for - progress trap - parenting - traumatizing our children - Nora Bateson - quote - Nora Bateson - progress trap - traumatizing our children

quote - Nora Bateson - progress trap - traumatizing our children (see below) - Let's face it, - If you create a traumatized child - you then have to have the capacity - for dealing with the traumatized child - So it's not just out of benevolence to him but also that - it's a lot easier to be in relationship with someone for the rest of your life that - you haven't damaged

Reply to John Whitfield: I think that one is mostly a semantic issue. In some definitions of learning, learning does equate to a change in behavior. In parenting for example, how is learning measured? If the behavior is changed. Therefore, for parenting, learning is a change in behavior.

I'd argue for many books the same is true, what is the use of a book if the knowledge is only in your head. Application, thus changing one's behavior, is essential for the proper use. Obviously this is not for everything the case, but I am highlighting a few scenarios where it would be accurate to say that learning is a change in behavior.

Nothing is ever black and white, it is quite simplistic to say such things, often there is a lot of nuance going on.

Comment link: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7197621782743252992?commentUrn=urn%3Ali%3Acomment%3A%28activity%3A7197621782743252992%2C7198233333577699328%29&dashCommentUrn=urn%3Ali%3Afsd_comment%3A%287198233333577699328%2Curn%3Ali%3Aactivity%3A7197621782743252992%29

Link for Hypothes.is context: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7197621782743252992/?commentUrn=urn:li:comment:(activity:7197621782743252992,7198233333577699328)&dashCommentUrn=urn:li:fsd_comment:(7198233333577699328,urn:li:activity:7197621782743252992)

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interactive screen instead of passive consumption for children

This Be The Verse<br /> by Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad. <br /> They may not mean to, but they do. <br /> They fill you with the faults they had<br /> And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn<br /> By fools in old-style hats and coats, <br /> Who half the time were soppy-stern<br /> And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.<br /> It deepens like a coastal shelf.<br /> Get out as early as you can,<br /> And don’t have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin, "This Be the Verse" from Collected Poems. Copyright © Estate of Philip Larkin. Reprinted by permission of Faber and Faber, Ltd. Source: Collected Poems (Farrar Straus and Giroux, 2001)

Reference: Larkin, Philip. Collected Poems. New York: Farrar Straus & Giroux, 1989.

Compare with The Kids Are Alright.

Recited in Ted Lasso, S3 https://www.looper.com/1294687/ted-lasso-season-3-episode-11-maes-poem-sounds-familiar/#:~:text=To%20jog%20your%20memory%2C%20the,extra%2C%20just%20for%20you.%22

See also: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Be_The_Verse

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aesopian_language

Parents often use variations of double entendre to communicate between each other with out children understanding while present.

It's also likely that Indigenous elders may use this sort of communication with uninitiated members nearby.

My summary:

Biology: * Life = energy + self preservation * Neanderthals could be the reason why wolves/dogs are living closely with humans. Maybe in the past generations, dogs had no choice but to live with humans as they were scared of our power? * People evolved from the deep ocean (we're made in 70% of water). We're like transporting the sea with us now * Dolphins as mammals came back into the water * RNA invented proteins. Later RNA and proteins created DNA * Life is like any kind of self-reinforcement such as self-reinforcement of RNA molecules which lead to the evolution process * Europa (moon of Jupiter) already evolves some non-DNA life there. Life could exist in its under-ice ocean, perhaps in an environment similar to Earth's deep-ocean hydrothermal vents. It will be fascinating to get to know it

Life: * Don't focus on goals but have a path to prevent the "rat race" sort of feeling * Almost every Hollywood movie has a happy ending. It prepares us, humans, really poorly for the bad times in life We need to read/watch more stories with a bad ending * Life is about accomplishing things, not about being happy all the time * As a parent, don't ask your kid if he's happy but what he's struggling to achieve * Most likely, we live on the best planet during the best time as the most beautiful mammals * If you understand yourself, you won't seek self-assurance in what other people think of you * It's hard to get to know your true self if you live all the time in the same location/environment and have the same friends who would like to have a stable image of you

double-check quote and source

Hilarious that she sees "exceptionally docile parents" as a necessary condition for educational reform!

Reminds me of my 2008/2010 projects in primary schools on this. I find myself explaining marketing ploys to our 6yo in response to material she sees in print, on billboards, and online. Perhaps I should be doing that more consistently

Hilarious!

Happy (early) Father's Day!

(Took me a minute to find the permalink for this by itself since it didn't appear on the "Relationships" archive page.)

Hilarious!

Happy (early) Father's Day!

https://www.biospace.com/article/researchers-answer-how-and-why-infants-die-from-sids/

Researchers Pinpoint Reason Infants Die From SIDS

Well said.

Monica Suri on healthy parenting

Jørgensen, F. J., & Petersen, M. B. (2021). Considerations Underlying Parents’ Acceptance of COVID-19 Vaccines for Their Child: Evidence from Denmark. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/8e49j

Rees, F., Geiger, M., Lilleholt, L., Zettler, I., Betsch, C., Böhm, R., & Wilhelm, O. (2021). Measuring parents’ readiness to vaccinate themselves and their children against COVID-19. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/wrgce

Overall, N., Chang, V., Low, R. S. T., Henderson, A. M. E., McRae, C., & Pietromonaco, P. R. (2021). Risk versus Resilience in Parents’ Health and Family Functioning Across the Pandemic [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/np7w8

Rodriguez, C., & Lee, S. J. (2021). Role of Emotion in Child Maltreatment Risk during the COVID-19 Pandemic. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/cgznf

Feinberg, M. E. (2021). Family Foundations effects during a pandemic: 10 year follow-up [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/4jx9a

Hartshorne, J. K. (2021). Just give them childcare: The COVID-19 pandemic as a natural experiment in parenting practices [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/r64hf

Ward, K. P. (2021). Parenting During COVID-19: A Sentiment Analysis of Reddit Data. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/4ukmd

This is one of the reasons I view the pandemic as a net win for white collar american workers - not the affordance of more family time, but the visibility of it. Kids crashing zooms, babies crying, yelling in the background. It normalizes being a parent

Meleo-Erwin, Z., Basch, C., MacLean, S. A., Scheibner, C., & Cadorett, V. (2017). “To each his own”: Discussions of vaccine decision-making in top parenting blogs. Human Vaccines & Immunotherapeutics, 13(8), 1895–1901. https://doi.org/10.1080/21645515.2017.1321182

<small><cite class='h-cite via'>ᔥ <span class='p-author h-card'>Lou Scheffer</span> in Mathematical Analysis of Candyland (<time class='dt-published'>10/26/2007 21:55:07</time>)</cite></small>

This is some good guidance.

Kartushina, N., Mani, N., AKTAN-ERCIYES, A., Alaslani, K., Aldrich, N. J., Almohammadi, A., … Mayor, J. (2021, March 5). COVID-19 first lockdown as a unique window into language acquisition: What you do (with your child) matters. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/5ejwu

This seems like a good advice!

Overall, N. (2020). Sexist Attitudes and Family Aggression during COVID-19 Lockdown. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/p23bv

Great Parenting.

Try to understand why your kid has problems with motivations, maybe along the self-determination theory route (autonomy, relatedness, and competency).

Try to see if your child has a sense of control of the situation, what skills they have or are lacking to tackle the issue, and if they feel heard and connected.

Sisson, N. M., Willroth, E. C., Le, B. M., & Ford, B. Q. (2020, December 1). The Mental Health Effects of Living with Close Others Before, During, and After the Onset of COVID-19. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/v9mc4

Cameron, E. E., Joyce, K. M., Rollins, K., & Roos, L. E. (2020, November 29). Paternal Depression & Anxiety During the COVID-19 Pandemic. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/drs9u

Asking a kid "how was your day" can cause them anxiety because they still don't have the language to describe their feelings. This question usually don't lead to any good.

On the other hand, make observations! Say something like "you seem frustrated" or "You seem pretty happy today". This helps them develop a language to describe how they are feeling.

As I was writing this I thought about how important books are. They can describe the emotional language of someone and help the reader empathize with it and also adopt ways to express themselves.

这点对家长特别难，因为孩子的好奇心意味着，时间，花销，精力，甚至危险。要想成为一个好家长，首先要自己要储备足够的精力，修养足够的耐心（对于很多家长，只要有精力还是有耐心的，毕竟是亲生的娃），还要有足够的财力。

Whittle, S., Bray, K., Lin, S., & Schwartz, O. (2020). Parenting and child and adolescent mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/ag2r7

The Impact of COVID-19 on the U.S. Child Care Market: Evidence from Stay-​At-Home Orders. COVID-19 and the Labor Market. (n.d.). IZA – Institute of Labor Economics. Retrieved August 5, 2020, from https://covid-19.iza.org/publications/dp13261/

Fathers Matter: Intra-​Household Responsibilities and Children’s Wellbeing during the COVID-19 Lockdown in Italy. COVID-19 and the Labor Market. (n.d.). IZA – Institute of Labor Economics. Retrieved July 27, 2020, from https://covid-19.iza.org/publications/dp13519/

Shafer, K., Milkie, M., & Scheibling, C. (2020). The Division of Labour Before & During the COVID-19 Pandemic in Canada [Preprint]. SocArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31235/osf.io/24j87

Brown, S. M., Doom, J., Watamura, S., Lechuga-Pena, S., & Koppels, T. (2020). Stress and Parenting during the Global COVID-19 Pandemic [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/ucezm

Brik, A. B. (2020). COVID 19 FAMILY LIFE STUDY [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/gcqhp

Romero, E., López-Romero, L., Domínguez-Álvarez, B., Villar, P., & Gómez-Fraguela, J. A. (2020). Testing the effects of COVID-19 confinement in Spanish children: The role of parents’ distress, emotional problems and specific parenting [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/spxtw

Westrupp, E., Greenwood, C., Fuller-Tyszkiewicz, M., Berkowitz, T., Hagg, L., & Youssef, G. J. (2020). Text Mining of Reddit Posts: Using Latent Dirichlet Allocation to Identify Common Parenting Issues [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/cw54u

Blanchard, M. A., & Heeren, A. (2020). Why We Should Move from Reductionism and Embrace a Network Approach to Parental Burnout? [Preprint]. PsyArXiv. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/y34cq

Dachevych, A. (2020 May 04). How lockdown affects babies. BBC News. Retrieved May 11, 2020, from https://www.bbc.com/news/av/health-52507731/coronavirus-lockdown-how-does-it-affect-babies

Banks, G.G. & Butcher, C. (2020 April 17). Telehealth testing with children: Important factors to consider. American Psychological Association. https://www.apaservices.org/practice/legal/technology/telehealth-testing-children-covid-19

Espinosa, F. d., Metko, A., Raimondi, M., Impenna, M., & Scognamiglio, E. (2020, April 10). A Model of Support for Families of Children with Autism Living in the COVID-19 Lockdown: Lessons from Italy. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/48cme

Di Giorgio, E., Di Riso, D., Mioni, G., & Cellini, N. (2020, April 30). The interplay between mothers’ and children behavioral and psychological factors during COVID-19: An Italian study. Retrieved from psyarxiv.com/dqk7h

Tarbox, C., Silverman, E. A., Chastain, A. N., Little, A., Bermudez, T. L., & Tarbox, J. (2020, April 30). Taking ACTion: 18 Simple Strategies for Supporting Children with Autism During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Retrieved from psyarxiv.com/96whj

Great idea for a game with your kids to develop logical thinking in them

British Psychological Society. (2020 March 19). BPS offers advice to schools, parents and carers to help children through the uncertainty of school closures. https://www.bps.org.uk/news-and-policy/bps-offers-advice-schools-parents-and-carers-help-children-through-uncertainty

in Crowley, et al. (2001), parents were 3x more likely to explain science to boys than to girls

Where parent-child attachment is concerned, the attachment between a mother and her child is best described as exclusive, an inward-looking dyad based on affection and care. In contrast, a father’s attachment to his child has elements of affection and care, but it is based on challenge.

The writer explain that bullying is a symptom of social impairment and mental development. Bullying have their own issues that need to be evaluated and possibly intervention. Writer suggest to reach out to bullies in order to find potential solutions for positive effects.

This has got to be a huge difference from thirty years ago. Japan's demographic problems have meant that every kid has a future now.

helicopter parenting is ruining future generations. By kid-coddling, parents are not letting their children experience obstacles in life that they need to overcome in order to grow and gain more knowledge. The logos appeal "Seventy-one percent of American adults think of 18-to-29-year-olds-millennials, basically- as "selfish," and 65% of us think of them as "entitled." That's according to the latest Reason-Rupe Poll, a quarterly survey of 1,000 representative adult Americans." refers back to the thesis " Millennials Are Selfish and Entitled, and Helicopter Parents Are to Blame." The reading reaches out to parents who may be concerned on how to raise their children.

Technology has the human enslave. Giving great thought to this if you look around most humans cannot "live" without technology. Is as if technology has become the oxygen to human life. Parents now a days has use technology to do the parenting and the babysitting for them. You see 2-3 year old toddler glued to the phone. But if technology were to vanish human life would be a lot more difficult than it already is.

Let it be a wicked child who mocks the mother who cares for it. Make my daughter feel—make her feel how an ungrateful child hurts worse than a snakebite.—Now let’s leave. Go!

These are very key skills for anyone. Much compassion and patience and unconditional love needed!

So, middle school is rough for parents also. I think we should get rid of it...

People with infants don't want to hear or believe this.

Do not let the parents limitations pass on to their children.