframing, acceptance, turning to religion, and humor.Meaning-focused, in which an individual uses cognitive strategies to derive and manage the meaning of the situationSocial coping (support-seeking) in which an individual reduces stress by seeking emotional or instrumental support from their community.

Maladaptive coping refers to coping mechanisms that are associated with poor mental health outcomes and higher levels of psychopathology symptoms. These include disengagement, avoidance, and emotional suppression.

Generally, coping is divided into reactive coping (a reaction following the stressor) and proactive coping (aiming to neutralize future stressors). Proactive individuals excel in stable environments because they are more routinized, rigid, and are less reactive to stressors, while reactive individuals perform better in a more variable environment.

When individuals are subjected to a stressor, the varying ways of dealing with it are termed 'coping styles,' which are a set of relatively stable traits that determine the individual's behavior in response to stress. These are consistent over time and across situations.

Coping is defined as the thoughts and behaviors mobilized to manage internal and external stressful situations.[1] It is a term used distinctively for conscious and voluntary mobilization of acts, different from 'defense mechanisms' that are subconscious or unconscious adaptive responses, both of which aim to reduce or tolerate stress.[2]

"No artist has ethical sympathies," Oscar Wilde once wrote. "An ethical sympathy in an artist is an unpardonable mannerism of style. All art is quite useless."

To address climate change, we need to change culture.

What you must do now is not just read these classics. No, you need to copy them word-for-word in your own handwriting. If you are really serious about becoming a master copywriter, you will do this over and over. The idea here is not for you to steal these promotions but rather, to be influenced by them. You want good writing to become one of your automatic skills and rewriting superb ads and sales letters in your very own hand is the best way in the world to do this.

"The Lazy Man's Way To Riches."

OK, remember how, in several of my past issues, I've kept at you to create a "swipe file" of good ads, sales letters and so on? Not to mention all those headline cards? You do remember? Good!

A very detailed CONFIDENTIAL FACT SHEET. A very detailed LIST OF BENEFITS. A DEAL SHEET which contains the strongest proposition you can offer which has       been reduced to writing.

Writing "copy" is less than 1/10 as important as learning to think about new offers and getting them down on paper as I just did. I can't say it often enough or strongly enough... It Is The Deal... The Offer... The Proposition You Are Making That Is The Heart And Soul Of Great Copywriting!

Strong copy will not overcome a weak offer but.. In Many Cases, A Strong Offer Will Succeed In Spite Of Weak Copy Written By Marketing Morons!

You should think more about how to "sweeten" your offer than any other aspect of writing copy. Think about what you are selling. How would you like to buy it? Would you want a free trial? A huge and legitimate discount? Easy payments? A money-back guarantee? Would you like a free gift with your purchase like a color TV or a toaster oven? A night on the town with Kim Bassinger or Paul Newman? A free Florida vacation?

What you need to do next is to start thinking about your offer. Your offer (think of it as a business proposition) is by far the most important element in the entire sales message we are constructing here.

What's that? You say your car is not heavy at all? In fact, it's quite light? OK, it seems to me that probably translates to a believable reason why your car gets great gas mileage.       It's a snazzy red convertible? Perhaps that translates to the "benefit" of the owner getting a lot of attention from young ladies or other folks he'd like to impress.       It's a sedate grey sedan? Perhaps that translates to the "benefit" of giving the buyer a dignified, no-nonsense impression. Very useful when trying to impress out-of-town clients with your trustworthiness and respectability.

A Benefit List       What we do here is we go over our Fact Sheet very carefully and we translate the facts therein to benefits whenever we can.

Let's get going on that Fact Sheet. Make it long. Make it detailed. Make it complete. What make is your car? What model? What color? How much does it weigh? How many miles on it? What kind of tires? What's their condition? What's the interior like? How many miles per gallon? How much horsepower? How much did you pay for it? Who's been driving it? What kind of treatment has it received? Did it sleep in a garage or on the street? Where has it been driven? In the salt-free South or the metal eating highways of Ohio?

If you do your research properly, if you do enough "prep," your ads and sales letters will almost write themselves. It's like painting a boat. The actual painting is easy; the hard part is the faring (preparation) or getting the boat ready to be painted.

Besides that, we're an arrogant, surly lot most often more interested in dwelling on our divine wonderfulness than we are slaving away on your lowly project.

ou see, the few of us who really can do it (write copy that sells) are so much in demand, you can't even think about hiring us unless you are willing to spend an arm and a leg. And, even then... you'll still have to wait in line.

I have zero competition. It's not that there aren't any other good copywriters. No, it's just there are so incredibly few of us that, mostly, we are friendly and exchange ideas and info freely.

The ability to write ads and/or letters that sell is by far the most wonderful money-making skill you could ever hope to acquire. If you master this skill you should never again have to worry about money.

She believed that too many Latter-day Saints exhibited “a very general indifference” toward genealogy and temple work.7 “Not even an angel from heaven could induce some of these club women and these successful business men to set aside a portion of their time for temple work,” Susa wrote to a friend.

“All the desired inspiration in the world will not save our dead,” she declared. “We must also have information in order to consummate that noble work.”

the genealogy lessons were too difficult. They suggested that the lessons be “simplified” and “emphasis placed on the spiritual rather than on the educational side of this study.”

Susa and Elder Smith spoke together at genealogical meetings—she provided practical instruction in methodology, and he laid out the theological foundations of the work. Thanks to their efforts and those of several like-minded associates, thousands of Latter-day Saints received training and encouragement in performing family history and temple work.

Surname Book and Racial History: A Compilation and Arrangement of Genealogical and Historical Data for Use by the Students and Members of the Relief Society of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

She served on the general board of the Relief Society, where she succeeded in having lessons on genealogy (most of which she also wrote) incorporated into the curriculum. She published a 600-page reference book on surnames and contributed frequently to a new magazine devoted to genealogical research.

She visited genealogical libraries in the eastern United States and England and corresponded with genealogists from many other countries, seeking greater knowledge and expertise.

But in 1918 her driving interest was genealogy and temple work, an area in which she had been a leading Latter-day Saint advocate for over a decade.

In 1889 she founded the Young Woman’s Journal, the monthly magazine of the Young Ladies’ Mutual Improvement Association, which she edited until 1900. She contributed to magazines and newspapers for the rest of her life, and in 1914 she became the first editor of the Relief Society Magazine. For Susa, writing was a beloved pursuit through which she could make a meaningful contribution to the community. “My whole soul is for the building up of this kingdom,” she wrote to one close confidante about her literary ambitions. “I would labor so hard to help my sisters in this same work.”

Brigham Young Academy

if federated approaches take a POSSE approach first, they will likely get better adoption (everyone wants to stay in touch with their friends), and thereby more rapidly approach that federated future.

POSSE is more important than federation.

Friends are more important than federation.

It’s not surprising, as the success has come after significant investment in cycling infrastructure dating back to 2015 when Mayor Anne Hidalgo first started advancing Paris’s cycling plan with 150 million euros invested to double the number of cycling lanes and create a critical mass of infrastructure. This, followed by even greater investment to fill in the gaps and make Paris a “100 percent cycling city.”

cycling in Paris has transcended mere trendiness; it’s become a fundamental aspect of the city’s identity.

The only true praise is thought. The only thing that can back-bone an essay is thought.Robert Frost (1874-1963)